Grr. Post got eaten. This was a lot more detailed, but bare with me, please.
After several more hours of reveling in the village, the goblins begin to succumb to fatigue and pass out one by one. The plan to "get" Squealy Nord is interrupted when the Chief calls Spug over and the guards begin laughing at Zurk again when he approaches. Eventually, everyone falls asleep.
The next day, in the late morning long after the sun has come up, the gobos begin to awaken. The Chief himself has a massive hangover, so he retires quickly to his Moot House--Slorb instructs the goblin heroes to go get the fireworks and bring them back to the village.
After about half an hour of walking, you hear a noise in the trees above you. Looking up, you see a hideous sight--two giant spiders coming down on strands of webbing! It must be Lotslegs-Eats-Goblin-Babies-Many (and a mate, apparently). Ready your weapons! (Also, make a DC 12 Will save to avoid crapping yourself and being shaken for a round out of fear.)
Having rolled initiative before the post was eaten, trust me when I give this account, please.
Initiative Order Horsecutta Lotslegs & Mate Other Gobos
Zurk: Who knows? In time, he may be able to be such.
Everyone: I'm going on a trip for the next week or so. I'm going to bring my laptop, but I'll be visiting family and spending time traveling, so I can't promise that I'll be able to post every day. If I can't get on to move things forward, I advise that you take some time being goblins and "getting to know" one another. No eating is about the only rule.
Not sure whether you guys noticed from the bolding in the last post or not (I meant to say something and forgot), but yes, Squealy Nord is a significant NPC with whom you can build a relationship.
Aka's display of fortitude impresses the goblins greatly. They cheer and hoot, praising her "bigbad stomach of hard stuff!" Several attempt to find apples almost as squishy and rotten, gobbling them with much enthusiasm--and vomiting them with much moaning.
Zurk launches a tirade of insults and threats to Gutwad's guards, who seem quite offput and rather afraid. Then Gutwad himself laughs, so the guards nervously laugh along, and the effect of the bugbear's words and size and fearsome appearance is lost in the forced mirth.
Spug gets a shriek and a slap in the face, but he counts himself lucky--he was neither kicked in the loins, nor did Gutwad appear to see his actions.
Meanwhile, Horsecutta(BTW, sorry, I meant to include something on your arrow in the last post, but by the time I remembered it was too late to edit) earns his place in Licktoad history (oral history, of course) with his amazing feat of agility and bravery. Many goblins watch the event and cheer with great shrieks of joy, only to have those screams turn to anger and pain as the swarm comes out. After a lot of splashing the water and waving of fiery sticks, the wasps are driven off and all the goblins hold up Horsecutta, shouting his name in praise.
Next up is Zoog, who dares to face the terror of Squealy Nord, fearsome beast and mascot of the Licktoad Goblins! The great beast relies in his Pit of Squealing Death, where Zoog bravely jumps in to ride his back. Though the creature bucks and jumps and shrieks in anger, waving its great ead with razor teeth threatening to tear the goblin limb from limb, Zoog bravely hangs on for almost half a minute before dismounting with a flourish and climbing out to the roars of the tribe.
Marrowdown tries to tell everyone about how amazing the wonders of nature are and impress them with what he knows, but very quickly the crowd decides that he knows nothing whatsoever about the swamp. "He bigdumb scatterhead?" one child asks. "Yes!" the group shouts, and they leave the barbarian with his bull slug.
Despite just how undeniably goblinGniffles' actions are, and the fact that he impresses the group by finding very nasty slugs and dealing well with the orange one--known to be rancid and spicy--his inability to hold down the slugs keeps him from impressing the crowd too much. Those sprayed with vomit groan and yell and smear the stuff back on the goblin witch, while the others laugh and pat him on the back.
Aka, Horsecutta, Zoog, and Gniffles will get a +1 morale bonus on skill checks during the next bit of the adventure (that is, the part that's normally We Be Goblins). Anyone who hadn't taken a dare would have suffered an equal penalty, but none of you did! You're good for trying. Post once more to wrap up your celebrations--if you have an apple, you'll need to make a DC 8 Fortitude save or be nauseated for the next day. Other than that, have fun!
Finally, after an afternoon of hard work, the bonfire is finished! All the goblins have gathered around as the sun sets, when a blast of a horn is heard. Looking toward the Chief's hut, you see him coming out on the Teeter Chair, which is being carried by four goblins who look to be struggling. A lot. (His name isn't Gutwad for no reason!)
