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Poog dances wildly, having stopped the menace of the vile Squealy Nord. His celebration gets grander and grander his song reaches fever pitches and decibels never before achieved by modern goblin. At the climax of his song, Poog bends over directly in front of Reta, goblin derriere precariously perched under the fightin' goblins nose. He wags said backside back and forth singing, "Noony Noony squish toad balloony" Poog dances away, perching himself close to the hole in the wooden boat stern. He delicately places his ankles behind his ears. He reaches his around behind his weaselly goblin hamstring, praying to Zarongel as a small flame rises from his index finger. Poog takes aim, tightening his abdomen, preparing for holy flamtulence.
"How smarty mask one think that?! huh? Poog da bestest always and Zarongel prove that no bossy bossy Poog around. All hail Poog hot heat firey flame of Zarongel hands of goblin burn piggy swine maneuver!"
Poog's initial reaction to being bossed around by the floating masked goblin is no so bueno. I show mask one Zarongel in him's mouth! Poog thinks to himself. "Poog show smarty mask one Zarongel alright!" Poogs hands begin to glow, and Zarongel erupts from the Goblin's outstretched limbs in the form of a Firebolt!
Poog begins to think he understands the Mogmurch plan. Poog think understand Mogmurch plan. Poog understand plan! In actuality, Poog stopped listening to Mogmurch right after he said something about "fire it firstly." Poog believes that this is where he comes in. Poog will attempt to sneak into position near the overturned boat, and then he attempts to set that boat on fire with his flaming torch. Failing the torch, Poog will use magical means to set the boat on fire.
Some d20 rolls to be used at GM discretion RE: Burnin stuff:
Poog runs towards the signs, eyes gleaming with hatred. The flame of the newly lit torch licks his long ear as he charges toward his target. The grace with which Poog jumps into the air is indescribable in any goblin tongue, and can perhaps only be appropriately captured in one of those long German words that have a very specific meaning and like 8 syllables. Poog's back arches as he brings the torch above his head with both hands. The flames dance gleefully forward, then back, then quickly forward again as Poog brings his improvised flaming weapon down upon the blasphemous scrawls on the wooden, creaking, signs. In the distance, Poog can hear Zarongel chuckle in delight. In distance, Poog hear Zarongel chuckle in delight!
"Poog no like the writings. Writings bad. Poog think maybe burning writing good. That way there no more writing, and that way there much more fire!" Poog makes with the rummaging around in his pack, locating his holy flint and tinder, and his less holy torch. Poog gleefully lights his torch, mischief burning in his huge googly eyes.
Bigger fences?! How will Poog find a fence bigger than this fence inside of this fence. Would not inside of fence mean fence is smaller? Poog intrigued. "Poog intrigued!."
Poog eyes the rickety wooden fence. Zarongel like for Poog burn fences. Poog burn last fence real good. Then Zarongel bless Poog with lotsa flashy bang fireworks. Poog looks around at his companions to check and see if they are paying attention to the fact that he is slinking off toward the rickety wooden fence with a gleam of mischief in his eye.
"Poog got stick o' feelin' better, if'n a gobbo got a sumpin for ol' Poog."
Poog takes a step away from the piggy, reciting a prayer to Zarongel. "You piggy no special fire monster. You piggy no buddy buddy with Zarongel. You piggy bouda git roasty toasty!!!!"
Poog's hands glow as Zarongel imbues him with holy hot heat.
"Poog will lay waste to all aminals too snobberish to be buddy buddy with Poog!"
Hit it with sharp things!!!!
Fire breathing pigs?! This day can be greatest day Poog ever get! Poog must put pig in poke!
OINK: "Oy there, amazing piggy fire animal, you want good food? You like bird pie? You want friend? Poog has these things and Poog will share with you. You need to be partner with Chief and sub chiefs and Poog is buddy buddy with Zarongel, and Zarongel help firey piggies."
"Poog dice... On Fire!!!!" <YEEEEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHH!>
Poog grins widely as his bonds burst free. His smile is short lived as these crazy birds keep pecking him for no good reason. "Take summa this no good crazy bird!"
Poog again attempts to break his bonds.
Tired of seeing the other Licktoads fail miserably at destroying these whack-a-stirges, Poog swims over to about D1. He cries out to Zarongel. "ZARONGEL!" He can feel his hands warm with holy hot heat. "Poog feel hands warm with holy hot heat!"
