We Be Goblins full series

Game Master Awenydd83

Chuffy looks over at Poog and his 'splody wand with a glare. Instead of kicking him like Rita suggested, he draws out his dogslicer and looks as if he is about to cut Poog, but instead uses the blade to bat the wand out of Poog's hands. "No fair using 'splody stick!"

Disarm: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (6) + 8 = 14

Mog: 0 dmg= 1 NL. Sorry, mate!

Mog throws a rock.. it hits, but only knocks the stirge unconscious. Poog fires off another round from his wand, killing the two insectoids left on that side of the swamp. Meanwhile, Rita finally manages to skewer her first stirge, the arrow piercing its chest.
Mad that all the stirges have been claimed, Chuffy pulls his dagger and tries to take the wand from Poog! But the goblins grip isn't the best and Poog dances away, laughing!

Each Stirge was worth 2 pts, added to the rest of the totals:
Chuffy- 6 pts
Rita- 8 pts
Poog- 22 pts
Mogmurch- 4 pts

Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh marches up to you as you are kicking off the human sized boots. "That was not what I meant.. but you did kill all the stirges. Fine then. Poog! You cheat.. but you cheat with splodies so you now win. Next CHALLENGE!!" she calls out, gathering the birdcrunchers to her.

The whole lot of goblins rush the chieftains-in-waiting back towards the birdcruncher cave. As you approach, the stink of rotten meat and spoiled milk grows into a horrendous miasma that is almost thick enough to see! Getting into the middle of the camp, you are finally able to see that the eye watering scent comes from a horrific "pie" that's been created in a 10 foot diameter bowl shaped depression in the rock. The bowl is only 18 inches deep, but filled with a nasty, not quite boiling hot slurry of spoiled milk, mud, swamp water, mashed up grass, and dead birds. The top is covered over with an incongruously delicious and flaky looking pie crust. Several cauldrons of boiling pie filling sit nearby, along with a number of large, dented metal funnels.

Wise mummy Sprattleharsh cackles at your looks of disgust. "This is last test! Giant birdmeat pie is still baking, but it needs some more ingredients! YOU!! You will be tied up and put in pie. You take all your gear, and first to make it out of the pie gets 10 POINTS!" (She hold up five fingers!) "The next gets 5 POINTS!" (now holding up three fingers) "And the last! They get NO POINTS!!" (Now holding up the rude finger!)

She looks back and forth between the four contestants, making sure you muddleheads understand her. Once she is sure she has your attention, she gives you a very evil grin before continuing. "But what is BIRDmeat pie, if just normal swamp birds? That not fit for CHIEFTAINS!!! No, Chieftains also get GOLDEN EAGLES in birdmeat pie!!!" she waves her hand, and a number goblins come up holding four golden eagles whose wings have been clipped. They eye their captors and predicament with obvious birdy ire!

"Killing Eagle for pie gets you 5 points too.. so have fun!!" with this, she takes a seat on a chair that has been brought for her and waits as the rest of the tribe rushes you, tying your hands and feet. As soon as you are ready, Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh brings out another thunderstone and tosses it into the air. WIth the thunderous crash, you are pushed into the pie while the eagles are tossed in around you!

Bold May Post
Chuffy- tied
Mogmurch- tied
Rita- tied
Eagles
~Red
~Blue
~Green
~Yellow
Poog- tied
Pie

A goblin has the grappled condition as long as her hands and feet are tied. A successful DC 18 Strength check or DC 22 Escape Artist check is needed to break free of the bonds—both are standard actions to attempt. A free goblin can untie another goblin’s bonds automatically as a standard action.All of the contestants and all four eagles are treated as if they’re squeezing (–4 penalty on attack rolls, –4 penalty to AC) due to the cramped quarters.

Rita tries to break her bonds. "Dis stoopid. I don't like swimming, and hate birds." Amazingly she's mad enough that she manages to break her bonds without much issue.

Strength: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 1 = 20

"Free me Rita! I'll cook them birds up good!" Mog pleads as he tries to wrestle free...

Escape: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15

...in vain.

