Using fire, the Mighty Ones melt a breach in the wall of ice, where they discover the magically cryogenically frozen simulacrum of Humphrey Duke of Gloucester, nude as a newborn babe!
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Approximately one minute after Humphrey falls unconscious, a special wish-enhanced contingency magic teleports all clothing, armor, weapons, jewelry, and other possessions on the Duke of Gloucester's body elsewhere, presumably onto his simulacrum down in the deepest caverns!
Cobra Johann's bite on Humphrey's thigh causes the Duke of Gloucester to scream in pain and lower his guard, stumbling into the Fox's rapid fire punches! He groans and topples to the floor, twitching and gasping before falling still!
Johann's first strike is wildly off target... His second strike sinks his fangs deep into Humphrey's left thigh! YOWCH!! Though blinded, Humphrey leaps aside of Johann's third strike...
LAY THAT BEEFY VENGEANCE ON HUMPHREY, SIR ALPHONSE!! EEEEEEK!! *THWOOOKK!!* The butt of Foereaper cracks the Duke of Gloucester in the forehead! GAAHH!!
Too eager for blood, Tiger Fang flails wildly at the blind Humphrey and misses by inches... WHIFF!
Blinded and profusely bleeding, Humphrey lashes out wildly at Fox and Johann, but with his eyes stitched shut by Mwikali's witchcraft, he misses the shapeshifting duo!
Dazzled, enraged and in pain, Duke Humphrey retaliates against the Fox and Cobra Johann, striking twice at each with his green-glowing falchion...
Shifting five feet to move adjacent to Cobra Johann, Humphrey continues his assault...
Humphrey grunts in shock and pain as the Fox's rapid fire fists crack his ribs!
Hearing Duke of Burgundy fall to the floor, Humphrey chuckles... Heheheh... The Devil take ye, Burgundy! You were a lousy ally anyway... You weasel, Phillip...
Cobra Johann goes from Phillip's hand to Humphrey's left side under the arm! OUCH!! DAMN YOU, BLACK FORESTER!! I have plenty of roasted meats and honeyed mead for you, if you are hungry, sir!
Dazzled and painfully distracted by Mwikali's stitches in his eyelids, Humphrey replies to Sir Alphonse: You have fought hard and bravely for England, Sir Alphonse du Veritas... I should hate to now call you my foe... Ironic as it seems with my eyes stitched shut, you are still largely in the dark, my good knight! You haven't all the information you need to make a sound decision about who you should swear allegiance to... I could enlighten you, if you and your zealous company will stand down and give me a chance to explain... There are greater evils even than the Devil you know, my friend. Together, we might have a chance to stop them... I know dark secrets that would drive lesser men mad!
With heroic will, Mwikali reverses fate's decree and empowers her witchcraft with the might of Mother Africa! The needle and thread persist, and Humphrey's eyelids are stitched shut! AAAAGH!! TREACHERY!!
Humphrey is favored by infernal powers, which ward him now against Mwikali's witchcraft! He dashes aside the magical needle and thread that attempts to sew his eyelids closed with a flourish of his unholy falchion! BAAAHH!! That would have been a bother, indeed, Witch of Africa...
Humphrey of Lancaster smirks at the giant talking cobra and replies: Ah! Splendid! You can only be the ferocious Werebeast of the Black Forest, Johann Kaltgeboren! I should hate to disappoint you... or to underestimate you... Deftly, the Duke of Gloucester retrieves a portion vial from a pouch at his side, unstopps it, and quaffs it in a fluid motion, all the while keeping his eerily green-glowing falchjon on guard against the viper's fangs...
His skin visibly hardens like the bark of an oak tree...
So! These are the Mighty Ones! Crusaders of the Catacombs, Desert Jackals, and Lusty Fools! Old Nero's bane and downfall come at last, just as the bloody seers and prophets said it would be! Marvelous! Marvelous! Hahahaa!! Welcome, old boys and girls! Welcome to our little piece of Hell here on Earth! The Duke of Gloucester grins evilly at the adventurers, apparently relishing this meeting with genuine anticipation...
Heard from the chapel to the northwest: Already!? They have defeated John so quickly... Yes... We shall need devilish aid... We must use the altar bell! Quickly!!
It is well that you have accepted your new condition, brother... But I must admit to revulsion at your mere presence! That is not how I wish to spend my days, if it can be helped... Better to transfer my spirit to a living simulacrum of myself than to endure a mockery of life as you have chosen, no matter what unnatural powers may come along with lichdom... I mean, just look at you, man! Have you looked long in a mirror? No, I suppose you would not, with your nose rotten away to a maggotty hole, and your eyes shriveled to burning coals in black sockets!
Heard from the other side of the black curtain covering the archway in the west wall of the chamber, a voice speaking English with native fluency: Our master has assured us that if we are killed, our spirits will be transported into the simulacrum in the deeper caverns instead of being damned to Hell, and we shall awaken in those bodies with our full memories intact. Let us hope that contingency shall never be necessary. But if the simulacrum are discovered and destroyed, we must be prepared to consider the alternative immortality offered by the elixir...
