Warforged Fighter

Cap'n Yesterday's Wack Storytim's page

25 posts. Alias of captain yesterday.


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I'll say!

- Tim.


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It was a dark and stormy night...


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Tacticslion wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Tequila Sunrise wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
And how much experience would you give for letting the GM turn every session into his favorite episodes of Melrose Place.
I'd probably give him or her the experience of me walking out*
But, you can be Jake!
I'm sure this would be funnier if I knew, like, anything about Melrose place. Except, I think?, it's a soap opera.

Jake is the rebel beefcake in a leather jacket that statutory raped Kelly from 90210 and was awarded with his own spin-off (Melrose Place).

And now you know, the rest of the story.

Mostly I was saying Tequila can be the beefcake, it's probably best the statutory rape is left out entirely.


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And some will say, his head grew ten sizes that day.


I found my first porn mags in the garage of the house we just moved into when the previous resident left a big old box filled with playboys and letters to penthouse.

Some say I grew ten sizes that summer, others will say I was jacking off under my bed too much.


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My brothers tried convincing me I was Chinese (because back in the day there was a statistic that every fifth child born in to the world is Chinese).

They also tried telling me I had a glass eye, but I never believed that one.


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It is a dark and stormy night, the fog hangs thick around the Digestive Health Clinic.


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He stared up opaquely at the robustness of her nose. While she wondered robustly about whether his junk was really opaque.


I still remember both times I got my shipping notice before Skeld.


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Sadly, Captain Yesterday was too tired to search for Tim Tam, and make a relevant alias, and so we're left with this crap.


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It's always great that first year when kids start to really notice the wider world around them. :-)

Why some say Tiny T-Rex's eyes grew ten sizes that day when he rounded the corner and the whole fair lay out before him.


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How I stabbed myself with the toilet.

Directly underneath the toilet handle is washer thingy with a stub to catch the toilet handle. Our washer likes to shift so the chain gets caught on something. But it's a simple fix to tighten it up again. Apparently, my thumb slipped ever so slightly as I was tightening it and stabbed it on the stub underneath the toilet handle, more of a prick really, but it hurt.


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It is a dark and stormy night.


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Three days before Pea Bear's spring chorus concert she comes to us with a problem. She can't find her solid black leggings or whatever they're called that she absolutely had to wear. She checked her dresser and closet and they're nowhere. "No problem, they're probably in your basket of clean clothes you need to put away or in your basket of dirty clothes you need to wash. Just put away and wash your laundry and they'll turn up" the General said, every single day. The night of the concert rolls around and Pea Bear is in a panic, she still can't find them! "Did you wash and put away your laundry" " well, no" "did you look through the basket of clean laundry" "no..." *exasperated sigh!*

She finally settled on her black leggings with shamrocks on the bottom and wore tall boots.

Of course, it was a non issue as only five out of how many kids wore straight black leggings.

The next day, Pea Bear gets dressed for school and comes out of her room wearing straight black leggings. "Where did you find those then" Pea Bear (meekly) "in my dresser" I laugh in resigned exasperation as the General turns a bright shade of red with smoke emerging from her ears that can only be achieved by cartoons or parenting teenagers.


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Captain Yesterday learned a very important this day about going to a different Rocky Rococo then the one by his job because this one was more convenient.


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
And the morale of the story is some people like things and some people don't like things.

Alas, with the end of winter, the story's morale was at an all time low.

Luckily, the story lacked a moral, so some gambling and a tour of Absalom's best dancehalls perked it right up!


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Honestly, it's times like that where I stroke my goatee thoughtfully, then start making s&&$ up.

But in order for them to believe you, you have to start out "absolutely!" first, then branch off from there.

But always, and I mean always end it with "...And that's why Jesus and the Easter Bunny sank Atlantis!"


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Han shot first!!


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Tacticslion wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

Time travellers.

Goth Guru taught me recently everything can be justified/blamed on time travellers.

Oh, yeah?!

Well what about... MY FACE~!?

Little did Tacticslion realize, his face had changed three times that day.


I shot a crossbow. Once.

Turned out to be a cricket.

And I missed.


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To this day, some historians believe his glass eye and glass testy were indistinguishable from each other. And in moments of mirth, Teddy would often switch them.

But that would be wack.


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Captain Yesterday's Cautionary Tale Time!

If you happen to work at a toy store, and you get your sick child a toy whilst checking your weekly schedule. They will forever more expect a toy when you return from checking your weekly schedule. And you'll hear a near constant stream of "...And on the fourth day you check your schedule I want this toy...".

Moral of the story: Tell your kids you work at a strip club or for the mob, anything except that you work at a toy store.


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No one knows exactly why Captain Yesterday decided to go into work that day when they called him in.

Perhaps it was the winter madness, taking root earlier then usual. Some people say his heart grew three sizes that day. The eldest among us believe he became greedy with that sweet Christmas bling.

What do I believe? I think he was just wack.

And probably stupid, it's f+&%ing cold out!


Now, I'm conflicted.

This alias leaves me with a few options.

1. Start ten threads petitioning Chris for more characters for names, as my first choice of "Cap'n Yesterday's Old Wives Tales" was too long.

2. Thank the powers that be (Chris) because now I have to know, who StoryTim is, and how to make it wack.

Also what was it for...

To YouTube!