Dork Smurf's page

39 posts. Alias of Ravingdork.


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I heard that Battle Medicine, Treat Wounds, and Grapple don't have any ranges listed.

Is that true? Can I really use these abilities from across a room? If so, then that's totally smurfed up.


graystone wrote:
My question would be, what exactly are attacking your pants and what are they attacking them with that you're posting about it? ;)

My Dromaar girlfriend of course. (She's REALLY smurfing strong!)


Protection cast at 3rd-rank makes a circle of protection around the target, allowing others within the circle to be protected as well. ;P

(smurf)


The Raven Black wrote:

Just realized I need to create an Awakened dog Investigator.

Who enjoys eating a lot.

"Take a bite out of crime!"

Spoiler:
Dork Smurf out.


"We designed these maneuverability aids to emulate your natural land-flop gate."

"Smurf that! I want the ones the humans are using."

"You can't have those."


TheTownsend wrote:
Dork Smurf wrote:

The time has finally come for my dream to come to smurfing fruition!

I get to play my awakened carp juggler!

(He flops about knocking everything into the air.)

A devoted follower of Jin Li!

…I don't know why this post has a smurf avatar…

Sorry. I've been feeling a little blue this week. I may be a little bit contagious. I wouldn't worry though; Doc says it will clear up soon.


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The time has finally come for my dream to come to smurfing fruition!

I get to play my awakened carp juggler!

(He flops about knocking everything into the air.)


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Sanityfaerie wrote:
graystone wrote:
It does make me wonder how many breathe weapons a 1/2 Dragon Kobold Dragon Instinct Barbarian multiclass Wyrmblessed Sorcerer can get...

...and you could qualify for Dragon Disciple three times.

...though as far as breath weapons go, it's redundant with Wyrmblessed. Sadness.

You can NEVER have too much dragon!


LOL. I mistook this book for the Character Guide.
I was expecting there to be a lot more crunch.


Farien wrote:
Ravingdork wrote:
Probably should have said "unlike me." I was intending to imply that I do own a 1-sided die.
Marbles are becoming harder to find these days. Good to know you haven't lost yours yet.

Not all of them anyways.


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Zaister wrote:
You all do know that Player Core 2 is still coming, right?

*Sticks head out from under rock.*

What's that?


Congratulations! It's twins!


Ectar wrote:
Qaianna wrote:
Now I wonder ... at what point is something not an improvised weapon for throwing purposes? A gridiron football evolved its shape from rounder balls due to the forward pass, I thought, so would that change things?

New Item:

Fling Vial Item 1
5gp
Consumable
This particularly aerodynamic vial is designed to be thrown. A filled Fling Vial does not count as an improved thrown weapon when thrown to an ally and increases the vial's range increment to 20ft. The Fling Vial is fragile and loses its aerodynamic properties after its contents is consumed. Due to its flexible nature, it can be crafted by anyone with either the Alchemical Crafting feat or Magical Crafting feat, gaining the Alchemical trait or Magical trait, respectively. The creator chooses which trait it gets, if they possess both feats.

So...water balloons?


What are some smurfing good kineticist combos that pair well with another kineticist (of the same or different element(s)) in the party?

For example, two phytokineticists using protector tree (which arguably doesn’t protect the caster) to protect one another, or spamming the battlefield with a smurf load of berms to create elaborate death tunnels and the like.

If you got to play two kineticists, or coordinate with another kineticist player, what might your smurfy ideas be?


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Champion: "Yeesh, what a terrible curse! I'm so sorry my friend."

Anadi: "I haven't transformed yet. This is my natural form...friend."


I've always said "may gus."

I've heard "may jus" a few times if you can smurfing believe it, but that's just silly talk.


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New page every 50 posts.
Edit option denied after 1st hour of posting.
Text formatting options detailed in drop-down beneath post window.
If you say smurf, you get smurfed.

Open secrets of the Paizo boards.


Maybe if everyone was intelligent enough to hide under rocks like me, then no one would die.


