Heathy's Saltmarsh Campaign, II

Game Master Heathansson


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I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

8,000!!!!!!


Bard 8/ Troubadour of Stars 9 Epic Shredder
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
Pendobar 'Pip' Bushytoe wrote:

Spot: 1d20+4=5

Pip, enjoying a cigarillo as they paddled along, is oblivious until Altai warns the group. He flips the cheroot into the river and perks up.

"Gothcha man."

Elgan!!! Litterbug!!!!! ;)

Hey its biodegradable! :P


Male Human Rogue 14

“C’mon Gittik.”

Beldan gesture for the boat to be brought around to the bank, climbs out, and begins creeping into the lizardman village, trying to keep to the shadows of trees, tall grasses and huts.

Hide: 18+ 12 = 30, Move Silently: 14+15 = 29, Spot: 9+1 = 10, Listen: 13+1 = 14


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

"Okay! Me go with notso noisy!"
I rolled for Gittik; he's pretty damn silent.

The two creep into the village; they slide in between two closely spaced wigwams, scouting, observing. One wigwam has a solitary resident, sleeping on a palette, warming itsself by the fire; in the other there's a female and 4 children; she's preparing fish. The mood is silent and somber. The children seem very sedate. Even lizardman children should be bouncing off of the walls....

After a while, three males surface from the pond; armed with spears and scant else. They enter the village, grab the nearest dead, and carry him into the water; they swim across the pond and disappear into the trees with the fallen lizardman.


Bard 8/ Troubadour of Stars 9 Epic Shredder

Pip whispers to Oso

"Hey man gimmie a shot of that flying juju if things get hot ok?"


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

There's a plume of smoke now, over in the direction the three went with the fallen lizardman. They return in about 10 minutes, and grab the next one; same thing.


Male Wild Elf Druid 16 (Shifter version, PHBII)

Elgan nods at the others plan, but politely declines to be "Truss' lahk a FallFeas' goose". He informs the rest that he will watch from above, shimmers into the form of a hawk, and follows the group from high above.
He is far enough away to merely bee a bird hunting the river, but close enough to get to the others in a fast dive/double move.

Pendobar 'Pip' Bushytoe wrote:

Pip, enjoying a cigarillo as they paddled along, is oblivious until Altai warns the group. He flips the cheroot into the river and perks up.

"Gothcha man."

There is a faintly heard screech from high above at the halfling's inconsiderate action, but that's all,... for now,...

Spot check on Lizard village: 1d20+11=27


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

Elgan, from your lofty vantagepoint, you can see the three lizardmen are dragging the fallen to a funeral pyre. There's about 9 more lizardfolk over there, adding fuel, lamenting; they look like women, children, and elderly.


Women and children? Throw them in the fire, too. Rock and Roll. Classic D&D, baby!


Lord forgive me for that last post. And the one a page or two back that Stig made about knocking the ugly girl's teeth out. Stig is taking me over. AAaAahAHahHAHAHahhhHhhhhhhh!


Barbarian (berserker) 3; Init +1; AC18; Hp 36/41; Saves Str +5, Con +7; Passive Perception 9

"Why not us all? Two gets dem killed an' us too fur te help," asks Oso of the planners.

He waits anyway. This Gittik must be a mean son of a whatever.


<Stig stays back because he sounds like a sack of shattered kitchen appliances being dragged down stone steps.>

This is bad news guy. Heathy is starting to sound like my mom when she DMed Keep on the Borderlands for my brother and I. All "the only survivors are some weeping kobold women and their fatherless hatchlings."

Man I was 8 years old when mom pulled that on me. Sniff, sniff.


Male Wild Elf Druid 16 (Shifter version, PHBII)

Aw man! NOW I feel bad! (Well, not me, but the Druid.) Whatever did this to them was obviously bad news. NEvermind that WE were basically planning on doing the same thing! ;P I'm guessing that (At least for the Druid) it's find-out-what-did-this-and-return-the-favor time?

Was thinking about making contact, big first impression and all that by landing and changing in front of them, then bargaining with them to find out who did this. BUT,...
1) I didn't wnat to jump the gun on the group without letting you know what I was thinking, and,...
2) I reeely didn't want to become a lizardman kabob without backup! ;P


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Stigwold Mæch'Hæmmær wrote:

<Stig stays back because he sounds like a sack of shattered kitchen appliances being dragged down stone steps.>

This is bad news guy. Heathy is starting to sound like my mom when she DMed Keep on the Borderlands for my brother and I. All "the only survivors are some weeping kobold women and their fatherless hatchlings."