"Poog never forgive you this time Dogfinder. You have one job. ONE JOB. Find Poog safe travel. You find Poog face full swamp. You lucky you lucky toad. You may be squish toad." Feeling that Dogfinder is sufficiently scolded, Poog approaches the closest plank in order to get close to a stir ge and hit it with his sword.
Poog reaches into his pickle sack and securely grabs his lucky toad, Dogfinder, around the rib cage. He looks longingly into his amphibious friend's eyes, then croaks into his ear hole. Ribbit Ribbit Croak:
"Now Dogfinder, Poog need you find safest route so Poog no fall. You find least shaky path, then you croak secret croak at Poog. Then Poog know to travel thataways." Dogfinder jumps off of Poogs hand and darts around various planks until finally stopping, sitting still, and giving a very squeaky (almost lady like) "CRO-ack." Poog heads off in Dogfinder's direction.
As the vulture plummets toward the earth, Poog starts shrieking. "Move fools comet comin fer us! Zarongel see Poog use unholy coward bow and now we doomed!!!" When the vulture finally lands, and Poog is awarded points for his kill, the mood lightens quite a bit. "Heh. Poog test your faith and you fail. Of course, Poog hit biggest bird. Poog da bestest Cleric of Zarongel and rewarded regularically. Now... who wanna burn some birds?"
"Okie Donkey. Here go Poog!"
"Like dat? Watch dis."
"Savor da flavor"
Turning to Mogmurch, Poog quietly and confidently states "You wanna mulchy eflusive? I got your brutally reclusive... watch this." Poog then turns to the shaman-looking lady gobbo. "Oh haggard and ugly goblin of lesser tribe than Licktoad who appears to be in charge of pretty good tribe called Bird Cruncher, but most definitely not in charge of really goodest tribe called Licktoad... cause we Licktoad... and we whole tribe now, Please give unto Poog, da bestest cleric of Zarongel, who is me, and who me is, all da informativisation that you gots. Includes in testification all speaking as to Birdcruncher tribe. "Poog and other Licktoads ask you, oh powerful stranger of ugly goblins of tribe not called Licktoads, what policy as to vacation? Is Birdcruncher tribe providing the healthy benefits? Also Birdcruncher travel reimbursement is quick and easy? "But firstest, oh slimy lady of tribe almost as good but definitely not as bestest as Licktoads, please... testification as to why all Birdcruncher look like dogs close by. Is dogs close by? Also, do you happen to know what happened to Licktoads?"
Poog looks over to the smarty mask one, happy that he has finally won his respect... or at least happy that the mask one no longer wants to stabby stabby Poog. Feeling excited that he has been asked to perform a task that he can carry out with zeal, Poog starts spinning around in a circle. "BEHOLD... Da Fire ah Matree Mohnee!" As he spins, Poog begins chanting to Zarongel. His spinning gets faster and his chanting gets louder. The tips of his little goblin fingers begin to glow with bright holy light.
"Canon? Did him say canon? big badda boom!"
Poog immediately begins to dance around and sing. "Licktoads is da bestest ones;
Poog holds his Dogslicer over his head ready for Vorka to step through the door. Once Vorka steps out, Poog will be prepared to hit him real good.
Having kind of lost track of what his fellow Licktoads were doing as he considered what a "pocket" was and whether or not he indeed possessed one, Poog is delighted to find that Chuffy has desecrated the corpse of a mangy no good ugly stinking rotten filthy nasty stupid dog. Holding his hands out in front of him, Poog approaches Mogmurch. "Here turtle!" Indeed, in his grubby little hands Poog holds a box turtle. It is missing a leg and seems perplexed as to how it ended up being surrounded by goblins... and stingwings... and dead dogs. This turtle's future does not look bright, and the turtle seems to be aware of this fact. When had Poog summoned this unfortunate creature? Why had Poog summoned this unfortunate creature? "Smarty one. Explain to Poog how turtle helps stingwing plan again."
Poog considers Chuffy's suggestion. Thinking that his pocket might be a great place for a three legged turtle, Poog reaches for the patch. Suddenly, Poog stops, a confused look contorting his ugly goblin mug. "Wait... what is pocket? Poog gots pocket? Pocket also named Poog?" Poog looks around for what might be considered a "pocket," including any sort of sack that may be used for the stingwing plan.
"Where you want Poog put three legged turtle?"
"Poog got no sack or blanket to use, but Poog has been wanting to try out this patch with three legged turtle..."