Gisher wrote:
Ravingdork wrote:
Gisher wrote:
Ravingdork wrote:
How can undead that functionally lack blood (and thus any sort of bloodline), such as skeletons, retain their sorcerer abilities and the like?
Lack of blood doesn't seem to be a problem for sorcerers who are Androids, Automata, Conrasu, Leshies, Poppets, etc. The use of the term "blood" in the sorcerer description is clearly being used metaphorically.
That's not the way it reads to me, but I'm totally fine with that. Is there anything in the rules that calls it out specifically/more clearly?
How can it be meant literally if all of those bloodless ancestries can be sorcerers?

Because the Book of the Dead hasn't been released yet to clarify those particulars.

Spoiler:
Smurf


PossibleCabbage wrote:
I'm feeling like in terms of overall best, it's going to be hard to beat the Fighter, the Champion, and the Monk since they just have numerical advantages other classes can't meet. Since "hits more than they do" and "gets hit less than they do" are the two most important things in a swordfight.

Oh my smurf, the the solution is SO simple. We just need to do both!


The best swordsman is the one that wins you the smurfing game.


Here's your smurfing qualifications:
- Must be an expert in the cut, slash, and stab.
- Must have no mortal equal in the above.


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The obvious thing to do would be for the dragon to spend an action to hover, then spend their remaining two actions to ready an action to abort their fall when they take a flail crit to their sensitive bits...EVERY. SMURFING. ROUND.

Clearly, the only alternative is to

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⬇️
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☠⚰


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Vardoc Bloodstone wrote:

With respect to your initial query Ravingdork, player death is the one and only time that I allow take-backs.

My players don’t die often, but when they do, we normally stop the game and go over character sheets, prior turns, double-check math, etc. After that, well, we all agree on a final ruling (dead).

Kinda like how the NFL automatically reviews all plays in the end zone.

What? Why!? Call an ambulance for smurf's sake!

How could someone be so heartless as to talk about character sheets, rules, and math while their fellow player lay dying in front of them!?


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nick1wasd wrote:
Also there's a grippli PC in the game I run...he's a healer who wears this itty bitty white cloak, and the mini is the cutest thing I've ever seen!

You smurfing tease. Pics! Pics!


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Smurfs pwn all!!!


Captain Morgan wrote:
Yeah, Aid uses a reaction and only applies to a single roll, so I have no idea what is happening there.

I got it in my head that it was the recipient who used the reaction and the aider who used the single action.

That would allow three aid attempts a round and allow for the aider to keep their reaction, which I now realize is wrong.

I still think it an incredibly powerful combo since it can grant a +3 bonus to any attack or skill check as early as 7th-level (which I don't consider high level). That means such a character can cast a devastating spell (perhaps a debuff) and follow up by giving the fighter a +3 to attack, practically guaranteeing a critical. At 9th-level, you can'tever fail to Aid. At any level, you can use one skill for ANY attack or skill check, even if you're untrained in said check. Furthermore, insofar as I can tell, it works out to 30 foot range within earshot, unlike regular Aid, which is potentially more limited. For example, to help someone climbing, you can simply shout encouragement from the ground, rather than being on the wall yourself helping with the ropes.

Even when using the corrected mechanics, that's a huge mathematical swing by any measure.

And although it's true that this can be done without Free Archetypes, I can't think of a reason why someone wouldn't do this in such a game. It's that good.

Edit: I understand you need a critical success, or else it's a +1, but the base DC is usually only 20 (30 for the crit success). A 7th-level Charisma-based character could have a +23 Diplomacy modifier to Aid pretty easily.

7 level
6 master
4 Charisma mod
4 Cooperative Nature
2 Cooperative Blade
=
23

And that still leaves room for a status bonus.

Edit 2: A halfling raised by humans could be granting a +4 with Helpful Halfling rather than a +3, though it would come online a little later. (Though this, I admit, is getting a fair ways out into the reeds of optimizing at that point.)

Edit 3: WTS! (What the smurf)

A bard really does do it a whole lot better (though only with skills). Is there anything they can't do?