Man I was 8 years old when mom pulled that on me. Sniff, sniff.

LOL!

I'm sorry; I didn't set out to construct that old ham-fisted morality play....it's just the story in flux conjured certain realities.
I didn't think, "I need to construct a situation that revolves around the old what do we do with all the young hobgoblins" conundrum; I've been bored with that for twenty years. It's not meant to be that.


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)
Elgan Dreadwood wrote:

Aw man! NOW I feel bad! (Well, not me, but the Druid.) Whatever did this to them was obviously bad news. Nevermind that WE were basically planning on doing the same thing! ;P I'm guessing that (At least for the Druid) it's find-out-what-did-this-and-return-the-favor time?

Was thinking about making contact, big first impression and all that by landing and changing in front of them, then bargaining with them to find out who did this. BUT,...
1) I didn't wnat to jump the gun on the group without letting you know what I was thinking, and,...
2) I reeely didn't want to become a lizardman kabob without backup! ;P

They might be impressed by a taking bird, though. Is the pyre full of red lizardmen? If not, our raiders might be from somewhere else.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

No red ones...


Male Wild Elf Druid 16 (Shifter version, PHBII)

Wow. 8 years old. That IS rough! Heh, I always preferred my villains obvious and,... well, villainous. That way we could cleave them with no second thoughts. :) Meh. If'n I want a philosophical debate, I'll watch the evening news. There's always PLENTY on there to get into a good argument over! ;P

Elgan-Hawk circles the pyre area once more, making sure that there aren't red lizardmen hiding in the trees, then makes a large, lazy cautious circle back to the others. He lands in a tree above their heads and shifts back to an elf.

"Hey dere" He whispers from above. "Dey lizzies 'er takin' deh bodies an' burnin' dem at a pah-air in deh trees oveh yonduh."

"AH tooks a guud look, 'n ah don' see any o' deh red-skinned lizzies wit dem. Ah'm startin' tah t'ink dat mebbe dis aint deh group whut's causin deh trouble. "Why don ya'all stay hidden, an' ah'll make a gran' entrance. Dese lizzies usual have decen' respec' fer us druids. Ah'll see if'n ah can't fin' out wha' happen'."

After waiting a moment to hear any counter proposals, Elgan nods, and shimmers back into a hawk, taking into the air with a beat of powerful wings.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

Gittik; Beldan see 4 armored (breastplates) and thoroughly weaponed lizardmen come out of the double doors of the long house. They look around a little, and go back in.

Spot: dc 15 (elgan can try too...) anybody further away is spot d.c. 20.

Spoiler:
none are red lizardmen.

If you get the spoiler...
int d.c. 20

Spoiler:
NONE of the RED LIZARDMEN used equipment, either armor or weapon. They fought tooth and nail.


M Halfling Barbarian 10

<whispers> "Hey, Deaf and Blind, they have no red lizards, and they seem to have been in big fight. We sure they enemy to us? I mean, we can can kill them, no problem, but maybe we find out first what happen? Maybe Iron Rabbit S+*! look like lizard again and ask them?"

Failed the Spots.


Bard 8/ Troubadour of Stars 9 Epic Shredder

Spot: 1d20+4=7

The distance and Pip's small stature make it difficult to see what's going on in the lizardman village.

"Psst. You seein' anything Oso?" He whispers to his tall friend


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

After about 15 minutes, a group of 15 humanoids leaves the long house.

Knowledge: nature d.c. 10

Spoiler:
they're locathah.

They walk down to the pond, jump in, and disappear from view.


Male Wild Elf Druid 16 (Shifter version, PHBII)

ACK! Cross-post! below happens AFTER the 15 humanoids leave the longhouse!

Spot Check: 1d20+11=25

I refuse to acknowledge the roll I got for the Int check by posting it. Or even talking about it. Pathetic, really,...

Elgan's elvish eyeballs peer at the lizardmen as they come out to look around.

"Dey ain' red lizzies eeder. Dat's green hide showin' whar deh armo' don' covuh." The elf whispers to those below as he watches them reenter the long house.

As the 15 humanoids exit the longhouse and leave, he looks puzzled.

