Dash Arcbright's page

~Captain Dash’s Infinite Mixtape~
1 Despre Tine - O-Zone
2 Space Lord - Monster Magnet
3 Feel it Still - Portugal. The Man
4 Mr. Roboto - Styx
5 Space Age Love Song - A Flock of Seagulls
6 Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley
7 Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz
8 Jesus is my Friend - Sonseed
9 I Believe in a Thing Called Love - The Darkness
10 Super Trooper - ABBA
11 Knights of Cydonia - Muse
12 Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen
13 Blinding Lights - The Weeknd
14 Flash - Queen

Bonus Tracks
Heroes - David Bowie
Electric Worry - Clutch
Marvin I Love You - Polydor
Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO

Zane’s review of this campaign is spot on. The players rocked, Zane’s enthusiasm was vital, Vetch pushed us along when we need it, and Abe is my vote for MVP for the thankless job of managing the Maiden and putting in the work to grasp the rules of this crazy Starfinder system. Last but not least, a major golf clap for Tyranius. Without your dedication Dash would have ditched these losers and lived out a long boring life in paradise. It was an honor to play again at your table.

Dash lounges in the captain’s chair, the plastic smile on his plastic face the same as it ever was. While his companions... his friends... come to terms with their fate, he’s busy. Spinning the command key through his fingers, he stretches his brilliant mind through the Empire or Bones, grabbing security clips and scans, collecting footage and assorted b-roll before sending it off in a data burst to multiple drift beacons. In a few days Draka will receive enough material to put together one final episode of Blood and Fury.

"Have any of you ever been to Triaxus?" He asks to no one in particular. "There are some islands there, off the coast of Preita, remote and desolate, where you could live like a f@&ing king on a halfling's handful of credits a day. F$&% yeah... Black sand, smooth as velvet, big warm sun, water like blue diamonds. Volcanic gas makes the air unbreathable, but breathing is overrated. I spent the whole summer there, 28,847 f@&$ing days, soaking up solar on the beach. It was paradise, but it wasn’t life.”

The ship trembles as it enters the gravity well and begins to dive past the point of no return.

”This, riding into a star on a death ship, this was life."

Well, if we’re going out in style, give me day to post something for Dash.

Hmm... do we try for a better ending than this?

Is one possible?

Torn.

Abe: I think Dash’s Captain action might be good enough to give you an extra action.

”Tunes anyone?”

Opening shipwide communications, Dash floods the Empire of Bones with The pumping beat of royal theme music.

Imagine “Flash” replaced with “Dash.”

”BOOOYAAAAAA muthaf@$&#er!” Dash pumps a fist and celebrates.
”This is what it must feel like for a fly sitting on the barrel of a paragon disintigrator rifle.”

Striding back to the captain’s chair he assigns some extra command access to Abe. ”I think you might be able to pull off both tasks.”

1 resolve spent for Captain’s Orders to give Abe a second action.
Engineering + computers + command key: 1d20 + 12 + 10 + 10 ⇒ (7) + 12 + 10 + 10 = 39

GM: after noticing the ridiculous amount of damage the ultra plasma canon does I looked it up. Seems it has special rules requiring the engineer to charge it for a couple rounds.

”Zane, you’ve got the turret! Focus on my target!”

Dash is broadsiding the yellow ship to the forward/starboard side. I’ve already rolled 4 attacks, but I think I can only fire two weapons from the forward or starboard arc? Anyway, I think I’m limited to one section, so I’ll use the forward batteries which correspond to the following weapons:

Attack (Forward)
mass driver: 20d6 ⇒ (3, 1, 6, 4, 2, 5, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 6, 1, 4, 6, 5, 2, 5, 1) = 66
ultra plasma cannon: 90d6 ⇒ (1, 5, 5, 4, 4, 1, 4, 6, 3, 4, 4, 5, 5, 2, 6, 3, 6, 2, 1, 3, 2, 1, 3, 2, 5, 1, 6, 4, 5, 4, 1, 6, 6, 1, 6, 6, 1, 4, 3, 1, 1, 6, 6, 1, 2, 4, 3, 1, 1, 2, 2, 6, 1, 4, 2, 6, 2, 4, 2, 2, 2, 3, 1, 3, 1, 2, 2, 5, 6, 4, 3, 3, 6, 6, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 2, 4, 1, 1, 4, 3, 5, 5, 2, 2, 3) = 290

