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Warding themselves with resistance to fire, the Mighty Ones pass through the walls of fire sealing off a cavern to the southwest. Herein, magically cryogenically frozen like the simulacrum of Humphrey lies the simulacrum of Phillip the Good of Burgundy, also naked as the day he was born!
Duke Phillip gurgles and twitches on the chamber floor...
...but he stabilizes rather than bleeding to death...
As Cobra Johann clamps his fanged jaws down on Phillip's hand reaching for the altar bell, Ogon Fox smashes in the Duke of Burgundy's nose with a swift punch, contributing to his loss of consciousness a few seconds later...
I... have lost too much blood... sighs Phillip, pale and woozy... Then the Duke of Burgundy falls to the chamber floor, unconscious!
His hand reaching for the bell deeply pierced by Cobra Johann's fangs, Duke of Burgundy screams in agony! AAACH!! YOU SHAPESHIFTING BASTARD!! I'm glad you aren't really VENOMOUS!!... right??
Seeing the Duke of Burgundy lunging for the altar bell, Lady Ihrin strikes at his exposed side, nearly landing a critical stroke! AAAGH!! MOST UNLADYLIKE, LADY DU DRACUL!! cries the bleeding Duke of Burgundy...
Duke of Burgundy makes a desperate lunge for the summoning bell on the basalt altar, risking attacks of opportunity from both Ogon Fox and Johann...
Do not be so quick to welcome zeez Murderous Vagabonds, once you realize vut zey are capable of... gasps the far more intimidated Duke of Burgundy...
Heard from the chapel to the northwest: We must summon reinforcements, Duke of Gloucester! Your brother has fallen! They will soon be upon us! We must call upon the Devil for aid, before it is too late!
Enough of your brotherly bantering. How can we further safeguard our simulacrum in the event that our master's defenses should fail? Those meddling Crusaders and Jackals and Lusty Fools are notorious for foiling our master's foolproof plans... Hey, did you hear something?
Heard from behind the black curtain, a reply from a different voice, speaking English with a Burgundian accent: Undeath must be preferable to damnation, at any rate... But I shudder to think of the horrific pain involved in dying after drinking that venomous ichor... and then rising as a lich... No. I would much rather we safeguard the simulacrum in some way.
The Duke of Burgundy is in attendance at Hexennacht, reveling and intoxicated, fornicating with the witches and succubus demons...
In Burgundy, Philip the Good has been anything but, handing over the Maid of Orleans to the English to be burnt at the stake as a witch some six years ago...arranging the assassinations of his political rivals...secretly fomenting antisemitism among the peasants and quelling the resulting revolts with brutal force... Some suspect that Philip is a high ranking member of the Church of Lucifer, and that he was involved with a treasonous plot of witchcraft against young English King Henry VI which was uncovered a few years ago by the Lucky Fools... Though the king's uncle's, the dukes of Bedford and Gloucester, were also implicated in this plot, along with the Witch of Eye and Roger Bolingbroke, the powerful nobles were able to escape justice, while Marjorie Jourdamayne, the "Witch of Eye", was burnt at the stake...
Duke Phillip commissions the famed artist, Jan Van Eyck, to paint a group portrait of His Lordship posing with The Lusty Fools before the portals of Notre Dame de Paris. It is entitled "Phillip the Good and The Lusty Fools".
Let us drink to the success of The Lusty Fools! The bravest, most foolhardy band of gallants of our age! Death to Nero! Death to the Beast! Death to the Devil! Viva la France! Viva la Europa! Duke Phillip raises his jeweled goblet of wine in a heartfelt toast to The Lusty Fools!
Duke Phiilip the Good nods in agreement with Archbishop of Reims, and all of the armored and armed Knights of the Golden Fleece and Paladins of Reims raise their swords in salute to their Dauphin.... Your Majesty, it will be our glorious honor to restore you to your proper seat on the throne of France! To Reims! For God and King! Let us smite these satanic conspirators and purge the lands of Europa of the Devil's evil taint!
Your Chinaman seems agitated.... I suspect he worries about your lack of subtlety in this delicate matter.... I must agree with him.... We should travel swiftly and incognito, if at all possible....
Hmmm.... It has a bolder ring to it than my Knights of the Golden Fleece, even.... I would wear the moniker with pride, were I you, Lusty Fools.... Far better than "The Lusty Fools"! Ha ha ha! That name describes the mass of mankind, rather than a band of heroes!
Lead on, then, Knights of Armaggedon! commands the Duke of Burgundy.... He shrugs and grins at Iommi-Tyr.... You know, I have kept this to myself.... But I favor the young King Henry as rightful ruler of France, myself.... It was me and my men who captured the Maid of Orleans, and handed her over to England to be tried for her witchcraft against the true monarchy....
Duke Phillip then confers briefly with the Archbishop before turning back to address The Lusty Fools again: We shall grant you a chance to prove beyond a doubt that the man you rescued from the catacombs is indeed the true Charles VII, and the man on the throne is an imposter. You say the true Dauphin is waiting for your return to Notre Dame de Paris.... Prove it, Lusty Fools. We shall accompany you to Paris, and none of you is to leave our sight until we are satisfied of the veracity of your shocking claim. If you prove truthful, we shall then return here to Reims and execute the pretender for his crimes! Let us make haste to Paris! Have you steeds for the journey? If not, we shall provide them....
Indeed, agrees Duke Phillip. If it is discovered that this man you found in the catacombs under Paris is, in fact, our true and rightful Dauphin, then you shall have our thanks, and our assistance in removing the pretender you claim is currently impersonating the Dauphin.... But if we find that he is not the true Dauphin, and, in fact, the one you claim is an imposter is actually our true Dauphin.... You shall be guilty of high treason against the throne of France, a crime punishable by death....
Verily! What is this all about? |