"Dose 'er Locatha. Dey don usually mix wit' de lizzies, dey lahk deh sea, and deh lizzies likes deh swamp. Whut's goin' on heah?"

His fine jaw firms as he makes up his mind.

"Yew all stay put now. Ah'm gonna go an' have a lil' chat wit' dose fellers. Ah'm not a gonna kill'm iffen al dey have left izza handful of kids n' old folk. Ah'm a thinkin' mebe dey kin he'p point us to deh fellers we'se really aftuh."

He pauses, "If'n t'ings DO go south, feel free tah jump in an' he'p. Ah ain't proud, 'er stoopid, er nuthin." He says with a shy grin.

THEn he shimmers back into a hawk and takes to the skies. He circles the lizardman village twice, and decides NOT too wait for the return of the burial party, as greater numbers might make the already unhappy lizardmen more prone to look for someone to punish for what has happened.

While circling, he begins crying out. An avian-voiced version of an old elvish tune that he liked as a child. HE sings loud and strong as he circles lower and lower, giving those inside the longhouse plenty of time to hear and see him coming. Finally he alights to the ground in the middle of the clearing in front of the longhouse. Still in the form of a large hawk, and still singing, he watches to see how those inside respond.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

The four warriors emerge from the 'house, brandishing metal weapons....halberds, axes......
One speaks, "be this some trick?"
Lizardmen emerge from their hovels....you see, again, many more old, women ,and children than warriors.
An elderly woman lizardfolk elatedly yells, "a druid! Semuanya, a druid!"

(Semuanya's the lizardfolk god of....lizardfolk ack!)
There's a lot of crosstalk in the crowd. The warriors are menacing you, Elgan, but not pressing combat. They're 10 feet away or so.


M Halfling Barbarian 10

<draws swords while still in hiding, in case things turn rough>

How far away from Elgan are we?


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Gittik wrote:

<draws swords while still in hiding, in case things turn rough>

How far away from Elgan are we?

A good 150 feet or so; he's also up on a turf mound about 20 feet high off the ground.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

"A druid! We've been blessed at last!"

"He's an elf!"

"A druid's a druid!"

the crowd's cacophony grows excited.

The warriors four aren't budging, one way or another.


Male human/lizardfolk form Paragon 3 /Evoker 3 (abjuration&enchantment barred) ---15096XP

In Draconic

Spoiler:
Be at ease! We are not your enemy. What has happened here and how can we help? We are very strong and can help you much if you are victims of ill intent.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

The four warriors look perplexed at Riese. One speaks up...

"I am Grinning Crocodile. I have fought in twelve combats, and am now....warboss of the tribe. I bid you enter the longhouse of Hrrth Grrrhar, for the Chief will give you good audience."

They are at ease.

"This druid must be sent by Semuanya," he adds. They all nod.


dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
8,000!!!!!!

once we past the 3 word game we can claim our prize.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Stigwold Mæch'Hæmmær wrote:
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
8,000!!!!!!
once we past the 3 word game we can claim our prize.

The three word game shines our shoes with it's meagre 6,700 or so posts.


Male Wild Elf Druid 16 (Shifter version, PHBII)

Sorry, started something and then disappeared! Heh!

Elgan-Hawk waits until the warriors and others have come out to see what is going on, and then, at a suitably tense moment, shimmers back into his elven form, and slowly raises himself up to his full height.

Of 5'4".

Looking from warrior to warrior, he slowly raises his hand,...
and tucks a stray dreadlock back behind his ear. He then places his hand on his chest and bows. Raising up, he holds both hands out to show they are empty, though his weapons are plainly visible, and says in Sylvan,...

"Hail great and nobles warriors, relatives of the mighty dragons! I hight Elgan of the Deep Dreadwood. I serve Mother Earth, Father Sky, Brother Fire and Sister Water. I have seen the result of what would seem to be a great force which assailed your people. I come to offer my aid and assistance. If there are any who require healing, it will be my honor to offer my skill."

He looks the warriors in the eyes, and when it seems that maybe they didn't understand as much as he hoped of Sylvan, he tries again in Common,...

"Hey Dere mighty-fighters an' dragon-kin! Dey calls me Elgan o' deh Dreadwood. Ah am a priest in deh sahvice ov Nature isse'f. Ah wuz flyin' ovah an' saw whut happen'. If'n yeh liahk, Ah offuh mah se'vecis as healer tah any who requiah it. It would be muh pleasure."


