Gretcha Cracklebreath's page

Gretcha dances around in a circle, singing something about how wonderful she is, then stops to scratch her backside.

Gretcha hurls another bullet, shrieking various insults.

Sling: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 2 = 5
Damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1

Yeah, disregard that damage roll.

Sling: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (12) + 2 = 14
damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1

Grecha slings another bullet at Vorka, but in her excitement forgets to aim properly.

"Mees second best gobo shooter ever!" Gretcha screams, hurling a sing bullet at Vorka.

Sling: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (16) + 2 = 18
Damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1

"Shoots?" Gretcha looks crestfallen. Her ears droop as she looks at the ground. "Gretcha can't shoots very wells," she says sadly.

"You have plan? Tell me, tell me!" Gretcha yells in excitement, grabbing Glim by the shoulders.

Gretcha wakes herself up with a particularly loud snore, and jumps to her feet, screaming something inchoerent. Seeing no threat, she freezes, then coughs and starts waking everyone else up. "Wakesies wakesies! Wees go kills that nasty gobbo now, yeahs?" She grins, revealing her unusually sharp teeth.

Intelligence: 1d20 ⇒ 2

Yeah, nah. Gretcha thinks we're totally winning and we can handle this 'cos we're the bestest and most super goblins ever.

"Uh, no. No more magic. All out," Gretcha grumbles, shrugging her shoulders in false apology.

If I remember right, I've cast CLW twice, and doom and sun metal once each. No more spells until I rest.

Geetcha screams as Vorka attacks her, jumping backwards. "Hey! Meanie!" she yells, slapping at her wounds. Blue light starts healing her torn flesh.

That hit took me down to 2 hp. Let's see how much I get back...
Cure light wounds: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7
Okay. That helps. Puts me back up to 9.

... skip in and swing her mace at whatever foe she can reach!

Mace: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (12) - 1 = 11
Damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2

Gretcha hops in a small circle, chanting loudly. "Doomydoom and gloomygloom, doomydoom and gloomygloom!"

Casting Doom on Vorka; DC 14 will save, or she's shaken for 1 minute.

Gretcha looks up from the deck, where she sits snacking on something vile from her rations. "What? Wees still fighting?" she screams, then rushes over to the mast and swings her mace at Vorka. "Yous interrupted dindins! You dies now!"

Mace: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (9) - 1 = 8
Damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1

Sorry. Busy week, was checking in on this and forgetting to post. Work leaves me scatterbrained, as primary school kids tend to do...

"More tasty ratties!" Gretcha sings, happily swinging her mace at a nearby rat.

Attack: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (12) - 1 = 11
Damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (4) - 1 = 3

Down 1, puts me at 9. And I have two spells left.

Gretcha screams as she's bitten. "Gretcha dying! Dying!" But still somehow manages to keep swinging her mace.

Mace: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (15) - 1 = 14
Damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1
Miss chance: 1d100 ⇒ 1

HA. Fail.

"I'm gonna kill ya little ratties!" Gretcha shrieks, drawing her mace. She attempts to bash at where the sound seems to be coming from.

Mace: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (10) - 1 = 9
Damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1
Miss chance: 1d100 ⇒ 31

Initiative: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22

Just did. :p

"Don't yous bee forgettings it." Gretcha jabs a finger in Glim's chest, then freezes as the fog fills the air. She screams.

"Me knows this spell! Is bad spell! Is magic fog! Burn it!"

"Never liked Glim much," Gretcha mutters, but she stomps over and tries to heal him anyway.

Cure Light Wounds: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

2 spells left, if I'm counting right.

Gretcha takes one look at the dog, screams, then runs and finds something to hide behind, attempting to shoot it with her sling as she does so.

Attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9
Damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2

"I'm gonna kill a doooooggie! I'm gonna kill a dooooooggie!" Gretcha sings, skipping forward and flinging a sling bullet at the remaining mongrel.

Attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 2 = 15
Damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1

Gretcha panics and throws the hive back over her shoulder. Possibly hitting someone in the process.

Reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20

Suddenly filled with uncharacteristic awesomeness, Gretcha lunges forward and catches the hive with one hand. She stands up, grinning. She looks like she's trying to decide who to throw it at.

Gretcha starts clambering up the gangplank.

Climb: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (6) - 1 = 5

She falls off and starts complaining loudly.