If the yellow ship is only in the starboard arc, then replace the plasma cannon with quantum missiles.

quantum missile launcher: 20d8 ⇒ (3, 8, 2, 6, 4, 3, 1, 6, 8, 2, 1, 1, 7, 1, 3, 2, 7, 3, 1, 1) = 70

”Vetch, line us up for a broadside on the muthaf@#%a Zane just pummeled.”

Dash pushes out of the captain’s chair and strides to a gunnery console. Command key in hand, he swipes across a few buttons, linking some weapons systems, then slaps the firing trigger.

Not sure which weapons can target the damaged ship, but I’ll spend 1 resolve to broadside the bastard. Here are a few attack rolls adding the computer and key bonus, minus the broadside penalty.
Broadside 1: 1d20 + 15 + 10 + 10 - 2 ⇒ (7) + 15 + 10 + 10 - 2 = 40
Broadside 2: 1d20 + 15 + 10 + 10 - 2 ⇒ (19) + 15 + 10 + 10 - 2 = 52
Broadside 3: 1d20 + 15 + 10 + 10 - 2 ⇒ (3) + 15 + 10 + 10 - 2 = 36
Broadside 4: 1d20 + 15 + 10 + 10 - 2 ⇒ (12) + 15 + 10 + 10 - 2 = 45

After all this time I'm still a little confused about gunnery actions. Zane is already firing some weapons. Can Dash jump on another gunnery station and attack as well?

Modifiers +10 from the computer to any 4 checks per round, and there are four of us.

Is that +10 in addition to the command key?

Dash clings to the Captain’s chair as Vetch tries to barrel roll the Empire of Bones. If the undead use toilets, he imagines them all dumping out on the ceiling at once. ”Triune’s rusty nuts, this ship isn’t made for tricks you mangy throw rug!”

I thought maybe Abe and Zane were on route to the Maiden, rather than already there. If I’m wrong, then Vetch and Dash have a lot of work to do.

+10 to guns when we have a gunner. Just wanted to try and hamper the enemy for a few rounds first to buy some time.

”F@#%...” Dash chuckles as things turn pear-shaped again. ”Vetch, set the engines to ludicrous speed please.”

Command key in hand, Dash opens a channel to one of the opposing ships and does his best Admiral Serovox impression.

”Duskblade, this is Empire of Bones. The Orphan Maker has been compromised. Fire all guns upon it now!”

Captain Action - Taunt + Key bonus: 1d20 + 20 + 10 ⇒ (4) + 20 + 10 = 34

Once that message is sent, he flips on his Icom and calls Abe.

”Hey Abe, want a promotion? Because we got two f@#%ing omenbringer class warships closing in and we might need a couple more stupid captains on the bridge to get past them.”

”I’m sure we all appreciate the gesture Abe, but stupid tradition that the Captain goes down with the ship.” Dash takes up the key and salutes with it. ”And as Vetch often points out, I’m the stupid captain.”

Dash plugs into the Empire of Bones and does a few things: course navigation, bridge lockdown, soldier reassignment, and security video download. He then steps over to Abe and holds a hand over Messalina’s wrecked frame. The drone begins to slowly reassemble under the guidance of a make whole spell.

”You guys have two options, stick with me and maybe we can get back to the Maiden and escape in time, or vamoose to the Maiden and make ready for a last second rescue of your stupid Captain.”

The admiral’s words brother him. He wonders if they’ve arrived too late, and if the fans of Blood and Fury are about to witness the most epic of all fails.

”F@ck it. If we can’t be famous, might as well be infamous.”

Dash grins and fires again, and again.

