Weekly Geeks

Game Master Krallek

You are in Absalom, the mighty City at the Center of the World, and you’ve always longed to explore one of the countless ruins of failed conquerors that litter the plains outside the city’s walls.

You’ve heard rumors that one of the sealed siege castles was laid open by a minor earthquake that struck the region over 6 months ago. Word on the street is that no one has yet entered the tower, which folks are calling the “Fallen Fortress.” What better way to start a life of excitement and adventure than by exploring its long-abandoned, dusty halls and perhaps claiming its ancient treasures?

You are in Absalom, the mighty City at the Center of the World, and you’ve always longed to explore one of the countless ruins of failed conquerors that litter the plains outside the city’s walls.

You’ve heard rumors that one of the sealed siege castles was laid open by a minor earthquake that struck the region over 6 months ago. Word on the street is that no one has yet entered the tower, which folks are calling the “Fallen Fortress.” What better way to start a life of excitement and adventure than by exploring its long-abandoned, dusty halls and perhaps claiming its ancient treasures?

like this?

or this?

Or more like: this ?

Actually I'm going with this...

Byron Halfleaf looked around anxiously, trying not to let his body betray his inner excitement about the prospect of setting off beyond Absalom's city walls. The idea of finding a band of adventurers that would assist in exploring one of the many ruins that was opened by the recent earthquake and aftershocks had consumed him over the last few weeks. The anticipation of what they may find kept him awake at night; the measliest of contents of one of these ruins paling the greatest of items and reward he could hope for in skulking the city streets, closing the backroom deals for others.

Smiling his brightest, most authentic smile, Halfleaf stuck out his hand, fully realizing that his excitement was betraying him.

Well met, sir. Halfleaf. Byron Halfleaf. A true pleasure.

Looking at me hands I see they're too big, too burned and always dirty. There's got to be a better way ta' make a livin' than bending steel. Ah sure it made me strong and the long hours are good fer me constitution, but sleeping on the smithy's floor only ta wake with the roosters is getting boring...I needs me sum adventure. Like them fellas down in the inn, always buying drinks fer their friends and the girlies and teasing the likes of us who can barely afford ta drink more than once a week AND I likes ta drink!!

Here comes that skinny guy...what's his name? Halfhand? Oakleaf? Damn... I'm not good with names. Ah shoot I hope he introduces his-self again

*Looks down at dirty, burned hands*

Shoot...I fergot ta wash me hands after work, hope this skinny fella don't mind iron soot

Pleased ta' meetchya...Vulgar's the name

*extends dirty hand*

Kellic watched from across the bar as the elf and dwarf approached each other, looking like two teenagers on a first date, and sized up the potential allies.

The dwarf was broad shouldered and looked like he could swing that axe well enough, and judging by the armor, he was definitely a warrior. The elf was large for his kind, maybe he has some human blood? And moved with the smooth, measured grace of his heritage. The blade on his hip was thin and spoke of one that didn't like to stand toe-to-toe... heaven help us if he is a bard!

Either way, these two looked like they could handle themselves well enough and Kellic nodded to himself as he rose and crossed the room. Yes these would be good companions.

Of course, with all this steel, it would be good to find a spell caster...

Ok, you guys started roleplaying before I had the chance to set the stage.

You are in the City of Absalom, in a district known as The Puddles. It is one of the poorer districts in the city which gets its name from the fact that it frequently floods. This is not a nice neighborhood to raise a family but it just might be the kind of place you could find work. Each of you seeks adventure, fame, and gold! Our story starts in a bar called "The Rusty Nail." A fitting place for ones such as yourselves to congregate.

Inside the bar is a busy place. The food is unidentifiable and cheap as are the women. The bartender is a hulking man with thick arms and a massive barrel chest. He seems a friendly enough chap though as he pours drinks and brings out steaming bowls of "stew" to his patrons announcing that the chef has completely outdone herself this evening.