"You was in my way!" Gretcha shrieks back, baring her teeth.

"Horsiehorsiehorsie!" Gretcha screams, seeing the horse charging around. She runs up to it, bleching a gout of fire from her jaws that washes over the horse - and Cruncher as well.

Fire breath revelation. Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 1

Back in the spider's den.

Gretcha giggles at Tindertwig. "You walks funny," she laughs. "Here. Holds thees. You gives them back laters though, yeah?"

Approaching the shipwreck.

Gretcha follows Tindertwig's example, sneaking after him.

Stealth: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (4) + 10 = 14

"I hears doggies. We kills them? We burns them?!"

Gretcha attempts to pick up the coins that fell from her nonexistent pockets, and realizes she can't hold them all. "You!" she shrieks, pointing at Tindertwig. "Yous holds thees for me, yeah?"

Gretcha tries to grab the coins and stuff them in her pockets, before remembering she doesn't have pockets.

I love goblins. Everything goes better with goblins.

Gretcha finds a warm patch in the water and frowns. Then she giggles and continues walking. The warm patch seems to expand.

"We killed Lotslegs! We killed Lotslegs!" Gretcha sings, dancing around in a circle. She then proceeds to bash off one of the legs and start chewing it.

Gretcha draws her mace and holds her free hand over it. The weapon bursts into flame.

"Burnyburn! Time to make spidey burn!" she giggles gleefully.

Casting sun metal and moving into melee range.

Strength: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (20) - 1 = 19

Gretcha managed to rip herself free of the webs and pull out her sling. "Come out, little spidey! Gretcha hungry!"

This is going about as well as you'd expect from a party of goblins, eh?

Initiative: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7
Perception: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (9) + 1 = 10

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!" Gretcha screams, trying to pull away the webs.

"Thanks for showing us wrong way, Glim!" Gretcha chirps. She starts skipping after Tindertwig & Dirtbag. "We follow him! He's good at sneakings and spottings!"

Gretcha gasps, eyes wide, and claps her hands over her mouth in surprise. "You... you wants us to go find fireworks?! Does Chief think we sees Lotslegs?!" She suddenly grins, and throws her fists in the air. "Gretcha find Lotslegs! Gretcha make Lotslegs dead!"

"MORE BOOMS!" Gretcha cries in excitement, skipping around in a circle. "Let me go find booms!"

"Take that, Scribbleface! Drown, drown!" Gretcha sings with murderous glee.

"NO!" Gretcha shrieks. "He not supposed to do that! Bad Scribbleface! Supposed to DROWN!" She pulls out her sling and attempts to hit Scribbleface with a bullet, hopefully causing him enough pain to stop him doing that and just drown already like a good exiled goblin witch.

Attack roll: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22
Crit confirm: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9 (yeah, nope)
Damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2

"Drown the witch! Drown the witch!" Gretcha shrieks in excitement, skipping in a circle until she trips over her cape. "OOF!"

Gretcha runs over to the gathering, her tattered longshanks pants-cape getting tangled around her ankles and tripping her. She gets up and follows a little more carefully. "StankTaint was writing?! Why he do that? He don't like his soul?"

"You teeches me, yes! Teeches me to see things good like you!" Gretcha holds her eyelids open with her fingers like Tindertwig, looking around for bugs and toads.

Perception: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

"TOADIE!" she screams, pouncing on the same rock she'd seen earlier.

"Hows you does that?" Gretcha asks, eyes wide. She snatches at the toad, attempting to grab it out of his hand.

Grapple/disarm/whatever: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (18) - 2 = 16

Gretcha shrieks in delight as she looks around for toads.

Perception: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

"Imma find you toadies!" she screams. "GOTCHA!" she yells, pouncing on a rock that looks nothing like a toad, and licking it frantically.

Gretcha seems to have collected a small pile of leaves, and is setting fire to them one at a time, seeing what burns best.

"Tindertwig!" she shrieks in delight. "Lookit this one! Lookit the burn!" And she shoves one of the larger leaves, which seems to have caught fire particularly nicely, at his face.

Gretcha Cracklebreath giggles as she bounds up to the chief, her earring bracelets jangling. "Gretcha want to fight, too! Gretcha breathe fire on goblin enemies! Gretcha has sees good fightyfight if chief lets Gretcha go!"

I live in Australia, but should be able to post at least once a day.