After much heaving, screams from Slorb, and a near catastrophe that almost sent the Chief sprawling in the dust, the goblins set the chair down by the bonfire. The Chief is about to light the object in his hand aflame when Slorb grabs him and whispers in his ear. Gutwad looks confused, then a tad angry, and then pleased. He motions for Ziki to come over and holds up the item in his hand--a small firework from Scribbleface's stash!
"Licktoads!" the Chief booms. Immediately, one goblin keels over from the shock of hearing such a mighty being's voice. Several others investigate, and one pronounces him dead. Shrugging, the Chief (with an annoyed but amused look on his face) gestures for them to throw the body on the pile, and then continues his speech. "You know we burn down house of traitor Scribbleface! He write, very bad, lose all his words. So we burn! We find shootbangburns (fireworks) that help burn, they big and awesome! But now we find way to get even more shootbangburns, and you know who big and awesome? Licktoad heroes is bigbads! They go to find fireworks, kill anything in way, make Licktoad tribe bestest of all, best even than stupid longshanks!"
At this all the goblins go wild and jump and shout and one of them bites another's head. The Chief gestures for Ziki to light the firework ablaze with her magic, and once she does, he holds it out and it fires into the pile, setting it ablaze. The goblins' excitement only increases at this, and it escalates even further when several warriors roll out the Chief's barrel of fermented cider apples. He encourages all of you to take some and calls you names if you do not--the other goblins join in, as the love of the people is very fickle in goblin villages.
As the night goes on, things only get more and more interesting. Several goblins come up to each of the heroes (Read: PCs), who have been pointed out by the Chief and Slorb, as well as the child who called you bigbads. They have vague dares to do something impressive, and won't stop pestering you...
Alright, I'm replacing the Dares listed in the module with a more free-form style of doing this. Each of you that wants to accept the dare needs to make a saving throw or skill or ability to check to prove how skilled and bigbad you are. The DC is 15 for saves, 15 for straight ability checks, or 20 for a skill check. Be aware, though, that the first one to post using a specific save, ability, or skill has it easiest--anyone who posts after them using the same has to best them at their own game, meaning the DC goes up by 5! Every roll needs to be accompanied by flavor text explaining just what you're doing to prove yourself and it needs to have a clear connection to the roll itself.
Due to being incredibly smart, as well as bigbad heroes in the making, just about every goblin is able to find out plenty of information on the swamp and the dangers the group may face on this journey. Everyone but Ziki and Horsecutta can check out the spoilers below.
Brinestump Marsh:
Marsh has lotsgood stuff, with lotsgood places to hide and lotsgood things to eat. Some things poisonous, though, so don't be bigdumb scramblehead. Bestest thing about marsh is that the longlegs don’t come in! They’re afraid of the monsters. Monsters bigbads, but if you know about them before they find out about you, running is good way to live. Lotsbad of monsters, like wild dogs, giant bugs, giant snakes, and giant frogs. Oh, and Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many. And maybe Vorka.
Lotslegs Eats Goblin Babies Many:
Lotsbad giant bugs in swamp, but giant spider Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many (just say “Lotslegs”) is bigbadest! Lives somewhere in the marsh between Licktoad village and coast, and the route that Scribbleface’s map shows leads right through Lotslegs' territory! Very bigbad!
Scribbleface's Map:
Map simple stupid, showing little more than the Licktoad village, old shipwreck on coast that supposedly contains the fireworks, and the creek that runs between here and there. By following creek, you should be able to easily reach the old wreck if you're not bigdumb stupids. But old wreck is also in part of swamp that all Licktoads know is territory of Vorka the cannibal. You know Vorka, right? You not that bigdumb scramblehead.
Vorka:
Vorka the bigbadest bigbad of swamp! She was chief's wife long time ago. She killed and et chieftain, plus other goblins, before she get kicked out of town, long time ago. Now she live alone near coast of swamp, and never come back. All goblins who go there get eaten!
Ziki meanwhile doesn't find out anything about the swamp, but she does get the goblins to promise that she can light the bonfire! And Horsecutta finds a nice spot on the roof of one house where he can watch the gobos slave away at building the fire after being called a bigdumb scramblehead.
While you ask about this, you see all the goblins making big fire. Now it's almost time for the party; you have just enough time to talk to each other and then it'll start!