The serving girl, a buxom young thing, deftly dodges a pinch on the bottom as she weaves her way through the crowd with a tray full of drinks. The assumed smile never leaves her face.

Over in the corner is a bawdy table full of local dockworkers drinking off a day of hard labour. One of them cracks a joke and the group breaks into a raucous laughter. One of their crew has clearly had too much to drink and he topples over onto the table smashing drinks and snack foods as he passes out.

Alright Shaimus, you've had enough. We cannot have you sleeping off the drink in my common room. Its bad for business.

As the barkeep easily hoists the drunken patron up and onto his shoulders you cannot help but think to yourselves that this if this man knows the crowd in The Rusty Nail, perhaps he also knows the area.

You can sleep it off in the cellar ... again. Lets hope it doesn't flood like last time. Ya nearly drowned down there!

And he carts the dockworker off through the door to the kitchen and returns a short time later frowning but friendly once again.

I look around the empty bar...wondering who is talking to me...

I look around the empty bar...wondering who is talking to me...

I must look terrible...i better get cleaned up

Now that BrokenOne has left, Pixiedust Sweetung steps put from where he was hiding, adjusts his threadbare cloak, looks meaningfully at Vulgar, hoping for silence if not appreciation.

*Shakes hand, wincing, when the dwarf turns his back*

Wow, that is some grip on the little fella. Smells like metal and heat, just hope that he can swing that big ol' axe with the strength he shakes hands with. There are probably some other folk whose skills, like the fella that just seemed to arrive out of no where and the other fella that is glancing over here when he thinks no one is looking +9 Perception. Ah, good the dwarf returns. I am glad that he took care of that grimy face, now his appearance fits less his name, heh. I guess I should grab a table and a few pints.

*Waves for the other two to join him at a table for four.*

Wench! Let these fellas order a round. I'm paying.

*Lowers his voice to address the men at the table.*

You look like a group that have the skills that would serve in aiding me with a bit of an adventurous proposition. Would you be interested in taking a jaunt outside of Absalom's walls?

As long as yer buyin'...I'm drinkin'!! WENCH!! None a' that piss ya usually serve me, gimme the real stuff! I gots me a new friend

*looks around*

A couple of them HAR

*lowers voice* ye other fellers wanna go off and see about gettin' us some treasure with here skinny fella? I dunno where ta go yet, but I'd bet that there barkeeper might know a thing er two

The serving girl brings over a tray full of foaming mugs of Pug's Amber Ale. Byron pays the hefty price and you settle down and take yourself a mug. After you pick out some unidentifiable black bits out of the foam and something that looks suspiciously like a bit of fur, you take a long pull from the tankard.

Ahhhhh! This is the life! Says Vulgar. A man could get used to this. I mean the beer still tastes like piss but at least its expensive piss. One of life's little luxuries I suppose.

The serving girl scurries off to help another patron and the calm awkward silence of expectations unspoken settles over the table. You figure now would be a good time to talk business ... and perhaps just a little louder than normal so your hooded eaves dropping friend can get the full gist of the conversation.

*Eyes narrow with satisfaction with Vulgar's positive response.*

The wenches are usually good for a tip or two, if you know what I mean. *winks* They usually know as much as the bartenders in a place like this. I'll enquire with them.

*Turns epectantly to the other two at the table.*

What say you two? Care to see the outside of the city?

Don't be so hasty poky ears, we got plenty a' drinkin' ta do and maybe even a bar maid or two ta' fondle HAR. Besides, we dunna' know where ta go for the easy pickins...and if the pickins are that easy, why ain't everyone gettin' over there? Nah, let's stay here and get good and drunk I think...then we go out a' lootin'

*waves down a barmaid*

Sweetheart...more drinks..bring us some shots too! and one fer yerself and the bartender...my friend is buying