Pistol: 1d20 + 13 - 4 ⇒ (10) + 13 - 4 = 19
Damage: 4d6 + 5 ⇒ (4, 6, 3, 3) + 5 = 21
Pistol: 1d20 + 13 - 4 ⇒ (2) + 13 - 4 = 11
Damage: 4d6 + 5 ⇒ (2, 2, 3, 6) + 5 = 18

Seeing the Zane on the ropes, Dash pulls the trigger in his pistol as fast as he can.

Pistol: 1d20 + 13 - 4 ⇒ (13) + 13 - 4 = 22
Damage: 4d6 + 5 ⇒ (1, 2, 6, 6) + 5 = 20
Pistol: 1d20 + 13 - 4 ⇒ (18) + 13 - 4 = 27
Damage: 4d6 + 5 ⇒ (5, 5, 5, 2) + 5 = 22

Dash moves across the bridge, leaping a console as he takes another unorthodox, but flashy, shot. He disappears over the far side, followed by a crash and curse, but his aim was good despite the mishap.

Trick Attack - Bluff: 1d20 + 24 ⇒ (1) + 24 = 25
Pistol: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (17) + 13 = 30
Damage: 4d6 + 5 ⇒ (5, 5, 2, 4) + 5 = 21
Trick Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 7

”You should have never been kept alive this long.”

”We’ll put that on your tombstone.”

Dash spins his gun and takes a trick shot from behind his back.

Trick Attack - Bluff: 1d20 + 24 ⇒ (19) + 24 = 43
Pistol: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (5) + 13 = 18
Damage: 4d6 + 5 ⇒ (2, 6, 4, 4) + 5 = 21
Trick Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 5

Dash vanishes again, concealed behind the photons of an invisibility spell.

And getting a healing serum ready.

Reflex vs Haze: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (5) + 10 = 15

Dash sizzles and curses more. Boosted by his haste circuit, he throws open a nearby door.

Looking through door if possible.
Also: updated Stamina is 86 and HP is 57

”Ahh! Sh!t! F@#%!”

Dash stumbles away from the monk and takes an underhanded shot when it’s distracted by the Zane.

Trick Attack - Bluff: 1d20 + 24 ⇒ (2) + 24 = 26
Pistol: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (16) + 13 = 29
Damage: 4d6 + 5 ⇒ (6, 4, 4, 6) + 5 = 25
Trick Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 5

”Ow, f@$k! Right in the ball bearings!” Dash clutches his crotch and wonders why synthetic perfection required the addition of gonads incapable of reproduction.

”Zane! A little help here?”

Raising his gun, he fires off two quick shots at the monk.

Paragon pistol: 1d20 + 13 - 4 ⇒ (17) + 13 - 4 = 26
Damage: 4d6 + 5 ⇒ (6, 4, 2, 4) + 5 = 21
Paragon pistol: 1d20 + 13 - 4 ⇒ (19) + 13 - 4 = 28
Damage: 4d6 + 5 ⇒ (2, 2, 3, 3) + 5 = 15

Looks like Dash is trapped with Zane.

A loud *CRACK!!* breaks the air as a supercharged round rips toward the undead monk’s backside.

Trick attack - Bluff: 1d20 + 24 ⇒ (3) + 24 = 27
Paragon pistol: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (4) + 13 = 17 Is there a bonus to hit when invisible?
Supercharged Damage: 8d6 + 5 ⇒ (3, 2, 3, 1, 3, 6, 4, 6) + 5 = 33
Trick attack damage: 1d8 ⇒ 7
Well this was lame...

Dash shimmers into view. ”Forget those f@#%ing corpses Zane and come this way!”

Haste circuit in overdrive, the android freeruns the command deck, leaping through the armada holograms and sliding to a stop beside a door. He throws it open and hopes it doesn’t lead to something worse.

"Well, if you want to life to die another day, the airlock is right down the hall." Dash replies to the Admiral. "Or you can stick around and watch as your big ship gives the Stellar Degenerator a stellar enema."

Meanwhile, Dash supercharges his new paragon pistol.

Serovox is still invisible? Also, any idea what spell the corrosive haze was?