The Chief grins down at you. "Good! Me knew you good goblins, best of tribe but for me, and maybe but for Slorb. You go do this, you always best goblins of tribe but for me!" Gutwad gestures to his adviser, and Slorb produces the map, drawn on a thin plank of wood, which you can look at. "Now, GO!" the Chief roars, pointing to the door. "Me need get ready for feast, and you need get ready too, for feast and for big job!"
Outside, you notice most of the village's goblins bringing firewood to the spot of the bonfire which will take place tonight along with the feast. One child points at you. "You see Chief! You bigbads!" Another goblin smacks it with a stick to get it going again, but the message is clear--you're already on your way to being village heroes.
There are a few hours until the feast for you to spend; you can make Knowledge (local) checks (even untrained) to find out about the swamp and the mission, or just do some RP and we'll move on to the feast itself. Once everyone's posted, I'll bring you to the bonfire!
Suddenly, in the midst of your introductions--the posturing and discussions of killing and/or burning longshanks are pretty common, all things considered--you hear a nasal whine come out of the moot house. "His Mighty Girthiness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad now offers invitation for the chosen goblins to enter his fine moot house of wonders!" It is the voice of Slorb, Chief Gutwad's duly appointed adviser and speaker (after all, the Chief's own voice is far too great for normal goblins to hear).
Entering the moot house after climbing its ladder, you see the many treasures of the Licktoad tribe decorating the walls. An old rusty longshanks sword with a gem set in the hilt leans against the wall, and with it is a bit of chainmail, one that's often gnawed on by the tribe's goblin dogs (and occasionally its goblins). Several old, dead toads are nailed into the wall by their feet, some spread out, some just hanging by one leg. These are the Toads of Great Gobs, the pets of mighty Licktoad heroes of the past, and every Licktoad hopes to someday have their own toad on this wall. There are also several bits of dogs on the floor or walls, and the tribe's prize possession--the skeletal ribcage and skull of a horse--is displayed next to Chief Gutwad's throne.
Ah, yes, the Teeter Chair--a monstrous contraption, taller than two goblins, which leans precariously but holds up the great Chieftain, His Mighty Girthiness, Rendwattle Gutwad. Grown large from feasting on the fears of the longshanks and the innards of their dogs and horses, Gutwad has his mighty bow on his lap, and he grins down at you. A ghastly sight, to be sure, but one fitting of a great leader! His eye was put out by a kick from a horse, they say, although the blackened scar around the socket might suggest otherwise.
At the foot of the Teeter Chair is Slorb, dressed in his usual tattered, sloppy robes. The adviser bows to you and steps aside.
And then, wonder of wonders and fear of fears, the Chief speaks to you! His voice is booming, much deeper than a usual goblin's pitch.
“You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission.
“You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows route to place near coast where Scribbleface found fireworks. And it says there be more fireworks there!
“I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many
games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet longshanks, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!” (Nord being the fearsome beast and mascot of the Licktoads, who dwells in the Pit of Squealing Death in the village. To be fed to this monstrosity is a terrible fate, indeed.)
A note on NPCs: Some NPCs in the Jade Goblin Adventure Path will be noted as Important NPCs, similar to how some are in the Jade Regent AP. These NPCs will have their names written in bold, either when they are introduced, or when they become available for Relationships. I'll be adapting the rules for Relationships for PbP, but they will be somewhat in use. I'll open the Campaign Info tab with list of Important NPCs and spoilers for each characters Relationships. If you want to start a Relationship, let me know in Discussion, and I'll work with you to get it started!
We be Licktoads, we make raid!
Put the longshanks to the blade!
Burn them up from feet to head,
Make them hurt, then make them dead!
Cut the parents into ham,
Smush the babies into jam!
All the rest in pot get stewed,
We be goblins--YOU BE FOOD!
You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated longshanks-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result. What idiots! Good thing you're not like them.
Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned down his hut. Good fun all around!
But here's where things got interesting! Before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box in the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks--fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from
Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could be your chance to go down in Licktoad history!
And why not? After all, you're big, important goblins! But do you even know who those other goblins around you are? Right now you're outside the Chief's Moot House--His Mighty Girthiness is probably informing his speaker Slorb what to say--so take a chance to tell each other how big and strong you are. Oh, what you look like might not be bad either.
Stop your jibber-jabber, goblins! Finally, the time has come to be recognized for the heroic bigbads you are! The Licktoads are honoring you now with a bonfire! What fun!