Escape Artist DC22: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (18) + 10 = 28

Chuffy is used to a disgusting mess all over his body as so the soupy pie does not bother him as much as the others... one might almost think he's enjoying it even. He squirms around for a moment, then gets a wonderful idea; the white stuff is kind of slippery so he dunks himself into the vile mixture to grease up his bonds and easily slips out of them. "Hah! Now time to make pie!" He cackles with glee as he pulls his wicked looking dogslicer out! "No cut loose Poog! He cheats with 'splody stick!"

strength: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (14) + 0 = 14

The runt of the goblin squeals in frustration at the bonds. "No, Poog no cheat! Poog good help! Poog has feelgood stick! Poog help! Please!"

Did I see wrong? Pie has initiative? :P

You did NOT see wrong!! lmao!!

Rita is incensed.. enough that with brute force she breaks free of her bonds! She chooses to stay in the pie while Chuffy shimmies and wriggles until he too slips free of his bonds!

Mogmurch cries for help as he struggles in vain and the birds begin to peck their nearest adversaries!

R vs Rita: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9
B vs Poog: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (15) + 3 = 18
G vs Mog: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5
Y vs Chuffy: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20

Poog: 1d4 ⇒ 1
Chuffy: 1d4 ⇒ 3

Poog and Chuffy both take painful hits from the angry beaks!!

Poog tries to fight against his bonds but instead is left wimpering and bargaining for help!

As the struggle begins in earnest, the goblins surrounding the "Pie" grab the dented funnels and the boiling pots and start replacing the filling that has been splashed out!

Chuffy Fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11
Mog: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (14) + 6 = 20
Rita: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13
Poog: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14
Red: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10
Blue: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7
Green: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12
Yellow: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15

Almost everyone is able to withstand the added hot gooiness, until on of the goblins directs a funnel right over the blue eagle, singing its feathers with the foul hot concoction.

Bold May Post
Chuffy- 3 dmg
Mogmurch- tied
Rita-
Eagles
~Red
~Blue- 1 dmg
~Green
~Yellow
Poog- tied, 1 dmg
Pie

I'm not clear do we have our weapons?

Yes, you have all of your weapons and gear available!

Oh yes, wanted to ask. RAW, grappled condition doesn't stop someone from taking something from his gear. But from descriptions, Poog's hands and feet are tied, and so I'm not sure if he can still pull out a wand.

As you say, RAW says that you can still do it. However, seeing as how your hands and feet are tied, I will say that it will take a full round action of squirming to accomplish it.

Also, for the attacks, don't forget the -4 attack. Honestly, I forgot about it above, but the -4 AC does counter balance it and those attacks still hit.

Bold May Post
Chuffy- 3 dmg
Mogmurch- tied
Rita-
Eagles
~Red
~Blue- 1 dmg
~Green
~Yellow
Poog- tied, 1 dmg
Pie

Squeezed: –4 penalty on attack rolls, –4 penalty to AC
Grappled: –4 penalty to Dexterity, –2 penalty on all attack rolls and combat maneuver checks, can take no action that requires two hands to perform. A grappled character who attempts to cast a spell or use a spell-like ability must make a concentration check (DC 10 + grappler's CMB + spell level), or lose the spell.
TOTALS if still tied: -6 attack, -6 AC

Mog continues struggling to escape...

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 = 3

...but try as he might, the bindings refuse to come loose.

Oh for the luv of... this is not making me look like a chief.

"Hey! Come on and help a gobo out! Then we watch the birdies burn together!", he bleats out to the others.

Having some awareness that his frail build stands little chance of freeing himself. Instead, he squirms like a worm, which he rather resembles right now bound by the ropes and all covered in goo, trying to reach for his 'splody sticks, since it had served him so well so far. Finally, his fingers wrap around it and he whips it out! "Nasty birdies beware me powerful stick!"

"Don't you sploody us Pooog." Rita yells as she sees the stick. She pulls out her dogslicer and stabs at one of the eagles.

Dogslicer: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (6) + 8 = 14
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

Mogmurch tries to escape his bindings, but can't! He cries out to his friends for help..

Rita stabs at one of the eagles, killing it!

Attack: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (18) + 8 - 4 = 22
Dmg: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0
Chuffy takes a swing at one of the eagles beside him, but doesn't do much damage!

The remaining eagles each peck and claw at the gobos trying to fight their way free! Luckily for the goblins, they all miss!
Red vs Chuffy: 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (7) + 3 - 4 = 6
Green vs Poog: 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (17) + 3 - 4 = 16
Yellow vs Mogmurch: 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (14) + 3 - 4 = 13

Foregoing escape, Poog instead squirms and squiggles around pulling out his splody stick.. to the immediate dismay of everyone!!!