Trying to be as quiet as he can, Poog crouches down and attempts to duck walk. With his first step, Poog falls flat on his large face and his lucky toad, Dogfinder, jumps away. "DOGFINDER! COME BACK TO POOG!" Poog shouts at the wayward amphibian.
"Poog hear doggy sounds. The doggy sounds are coming from places many." Poog draws his dogslicer and attempts to sneak around like Mogmurch has suggested.
Poog scurries up the ladder, keeping a close eye on Mogmurch given the surprising revelation of his intent as a frog-napper. Once he crests the top, Poog takes a careful look around.
Poog activates the ladder patch on his very useful cloak of usefulness. A ladder magically grows in front of the wide eyed gobbos. "Here, Reta. Poog make ladder for Reta to climb. Take rope too."
"Poog just got idea! Poog showed Gutwad how best Poog is and Poog got patches. Poog got ladder patch can get us up ship. Poog think Reta climb ship with rope, tie rope to ship. Licktoads climb rope. All Licktoads on ship! "Great idea, right? Remind Poog later and Poog tell you about idea for Sting wing bomb."
"What wasper? Smarty mask one say mud ball is trap and Licktoads go other way. No wasper. You crazy."
Poog, his attention finally away from fire given the most holy death of ugly stupid horse, looks to Chuffy in confusion, "What talking about wasper?"
Poog continues to stare longingly into the fence fire. He reminds himself not to touch the flames on several occasions. As much as he wants to hold the fire, he knows that it is not wise to try to grab it. But he wants to grab it. If only he could reach out and touch the fire, then the fire could become part of him and he could become part of the fire. How glorious that would be. He almost touched it just then. He reminds himself that it never works, that no matter how hard he tries he will never hold the fire. The fire cannot be controlled by a goblin's hands, not even if that goblin were Poog da bestest cleric of Zarongel. Maybe Poog could try to put some fire in his pickle sack... No, that has never worked either. Poog resolves himself to being content watching the pitiful fence slowly consumed by Zarongel's holy might.
Poog's eyes glow with devious delight as his faith in Zarongel is rewarded with beautiful hot flames. This pitiful fence stand no chance against beautiful hot flames. Poog spends the next 36 seconds transfixed on the spreading fire, willing it to become an inferno.
Poog watches in disgust as Chuffy sneaks away. "Want thing burn right, Poog burn self." Poog takes a knee beside the pitiful looking fence and draws his dogslicer. He readys the tinder next to a splintered portion of the fence, laying his dogslicer edge up next to the tinder. He carefully examines his flint.
Poog looks at Chuffy exasperated. "Help Poog set fence on fire!"
Poog, short attention span exhausted waiting for Mogmurch to help set the fence on fire, rifles through his pickle sack. Finally, Poog finds his query. He triumphantly raises his flint and tinder above his head, a champion's pose struck by a miscreant with a purpose. Poog looks at the fire-starting tools with relish. A single hanging globule of drool escapes his wide maw. His eyes form into wide flaming gashes in the front of his face. Poog whispers quietly to himself, "No fire started by them, then fire started by Poog."
"FIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRE!"
Poog gets excited when he sees the pitiful fence. That fence look pitiful! Poog turns to the other Licktoads to fill them in on his discovery. "That fence look pitiful!" Poog think maybe that fence burn real good... burn real nice. "Hey! Smarty Mask One. You got firework that burn fence good with hot flame? Let us see that fence burn. Maybe ship catch fire and roast dog or horse also too."
Poog closes his eyes and shakes his head in frustration. "None of yous is good petitionizers. Right answer is: Oh Poog of Zarongel, burniest of burninators, holiest of hot flame, a chewy treat would be good for me and be gooder for all Licktoads, and be goodest for Poog in sharing.' Poog looks from one Licktoad to another to see if his lesson has sunk in at all. "But Poog tired of playing petitionizing game. Poog want to burn things now." Poog lackadaisically drops 3 of the chewies at his feet and walks over to the dead bodies to re-search them for tindertwigs.
Poog grabs all of the sugartreats. "These chewies important to Poog. Poog keep safe for Licktoads. Other Licktoads can petition Poog for chewies. If ask nice, maybe you get." Poog keep all chewies to self. Then Poog eat as many slugs and bugs and cider apples as Poog want. Poog no get sick! Poog immediately unwraps a chewy and... well.... chews.
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