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TiwazBlackhand wrote:

Ahhh who cares about dragons? Time to introduce Kender to Golorian!

Oh smurf no!


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Why are the smurfing guards shooting every critter that crosses their path? Surely a populated area has anti-crossbow/bow laws in place. What if an errant shot hit a person? Crossbows are known for their penetration as well. What if it went through the fox and hit someone's child?

Think of the children! Contact your local lord today and push for more crossbow-control edicts!

.
.
.

;P


If I died and were reincarnated as an isekai character in a fantasy realm, it would probably be Golarion.

There's just so many smurfing types of areas to explore, all with their unique themes, I would never truly get bored. XD


More Stealth Errata?

The Calikang statblock in the Bestiary III (p.42) differs from that on the Archives of Nethys. I've highlighted the differences below in Smurf blood.

DEFENSIVE STANCE
B3: No such ability.

AoN: A calikang gains a circumstance bonus to its AC equal to the number of its hands that aren’t wielding weapons, to a maximum of +4 (this bonus is already factored into this calikang’s stats).

SIXFOLD FLURRY
B3: The calikang makes up to two longsword Strikes and up to four fist Strikes. Each Strike must be against a different target. These attacks count toward the calikang’s multiple attack penalty, which doesn’t increase until after all the attacks are complete. For 1 round, the calikang gains a circumstance bonus to their AC equal to the number of Strikes they choose not to take, to a maximum of +4 for taking only two Strikes.

AoN: The calikang makes up to six fist Strikes. Each Strike can be against a different target. These attacks count toward its multiple attack penalty, which doesn’t increase until after all the attacks are complete.

SUSPENDED ANIMATION
B3: By concentrating for 5 minutes, the calikang can enter a state of suspended animation, freezing in place and becoming motionless but remaining aware of their surroundings. While in this state, the calikang gains a +4 status bonus to Fortitude saves; doesn’t age; and is immune to disease, inhaled toxins, poison, starvation, and thirst. The calikang can exit suspended animation as a free action. If they exit this state to attack, the calikang gains a +2 circumstance bonus to their initiative roll.

AoN: By spending 5 minutes concentrating, the calikang can enter a state of suspended animation, freezing in place and becoming motionless but remaining aware of its surroundings. While in this state, the calikang gains a +4 status bonus to all Fortitude saves, does not age, and is immune to disease, inhaled toxins, poison, starvation, and thirst. The calikang can exit suspended animation as a free action. If it exits this state to attack, the calikang gains a +4 circumstance bonus to its initiative roll.

Perception and AC values differ as well.


Oh smurf it.

XD


Some classes, like alchemists, gunslingers, and kineticists, effectively have a +20 bonus to hit built into their class. It's called "touch attacks," and it's essentially why they never really miss.

You should have to pay 400,000gp just to play one of those classes! It's the only way to keep the holy balance. Lol.

:P


If I never reloaded my gun, I'd never have a smurfing chance to impress the ladies.

Tosses several rounds into the air from one hand, spins the gun out of the holster with the other, catching the rounds in the appropriate chambers before snapping the gun back up into a combat-ready position.


Surely you lot can do a whole lot smurfing better than that! Bring it the smurf on!


Owen K. C. Stephens wrote:
A skittermander could theoretically get 2 cyberlimbs and carry 4 automatic weapons...

Or a lot smurphing more with powered armor mounts! :D


Haha. I didn't read all the way to the bottom of the autofire ability description.

Apparently it takes the same penalties as full attacking.

I've been doing it wrong it would seem.

Man, autofire really sucks.


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I've seen well over ten threads today each with multiple posts filled with non-functional links that I can't click, and I'm smurfing tired of it.

To make a functional link, all you have to do is type the following without spaces:

[ u r l = Place URL here ] The text you want to display [ / u r l ]

Again, you should exclude the spaces.

If it works, it will look like this: Paizo Inc.

If you don't understand my instructions, please click the "Show" button next to "How to format your text" right below the Submit Post dialog screen. They have some pretty useful info there on how to do all kinds of neat things.

I hope that helps.