Mammy Mæch'Hæmmær's page

James Jacobs must hate your character.

Stig is the sum of all dwarf cliches--I mean if you're gonna go with a cliche, you might as well go all the way.

<Stig sees the shimmering visage of Mammy Mach'Hammar through the driving snow.>

"Ye fa' useless drunken sack ay jobby! That's reit. Tak' some warmin comfort frae th' fact 'at if ye stumble it intae th' snaw an' freeze tae death yoo'll hae achieved far mair than Ah ever expected ay ye."

<Seen only by Stiggy.>

"Stiggy ye useless drunken sack ay jobby, yoo'd best sober yerself up ur yer gonnae be a dragon's lunch shortly. Althoogh honestly 'spikin that's a guid deal farther than anyain ever expected ay ye."

*In Stig's mind*

"Ye boggin' tripe. Ye tak' a potion frae a pumpin' drow? Ah swear ye wull dram anything if it ain't cooncil juice. Tis a pumpin' miracle ye'r aye alive."

"Stiggy, ye lazy sack o' jobby, ye'r a blight oan th' name o' th' Mæch'Hæmmærs. A weel is tae guid fur ye. Ye bloggin' blootered blob."

fort save......CRIKEY! +12?!?

"Aye, es ah use'tae say whin nursing mah wee jimmies wi' ale from me beard: th' livah needs exercisin tae git big 'n' strong."

Eric Hinkle wrote:

I'll be dleighted to buy this when it comes out. Dwarves never seem to get the respect they deserve in RPGs.

Oh, we'll make sure that dwarves get plenty of respect in Pathfinder.

"Mammy seen ye lookin' at 'er striplin'. Ye ken she's nae abune a wee thigh crushin' wi' a humankin'. Aw in fin."

Ha ha ha ha! I knew this would happen.

You gnomes have a glong gway to go.

"Noo thes striplin fellah gabs a bree wit. Aw ye feckin' gnomes hae ur a puckl'a lettahs 'e swap aroond. We Khazak hae coolchah."

"Ah'll tak' ye it ay thes warld Stiggy, jist as Ah birthed ye in. Lest born, farst tae die. Ah aye kent ay ye."

Can we please set down right now that Golarion dwarves don't talk like that? Make them order-lovers who abhor accents or slang!

That alone would make that book so worth buying.

"By th' hairs ay mah undahbeart, whit kin' ay pish is 'at. Yu'r th' dolpid goblabairns 'a dinnae gab reit!"

*WHACK*

I like dwarves.

Just sayin'

"A wee cheil in th' arms an' legs ye ur but reit bonnie. Wa dae ye nae coom ower haur an' sit in Mammy's lap?"

Hmph. I had to double check. My very first published adventure featured a battle site from the war between the Stonegate dwarves and the Rockfist duergar. I had a momentary thought that one of them was the Stonefist Clan, but not quite.

"Ye ooght nae ignair Mammy wee bunsah. Ef ye wont tae rit abit dwarves ye need tae ken aw 'eir secrets."

<Mammy pulls up her skirt a little.>

Ochayyer Stoonfast ista clannae coal moonchiz!

"Awrite bonnie loon, greeetens te ye. Ye ken Mammy 'es hud some Dooke en 'er oan mony 'e moon. Hoo aboot a wee moonch ay Mammy's 'edden beard wee Jobbie."

Ewwwwww. I've made myself sick just writing that.

I like dwarves.

Just sayin'

"A wee cheil in th' arms an' legs ye ur but reit bonnie. Wa dae ye nae coom ower haur an' sit in Mammy's lap?"

"Ah'll tak' ye it ay thes warld Stiggy, jist as Ah birthed ye in. Lest born, farst tae die. Ah aye kent ay ye."

"Stiggy ye finish oop th' cleanin' immediate ur Ah'll flin' ye in 'at Moradin cursed weel agin"

You still like dwarves Shackleton?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-
STIG's DREAM
"Stiiiiigwooooold! Ye lazy piece ay gobbo jobby ye gie ower haur reit noo ur Ah swear Ah'll lock ye in th' box an' flin' th' key awa'...."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Noo dornt mek me throon ye intae th' weel.

Ahf gut a goatee aroond mah erse ye skinny, cuttie-life, garlic-eaten flatlandah.