Master Historian

Horatio, Claptrap Writer's page

23 posts. Alias of captain yesterday.


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It was a dark and stormy day...


They can play Your all they want, no idea who Charlie, Ben, or Your is.

Unless you meant You're, but I still don't know who the other two knuckleheads are.


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Woran wrote:
Does Claptrap count?

Maybe...


Sam sowed the soy.


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Why didn't I think of that!


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gran rey de los mono wrote:

!!!OOB

Did I do it right?

Looks right to me.


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But imagine the yarn it'll spin when it arrives!


So it's like a moderately sized Stephen King novel.

Just imagine everyone as a middle-aged washed up alcoholic writer that no one would believe anyway.


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Rysky wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
If they make Lulu sick again, they will suffer Paine.
What if NobodysHome makes NobodysWife sick though, would he get both Lulu and Paine?

Nobodyshome was the chef the entire time!

I didn't see that twist.


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And on and on and on...


It was a dark and stormy night...


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Suddenly, Captain Yesterday realized, all those years ago, the terrible, terrible things he was actually doing to his brothers when he slipped corn into their pockets before they awoke so the geese and ducks would chase them.


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I thought of Drizz't twenty years before that hack Salvatore! but my damn dice kept rolling ones!!!


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You don't understand! It was my grandmother's brother's boyfriend's third cousin's twice removed's farm hand's lucky Nodachi that was given to him by the emperor of funky dew blossoms.

Still no?


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Tacticslion wrote:

From today:

- "Dell Technician" call 1: he spoke with an "old lady" voice who apparently couldn't understand him, and asked continually if he was her grandson.

- "Dell Technician" call 2: he spoke with an "weird" voice that he wanted to speak normally, until he finally identified it as a "female" who demanded he call her "Kitkat" until he hung up.

- "Dell Technician" call 3: he spoke with someone who (apparently) only spoke in Spanish. He responded by speaking in french - no, not French, the Latin language spoken by French people, but colloquial "french" for which many often ask pardon (which is supposed to be a dodge to avoid getting in trouble for swearing around kids). Man, he swore a lot.

Change some things around and you have a classic Letters to Penthouse. You're goin' places kid, ya hear!


See, this guy gets it.


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Redbeard the Scruffy wrote:

In my experience with big cities, Atlanta is literally a hellhole that smells like ass and is literally constantly hotter than Florida somehow, Miami is nice if you literally know where to be but pretty bad otherwise, and DC is a glorious place I would move to if I could literally afford it.

The other major cities I've been in aren't really major, just major for Florida, like Tallahassee, Orlando, and Tampa.

Ftfy :-)


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I've been saying "literally" entirely too much today.

Literally.


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Sharoth wrote:
Of course, Michael Bay's movies are only good because of the explosions. ~grins and runs~

The writing really speaks to me.


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I fixed it!

I'm much happier with the results, it has more flow now and doesn't seem so broken, some real grade A claptrap!


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Celestial Healer wrote:

Some trick-or-treaters had better come. I made John buy about twice as much candy as he wanted to get, and no one has come yet.

At this rate, I'll have to eat a whole bag by myself and then lie about it when he gets home from work, saying we had a bunch of kids come by. Just so I don't have to admit I was wrong.

Even better would be when he gets home he says, enthusiastically "Let's get dinner!"

Man! New York sitcoms write themselves!


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Pats FaWtL on the head, wipes away a single year, eyes gleaming with pride

I'm so proud of you right now!


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That. Was. Beautiful!

You truly are a credit to the profession, you deserve this golden box of Petit fours award more then me.

*sniffles*... so tragic...