The surrounding goblins cackle with glee and add more filling to the pie!

Chuffy Fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (14) + 3 = 17
Mog: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 24
Rita: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (14) + 5 = 19
Poog: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10
Red: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21
Green: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 = 6
Yellow: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14

Bold May Post
Chuffy- 3 dmg
Mogmurch- tied
Rita-
Eagles
~Red- 1 dmg
~Green- 1 dmg
~Yellow
Poog- tied, 1 dmg
Pie

Squeezed: –4 penalty on attack rolls, –4 penalty to AC
Grappled: –4 penalty to Dexterity, –2 penalty on all attack rolls and combat maneuver checks, can take no action that requires two hands to perform. A grappled character who attempts to cast a spell or use a spell-like ability must make a concentration check (DC 10 + grappler's CMB + spell level), or lose the spell.
TOTALS if still tied: -6 attack, -6 AC

Need I remind you, our GM said... "A free goblin can untie another goblin’s bonds automatically as a standard action" and Mog could really be better help if he was FREE! Just in case you forgot. ;)

Mog stops wriggling, then just looks at the other goblins, a hard edge coming to his normally maniacal expression.

"GET...ME...OUT of here! Then we roast the feather heads faster, together!"

Delaying for others to free him.

"If I free you I might lose the contest, and me want to be chief." She thinks long and hard, and then unties him. "Don't splody me."

"No 'splody you!" Mogmurch says. Then with a quick flex of his now freed limbs, he reaches over and unties Poog.

"Now we ALL free! Burn the feathers time!" he shouts as he scrambles free of the pie.

Rita can be the new chief. As long as she listens to my smarts that is.

"Yay! Mogmurch! You the best! Best! Best!"

He starts swinging his wand quite enthusiastically but remembers his promise not to splody everyone else (and of course not himself). So he aims the aim to a space outside the pie, catching one of the eagles (red) in the blast.

wand of sound burst vs red: 1d8 ⇒ 1 fort save vs DC13 or stunned 1 rd

The team looks to each other and decides that despite the competition, teamwork would be best. Rita unties Mogmurch, who turns around and unties Poogs bindings. With a quick glance back to the rest of the group, Mogmurch climbs free from the pie to the combined cheers and groans of the watching crowds! he is chuffled off to the side, where he is given a chance to wash up and watch the remaining battle.

Chuffy also climbs out of the pie!

The eagles lash out at the remaining goblins!
R vs Rita: 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (1) + 3 - 4 = 0
G vs Poog: 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (13) + 3 - 4 = 12
Y vs Chuffy: 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (6) + 3 - 4 = 5
None of the snapping beaks manage to mar sensitive goblin skin!

Meanwhile, Poog swings his newly freed hand about and picks a safe (relatively) spot to release another sound burst! It barely does any damage, but it does manage to stun the bird for a moment!
Fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9

The Goblin tribe rushes over with more filling for the pie, and Poog gets scalded!
Rita: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10
Poog: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8
Red: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15
Green: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (16) + 3 = 19
Yellow: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20

Bold May Post
Rita-
Eagles
~Red- 1 dmg
~Green- 1 dmg
~Yellow
Poog- 2 dmg
Pie

Squeezed: –4 penalty on attack rolls, –4 penalty to AC

Chuffy- 11 pts
Rita- 13 pts
Poog- 22 pts
Mogmurch- 14 pts

I didn't mean to leave the combat, lol. It has been a while and I guess I forgot how it was all supposed to work. Can Mogmurch attack from outside or does he need to jump back in the scalding pie and continue to try to finish the eagles off?

Rita slashes at the red eagle in front of her. "If I can kill I get extra points. She screeches in frustration as she misses.

Dogslicer: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (1) + 8 - 4 = 5
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Mogmurch: Leaving the pie IS leaving the combat, and leaving the contest. Considering how things have slowed down, (my fault entirely) I am inclined to give you a re do here.. as long as you are sure of what you want. Remember, the goal was to be the first out of the pie.. but you also get points for killing the eagles.. so which will it be?

It's ok. I hate re-dos. Since jumping back in won't put him back in the contest, I will just role play it out.

Mog suddenly realizes his mistake as the goblin clan cheers and groans when he climbs out.

