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You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves illed as a result. Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned
down his hut.
That’s where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks—fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could
be your chance to go down in Licktoad history!
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We be Goblins, you be food!
Chuffy licks Mogmuch's head.
"You bad at secret keeping."
Chuffy crosses his arms and looks smug
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Chuffy goes to the ground and licks Mogmurch until he lets him go.
Poog who just witnessed them jumping, decides to join in the crazy
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As you grow tired of rolling around on the floor and licking each other you roll on your backs to catch your breaths and look up seeing a pompous overdressed goblin standing in the door way looking down on you.
"If youz are finished, we have _secret_ meeting now. Not draw attention of whole village by screaming at each others. You goes in now. Big meeting now."
Chief ’s Moot House is a veritable museum of Licktoad heroics— crammed with trophies such as stolen weapons,shiny bits of treasure,and the brine-pickled bodies of dozens of brutally slaughtered small furry animals (mostly dogs). His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad rules Licktoad Village from atop the great Teeter Chair, which is 6 feet high and allows him to more properly look down on his subjects (which includes you).
By tradition, Chief Gutwad does not speak directly to his
subjects (again, this includes you). Instead, he employs an advisor through whom he whispers instructions, for Chief Gutwad has convinced his
goblins that the words that come out of his mouth are so mighty that they might frighten away all the words in the heads of lesser goblins. Only his duly appointed advisor, (an overdressed, pompous goblin) named Slorb can handle the might of the chief ’s words without being overcome by fear.
Reta arrives a few minutes after the others; having missed all the good Goblin Licking Fun. She was too busy chopping the legs off caterpillars and then slicing them into their segments. As Reta enters the Moot House, her oversized eyes stare with a small hint of awe at Chief Gutwad; imagining what his words must sound like.
Poog launches himself at the area indicated
Poog first!
Reta glares at the over-anxious Poog, and for a moment, she wonders if his skull would make a good purse. However, she realized Chief Gutward might not like that. This time. Instead, Greta races forward to find a seat - directly in front of Poog. As she lands, splattering mud over Poog, she makes sure to position her over-sized head directly in front of his.
Poog grins. More mud of the chief on him. Poog doesnt mind.
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To your surprise and horror Great chief Gutwad starts to speak to you directly! In a deep booming voice he says;
"You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission. “You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks.
And it says there are more fireworks there! “I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!"
Great Chief Gutwad motions to Slorb and the pompously dressed goblin holds out a map for one of you to take.
"Youz goes out of Chief's hut now! I mighty chief have spoken!"
Chuffy tries to lick the map before one of the other goblins grabs it first.
Chuffy then goes chasing after that goblin.
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When you get outside you see the other goblins from your town busy preparing for the Big Feast already.
Goblins toil all afternoon to build the bonfire out of branches, sticks, and unburnt timbers taken from the ruins of Scribbleface’s hut. As night falls, a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teeter Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the bonfire, and the chief lights the fire with a magic stick which fires small balls of fire in lotsa pretty colours
This signals the start of an all-night party that features lots of good things to eat (snails, fish, and snakes)
The chief brings out a barrel of fermenting cider apples early on and most goblins get drunk very quickly.
If any of you want to drink from Chief's Special Fermented Apple Cider, you can..but you need to roll a Fort save.
Chuffy lick and Chuffy think,
Apple cider, drink drink drink!
Reta quaffs the wonderful cider, as much as she can find. And the cups she doesn't throw at Poog or Mogmurch.
Poog drinks and drinks. He throws stuff at Reta in response. He wasnt going to let her have all the fun!
Somewhat drunk from licking the apple cider a few too many times."Chuffy not scared of ole Squeely. Chuffy lick the Nord and show it who's boss."
Chuffy then breaks into song again
"Pigs may squeal and pigs may bite
But Chuffy's zeal is to spite
Surely by now we know my shtick
Chuffy's here to lick lick lick!"
Poog chimes in
Poog also take dare, Poog be not coward!
Poog points finger at the one who spoke, but decides not to burn him. Heroes need not heroes to praise them! Poog will burn him later
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Several goblins start to cheer. "Squeely Nord!, Squeely Nord! Let's go to the fierce boar! Watchim stomp on other gobbo's! There's even more then one victim to try! Lotsa and lotsa fun!" and then lead you to a muddy pit in the middle of the village, right next to the goblin baby cages.The pit itself is circular, nearly 20 feet in diameter, and just over 10 feet deep. All the goblins from the town surround the edge of the pit to watch to soon to come carnage. There is a pig tethered somewhere to the side.
A goblin with a limp tells you;"To face the Dance of Squeely Nord you must ride him for this many fingers worth of count", he repeats _this_ many (and holds up a different amount of fingers).