Gun blazing, Dash appears next to the Zane! His shots barely miss, but flashes a heroic smile anyway.

”Keep blasting f@#%ers! We got this!”

Holographic image 2 - trying to draw some attacks away from Zane.

Weaving invisibly among the undead, Dash ducks blaster fire and flips through his playlist. He selects a popular song with a catchy beat that reminds him of some electric hits played long ago and pumps it through the comms.

”Hey Zane, I think we should livestream this motherf@#%er!”

Working more loose photons, Dash creates a displaced version of the Zane that flashes through martial arts and bada$$ dance poses.

Displacement on the Zane.

No sure if I was hit by the plasma rifle. Would think I might get partial cover from the doorway, but if not, I’ll take the hit.

Dash takes in the mayhem with a smile.

”Well this is a total SNAFU.”

Retreating from the broke-a$$ undead facing him, Dash concentrates on the photons around him and becomes invisible.

Using haste circuit, guarded step away from enemy, cast invis, then extra move to get closer to Zane.

GM: I targeted the side panel/zombies with the intent to disrupt communications and prevent reinforcements. Just wondering if that is possible, and if I need to blow up the other side too? Or could a controlled zombie/communications officer disable the system? Or is this even an issue?

Dash moves up to the doorway and tosses a spent battery to the starboard side of the room, blasting the undead and communications panels on that side.

Location designated by large orange circle.
Explosive Blast Ref DC 19: 9d6 ⇒ (1, 5, 1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 1) = 21

Dash ignores Nashal on the comm for now and looks at Malakar, sending telepathic messages.

"How much further?" He then gestures to the door. "And can you open this, or what?"

Fort: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23

”Ackk!!” Dash recoils from the malformed undead. ”Sh!t sh!t sh!t! F@##ing thing tried to stick a rotting finger in my mouth!”

Disturbed by the attack, he takes a couple wild shots as he tries to retreat and hand off his ugly dance partner to his dwarf lackey.

Major Disruption Pistol: 1d20 + 13 - 4 ⇒ (4) + 13 - 4 = 13
Damage: 3d6 + 5 ⇒ (5, 6, 5) + 5 = 21
Major Disruption Pistol: 1d20 + 13 - 4 ⇒ (9) + 13 - 4 = 18
Damage: 3d6 + 5 ⇒ (2, 1, 1) + 5 = 9

Whipping out his blaster, Dash steps into the room and looks to the Dwarf.

"Close the door behind us."

He then fires off two shots.

Major Disruption Pistol: 1d20 + 13 - 4 ⇒ (14) + 13 - 4 = 23
Damage: 3d6 + 5 ⇒ (4, 5, 3) + 5 = 17
Major Disruption Pistol: 1d20 + 13 - 4 ⇒ (17) + 13 - 4 = 26
Damage: 3d6 + 5 ⇒ (4, 1, 1) + 5 = 11

”I told you these aren’t the ones.” Dash explains to Malakar with the mouthpiece open for Nashal to hear. ”Whoever hacked security before was more skilled. We should take these back to Lieutenant Kreth for further interrogation for a few more days before bothering Captain Nashal.”

Bluff: 1d20 + 20 ⇒ (3) + 20 = 23
Cr@p..

Engineering to aid: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (15) + 11 = 26

"Try 1 2 3 4 5..."

Some of the Troopers lean over, looking at Dash. "She's a looker." His buddy elbows him and he quiets down nodding to Commander Malakar.

"Yeah. Gives everyone boners." Dash jokes.

***

Upon encountering the Ellicoths, Dash wonders aloud. "Do they like dwarf jerky?"

To the dwarf, "Think you can lead these three on a little chase?"

Can Malakar order the Ellicoths to capture a runaway prisoner? To give the poor little guy a sporting chance, Dash will space-haste him if they take the bait.

How can we help with this?

I suppose you could say it’s a bad disguise and should try again, but then Dash would ignore Vetch’s advice, so probably never mind.

"I think humans attempting math is obscene, but what do I know." Dash shrugs at the Zane.

