[dice=Perception to overhear the Archbishop and his little christian do-boys]1d20 +7
[dice=Sense Motive if Philip sounds concerned that the Dauphin may be an impostor or if the fact that the Dauphin IS an impostor may be revealed]1d20 +14 +1d6
Iommi fails to overhear the Archbishop and his cardinals....
But he feels confident that Duke Phillip is concerned that there might be an imposter on the throne of France.... It doesn't feel like he's hiding anything....
[dice=perception] 1d20+21Paddy strains his hearing to see what the Archbishop says to his men.
Paddy manages to overhear the clerics' whisperings with his keen tiefling ears: the Archbishop suggests to the two cardinals that divine divination magic be used to ascertain the veracity of The Lusty Fools' claim, and they both agree that it is the only way to be sure....
Duke Phillip then confers briefly with the Archbishop before turning back to address The Lusty Fools again:
We shall grant you a chance to prove beyond a doubt that the man you rescued from the catacombs is indeed the true Charles VII, and the man on the throne is an imposter. You say the true Dauphin is waiting for your return to Notre Dame de Paris.... Prove it, Lusty Fools. We shall accompany you to Paris, and none of you is to leave our sight until we are satisfied of the veracity of your shocking claim. If you prove truthful, we shall then return here to Reims and execute the pretender for his crimes! Let us make haste to Paris! Have you steeds for the journey? If not, we shall provide them....
Agreed!
We shall go to Paris, retrieve the rightful Dauphin, prove the truth and execute the impostor.
I beg you, do not send word ahead lest the impostor be aware of our intent. He knows of us; of course, that is why he is trying to prevent our return.
If you think he does know you are coming with us and there is no way to avoid that -- maybe send word that you have us in custody and are ignoring our "lies."
Nonchalantly, Paddy adds, with a wry smirk
You could always use some sort of magic to make sure we are telling the truth...it is one way to make sure we are telling the truth.
Nonchalantly, Paddy adds, with a wry smirk
You could always use some sort of magic to make sure we are telling the truth...it is one way to make sure we are telling the truth.
That you would willingly subject yourselves to magical interrogation and even suggest it yourselves speaks well to your sincerity, Lusty Fools. I would christen thee by a more noble name: The Knights of Armaggedon! .... This name comes suddenly to me, as if whispered into my ear by an Angel!
Archbishop of Reims smiles at Paddy, and then at Alphonse, with a curious expression of pride and awe....
Turning to Duke Phillip the Good: My Lord, I feel in my heart that these men are truthful, honorable, and brave.... They have the best interests of France, and indeed, of Christendom, in the forefront of their endeavors.... God's angels often speak to me, My Lord.... They speak to me now. We can put our faith in these Knights of Armaggedon.... Or Lusty Fools, if you prefer....
Lead on, then, Knights of Armaggedon! commands the Duke of Burgundy....
He shrugs and grins at Iommi-Tyr....
You know, I have kept this to myself.... But I favor the young King Henry as rightful ruler of France, myself.... It was me and my men who captured the Maid of Orleans, and handed her over to England to be tried for her witchcraft against the true monarchy....
"Apologies, Archbishop, but doesn't that name imply WE are the ones who will bring about the End of Days?"
"Apologies, Archbishop, but doesn't that name imply WE are the ones who will bring about the End of Days?"
Aye, indeed! Your actions and your adventures are intrinsically linked to the End of Days, Monsieurs! Like it or not, you are the Knights of Armaggedon!
The archbishop seems somehow amused by this....
Hmmm.... It has a bolder ring to it than my Knights of the Golden Fleece, even.... I would wear the moniker with pride, were I you, Lusty Fools.... Far better than "The Lusty Fools"! Ha ha ha! That name describes the mass of mankind, rather than a band of heroes!
And so, accompanied by no less than the Archbishop of Reims and the Duke of Burgundy, The Knights of Armaggedon ride for Notre Dame de Paris, galloping through dust and sunlight in the early summer of 1430 CE!
Naze wareware dake dakedenaku, wareware wa sore o s~$$e iru ma watashitachi no ōkina teki watashitachi ga dono yōnimieru ka no ki hanga o sōshin shimasen. Hisao mutters to himself a bit disgusted at all this swanning around like they were a bunch of self important Samurai. This was certainly not the ninja way.
Your Chinaman seems agitated.... I suspect he worries about your lack of subtlety in this delicate matter.... I must agree with him.... We should travel swiftly and incognito, if at all possible....
Arriving at Paris by dusk, The Knights of Armaggedon/Lusty Fools are reunited with Father Renaud and the true Charles VII. Charles dismisses his magical disguise as acolyte (provided by the hat of disguise given to him by The Lusty Fools) when he sees the Archbishop de Reims and the Duke de Burgundy in his presence.
