Krom the Barbarian's page

Holger Coulson wrote:

J-Gal wrote:

That's more of a personal preference. I feel that half-orcs should be relatively uncommon and certainly looked upon with horror and scorn. I said it explicitly to get a rise out of you guys but I do mean it. I don't like them.

I won't hold it against ya. Don't like some of my mates myself.

Hell with that, I'm proud of who I am. Why wouldn't I be? Blood of badass heroes on both sides of the family.

Even if mom spent my childhood throwing logs at me to get me ready for the world. @#$%, wonder how she's doing?

Krom's mum do same thing.

"IF YOU CAN DODGE A LOG YOU CAN DODGE A BALL!"

When Krom play RPG he like to Roleplay. Otherwise he is just playing G. Playing G is fun. But the RP is what make game RPG. This why Krom picked RPG and not G.

Krom like to get in mind of character. Examples include:

Not-Krom the Barbarian, Not-Krom the Barbarian very different from Krom the Barbarian. Not-Krom am not like kitties. Not like Krom who like kitties (very tasty!)
Not-Krom say things like: "I'm going to smash you with my axe."
Krom would say: "Krom smash you with him axe."
Not-Krom have much better diction than Krom. Him have higher intelligence score than Krom after all.

Krom's other character is Not-Krom II the Wizard. Him say things like: "Verily thou shalt be smoten with mine magic missiles."
Not-Krom II very clever indeed that's why him speak fancy common.

Krom the Barbarian worship gods that help him achieve victory and if they won't help? Then to HELL with them!

Krom have druid friend to reincarnate Krom. So him effectively immortal anyway.

What Krom alignment you ask? NONE YOU BUSINESS! This why Krom regularly eat lead paint, this make Krom undetectable to magic.

Krom am like to fight monsters and expand him vocabulary.

Krom's new word today is vocabulary.

I'm that stupid!

Cowards and Bullies with cunning calamari hats.

To hell with him then!

Krom Barbarian. Krom smash good. Krom am about level 12/mythic tier 6.
Puny man got problem with that? Then puny man get SMASHED!

UGG AM CLARIFY

UGG GOD LIVE IN FIST NOT OTHER WAY AROUND

Krom understand! Fist am NOUN!

edit3-There is literally no fitting response to that that's appropriate for these forums. ;)

Krom not understand what problem?

Krom barbarian of action and not words. Is paradigm dirty word in common?

UGG! Me like Ugg, him teach Krom how Fist Gods. Gods not like it, because Krom not buy into objective alignment paradigm. Also gods not much like fist.

Krom miss Thog. Him lose touch with clan after enrolling at squishy school.

Krom never justify multi class. Krom am paladin, dipped to take advantage of Krom good charisma. Krom not believe in objective alignments. Gods too scared to argue.

As long as Krom can be a super-ripped dude fighting monsters while wearing only loincloth Krom not care what anyone else wear.

Before Krom stop responding Krom would like help Deuxhero's fighter and buy him a magic longbow. Krom not think him know him can use bows when monster fly away.

Grod! Long time no write.

Krom am wonder where good place to buy stretchy purple pants?

Krom talk like this!

When people ask Krom question, Krom always have best answer.

Krom say: "Violence like alcohol, if it not solving your problems, you need more!"

That all Krom have to say on topic!

Krom like typing in third person. Him find pronouns confusing.

Krom the Barbarian wrote:

Krom Also Subtlest One There Is! When Him Go To Party And Make Innuendo* About Host's Fat Wife Him No Take -2 Circumstance Penalty To Bluff Check! Everybody Believe Krom When Him Hold Earthbreaker Hammer! Earthbreaker Hammer Give +2 Bonus To Everything.

To Answer OP's Question:

Many People Play Puny Human Because Puny Human Gets Bonus Feat! Krom Wish Him Have Cleave 2 Levels Sooner Than Him Did! Power Attack Lame 1st Level Feat, Cleave Useful Against Stinky Goblins!

*** spoiler omitted **

Ah, Intimdation as the one and only social skill necessary. You just need enough ranks in it.

Want a date: Stare menacingly at the compteition until you are the only choice left. Dont need Innuendo.

Want to negotiate a treaty: sharpen your axe while straing menacingly at the enemy diplomat. Dont need Diplomacy.

Want to get a better price on a weapon: mention how it would be a shame to get so much blood on the wooden cases...while straing menacingly. Dont need Negotiation.

Want to take an opponent off guard: Roar your battle cry inhis face...while looking at him menacingly. Dont need Bluff for Feint.

Want to win at poker: Stare menacingly at your opponent and tell him surely that "2-4-6-8" is a Barabrian Flush and beats any hand there is. Dont need Bluff for Gambling.

-Weylin

Krom Like Cut Of Your Jib! Krom Not Sure What Jib Is! But Him Sure Like The Cut Of Yours!

Krom Also Subtlest One There Is! When Him Go To Party And Make Innuendo* About Host's Fat Wife Him No Take -2 Circumstance Penalty To Bluff Check! Everybody Believe Krom When Him Hold Earthbreaker Hammer! Earthbreaker Hammer Give +2 Bonus To Everything.

To Answer OP's Question:

Many People Play Puny Human Because Puny Human Gets Bonus Feat! Krom Wish Him Have Cleave 2 Levels Sooner Than Him Did! Power Attack Lame 1st Level Feat, Cleave Useful Against Stinky Goblins!

*

Part of it for me with not thinking humans got a rough deal is that single feat puts them a good distance ahead of same class other race characters when it comes to feat trees. Often getting to the higher tiers well before an elf or dwarf would.

And looking at the skill angle, over the course of 20 levels of play that means an extra 20 skill levels to play with. Again, if they focus on a skill, they are going to stay at least on par with any other race and have skill points to spare for complimentary skills or surprise skills. "What do you mean that barbarian picked the lock?"

-Weylin

Barbarian Best Lockpicker There Is! Him Not Take -2 Circumstance Penalty When Him Use Earthbreaker Hammer To Pick Lock! Puny Lock No Match For Krom's Mighty Strengthiness!