As the sun is setting and night falls on the swamp, the preparations are completed, with a huge pile of wood in the center of the village. As you watch, four goblins--who look like they're working very hard--carry out Chief Gutwad seated atop the Teeter Chair, with Slorb walking alongside, yelling and cursing and helping them balance the towering wooden contraption. Eventually, with much shouting from Slorb and the Chief, and a near mishap that almost sends Gutwad sprawling onto the logs, the Teeter Chair is planted on the ground and the goblins step back, looking worn out and relieved.
The Chief now holds up what looks like a small tube of something and all the goblins sound quiet. He's about to speak--to the village! More than one of your fellows looks terrified at the prospect of their head exploding from the Chief's terrible voice.
"Licktoads!" he booms (well, for a goblin, anyway), and at this sound one goblin lets out a small shriek and drops to the earth, dead of shock. Shrugging, Gutwad points, and two goblins pick up the body and toss it on the pile, grinning and chuckling.
"LICKTOADS!" the Chief calls again, louder this time, and leers around, as if looking for another insolent villager to interrupt him. "You know we bigbad tribe in swamp, we best and baddest goblins around!" All the goblins cheer, and the Chief sits back, enjoying the adulation. "And even but we have Scribbleface, who make bad by writing and having words come out his head, we still bad. Now we know to find many bigbad fire-bangs in swamp, and we send bestest goblins--but for me, maybe but for Slorb--to go get! We get fire-bangs, and we burn the longlegs and take their shinies!" All the goblins shriek with excitement again.
The Chief holds up his tube. "This just start! I give you Licktoad bigbads: Aka, Fingernipper, Reta, and Ronk! Other two somewhere, but not know..." The goblins cheer again, and lift you up (unless you object or struggle not to be lifted), only to lose their grips and drop you back to the earth, where they help you up and continue cheering like mad.
Grinning, Chief Gutwad strikes the tube against a stone held up by Slorb, and sparks begin to fly from the end. All the goblins yell as he points it at the bonfire logs, and one by one, small shots of fire blast out into the wood and set it ablaze.
The celebration has begun! The Chief pulls out his barrels of fermented cider apples, and all the goblins begin to dig into these happily, getting drunk quickly (which adds to the hilarity, as you can imagine, of this celebration. By the way, if you help yourself to the apples--and you'll no doubt be mocked if you don't--I'll need a Fortitude save.)
You've got a post each to just being celebrating. Roleplay it up, everybody, and then we'll move on to the next bit of the celebration...
Despite varied abilities when it comes to being nice and general smartness--Reta, Fingernipper, and Poog in particular get called "Bigdumb scramblehead!" more than once--all of the goblins are able to learn about the various dangers of the swamp.
Brinestump Marsh:
Marsh has lotsgood stuff, with lotsgood places to hide and lotsgood things to eat. Some things poisonous, though, so don't be bigdumb scramblehead. Bestest thing about marsh is that the longlegs don’t come in! They’re afraid of the monsters. Monsters bigbads, but if you know about them before they find out about you, running is good way to live. Lotsbad of monsters, like wild dogs, giant bugs, giant snakes, and giant frogs. Oh, and Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many. And maybe Vorka.
Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many:
Lotsbad giant bugs in swamp, but giant spider Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many (just say “Lotslegs”) is bigbadest! Lives somewhere in the marsh between Licktoad village and coast, and the route that Scribbleface’s map shows leads right through Lotslegs' territory! Very bigbad!
Scribbleface’s Map:
Map simple stupid, showing little more than the Licktoad village, old shipwreck on coast that supposedly contains the fireworks, and the creek that runs between here and there. By following creek, you should be able to easily reach the old wreck if you're not bigdumb stupids. But old wreck is also in part of swamp that all Licktoads know is territory of Vorka the cannibal. You know Vorka, right? You not that bigdumb scramblehead
Vorka:
Vorka the bigbadest bigbad of swamp! She was chief's wife long time ago. She killed at et chieftain, plus other goblins, before she get kicked out of town, many goblins ago. Now she live alone near coast of swamp, and never come back. All goblins who go there get eaten!
While you ask about this, you see all the goblins making big fire. Now it's almost time for the party; you have just enough time to talk to each other and then it'll start!
