Anything goes in!
Anything goes out!
Fish, bananas,
Old pyjamas,
Mutton, beef, and trout...!
Hit my snooze alarm
For the 27th time
Just don't feel like goin' to work;
I think I'll call my boss then I'm
Gonna hack and cough and wheeze
Swear I've got some strange disease
What's that little twerp gonna say-ay-ay-AY...?
I'M CALLIN' IN SICK TODAY!
Callin' in sick today!!!
I could shine my pennies and clean my lava lamp
I could spend all day in my underwear watchin' Ernest Goes to Camp
I could sit and count my hair
I could burp my Tupperware
I'm not busy now anyway-ay-ay-AY....
I'M CALLIN' IN SICK TODAY!
Callin' in sick today!!!
Ain't goin' to work, no way!
Callin' in sick today!!!
I can do
Anything I want to!
I am invincible now!
I'm on fire, baby!
I'm alive, I'm alive,
Can you hear me world, I'm ALIVE!
Maybe I'll spend all day starin' at the Sun and tryin' not to squint
Maybe I'll make a huge colored tapestry from my bellybutton lint
When I'm sick of takin' abuse
I'll just make up some lame excuse
Freedom is just seven digits away-ay-ay-AY...!
I'M CALLIN' IN SICK TODAY!
Callin' in sick today!!!
Ain't goin' to work, no way!
Callin' in sick today!!!
“When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers.”
― Kikuyu proverb
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Arrgh, forgot my better half!
Will save #1: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (8) + 1 = 9
Will save #2: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (10) + 1 = 11
Eniac quite visibly shrivels under the baleful power, a horrible sight to see and hear...
spit, melee penalty vs skeleton: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (3) - 2 = 1
...and despite briefly casting an eyestalk at the skeleton nearby before retracting it, simply backs into the corner to pitifully vomit on the floor.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Like a fountain out of some mad groundskeeper's nightmare, Eniac launches another arcing stream of vitriol at the "witch"...
spit: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22
THREAT!: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7
acid damage: 1d8 ⇒ 4
...with eerily mathematical grace, although its trajectory calculations over such a distance likely have room for improvement.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Part of me was hoping broken morningstars lost their teeth or something. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Eniac makes its way to the front.
Double-move - don't forget, DR 5/slashing or piercing (not sure how that works in the case of a weapon with multiple physical damage types)!
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
spit: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20 not sure what modifiers go into spitting at something grappling in melee; I'm aiming for the far side, though
acid damage: 1d8 ⇒ 7
Eniac continues scouring the hound with vile ichor...
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Oxnard Kettlebeak wrote: Seldiir reach up and in his enlarged form is barely able to reach the hound, but his attack muses. Don't you hate it when that happens...?
*Foam...foaaam...burrble...*
spit: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 2 = 19
acid damage: 1d8 ⇒ 7
*...FOOOOOOPH!*
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Eniac calmly slides forth...
spit: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22
THREAT!: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 = 3 \_/
acid damage: 1d8 ⇒ 7
...and *SPLOOOOT*s the monster right in the face!
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Will save: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 1 = 20
...and Eniac rests...well, sluggishly.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
...and Eniac closes in.
tongue (NOT a touch attack): 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13
damage, 1 of which is acid, should that somehow hit: 1d4 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 2 + 1 = 7
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Eniac lurches forward, disgorging another plume of acid...
spit, melee penalty: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (18) - 2 = 16 It's grappling, hopefully that helps
acid damage: 1d8 ⇒ 4
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Eniac leans tentatively over the pit, and...
*eeeeuaggh....*
spit: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7 any elevation-based modifiers?
acid damage: 1d8 ⇒ 4
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Eniac visibly implodes a little as it balks at the floor of the room beyond...
spit: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22
acid damage: 1d8 ⇒ 3
THREAT!: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22 Holy s%!!, where's 'exploding dice' mechanics when you need them?!?
CRITICAL SPIT!: 1d8 ⇒ 6 + 3 = 9
...but in its fear - and, perhaps, a sense of rivalry with the thing across the way??? - it nonetheless manages to disgorge a powerful jet of acid!
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
*Foam...foam...foaaaaammm...*
spit, melee penalty: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (11) - 2 = 9 Is the golem Large-sized? If so, add +4 to that because Eniac can then aim at a section not in melee
acid damage: 1d8 ⇒ 8
*...FOOOOOOMMMMM!*
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
As if that were not enough, Eniac crawls forward to scour the thing with caustic ichor.
spit: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21
acid damage: 1d8 ⇒ 3
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
...and Eniac move up and about to lacerate its flank.
tongue vs Zupper-Ombie: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (17) + 5 = 22
slashing damage plus 1 acid: 1d4 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 2 + 1 = 4
*SSCHLLURRRRRP*
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Eniac boldly (for want of a better word) charges into the hideous chamber and contributes a bit of its own bio-horror...
spit vs creeper: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 = 3
...down a drain set into the masonry just in front of it.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
*foam...FOAAAAMMMMM...*
spit, soft cover vs flatfooted: 1d20 ⇒ 3
*...gurgle.*
I'll hold off on Angrboda's action until the Arcanists' attacks have been resolved.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Eniac gyrates mysteriously in anticipation of what seems is next to come...(Spiritual Guidance on self).