"Damn! Now I went and won this thing! I don't want to be chief! Maybe Rita or Poog will kill enough eagles to still come out on top! he thinks to himself.

"Come on you puny pie swimmers! Break those beaks! Flay those feathers! You want to loose to me?!?" he hollers from the sidelines.

He grabs a 'splody from his belt, wipes off any bits of pie residue on it, and thinks, I wonder what would happen if this suddenly found its way into the pie while all the other goblins aren't paying attention to me? Nah... I promised Rita I wouldn't.

Is the pie up?

Ok Mog.. we will do it that way. Recapping Rita's turn posted above and back to the game.

Rita slashes with her dogslicer at the eagle crowded in beside her but the squished confines prevent her from landing a blow.

The eagles keep screaming and biting! Rita takes a vicious gash from an eagle beak, but Poog manages to dodge both of the other birds.
RvsR: 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (18) + 3 - 4 = 17
GvsP: 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (1) + 3 - 4 = 0

1r2p: 1d2 ⇒ 2
Yvs: 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (11) + 3 - 4 = 10

Rita Dmg: 1d4 ⇒ 3

Bold May Post
Rita- 3 dmg
Eagles
~Red- 1 dmg
~Green- 1 dmg
~Yellow
Poog- 2 dmg
Pie

Squeezed: –4 penalty on attack rolls, –4 penalty to AC

Chuffy- 11 pts
Rita- 13 pts
Poog- 22 pts
Mogmurch- 14 pts

"Neh neh! Dumb birdies!" Poog gloats, as he sends another burst over the same eagle.

Not sure where Chuffy is exactly, but if possible, Poog will try to get both red and yellow. If not, then just yellow.

wand of sound burst vs red: 1d8 ⇒ 2 fort save vs DC13 or stunned 1 rd

Anyone outside of the pie is out of range of any spells. But with Rita right there, I am going to still have you target just yellow.

Poog taunts the birds as he fires off another burst from his wand, catching the yellow hued eagle full in the blast.
Fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 = 6

The goblins happily add more filling to the noxious pie!
Rita Fort: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13
Red: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11
Green: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5
Yellow: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11
Poog: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (12) + 5 = 17

The greenish Eagle gets scalded with a funnel of yuck right over its head!

Bold May Post
Rita- 3 dmg
Eagles
~Red- 1 dmg
~Green- 2 dmg
~Yellow- 2 dmg, stunned
Poog- 2 dmg
Pie

Squeezed: –4 penalty on attack rolls, –4 penalty to AC

Chuffy- 11 pts
Rita- 13 pts
Poog- 22 pts
Mogmurch- 14 pts

Rita stabs at the red eagle.

Stabby Stab: 1d20 + 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (6) + (4) + 8 - 4 = 14
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

Rita continues to try and even the score, stabbing the red hued eagle.

Red vs Rita: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14
Green vs Poog: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12

?: 1d2 ⇒ 1
Yellow vs Rita: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (10) + 3 = 13

The eagles lash out with their beaks, but are unable to hit the squirming goblins!

Bold May Post
Rita- 3 dmg
Eagles
~Red- 3 dmg
~Green- 2 dmg
~Yellow- 2 dmg, stunned
Poog- 2 dmg
Pie

Squeezed: –4 penalty on attack rolls, –4 penalty to AC

Chuffy- 11 pts
Rita- 13 pts
Poog- 22 pts
Mogmurch- 14 pts

Poog shakes his boom-stick. Hard. "Is it broke?" Whatever the case, Poog sends another blast amongst the birds!

Think I can get both green and yellow?

wand of sound burst vs red: 1d8 ⇒ 7 fort save vs DC13 or stunned 1 rd

Re Is it Broke?: Luckily the eagle's attack didn't land so I don't have to retcon anything but it should not have gotten a roll last round. I am sorry. I actually fell asleep while typing the post on Friday morning and finished it yesterday without rereading what I was doing!

Re G+Y: Yea, I can go for that. Those Arcs/cones/whatevers go from any one corner of your square and point in your choice of directions so I can go from the bottom right corner pointing up to get both.

Poog gives his wand a shake and fires it off once more, striking both eagles on his side of the pie, killing them both!

Once more, the Licktoads gleefully add more mess to the pie, scalding both Poog and the remaining eagle!
Rita: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10
Red: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8
Poog: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7

Rita, there is now room for you to 5ft step and no longer be squeezed if you so desire.