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

"We'll show you in and see you before our chief if you would, good druid. Woe is upon our folk, though; for all our druids are been put in the turf to drink wooden wisdom from the roots of oak.
We await more to be reincarnated. Although our lines might very well end here, in this accursed place.
We accept what blessings you can muster, and give you as good a hospitality as we can offer. Though.....you will find it lacking, good druid." This speaks Grinning Crocodile; and he motions to his comrades to swing open the double doors to the great hall.


Male Wild Elf Druid 16 (Shifter version, PHBII)
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:

The four warriors look perplexed at Riese. One speaks up...

"I am Grinning Crocodile. I have fought in twelve combats, and am now....warboss of the tribe. I bid you enter the longhouse of Hrrth Grrrhar, for the Chief will give you good audience."

They are at ease.

"This druid must be sent by Semuanya," he adds. They all nod.

Elgan bows again and says in Sylvan,...

"It is a great honor that you do us." He says with a sideways glance at Reise, whom he did not expect to show up quite so soon. "It will be our pleasure and honor to meet with your chief."

Seeing the lizardmen's eyes blink (in that peculiar sideways fashion particular to the lizard species) in vague comprehension, Elgan sighs inwardly and repeats in common,...

"Ah, yer too kin' chere! Izza great honuh, truly. We'd be pleased tah meetcher chief. Jest as happy as frog onna lilypad!"


dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
Stigwold Mæch'Hæmmær wrote:
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
8,000!!!!!!
once we past the 3 word game we can claim our prize.
The three word game shines our shoes with it's meagre 6,700 or so posts.

Holy crap I thought it was like 10 grand.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

They show you in. It's a long hall; the thatched roof held aloft by wide totem poles which are cordoned off with skins painted with sacred symbols and stylized scenes of lizardmen at war, or at hunting...
2/3 or so down the hall there's a great fire pit, and past that there's a raised wooden platform with a throne upon it. There sits the chief, mail on his breast, and the skin of a bear across his lap; blades at his armrests which are fashioned of the skulls of two giant crocodiles.

The old battle-scarred reptile considers you with his one good unblinking eye, the other is a milky orb lost to wander the ceiling...

"Welcome to my hall, good druid. It is good to have one of the divine among us. Welcome to my hall, such as it is. My hall of lamentation,"
His raspy voice barely a tone above the sound of the splitting fuel in the firepit.


Male Wild Elf Druid 16 (Shifter version, PHBII)

Elgan grins, somehow managing to show almost as many teeth as Grinning Crocodile, if not as large or pointy.

"Hospitality honestly offuh'd, howevuh humble, iz nevah lackin'. Iz allus guud chere'!" He replies. He bends low and snags a handful of dirt from the ground as he walks, and before he enters the longhouse, tosses it into the air in front of the door and chants in Sylvan,...

"Blessings of Mother, Father, Brother and Sister be upon this house and all who dwell within."

He pauses only long enough to make himself presentable, (Tucking another stray dreadlock behind his ear, ignoring the twigs in his hair from sleeping in the trees last night), and strides through the doorway,...


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

"I....am Hrrth Grrrhar. Chief of this folk."


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

"I see, druid, you brought warriors and magi. Do you come to give us battle?" asks the chieftain.


Male Wild Elf Druid 16 (Shifter version, PHBII)

LOL! Cross-post frenzy! This my last one for tonight, gotta get some sleep,...

dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
"I....am Hrrth Grrrhar. Chief of this folk."

Elgan bows again.

"Ah offuhs yeh greetin's great chief, in deh names o' deh Four, Mother, Father, Brother an' Sistuh. Ah ah'm called Elgan, late of deh Deep Dreadwood, an' tis ah who iz honuh'd tah be admitted inta yer hall. Tis'a fine Hall suh, truly fine. Tis yer people whut seems tah have been inflicted wit' a great woe. If'n yeh care tuh tell dis humble trav'leh yer tale, mayhap me an' mah companion kin be o' some he'p?"

EDIT-

DM wrote:

Chiseler Back avatar

"I see, druid, you brought warriors and magi. Do you come to give us battle?" asks the chieftain.