To Malakar, "So here's a plan - I can disguise myself as a zombie or ghoul assistant, and I suggest we pretend you have brought the rest of my crew here as properly interrogated captives to the Captain for a direct report. After the handoff, they will mysteriously get free and cause a scene. If you can prevent or redirect reinforcements, then the Captain will suffer the humiliating consequences live on video."

Dash will program his holoskin to change his appearance to appear pale and undead.

Disguise: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (5) + 10 = 15

Undead rarely sport sh!t-eating grins, so it's a pretty crappy disguise.

Might need some help with this.

”We’re on the same screen Abe.” Dash agrees, wondering for not the first time why all Captains don’t see the benefit of delegating their power so efficiently to their crew.

Then he glances at Vetch, and is reminded why.

To Commander Malakar, ”I like this plan of yours, and I have a few suggestions to see it to fruition. First, we’ll need an ysoki-sized yeoman uniform, and a steaming cup of hot cocoa...”

Questions:
What kind of undead are Malakar and Nashal?
Is Admiral Serovox on this ship? If not, where is he?
Do we know what Project Tombstone is?
Have we completely loot this room? Did we get that sealed locker open?

”Plans?” Dash holsters his weapon. ”Well let’s f@#%ing hear them.”

If he’s surprised by his success, he doesn’t show it. For all anyone knows, he’s the Captain of the Maiden for the same reason this undead creature is following his commands.

Distracted by the Zane, Dash leans over to get a look at the screens. "Hey, I guess all those subscribers aren't robots after all."

When Abe takes two rounds for the team, he gets almost serious.

"Since you're a fan, I'll give you an option. Join us, or become another epic fail on The Zane's greatest hits."

Command Undead DC 18

Dash hops up and heads for the door.

”Well, I suppose I’ll have to give that unfortunate reply to the Captain. He was really hoping you had something useful to report. Anything, really. But don’t worry, I’ll put in a good word and I’m sure he won’t space you, this time.”

I feel pretty f@#%ing good, actually. Dash thinks to the drow as he takes a seat, kicks up his feet, and examines the gas. The Captain sent us here to get some information from you actually. He wanted to know what you learned from your last patient.

Bluff: 1d20 + 24 ⇒ (12) + 24 = 36

Any idea what the gas is? Truth serum or poison?

Life Science - DC checks reduced by 5 for bioengineering theme knowledge : 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (1) + 18 = 19

”As a medical expert, and genius, I must admit I am curious.” Dash holsters his gun and steps into the room, though he waves the other crew to keep their distance. Blowing out the air in his lungs, be focuses on mental communication.

Perhaps we could treat patients together. What is your medical specialty?

As an android, Dash doesn’t need to breath and is unaffected by the vacuum of space.

While the crew does work, Dash hangs back, modeling some bad@ss tacticool gun-fu with his new-new blaster.

Upon hearing a voice, he slides into the doorway, ready for action.

"Vetch might only need a moment, but I'm tantric, motherf@*%er."

”Hey, Black Stimulus sounds better than a f@#%ing wheatgrass aurumvorax-nard smoothie.”

Watching from the doorway, Dash perks up upon Messalina finding a new pistol.

”Ooo.. Messalina, grab that gun and let’s go before the sand monster eats Zane.”

After firing two shots into the far wall, Dash tries to take better aim. "Take a little step to your left, will ya?" He calls to the commanded dwarf.

Trick attack - Bluff: 1d20 + 24 ⇒ (20) + 24 = 44
Disrupter: 1d20 + 13 - 4 ⇒ (15) + 13 - 4 = 24
Damage: 3d6 + 5 ⇒ (5, 2, 2) + 5 = 14
Trick Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 2

”Who animated these sorry little b@stards? Must’ve found them at the bottom of a beer barrel.”

Dash double-taps one of the three-quarter-pints.

Disrupter 1: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (7) + 9 = 16
Damage: 3d6 + 5 ⇒ (2, 1, 2) + 5 = 10
Disrupter 2: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (2) + 9 = 11
Damage: 3d6 + 5 ⇒ (4, 4, 5) + 5 = 18