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
...and Eniac, in a rather disturbing display of tactical acumen, moves up to complement Seldiir's position while waving its eyestalks inscrutably about.
Spiritual Guidance on self.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
...after which Eniac lurches back and *SPLOOOT*s again!
spit, melee penalty: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (13) - 2 = 11
acid damage: 1d8 ⇒ 6
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
spit, melee penalty vs fucshia: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (20) - 2 = 18
THREAT!: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (18) - 2 = 16
CRITICAL SPLOOT!: 2d8 ⇒ (3, 4) = 7
...Eniac somehow manages to land a mighty blast of ichor straight inside the armor's helmet-hole!!!
I'm sorry, Seldiir; you just got shown up by a slug.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
spit, melee penalty vs fucshia: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (5) - 2 = 3
Eniac seems more interested in devouring the nearby bench than in helping Seldiir...
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Eniac takes a vicious slurp at the oncoming sergeant before making room for its human companion...
tongue, flank vs Sarge: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (19) + 7 = 26
damage, including 1 acid: 1d4 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 2 + 1 = 6
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Since its attack last turn was rendered unnecessary, can we say Eniac instead spent the round giving itself Spiritual Guidance again?
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
...and faithful, cunning Eniac covers her retreat.
tongue vs Fethi: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (20) + 5 = 25
THREAT!: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6 Of course. >>>_<<<
damage, including 1 acid: 1d4 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 2 + 1 = 4
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a nun-sicle?
tongue vs Fethi: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10
The world may never know.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Eniac gives the nasty nun another vicious slurp...
tongue (no, not a touch attack) vs Fethi: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10
...or is about to, before it decides it would rather slurp at the delicious wall plaster.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
While Eniac rasps at the...thing before it with its vicious radula...
tongue vs whoever/whatever the hell this is in front of me: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (11) + 5 = 16
damage, including 1 acid: 1d4 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 2 + 1 = 4
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Oxnard Kettlebeak wrote: Angrboda casts blessing of fortitude on Tenibri. What about my action?
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
...and Eniac launches a haphazard spout of toxic foam at the hobgoblin before it!
spit (ranged touch attack), soft cover, Spiritual Guidance vs the Blue meanie: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 1 = 12
acid damage: 1d8 ⇒ 4
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
...and strangely enough, her slug seems to know how to help her.
aid Angrboda's Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 13 Just 1 more aid, and we'll manage without needing the time for taking 20!
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
...while her strange companion continues staring down the hallway, building up a head of ominous foam as it waits for the sergeant to re-emerge...
readied spit vs Sarge: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4
...only to just sort of gag it all onto the floor.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
...her slug keeping at her side, ready to strike with its deadly radula.
readied attack with tongue: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6
Unfortunately, it spots a far too inviting patch of mold on the floor at the last second....
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Sitting (for want of a better word) at the tatterdemalion's feet is, of all things, a vibrant blue slug, easily comparable to a human in size. Its eyestalks are just barely level with the plane of the General's desk, and are keenly fixed on the ornamental fruit bowl thereupon.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Eniac discovers a small tide pool at the edge of the cliff, and begins poking its radula into the sea anemones. They're sticky, and grabby!
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Eniac crawls along the edge of the cliff, rasping at the algae as it goes along....
*thhhluuuurp...!*
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Eniac approaches the edge of the cliff, eyestalks straining upward to get a good look at the strange creature, then...
*SPLOOOOOOOT!*
spit (ranged touch attack): 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (14) + 2 = 16
acid damage: 1d8 ⇒ 8
It vomits a powerful jet of toxic ichor!
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
aid Ka'zaak's Strength: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6
...while Eniac just kind of...sits there.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Reflex save: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9
*SCHBLORPPP-SPLOOOSH!*
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
...Eniac crawling alongside her, that strange light still in its eyes.
aid Baltyr's Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (15) + 4 = 19
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hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
aid Ren's Climb check: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (19) + 6 = 25
Climb, take 10: 10 + 6 = 16
...and Ren miraculously finds the vigor to complete his climb in a sudden burst of athleticism when he looks down and sees what's slowly but inexorably coming up behind him.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
...and the slug is clearly a tenacious little bugger.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
Ren Fireblessed wrote: Before I forget...Retrieving a wand from his bandoleer, Ren casts mage armor on himself, then offers it to the others. Ren notices the slug seems to be staring at him again....
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
You suddenly become aware of another sound coming up the gangplank: A long, drawn-out *squish* sound.
After the better part of a minute of this, the source finally makes its way onboard: The biggest, bluest, slug you have ever seen. Its eyestalks scan the breadth of the deck and its passengers with an intense, inscrutable stare before sliding to Angrboda's side.
hermaphrodite Giant Slug Totem Guide 5
*Foam...burbbble..."DAISY...DAAAAIISYYY...."*
*devours a daisy*
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