Bold May Post
Rita- 3 dmg
Eagles
~Red- 4 dmg
Poog- 3 dmg
Pie

Squeezed: –4 penalty on attack rolls, –4 penalty to AC

Chuffy- 11 pts
Rita- 13 pts
Poog- 32 pts
Mogmurch- 14 pts

Oops, the "is it broke" comment came from that the wand has only done 1 and 2 points of damage the last two uses. I didn't notice the eagle attack actually. :) But this round of damage makes up for it! Oh, sound burst is a 10ft radius spread

Rita stabs at the remaining eagle. She cackles as the attack hits.

Stabby Stab: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (20) + 8 - 4 = 24
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4
Stabby Stab Crit Confirm: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (3) + 8 - 4 = 7
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

My fault then, but lets not be greedy.. share some with Rita!!

With one last stabby stab, Rita slices the throat of the remaining eagle! The eagles dead and the pie getting hotter, the two goblins just stare at each other, breath heaving. As one, the charge together, wrestling to see who gets out of the pie first!

Rita CMB: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9
Poog CMB: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 1 = 20

Poog hops on top of Rita, pushing her face down into the disgusting muck! Before the she-goblin can pull her face out of the revolting morass, Poog scurries over the lip, leaving Rita cursing and spitting as Poog takes all the accolades!

Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh walks up and starts to raise the victors arm in the air.. but wrinkles her nose and retches instead.
"We have our new Chieftain!!!!" she screams out over the ecstatically cheering Licktoads.

She grabs a weird looking crown that looks like a combination of half destroyed top hat and a childs art project nightmare and plops it onto Poogs head. "You wear Crunchy Crown now! You the Chieftain! Time to Celebrate!!!!" and with these words, the Licktoads pick Poog up and carry him off to the banquet!

For the rest of the evening, the Birdcrunchers are in a celebratory mood—they have a new leader, after all! During this time, you are the focus of goblin pandemonium. Some of the subjects prostrate themselves before the new leaders, moistening their feet with kisses and runny noses, while others scream and sob and bring gifts of food and offers of goblin frolicking. Goblin after goblin comes forward to try to impress the new leaders—by juggling live stoats, by head-butting stumps, and particularly, by setting things on fire... themselves included.

Chuffy- 11 pts
Rita- 18 pts
Poog- 40 pts
Mogmurch- 14 pts

Mog seems quite satisfied with the election results.

I never wanted to win. I am just glad I didn't come in last... heh, Chuffy. he thinks to himself, a wide smirk growing on his face as he casts a glance over to Chuffy.

He quickly grabs up much of the gifts of food, and cackles with the occasional snort at any and all goblins that light themselves on fire.

"I've done that!" he says proudly to the others.

He thoroughly enjoys the night and at one point leans close to Poog, asking, "So, big chief, what's in the trunk? If there's big chief 'splodies, you gots to share."

Rita glares at Poog as he climbs out of the pie. "Me get you. You better make it up or you in big trouble. Me should be chieftain. If you didn't have your splody stick." She eyes the splody stick with venom.

She sits next to Pood and enjoys the festivities. "Yeah what's in the trunk. You have to share."

"What? Me win? Really? Me never win before..." A wide grin that threatens to split Poog's face in half spreads across his face. Not really hearing Rita's threats for now, he starts jumping up and down and around and around, repeating again and again in a sing-song chant, "Me win, me win, me win..."

As he is dancing around though, he catches Rita's glare. Then he spots the glare from Chuffy's evil knife. Those calm him down almost immediately. "Uh, me chief first rule. Me make council. Of equal. Rita Chief Champion! Mogmurch Chief Splody! Chuffy Chief Stabby! They say you listen!" He glances carefully at his whelpmates (for that is still how he thinks of them) to see if they are appeased...

Not quite certain if they are, he throws open the chest. "Share! Share! What mine is yours!" He does quickly grab the stick though, in case it is another 'splody one. He frowns a bit when it turns out otherwise. He then quickly grab a few choice bird and animal parts. Maybe make friend for Dogfinger. Or maybe snack.

(Serious mode: the rest are not quite as useful for Poog, except maybe the bead of force and necklace of fireball, but Poog already has a wand of fireballs. Might be good to spread out AOE attacks?)