... as is the Duke of Gloucester, carousing with succubus demons and witches...
Humphrey nods at Alphonse and sighs.... Be warned, Lusty Fools: stronger and crueler mouths will bite harder if you persist in poking this beast you've disturbed.... You may find that going about your usual businesses and leaving this matter to the Church will serve you better.... You are dismissed, Lusty Fools. Godspeed you on your journey. To his men-at-arms: Take the bodies to The Tower at once.
Everyone! Lower your swords.... These men.... Speak truly. I know Iommi-Tyr, son of Magnus, to come from a true and noble house, and the same of House Vertitas.... The very name of your family means Truth, Squire Alphonse.... Humphrey glances at Paddy and nods.... You keep fine company, sir.... Any other group of armed men in this situation would be unarmed and taken to The Tower to stand trial for the murder of Bolingbroke and this Witch of Eye, guilty of black witchcraft though they may be.... Sheathing his sword, Hunphrey nods at Iommi-Tyr.... By the power vested in me as Duke of Gloucester and Regent of England, I do declare Roger Bolingbroke and Marjorie Jourdemaiyne, also known as The Witch of Eye, guilty of black witchcraft, and sentence them to be burnt at the stake until death.... Since they are already dead, their bodies are to be burnt, lest they rise as vengeful undead. Prior to carrying out this sentence, their corpses shall be conveyed to The Tower, where Cardinal Beaufort may use his divinely-granted power to commune with the deceased, that they may be questioned regarding their intents and purposes in worshipping in secret our evil Enemy, The Devil....
Alphonse, full of dread at the sudden shift in Duke Humphrey's disposition to hostility, uses his evil sensing powers on the man.
Humphrey backs quickly to the stairs that lead out of the cellar, blade ready to strike at any who dare try to flee up the stairs past him....
I know not what trickery is afoot.... But I will not be made the fool!!
As this fact dawns on Duke Humphrey, the Lusty Fools attempt to extricate themselves as quickly as possible.... Which unfortunately makes them look even more like a mob of murdering hobos.... Humphrey suddenly changes his attitude toward The Lusty Fools! Sieze these murdering cutthroats! Now, the Lusty Fools stand as outlaws against the throne....
Pardon me for asking, Lord Humphrey, but what exactly will his punishment be? I mean, is there a set sentence or a trial? It might not be the greatest idea to let them fester about. They might have followers that do anything to set them free.....perhaps the powers that be should be notified immediately. They might want to know of these events. They shall receive a fair trial in a court of law, and after their confessions are taken, they will face the fate that all who practice black magic face: they shall be burnt unto death at the stake.
Having received the message born to his manor by the silver raven of Notre Dame, Lord Humphrey arrives with haste to witness what evidence The Lusty Fools have uncovered at the townhouse of Roger Bolingbroke.... His countenance is strangely hard to read as he looks upon the unconscious, bound, and gagged Bolingbroke and The Witch of Eye.... He examines the chapel of Lucifer with a look of distaste on his face.... Frankly, I am not terribly surprised at what you have found here, as it was widely known at Court that Bolingbroke is a student of the magical arts, as is Marjorie Jourdemaiyne, also known as The Witch of Eye. *Sigh!* Fine investigating, Lusty Fools. I shall see that these two face the justice they deserve at The Tower.... Gesturing at the two bound satanists, Humphrey orders the men-at-arms he brought with him (eight well armed and heavily armored soldiers) to take custody of Bolingbroke and The Witch, and imprison them in The Tower, taking care to follow the protocol for securing dangerous spellcasters....
Your secret is safe with me, Master Sverreson. I wish you luck and Godspeed on your further ventures.... And I hope you shall not be led into despair by whatever you discover.... Duke Humphrey bestows a secondary copy of the charter on Iommi-Tyr, and keeps the signed copy....
I sign "Iommi-Tyr Magnusson" instead of my alias "Magnus Sverreson" and hope Gloucester doesn't bother to look at it. But I say nothing unless I'm confronted with it.
Duke Humphrey grins at Iommi-Tyr.... I guess those tales about a sea-nymph whisking you away for a "brief romance" that was really two decades were true, Iommi.... Did you think I wouldn't recognize the Norse philosopher who told such wonderful stories of history and legend to my brothers and me when we were boys?.... I could hardly believe it was you, until I saw how you signed the charter, you mad fox! Heeheeheee!! The Duke claps the Norseman on the back.... Welcome back to England, Iommi-Tyr Magnusson!
Fair enough. The Duke writes up an official charter granting The Lusty Fools who sign their name or make their mark upon it lawful authority to investigate suspiciouns of conspiracy against the crown of England. Henceforth, Duke of Gloucester has deputized The Lusty Fools to investigate charges of treachery, and execute such punishments as they see fit to those found guilty of such charges....
I'll give ye your charter to hunt conspirators, "Sverreson", Alphonse, "Henry", Paddy, "Nacht", and company.... But I'll not give ye my word that you'll like what ye find. Fair enough?