Pixiedust sits down warily between the cute,but gruff,dwarf and the handsome half elf and listens to what they imagine for witty banter.
At an appropriate lull, he leans in and says" my name is Pixiadas, but everyone calls me Pixiedust because of my sweet voice and my phenomemal good looks. I am trained in a plethora of martial arts and melee weapons by the finest weapon masters of the underworld, but my true talents lie in my mastery of the arcane arts and acts of legerdemain"
A flash of flame snaps into the air from his fingertips as, with a very good sleight of hand check, he distracts his tablemates and empties three quarters of his foul ale into the cute elf boy's mug, and the rest into the dwarf's.
"Someone mentioned earning coin? I find myself in need of some liquid capital as some of my recent investments have not yielded adequate returns, and Guido the Ugly has been looking for me to make good on some 'debts. Another round?"

Ok, just to speed things up a bit here, there are several side quests available for the area you are visiting. I have already contacted some of you through email regarding side quests. It is up to you if you should decide to tell the others of these personal side quests or not. Help can be found nearby to assist with the lack of healing and spell casting. You just need to ask around a bit.

[i] if I keep plying these guys with booze, one of them will suggest a plan. I really need to make some money, and i'm tired of pimping[\i]
Pixiedust begins to sing [b]life is hard for a pimp[\b]

I've had me fill of booze...let's get to the plunderin'

*gets up, rooms starts to spin and falls down*

HARHARHAR someone pick me up and fetch my gear!! we got loot to plunder!!"

*storms out into the night...in the wrong direction*

Really? You guys are that stumped? I guess this proves it, fuzzy headed wookie and I ARE the brains of this fricken group. I did say that you should ask around ... twice. And the only two people I introduced (well not including the guy that passed out) was the bartender and the barmaid. *sighs*

Byron notices that Hulking Pug the bartender has been watching you guys closely and after half an hour and several rounds of drinks he finally comes over to talk with the group...

You boys look like you can handle yourselves in a ... um ... prickly situation. Are yas looking for work? There was this alchemist in here yesterday looking for some hardy adventuring types. He said something bout needing some ingredient thats only found in the Cairnlands. I ain't gonna charge ya nothing for the information. I just hope that when yous are rich and famous, you still come back to The Rusty Nail for your drinks. Its good for business you know? Anyways, he works up the street a ways. Just look for the sign with the boiling vial on it.

With that Pug leaves you alone to your thoughts.

OOC: Holly crap!!! I didn't even know we had started!!!

IC: Let's go investigate that tower before anyone else gets to it. Don't worry, we can leave in the morning dwarf! So who's in?

I will make the assumption, by Kellic's insertion of himself in the "we" that will be leaving for the tower, that nobody mentioned, that he is interested in coming along and that we have a common goal. I wonder what he seeks in the tower and what he is aware of that could lie within it? I should also assume that the wenches around here do not know anything //or that the DM wasn't paying attention to that part// when I used my silver tongue to charm them into relaying information about the area.

*Shrugs, sips his strong beer, watches the spinning dwarf with a half smile.*

I'm not sure what this Pixiedust elf-thing will add to the group. He has made himself out to be some sort of bard; a bard that has already shaken my faith in him as he got the words wrong to "Pimpin' Ain't Easy," a song that every wharf rat knows by the time they're ready to be pimped out themselves.

*Sighs, drains his strong beer and rises.*

I suppose we, or I, could go speak to this alchemist before the daylight burns out and find out what he is looking for.

Looks toward Hulking Pug. We'll come back, but you realize that you will have to get used to dealing with that... *Uses thumb to indicate Vulgar.* If you could, put him somewhere where he'll keep all of his equipment until we claim him in the morning.

Turns attention to Kellic. You comin'?

Drops enough coins on the table to cover the first couple of rounds, a tip and a common room for the group. Begins to walk out past the best looking barmaid in The Rusty Nail... My dear, would you mind making up a nice, private room for me? Hands her two gold And keep in mind that tonight might be my last night that I take breath and, Calistria willing, hope to expend more than just my gold... Looks her up and down so that she will have no doubt to his lustful intentions.