"Tis true ah travel wit' sum othuh's. But while battle wit' you would be an' honorable fight, worthy o' tales, upon seein' whut has befallen yeh, we only offuh battle if'n yeh wish it. Ah offuh's instead muh humble skills as a healuh, an' deh listenin' ears o' deh woods. Tell me yeh tale great chief, dat ah may seek deh council o' de Family on yer behalf."


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

"Very well then...I'll go back to the beginning."

He clears his throat.

"My folk dwelt here, long ago, until fifty years past younger, more adventurous lizardmen found an island paradise to the south. The druid of the fellowship was convinced that it was the Blessing of Semuanya that this island be revealed to them; and so our folk journeyed there. Many generations we spent there. It is surrounded by cliffs, and the center of the island is a gentle lagoon guarded by a seawall of ancient make. In the lagoon is a ziggurat left by people long gone into mystery.

We dwelt there a time.

Then the sahuagin came. The sea demons.
Followers of the six-fingered demon lord. Wicked rebels against their own foul religion. They coveted our island, and so brought war against us.
There were....too many....
those that could fled back here. I led them back here. To the old place.

So here we dwelt again for a cycle of the seasons. I sought to find allies. The people of the sea, who I knew would not have those sahuagin so close by, wreaking their wickedness. I also bought weapons from men, at the ancient haunted hall. I sought weapons and allies, to take back our island.
Then the Resurrection Man came. He promised us life eternal, and vengeance against those wicked followers of the six-fingered man. If only we would bow down to Orcus and serve death.
I drove him away, but...there were those who wished to join with him.
My....own son.
And so he sought out the Resurrection Man.
Now my son is dead.
Now my son haunts this hall, his flesh walks dead on the turf.
His dead tongue calls himself now Baal Sakatha, and he leads ten hands of fingers of my men."

The old lizard man moves the bearskin. One leg is amputated.
"He comes here, every night, and whittles his father away piece by piece. And now, I can no longer fight my son. He killed the druids. He whittles his tribe away man by man. Some join, some die.

We are a doomed folk.
The folk of the ocean abandon our allegiance.
We are lost."


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

I gotta crash too...


Barbarian (berserker) 3; Init +1; AC18; Hp 36/41; Saves Str +5, Con +7; Passive Perception 9

"Pip, ma main man, the hawkelf has gone into the Hall fur a chat dat leader's dere, I guess."

He waits.

"Bin long time, maybe us should be in too?" he looks around at the Regulators seeking guidance. Maybe they are used to letting Elgan fly solo.


<Dozes off on the poop deck, snoring loudly.>

Talking in his sleep: "Nae, nae.... mumble, mumble... nae mammy, nae the weeell..."


Bard 8/ Troubadour of Stars 9 Epic Shredder

Pip looks up at his friend's worried face

"I don't know Oso, these guys seem to have their own way of doin' things. They don't seem too worried about them."

A sudden sound like a bobcat stuck in a meatgrinder startles him. He looks over to the prone form of Stigwold which has just begun to snore.

"I guess we should sit tight for now."

Pip rubs his eyebrows, a nervous habit of his.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-
STIG's DREAM
"Stiiiiigwooooold! Ye lazy piece ay gobbo jobby ye gie ower haur reit noo ur Ah swear Ah'll lock ye in th' box an' flin' th' key awa'...."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Male human/lizardfolk form Paragon 3 /Evoker 3 (abjuration&enchantment barred) ---15096XP

Where there is life, there is hope, great chieftain. Where the Regulators are, hope grows for the just. Tell me chief, what is the best way to aid your remaining peoples? Would you have your son's forces destroyed? Do you wish to have your folk taken to a safe haven? Is there some force controlling your son that could be destroyed?
I wish to aid your people in their plight.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

"No, no safe haven. We stay here, I guess.
He comes every night, my son, and slays. I've killed him twice. He turns into smoke and comes again the following night.
He will come to this hall tonight, and you can kill him.
Perhaps you can kill him and he will stay dead, druid?"


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

If you want, everybody else can assume they rolled up into the longhouse; once they noticed that these lizardmen weren't in to stabbing up the druid and whatnot.


M Halfling Barbarian 10

<after crashing the lizard chieftain's pow-wow>

"Hey! Me Gittik! Me dad want to kill me too. Why dad always want to kill son? If me have son, me want to kill him too? Me worry - what Jane say if me kill son? Maybe she no want to jiggy with me no more?"


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

He's....silenced by that, I am too.... as if he's trying to come up with a response of some kind.

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