You can easily mount it and then it's released into the pit trying to get rid of you while squeeling the whole time..
In order to win the challenge you must ride on Squeely Nord for a full 18 seconds ()
)
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Mogmurch rushes to the pig and beats the rest of you to it. He sits down and Squeely rushes around in the pit as the rest of the goblins start to whoop with glee.
Mogmurch manages to hold on for 6 seconds after which the goblins watching start to cheer (cheer for Squeely Nord to toss Mogmurch off and stomp on his bones that is)
The goblins cheering seems to work because in the next few second Mogmurch is thrown off the pig
Make a DC 10 Reflex save or take damage as you hit the ground hard
The goblins watching from above point and laugh at Mogmurch, mocking him for falling off.
The next off you can try..unless your too scared too try now ;)
Chuffy not scared of piglet.
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Chuffy also tries to ride the wild boar, but it seems Squeely has mastered the art of throwing goblins of his back as Chuffy isn't able to last for 5 second on the pig's back after getting on it.
All the goblins mock Chuffy, pointing fingers, sticking out tongues and some even start to thrown small things at him (which seeing how they are thrown by drunk goblins all miss)
Chuffy; make a DC 10 reflex save as your thrown off or take damage as you hit the ground
"Chuffy have big head."
Poog growls and jumps up and down, but keeps himself from using his awesome powers to make them stop laughing
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Poog thinks to play it smart..wait a bit then when Squeely is tired from other goblins get on him and keep seated.
And at first it seems to work, Poog holds on for 5 seconds..then 10..the watching goblins start to hold their breaths...can Poog make it?
But no....Poog falls off just before he could have won. All the Goblins cheer and make fun of poor Poog. So close...but no cigar (or anything else really).
Reflex save DC 10 for Poog or take damage from falling on the floor.
Reta shows off a toothy grin to the other goblins, and then pops a caterpillar into her mouth - for good luck. "Greta just give time for goblins to watch others fall. Now Reta show you how have real fun!"
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As Reta moves towards the pig the watching goblins start to rub their hands...another one is going to fall..this one might even get trampled!
Then as Reta takes a seat and rides around on Squeely she manages to hold on..for 6 seconds..for 12..and almost falls off after 15..the goblins gasp and start to cheer..but Reta makes it! She doesn't get thrown off. The watching goblins are dissapointed. "Boo!"
When Reta get's of the pig on her own she is led in front of big Chief Gutwad on his "throne"
The chief motions to the pompously glad goblin at his side, who climbs up the chair and listens to while the chief whispers something. Then the chief hands him something and he climbs down again.
Slorb says in his nasal voice; "You'se proofed you'se a big hero of tribe now. You've earned this"
Slorb hands Reta a gourd.
"This be great important magical potion.It be Dragon Brew Gourd. You drink it, you belch BIG fire, then later..you belch another fire..and later then that..you belch another little fire"
Slorb then points at the other goblins
"Now's you'se who have to proof you'se also heroes of tribe! You'se do next dare. If you'se loose Reta can try to show how realz hero does dare."
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Slorb motions for a big fat goblin to come forward who is holding a closed wicker basket containing a bunch of bags.
"It be time for Dare of Eat Bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick"
He waits for the fat goblin to give each of you a bag which moves around in your hands when you accept it. When you open it to look inside you see it's filled with as many slugs as you have fingers (well...most of you barring accident will have 5 fingers). The slugs are as large as a sausage, black, covered in slime and wriggling.
"You eat slugs now. First one to eat all slugs without spitting out whole slug wins. If none of you winz, Reta can try"
Ditto. He will spit it out too
Only a few worms gave the cleric problems, the rest was very easy and chewy
Reta holds her hands up in victory after riding the pig, and eagerly accepts the gourd. She almost puts it to her lips immediately - after all, belching fire would be magnificent! But, she quickly realizes it might be better to belch fire when they find the fireworks. That would make for lotsa explosions!
As the other goblins eat their worms, Reta watches with glee - and begins chanting "Eat the worms! Eat the worms! Reta big hero!"
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Poog is called in front of the Chief.
There he recieves a really shiny dogslicer out of the hands of Slorb.
"This be mighty Gorge of Gluttons. It sticks horses real good. You win right to use it. Not to keep. Its mighty treasure of tribe. It belongs to Chief. You bring back when you find fireworks! You hear, you bring back! Not keep! Not yours!"
Slorb then says:"Few goblins proofs them be heroes or tribe, now you all proofs you can be sneaky at hiding. You proofs you can be sneaky like true goblins hero should. We play Hide or Get Clubbed now!."