Oui! It is we, your true Lord and King, Charles Valois! We were imprisoned in a dungeon below Notre Dame de Paris and replaced on the throne with a doppelgänger, a monster capable of mimicking our appearance! This disgusting travesty now sullies our throne in Reims, placed there by the diabolical machinations of a world-wide cult of Lucifer, the Devil, in cooperation with The Beast of the Apocalypse, Conflagratius, the ancient red dragon from Mercury.... Which now resides in Mount Vesuvius, it's evil festering like an infected wound! This is the work of Lucifer, the archdevil, but also of Nero, once the Emperor of Rome.... Nero is the Antichrist, and he plans to bring Armaggedon upon the world of men this very winter! Only the bravery of good men such as yourselves can turn things a right!
Archbishop of Reims casts zone of truth and has the Dauphin repeat his tale....
This is our true Dauphin, Monsieurs. Let us avenge His Majesty at once!
Duke Phiilip the Good nods in agreement with Archbishop of Reims, and all of the armored and armed Knights of the Golden Fleece and Paladins of Reims raise their swords in salute to their Dauphin....
Your Majesty, it will be our glorious honor to restore you to your proper seat on the throne of France! To Reims! For God and King! Let us smite these satanic conspirators and purge the lands of Europa of the Devil's evil taint!
{b] Finally! Someone who agrees that we should kill the bad guys!! Outstanding!! Let's be on our way quickly, before word gets back to the pretender and he either gets away or sets up a trap. And, my dear Duke, I like the name Lusty Fools...it is somewhat fitting...well, to me at least....the rest, not so much. Allons-y! We have evil to smite! And then we shall celebrate! Haha![/b]
Yes, let us kill the Doppelganger and put the true Dauphin on the Throne -- to keep it warm for the rightful King of France, Henry VI -- once he comes of age.
Lord Philip and you, Archbishop Christian, if you tell the honorable Royal Guard that the man they guard is an impostor while we kill the Doppelganger it will help insure that innocent men are not killed.
Remember, we don't want to kill good men and women who are just trying to defend what they think is the Dauphin!
Seeing everybody start shouting and running around with righteous proclamations Hisao says Much disturbance, good for infiltration of throne.
Yeah, I don't think this is infiltration. This is a Duke and a High Priest charging with several dozen soldiers plus us and, you know, The Dauphin.
Subtlety is not needed here, righteous attack is.
The false Dauphin is taken by surprise. Hisao the ninja deals the killing blow, slicing the doppelgänger's neck open in open combat, but the long and short of it is that the true Dauphin is restored to the throne of France, and the Lusty Fools / Knights of Armaggedon are proven to be true heroes of Europe! Statues are sculpted by master artists, and songs composed by master bards, insuring the Lusty Fools' place in history as great heroes!
The Dauphin Charles awards the heroes with 5,000 gp worth of gear or upgrades per PC!
We search for evidence of any relationship between the Doppelganger and Conflagratious.
We also take a close look at the royal decrees since the time of the false Dauphin to try to determine what his goals were, if he was moving armies or moneys or powerful individuals to or from different places or giving any unusual orders.
We also look at his correspondence with other European leaders; who has he been writing and what is in those letters.
Finally, I publicly thank Duke Burgundy for his assistance in restoring the Dauphin and, equally publicly, honor the Dauphin on the Throne by mentioning he will do well until Henry VI comes of age -- and I hope we will be invited to King Henry's official coronation scheduled for a few months from now.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Finally, I see if Prince Charles will sponsor my getting some armor for my continuing battles against evil with the other Lusty Fools. I was nearly killed by werewolves recently and, prior to that had never gotten worse than a cut from shaving or a stubbed toe while walking on a cold floor at night looking for the privy.
A magically forged Mithral Kilt (like from home) and Chain Shirt would see me through our upcoming struggle against The Anti Christ and Conflagratious.
I see Mike posted treasure while I was typing.
Iommi-Tyr Magnusson, while in Paris studying at the royal & clerical libraries over the next several days, sends word to Norway to the great blacksmith, Leif Olafsson, to make a special order Mithral Kilt & Chainshirt. (I also have just enough left over to buy a replacement potion of Gaseous Form).
The false Dauphin is taken by surprise. Hisao the ninja deals the killing blow, slicing the doppelgänger's neck open in open combat, but the long and short of it is that the true Dauphin is restored to the throne of France, and the Lusty Fools / Knights of Armaggedon are proven to be true heroes of Europe! Statues are sculpted by master artists, and songs composed by master bards, insuring the Lusty Fools' place in history as great heroes!
The false Dauphin is taken by surprise.
.
.
Yep, I'm that good.
....And now I have a Kilt.
And it's mithral.
Alphonse pays his respects to the Duke and Archbishop, and of course the Dauphin.
"Thank you for your aid, My Grace, Archbishop." he addresses the first pair "And your generosity, Your Majesty" he says as he turns to the latter.
"I am just happy I could be of service. I hope your time in the church was not too onerous?"
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Alphonse will sell off some of his old gear he'd stashed here in Paris.
Alphonse finds someone who can enchant his belt to improve his physical strength as well as his hardy constitution.
The Dauphin is truly grateful to the Lusty Fools for restoring him to his throne, and offers to knight each of them, as well as offering small tracts of land in Gascony, Burgundy, Normandy, Brittany, and on Isle-de-la-Cite in Paris, to be assigned as the heroes see fit.