*Walks out the door, without hesitating for Kellic, and heads up the street to the alchemist's shoppe.*

As the four of you stumble drunkenly out of the bar and down the street you garner some unusual looks from the locals. Don't get me wrong, adventuring groups are quite common in The Puddles. But an adventuring party made up of a womanizing half man, a drunken dwarf, a brooding monk, and a racially confused pixie/drow/gnome bard is certain to get a few looks so to speak.

It doesn't take long for you to find the tile with the boiling vial on the front and as you enter the establishment your nose wrinkles up with the smell of charred sulphur, peat moss, vinegar, and strange oils. The patron of the shop approaches you warily as is normal in The Puddles when four heavily armed men walk into a place of business.

Well, hells bells! Hisses the proprietor. Are you adventurers? Did that brute Pug send you here? Wonderful! Simply wonderful. Did he tell you I have a very dangerous mission for you? Yes very dangerous indeed.

He pauses and looks you up and down as if sizing you up. After a moment he says

Well you look capable enough. Lets hope you can handle this ... um ... task. It should be childs play for the likes of you I think. Ever since that darned earthquake 6 months ago some strange things have been happening all over the Cairnlands. I've been experimenting with a new fungus that has started growing out there just recently. Been here my whole life and never seen it before and yet now its there. Hrm? What do you make of that?

Well anyways I've found this mushroom has medicinal qualities. I've managed to extract an oil from it and after heating it with an intense flame and mixing ....

The shopkeeper obviously really loves his work and he launches into a long and windy description of the extraction and reformulation process. After several minutes of him droning on and on you finally get something useful out of him.

After I mashed it up with my pestle it seemed to form a cohesive poultice. It works wonderfully on wounds or burns of all sorts. Look, if you gather these mushrooms for me I can make you more of this stuff. But be careful. Some nasty little critters have found they like to eat this stuff. Be careful.

He hands you a small pot of brown goop. Inside is 4 applications of the poultice. Each application will heal the victem of 5 hp of damage.

After some asking about you find out the area you are looking for is due West of Absalom.

Thank you, my good man. We will certainly keep our eyes open for these mushrooms. But, say, do you know anymore about these nasty critters that seem to feed on them?

Well ... um ... yes. I can tell you a bit about how to find the mushrooms. Look along the river banks and in the marshy areas. Thats where you will find them ... yes ... marshes and rivers.

After a long pause, he sighs and adds the following.

I'd do it myself you see but it's a bit tricky. Its the local crocodiles that seem to favour them. And they are the nasty crocs too. Please do be careful. If they grab you they try to pull you into the water to drown you. I lost my ... um ... well never mind. Just be careful.

By Torag's testicles I am funkin' drunkin'. I can barely make out any of the words this guy is saying. I tell you what though

*looks around with a lolloing head*

the Damiel fella's done pretty good fer hisself

*head stops bobbing and I squint at Damiel*

cuz looking at him you'd swear he was retarded.

Count me in "Moonie"

inside voice ya' drunken idiot...use yer inside voice. Ya can't go around calling retarded fellas "Moonie" in this day and age

If I just nudge the dwarf a little bit towards the counter, he should provide a bit of a distraction...and I'll be able to lift some...what the heck? all this guy has on his counter is mushrooms???? I may as well be back in Menzobarazan...or whatever the name of that place was...boy, that beer was strong...must remember to dump more in the silent guy's mug
Esckelllent! Krockodalls are eeshy to killl...errp. My majickk willl be of greatest help in pertekting you from their bitey fangs! Off we go!...and what is the pay, good alchemist?

grrrrrrrrrr. slash....grrrr
I am slowly getting over my psychotic episodes...formatting is working...
I am checking out this place, looking for things to steal, but nothing seems to be all that valuable...I hope this guy will pay us well...and what does the cute half-elf know about pimpin'...maybe I'll pay him a surprise visit in that room he paid for... Gracie is one of the more "energetic" girls...she doesn't mind the extra company...oooh. Focus, focus...I think we're going to the swamp.
*I tune my harp, fiddle and harmonica while waiting for the other three to get ready.*

*Shakes head.* Bah, I thought we left the dwarf spinning and falling at the inn. That darker guy sure is creepy, I wonder why he keeps looking at me like that.

