Welcome to the Shiv!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Greetings, delicious humanoids! What's the scoop? My name is Tom. Tom Rex. Tom normally doesn't talk to Tom's lunch, but Boss Sutter said Tom has to in this case, and since Boss Sutter is all skin and bones and beans and peanut butter, and thus not edible to Tom's discerning palate, Tom has no recourse but to do what Boss Sutter says. So here Tom is, talking to things that should be screaming as Tom chews them. But Tom is okay with that, because Tom needs his paycheck.

Boss Sutter said Tom should put James Jacobs's original map turnover on this blog, so that you squawking morsels might be able to use it as a handout in your Serpent's Skull games, but Tom can't find the map. Tom thinks it's at the back of one of the shelves, and Tom's arms can't reach that far, and anyone who makes fun of Tom's arms WILL be eaten. That's the scoop on that.

So instead, Tom just kicked in the door to the map archive room, ate the guards, stepped on their stupid robot defenders, and picked up the big untagged map of Smuggler's Shiv in Tom's teeth. Then Tom put it behind the spoiler button on this post. If you're a player in a Smuggler's Shiv game, Tom will kick your ass. Right up into Tom's mouth, where Tom will eat you. So don't peek! The map behind the spoiler button is for GMs only, who want to present a blank map to their players once they find a map of Smuggler's Shiv during the course of the adventure. GOT IT?

Spoiler:
Cartography by Robert Lazzaretti

As for what Tom thinks of the triceratops/torosaurus debacle... doesn't matter to Tom. They're equally delicious whatever their names are. That's the scoop on that!

Tom Rex
King of Reporters

More Paizo Blog.
Tags: Maps Pathfinder Adventure Path Rob Lazzaretti Serpent's Skull Tom Rex
Dark Archive

Thanks for the scoop (and the map) Tom !

I would shake your hand but ... well, that is to say um, your arms are ...

::runs::


Tom knows you didn't just make fun of Tom's arms. Because you haven't been stepped on and/or eaten by Tom's foot and/or mouth.

Don't let it happen again, because next time Tom's feet and mouth won't be so slow to make up for it.

Also, here's the scoop: Tyrannosaurus rex arms are very small relative to overall body size, measuring only 1 meter (3.3 ft) long. However, they are not vestigial but instead show large areas for muscle attachment, indicating considerable strength. This was recognized as early as 1906 by Osborn, who speculated that the forelimbs may have been used to grasp a mate during copulation. It has also been suggested that the forelimbs were used to assist the animal in rising from a prone position. Another possibility is that the forelimbs held struggling prey while it was dispatched by the tyrannosaur's enormous jaws. This hypothesis may be supported by biomechanical analysis. Tyrannosaurus rex forelimb bones exhibit extremely thick cortical bone, indicating that they were developed to withstand heavy loads. The biceps brachii muscle of a full-grown Tyrannosaurus rex was capable of lifting 199 kilograms (439 lb) by itself; this number would only increase with other muscles (like the brachialis) acting in concert with the biceps. A Tyrannosaurus rex forearm also had a reduced range of motion, with the shoulder and elbow joints allowing only 40 and 45 degrees of motion, respectively. In contrast, the same two joints in Deinonychus allow up to 88 and 130 degrees of motion, respectively, while a human arm can rotate 360 degrees at the shoulder and move through 165 degrees at the elbow. The heavy build of the arm bones, extreme strength of the muscles, and limited range of motion may indicate a system designed to hold fast despite the stresses of a struggling prey animal (like baron arem heshvaun).

Liberty's Edge

I like Tom.

Liberty's Edge

Tom Rex wrote:
may indicate a system designed to hold fast despite the stresses of a struggling prey animal (like baron arem heshvaun).

Heheh...


Joke, Joke, DINOSAUR FACTS!, Joke!

How delightfully nerdy!

Its something that annoys alot of people I know! We joke about something silly then after a pause in laughter I say 'Actually did you know that...'

So I found Tom's post hilarious!

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Oooh handy

RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16, 2011 Top 32, 2012 Top 4

Tom Rex wrote:
Another possibility is that the forelimbs held struggling prey while it was dispatched by the tyrannosaur's enormous jaws.

How many bites does it take to get into the center of a baron arem heshvaun anyway?

Thanks for the map!

Dark Archive

Cool map. Also Tom has the best catch phrase of any Paizo staff member.

Dark Archive

Tom Rex wrote:
may indicate a system designed to hold fast despite the stresses of a struggling prey animal (like baron arem heshvaun).

But I'm all bones I tell ya, BONES !

::splashes on Musk de Cacahuète Beurrer, keeps running::

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Tom Rex may be the best dinosaur who shrugged off extinction working at Paizo.

Sovereign Court

Who can beat a blog written by a dino talking in the 3rd person?


I ate Tom's arms for dinner.


I think I dig this tom fellow, I think we should enlist him!


Steelfiredragon wrote:

I ate Tom's arms for dinner.

Tom thinks that with a fertile imagination like that, you should talk to Boss Sutter about getting in on our new fiction line. Tell him "Tom Rex sent you."


Tom Rex wrote:
Steelfiredragon wrote:

I ate Tom's arms for dinner.

Tom thinks that with a fertile imagination like that, you should talk to Boss Sutter about getting in on our new fiction line. Tell him "Tom Rex sent for you."

I think Tom just ordered out for lunch...


Perfect Timing Tom.
We are returning to Session #2 of the Shiv tonight!

danke!


You find the best maps, Tom.

Liberty's Edge

Just to warn you, Tom: EVERYTHING that bites me dies!!


Megan Robertson wrote:
Just to warn you, Tom: EVERYTHING that bites me dies!!

What about stepping on you? Tom has big feet and there are claws on them. OH! OH OH! What about slamming you with a tree? Tom can pick one up with his big mouth and hit you with it! OH! What about standing next to you and then when the meteors come Tom dodges to the side at the last minute?

Tom's just saying that Tom is quite creative in methods of mayhem.

Sovereign Court

Tail slap! Tail slap!

Liberty's Edge

Anyone else wondering what would happen if Tom and Mr. Fishy ran into each other?

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Wailing and gnashing of teeth I believe...

RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16, 2011 Top 32, 2012 Top 4

Tessius wrote:
Anyone else wondering what would happen if Tom and Mr. Fishy ran into each other?

Do NOT summon Mr Fishy. He's actually a player in my SSAP campaign and isn't supposed to be in this forum. Seriously! ;-)

Liberty's Edge

Tom Qadim wrote:
Tessius wrote:
Anyone else wondering what would happen if Tom and Mr. Fishy ran into each other?
Do NOT summon Mr Fishy. He's actually a player in my SSAP campaign and isn't supposed to be in this forum. Seriously! ;-)

Lol. Does Sr. Piscine search the messageboards looking for his name? :)

Anyway, last time I summoned something on the boards, it involved a bag of Starburst and a wereplatypus...

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