He then turns back to his subjects, and waves magnanimously. "Dance! Dance! You and you! You and you! Hehe!" Poog starts getting carried away (mildly) abusing his power for his own entertainment. "You! You! Me want swamp worms! Red slime newt! Go! Go!" And of course, sustenance.

Rita looks appeased at her new title. Me not do that. Good Pooog.

She looks through the chest and takes the dogslicer"Me use this. Pretty." she says as she shakes the dogslicer and the blade is suddenly wreathed in flames.

She takes a set and points to various goblins. "Bring me foods, and drinks."

She takes +1 flaming dogslicer, and one of the Cure Mod Potions. Rita's happy to take the pretty necklace if no one else cares to take it.

I will wait to see if Mog wants anything, and I am messaging Chuffy to make sure he's still on board. I thought he had just gone quiet for a bit while he was out of the running, but I will make sure.

Mog looks at Rita and Poog as they eye the necklace, and with a wicked gleam in his eye he grabs it before either can take it.

Grinning wildly, he says "You take the potion of no-burning. That way when I throw fireball, you no burn."

He then takes a potion of cure moderate wounds, and the 5 ounces of sovereign glue. If Chuffy comes back, give him the elven cloak and the last potion of cure mod(we should all get one), or Mog will take what he doesn't(greedy little gobbo that Mog).

Rita grabs the potion of no-burn.

The team celebrates through the night, but the next morning dawns early. Through the haze of the after effects of their drunken revelries, Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh pokes you awake with her stick.

"Now youse Birdcruncher Chiefs, so you go fix Birdcruncherr problems! You go challenge Pa Munchmeat. He mean old ogre that kill lots of goblins. In fact.. last 6 chiefs be eaten by him.. now your turn to go end him!"

"Uh, ogre? Eat goblins?" Poog is still groggy from the celebrations the previous night, but her words certainly wake him up. He sidles carefully behind Rita... "Chief Champion, lead on!" he yells out in as confident (which is not very) voice as he can.

Rita grumbles at Wise Mummy Sprattlehars. "Me want sleep. Stop yelling. We take care of Pa Munchmeat soon." She pokes at the others. "Get up. We have an ogre to splode."

She stands guard in front of Poog.

"Ogre meats! I'm up, I'm up! Let's go get that ogre!" Mog says excitedly. "We've never had ogre meats before! I bet we can feast for the whole day or more!"

Mog adjusts his skull mask and then stands at the back of the group, letting Chuffy move in closer to Rita. He practically vibrates with anticipation.

"Point us to Pa Munchmeat! What can you tell us about him before we face him? He have any friends with him?"

Wise Mummy nods in satisfaction as the goblins get up and pay attention. "Good! If you survive, yous make good Chiefs! Now.. Before you go some things we know about Pa Munchmeat. Fire breathing pigs breath fire. Remember that. From both ends, depending on what they eat. Pa Munchmeat hits hard.. real hard. He splody one goblin just with a smack!! But that not worst.. He also casts spooky plant spells and has mean daughter. Mean daughter has pet weasel bigger than a horse! And that not only ugly monster out there, either!"

She shivers, then gives the new Chieftains a hard look. "You go make it safe for BirdCrunchers, or you not bother coming back!! But I help.. I make map." With a charcoal stick, the weird and scary woman draws a bunch of lines onto a piece of soft leather. After turning it upside down and to either side, she nods in satisfaction and hands it over, shooing you away!

"We be clever little gobbos and kill them good using smarts." Mog offers with a twisted grin.

He then grabs the map and looks at it with only the briefest of glances before rushing out to find the path to the ogre.

He calls back to his group from the trail, "That many others with Munch makes the fight different. We be sneaky and look before we fight. Right?" He then motions for the others to catch up.

"We be eating good after this. Fire Pigs! Ogres! Even a horse weasel! YUM!!"

Rita shakes her head, and follows Mog out of the village. "We be smart about this. We no go rushing in, and NO splodies until we are sure what's what." She tries to grab the mat from Mog to take a look.

Chuffy shakes from of the remnants of the pie from his body. "'Sploded one goblin just from whack? Rita, you biggest Chief, you go in first. Me come in an' sticks him in the back." He imitates a stabbing motion. "Me no like idea of fire pigs..."

Well, I think the site finally calmed down a bit. I do hope the Paizo IT staff made some actual fixes instead of just patching things...