Thank you Damiel, we'll see what we can do. Turning his attention to the others.C'mon fellas, let's go get ready for tomorrow.

*Steadies the dwarf, then heads back to the inn.* Wow, I hope that Gracie has arranged something a little...special for tonight.

Aren't we going out into the swamp?
Pixiedust is feeling confused, but happy to go back to the inn for some fun in the sack, but I took my rapier and bow out of hock for this??
And what did the tattooed guy mean when he said something about a tower? I really need to get some money, so if there is treasure to be had like our friend Vulgar has promised, then there is no time like the present!
*I play a jaunty tune to inspire my comrades in their ardor...and to get a move on out into the swamp*

Swamp in a bit, we'll wait for the morning when our axe swinger is a little more, well, axe-swingy and less ale-tipsy. This will probably mean morning, right?

And what about you, what's your deal? What're you doing with a flute, harp and harmonica? How do those things aid in exploration, anyway? And Pixiedust, what sort of lineage is that?

Okay you crazy bunch of drunks, I don't mean to alarm anyone, but somehow I can hear your thoughts!

I suggest we all retire and let you sleep this off before I have to listen to any more of this inane chatter...

I'll wake you all at first light so we can head out.

Any questions?

Any other questions?

After the events at the Alchemist lab the party heads back to The Rusty Nail for some r and r. When you ask Hulking Pug about the women he replies...

Really? The women here? You ARE adventurers. And he fixes you up with some local talent. Vulgar gets hooked up with a lovely young lady with big biceps, bacne, and an adams apple but he was so drunk he didn't care. Besides, s/he didn't have a beard and that was a step up for the dwarf.

Byron smooth talked his way into the lovliest lady of the bunch. Aside from the hairy nipples she was most certainly the highlight of his evening.

In the morning, spirits high with the excitement of starting your first adventure, you head out in the general direction suggested by the Alchemist. As you head out the west gate you notice another group of well armed men mounted on horses ... perhaps another adventuring party? They look to be very successful. The thought occurs to you that this adventuring business might just be lucrative.

Pixiedust casts a smile in their direction and it is returned with a scowl as a giant well armored half orc spits a wad of chewing tobacco at his feet. The "juice" splashes onto Pixie's boots and the giant warrior lets out a low rumbling growl that he suspects is a laugh. After a momentary challenging glare, he and his party head out the gates at a gallop.

Okay you crazy bunch of drunks, I don't mean to alarm anyone, but somehow I can hear your thoughts!

Alarming is your tendency to repeat what I've already said.

[b]When it comes to anything that might need investigating, I should be the one to take point. My time in the wharf district has had the fortunate effect on making me rather skilled at skulking. Give me some space and I'll come back with a report of what's ahead, or an arrow less. *Grins wickedly as he pats his shortbow.*

*As the party on horses approach, Bryon shifts comfortably to the side ensuring that there is enough room on the road for them to get comfortably by. He nimbly walks the edge, keeping an air of confidence and composure while giving way.*

To Pixiedust: Do you get spit at a lot? If so, we might have to reconsider our marching order. *Smiles encouragingly at Pixiedust after his teasing.* Shush with the humour, the last thing we need is a disgruntled party member, one who we don't know even know what his skills are.

After I sneak in to take a peak, we'll be able to formulate a plan and get the jump on any threat. My skills will also allow us to access any place that, well, one might want others to stay out of. *Smiles.*

*Moves to the side of the road closer to the swamp and focuses his attention on that area.* Say, does anyone have a better idea as to where these mushrooms may grow than just "the swamp?"