The Chief grins down at you. "Good! Me knew you good goblins, best of tribe but for me, and maybe but for Slorb. You go do this, you always best goblins of tribe but for me!" Gutwad gestures to his adviser, and Slorb produces the map, drawn on a thin plank of wood, which you can look at. "Now, GO!" the Chief roars, pointing to the door. "Me need get ready for feast, and you need get ready too, for feast and for big job!"
Outside, you notice most of the village's goblins bringing firewood to the spot of the bonfire which will take place tonight along with the feast. One child points at you. "You see Chief! You bigbads!" Another goblin smacks it with a stick to get it going again, but the message is clear--you're already on your way to being village heroes.
There are a few hours until the feast for you to spend; you can make Knowledge (local) checks (even untrained) to find out about the swamp and the mission, or just do some RP and we'll move on to the feast itself. Once everyone's posted, I'll bring you to the bonfire!
Suddenly, in the midst of your introductions--the posturing is pretty commonplace--you hear a nasal whine come out of the moot house. "His Mighty Girthiness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad now offers invitation for the chosen goblins to enter his fine moot house of wonders!" It is the voice of Slorb, Chief Gutwad's duly appointed adviser and speaker (after all, the Chief's own voice is far too great for normal goblins to hear).
Entering the moot house after climbing its ladder, you see the many treasures of the Licktoad tribe decorating the walls. An old rusty longshanks sword with a gem set in the hilt leans against the wall, and with it is a bit of chainmail, one that's often gnawed on by the tribe's goblin dogs (and occasionally its goblins). Several old, dead toads are nailed into the wall by their feet, some spread out, some just hanging by one leg. These are the Toads of Great Gobs, the pets of mighty Licktoad heroes of the past, and every Licktoad hopes to someday have their own toad on this wall. There are also several bits of dogs on the floor or walls, and the tribe's prize possession--the skeletal ribcage and skull of a horse--is displayed next to Chief Gutwad's throne.
Ah, yes, the Teeter Chair--a monstrous contraption, taller than two goblins, which leans precariously but holds up the great Chieftain, His Mighty Girthiness, Rendwattle Gutwad. Grown large from feasting on the fears of the longshanks and the innards of their dogs and horses, Gutwad has his mighty bow on his lap, and he grins down at you. A ghastly sight, to be sure, but one fitting of a great leader! His eye was put out by a kick from a horse, they say, although the blackened scar around the socket might suggest otherwise.
At the foot of the Teeter Chair is Slorb, dressed in his usual tattered, sloppy robes. The adviser bows to you and steps aside.
And then, wonder of wonders and fear of fears, the Chief speaks to you! His voice is booming, much deeper than a usual goblin's pitch.
“You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission.
“You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows
route to place near coast where Scribbleface found fireworks. And it says there are more fireworks there!
“I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many
games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!” (Nord being the fearsome beast and mascot of the Licktoads, who dwells in the Pit of Squealing Death in the village.)
One of yous not here. Name Gawg, he witch, shake a bone stick, make noise and magic. Not mighty as me, but still strong. Good to have with. Voice in sky tell me he also know longshanks called "Alex," is a 'burd'--whatever that mean. He no seen for few days, and me want start game. Me try talk to Gawg, he no talk back. Not sure what do, want ask yous.
Yous wants wait for Gawg, or go without Gawg and when he come he go with, or find new goblin instead of Gawg? Could get from other goblins who wanted to go.
Basically, I'm wondering what's up with Brother Spider, who's playing Gawg and Alexander. He hasn't posted anywhere since Thursday, so I'm not sure what's up. What do you guys want to do? We can wait up for him a day or two, move on now and bring him up to speed if/when he gets here, or recruit another person, probably from the recruitment pool. What do you guys think?
We be Licktoads, we make raid!
Put the longshanks to the blade!
Burn them up from feet to head,
Make them hurt, then make them dead!
Cut the parents into ham,
Smush the babies into jam!
All the rest in pot get stewed,
We be goblins--YOU BE FOOD!
You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated longshanks-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result. What idiots! Good thing you're not like them.
Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned down his hut. Good fun all around!
But here's where things got interesting! Before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box in the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks--fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from
Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could be your chance to go down in Licktoad history!
And why not? After all, you're big, important goblins! But do you even know who those other goblins around you are? Right now you're outside the Chief's Moot House--His Mighty Girthiness is probably informing his speaker Slorb what to say--so take a chance to tell each other how big and strong you are. Oh, what you look like might not be bad either.