No less a personage than Nicolas Flamel agrees to take Alphonse's commission to upgrade his magic belt with enhancements that make it a belt of physical might.... As a personal thank you to Alphonse for his bold deeds on behalf of France, he enchants the belt using his very own Philosopher's Stone, a potent artifact created by the legendary alchemist....
At a feast thrown on the 30th of June by the Dauphin at the Royal Palace in Paris in honor of The Lusty Fools, Knights of Armaggedon....
I would normally charge a king's ransom for each such an item of magical power.... But if you Lusty Fools truly intend to forestall Armaggedon by slaying either The Beast Conflagratius, The Anti-Christ Nero, or Satan Himself.... Then you are heroes braver than any this world has seen since the days of classical antiquity. You deserve a place in the constellations beside Andromeda and Orion! You are heroes on par with Jason and the Argonauts, Theseus who slew the First Minotaur, and the demigod Heracles! I will be honored to gird you for the battles ahead of you, with armaments not seen outside the forge of Hephaestus!
Overhearing this generous offer, Charles VII adds:
We are indeed blessed to have so formidable a master craftsman in our service, Master Flamel. Know that the fortunes of your house will ever rise as those of the House of Valois ascend! Now, drink! Drink your fill of this fine Burgundian wine!
Let us drink to the success of The Lusty Fools! The bravest, most foolhardy band of gallants of our age! Death to Nero! Death to the Beast! Death to the Devil! Viva la France! Viva la Europa!
Duke Phillip raises his jeweled goblet of wine in a heartfelt toast to The Lusty Fools!
At a feast thrown on the 30th of June by the Dauphin at the Royal Palace in Paris in honor of The Lusty Fools, Knights of Armaggedon....
[b]I would normally charge a king's ransom for each such an item of magical power....
Duke Phillip commissions the famed artist, Jan Van Eyck, to paint a group portrait of His Lordship posing with The Lusty Fools before the portals of Notre Dame de Paris. It is entitled "Phillip the Good and The Lusty Fools".
Well,I am not one to turn down a good drink...Salut!
Paddy takes a sip of his wine.
You are most kind, Highness...we shall do our best to rid the world of this scourge...after all..I have plans. Not the grandest of plans, but enough for me.
That very night, many leagues away in the smoky cavern within Mount Vesuvius where the ancient red dragon Conflagratius lairs, an imp flies down through the great caldera entrance to where the huge dragon lies coiled atop its massive hoard of treasure....
In Infernal to the dragon: Great and mighty Beast of the Apocalypse, I bring grievous news! The doppelgänger Gauser, who was impersonating the Dauphin of France as per your ingenious plan, has been revealed for what it was and put to the sword by a band of meddlesome heroes--the very same who killed our agent Pierre the Necromancer of Notre Dame de Paris! The Lusty Fools, they are called.... Also, the Knights of Armaggedon.... They are currently in Reims, celebrating their victory with the true Dauphin, the Archbishop of Reims, and Duke of Burgundy!
In Infernal: France shall suffer for harboring these Lusty Fools! Her fields and towns shall burn! Paris shall burn!!!
Rearing its great head and beating it's great wings, the Beast fills even the imp's evil heart with terror! Coins whirl about the cavern, caught up in the whirlwinds created by the dragon's wings!
Bowing fearfully, Nettlewelt the imp retreats from the cavern as quickly as its little wings will carry it!
.
The Great Holocaust of France that occurred in the early Summer of 1430 CE would, in later, more skeptical times, be misattributed by revisionist historians to arson committed by an obscure occult terrorist organization led by several cardinals and priests found to be Satanists working for the interests of England in the Hundred Years War. In truth, it was the result of The Beast's wrath at The Lusty Fools' daring escapades!
On the night of July 2nd, France was blasted by the fire dragon's lethal breath, setting rooftops in Paris, Reims, and Calais afire! The fields around those cities also withered in the dragon's fire, resulting in the French Famine of 1430, again misattributed in later years by revisionists to arson....
When word reaches them:
"Damned Beast! If I could reach it I'd strike it down right now!"
As the Lusty Fools climb ever higher into the French Alps south of Paris and Reims, on their way over the Alps to Italy, on the 3rd of July, 1430, they are troubled by the sight of plumes of smoke in the distance marking the sites of Paris and Reims....
They try to tell themselves that the dark plumes of smoke are the normal output of the accumulated chimneys of the great cities.... But they know better in their hearts....
Their fears are confirmed by a chance meeting on the morning of the 4th of July with a talking Pegasus named Bellerephon, drinking from a mountain stream. Bellerephon sadly informs The Lusty Fools that the man-cities are on fire down to the north, caused by the red dragon Conflagratius. The old Pegasus bids the party to be cautious in their travels through the Alps, as the dragon is fond of visiting these lofty peaks!
They look like tasty sorts.... thought Einar the frost giant as he spied first the tracks, and then the makers of those tracks on the snowy alpine pass through the French Alps....
Might need a bit of tenderizing with avalanches and boulders, and whatnot....