How rude. Must remember to stay out of reach of Kellic. OK, keep the sun out of my eyes and I will be rich.
I make sure the others see that I am armed and armored, my bow is ready at hand, and my hat is pulled low. I will sing jaunty marching tunes as we go, inspiringing competent perception checks so the half orc or other nasty does not surprise us.

Groan...By the blue balls of Torag am I ever hung over! My mouth feels like I have a old sock in it, and my head throbs. The sun is too bright and that black elf keeps singing...what have I got myself into? Being a blacksmith is what I know, it's what I was trained for...not being in the woods with a mis-matched group of wanna be adventures.

*looks at the black-skinned elf*
you know any songs to fix my hangover Blackie?

*Kellic cracks his nuckels and his gaze follows the riders as they gallop away*

Pray we don't meet again... You just made the "I'm gonna kick your ass list"

Lets go. And if we run into trouble, stay behind me and the dwarf, we don't want anyone getting killed on this one...

No, not this time... Not again...

*Kellic stares off to the right for a moment and then walks away*

The road out of the West gate heads due West for several miles and eventually the party comes to an intersection called "The Crossroads." The way signs point in all directions of the compass and the one pointing North is clearly labelled "The Cairnlands." With barely a pause the party heads that direction and noticeably the ground becomes wetter an more marshy.

Normally finding mushrooms such as these would require a survival check but as none of you have that trained but you do have a fairly detailed description of the mushrooms from Damiels droning speech I will allow a perception check DC 14 for finding the mushrooms you seek. Each of you please make a perception roll now. It is done with the following format ... sans quotation marks. The +x is your perception skill including racial modifiers and such

["dice"]1d20+x["/dice"]

Mushrooms...oh muuushrooooms, where are you?

1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24

There you are you little suckers are...OVER HERE BOYS!!

*bend over to collect some*

Nice roll Vulgar. On my phone so keep it short.

Mushrooms found: 1d3 ⇒ 2

1d20 + 9 ⇒ (12) + 9 = 21

On my phone. Tough to come up with those square brackets.

1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9
Oh, the pain in your head will pass, even though you smell like swamp gas, oh, the pain in your head will pass, don't chew the grass, Vulgar...does that help with the hangover? If not, I can recommend that a roll in the hay will do wonders...sadly, there is no one here for you.
I am not sure that my song has really done anything for the dwarf, but I think I've given him something to focus on... Hey, is that a mushroom? Ooops, that is the dwarf...my bad

An excellent roll Byron, but unfortunately this area has been cleared. You will need to move onward to search another area. But you do notice some tracks. Not being a tracker you can't be certain but it appears as if some horses came through this area recently. You've no idea how many nor how long ago.

Who took the poultice/ointment from the Alchemist? It should be recorded, along with the number of applications left on someones sheet please.

And one other thing, Pixie is an albino drow. He looks for all intents and purposes like any other above ground elf except he must wear sunglasses in the daylight.

We will each carry one poultice. I have both mushrooms in my satchel bag.

Let's move along, we're done here. There's more this a' way, I'm sure.

*points in slightly different direction than horse tracks*

Lets avoid the horse riders fer now.

*Nods* Agreed. If we come across anymore mushrooms on the way, great. We don't have to go out of our way for more company, especially in unfamiliar territory. Let's keep this tower as our focused destination.

Well, being untrained in survival, at best you can get a general direction for the horse tracks. So from that bearing you veer off to the West a bit. This will take you away from the direct line of the last known path for the tracks.

As for the marshy area and the mushrooms, well this entire area is quite marshy so you can most definitely keep searching as you go. Lets have another perception check please.

For Byron:

1d20 + 9 ⇒ (15) + 9 = 24
And so far no sign of big reptiles, that's good.

I believe we're getting close to the tower. Best not to let this mushroom hunt take us too far off of the beaten path or we will soon find ourselves unable to navigate the terrain.