In a sewer tunnel underneath London where we ended the recent Wererat threat. We follow the trail from there and see what we find at the end. I'm going to be frank with you, Lusty Fools, because I like you, and I don't want to play the b&$#!#!% role of noble-talking-down-to-vagabonds with you. You remind me of myself as a lad.... Full of ideals and eager to uphold the right.... Filled with lore from books about King Arthur and the Holy Grail.... There is no Holy Grail in the real world, blokes, let's get that clear, okay?.... All that is a rasher of courtly rubbish.... The problem with the world is not the Black or the White..... It's the Gray, know what I mean?
Duke Humphrey rubs the neatly-trimmed, graying auburn beard on his chin, seemingly considering Tyr's request for a charter of commission to root out suspected conspirators against the crown.... Were I to grant your request, Master Sverreson, where would you begin your investigation?
Forsooth, this news you herald is dire.... A possible traitor in the court?.... A dire allegation to make without substantial evidence, Master.... Sverreson.... Whom would you suspect, if a noble of our own realm?
Seven men-at-arms (including the two bodyguards met in the tavern) stand on guard in the great hall, but Humphrey leads The Lusty Fools into an adjoining den with only his two bodyguards along.... Once all of The Lusty Fools are inside the den, one of the bodyguards closes and bars the door.... Now, there is relative privacy....
After drinking and casual conversation, the Duke welcomes The Lusty Fools back to Greenwich Manor to discuss whatever it is they wish to discuss.... The Duke and his two guards unhitch their horses, mount up, and lead The Lusty Fools on a brisk ride back through The Isle of Dogs, back across the stone bridge spanning the River Thames, and back to Greenwich Manor, where the gatehouse guard opens the outer gate and steps aside, bowing low to the Duke as he rides through.... A green courtyard lies just beyond the outer wall, with a cobbled path leading to the grand front door of the stately manor. Here, a liveried constable and two stable hands await the Duke and his company. Duke Humphrey and his guards dismount, and the constable and stable hands lead their horses to a stable on the side of the manor house proper.... You may leave your horses here.... instructs Duke Humphrey, ....my constable and stable hands shall see that they are well tended.... Come! The Duke leads the way through the front door and into the great hall of Greenwich Manor....
We shall finish slaking our thirsts, and then repair to the manor to hear what you have learned, Lusty Fools! Duke Humphrey calls for the serving wenches to push a nearby table close to his own so the adventurers can join him for drinks.... Once all are seated and a round of drinks has been brought, Duke Humphrey engages Iommi-Tyr, Squire Alphonse, and the other Lusty Fools in casual conversation, asking them about their travels and their encounters with the lycanthropes....
There does seem to be a sense of familiarity in the Duke's expression as he regards Iommi-Tyr.... As if he felt that Tyr looked very familiar, and yet the Duke was having trouble believing that he could be the same young man from 26 years ago....
The Duke nods in approval of this young Norseman's courtesy.... Welcome to Greenwich Village, Lusty Fools! And good show against the werewolves in the south and wererats of London.... They have been a right pestilence on our Blessed Isle for too long now.... I commend you all on your bravery, and will gladly grant the audience you request! Would this matter be more freely spoken of in the privacy of Greenwich Manor?
Nacht slowly raised a gloved finger at being in the middle his voice more than unpleasant to hear, " You... Hump-frey being? " The finely dressed older man regards Nacht with blue eyes that seem to blaze with a keen intellect, perhaps even genius.... With a wave of the hand not holding the golden goblet of wine, the noble gentleman signals his two bodyguards to relax.... I am Humphrey Lancaster: Duke of Gloucester, Earl of Pembroke, and Lord Protector of England.... And you are??....
The other beings seemed stagnant or confused so Nacht decided to move towards this other being to observe closer. The three men at the table Nacht approaches turn their attention to the cowled and cloaked figure, wary looks on their faces.... The finely-attired man clears his throat and takes another sip of wine, while the two armored men-at-arms turn in their seats to face The Beetle Man, setting down their silver mugs of ale....
Humphrey Lancaster, 1st Duke of Gloucester, 1st Earl of Pembroke, and current Lord Protector of England, son of Henry V and uncle of young King Henry VI, currently married to his former mistress, Eleanor Cobham, will likely be found in nearby Greenwich, approximately two leagues (6-and-a-half miles) east and south of London, on the southward loop of the River Thames. He has been here often these past two years since inheriting Greenwich Manor, and when his duties at Court or elsewhere do not occupy him, he is usually busy overseeing the enclosure of Greenwhich and the construction of a mighty palace there. A hero for his valor at Agincourt, where he was wounded and only survived due to the bravery and prowess of his brother, King Henry V (who stood over his prone body and fought off a group of determined French Knights), Duke Humphrey divides his time more or less between acting as Lord Protector of the Realm, crenelating his properties in England, and dallying with mistresses, though he is also known as a studious scholar and outspoken statesman. |