Magic is incredibly powerful, but nobody truly understands how it works. That makes it a perfect topic for Rohkar Cindren and Erika Darou to study as they work on their Masters Thesis. While anyone can go down to the local Mage's Guild and watch novice spellcasters practice cantrips, these two scientists wanted to do something big. Naturally, this meant that they decided to travel to the Mana Wastes!
Devastated during a centuries-long war between the nations of Nex and Geb, the Mana Wastes is a strange and unpredictable place. In one place, everything's completely normal (at least for a desert wasteland), but 10ft away, magic may suddenly cease to work at all! To make things worse, the entire area is wracked with dangerous storms of Primal Magic where everything goes completely wonky. Naturally, Rohkar and Erika decided to set up camp right in the middle of one.
The five of you were hired to keep the researchers safe from harm while they conduct experiments. After all, it's not uncommon for ill-prepared travelers to be attacked by wild animals, mutants, or roving gangs of bandits. You're promised 1000gp apiece on their safe return.
The Vicar is, as always, impeccably dressed and ready to go.
Jack is glad to be out in the world on an adventure but after traveling through the Mana Wastes is a bit concerned that he may be in over his head.
Well met new friends. Bartleby Nutmeg at your service. This here is My Lil' War Pony.
"Very whimsical, Mr. Nutmeg."
"Hello Vicar, a fellow man of faith! Shall we discuss coordinating the blessings of our deities to maximize our success?"
"I'm here to get the job done... These suckers don't stand a chance. But hey, their money's good as any."
"Hello Vicar, a fellow man of faith! Shall we discuss coordinating the blessings of our deities to maximize our success?"
"Alas, Mr. Nutmeg, I think you'll find the particular blessings of the amorphous blight of nethermost confusion which blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity often prove resistant to coordination."
He clears his throat.
"Perhaps, since you seem to have a not-insignificant edge on me in terms of magical potency, you could supervise the healing of the main party while I stay closer to the clients and insure their safety. Unless, of course, you have an alternative plan."
"What kind of joker party is this? a child with a pony and a fancy dressed priest? This is gonna be interesting..."
"What kind of joker party is this? a child with a pony and a fancy dressed priest? This is gonna be interesting..."
"I think you will find Mr... Slasher is it? I think you will find Mr. Slasher that I am precisely the appropriate level of dressed."
Bob gives the Vicar a sinister smile.
"The name's Bob... And if you can fight half as well as you dress, then maybe we all won't be dead this time tomorrow."
Bob gives the Vicar a sinister smile.
"The name's Bob... And if you can fight half as well as you dress, then maybe we all won't be dead this time tomorrow."
"I do not 'fight', Mr. Bob, I am merely a vessel for the power of the boundless daemon sultan Azathoth, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time and space amidst the muffled, maddening beating of vile drums and the thin monotonous whine of accursed flutes."
He adjusts his sleeves.
"That is to say, Mr. Bob, I'm a healer."
"Boundless daemon sultan you say...? We will just have to wait and see how good of a vessel you are when the going gets rough."
Bob flexes his neck muscles followed by a sound of bones cracking.
"I suppose your healing services have no secret price tags involved, hmm?"
"I suppose your healing services have no secret price tags involved, hmm?"
"You wound me, Mr. Bob. Not all Chaos cultists are evil, that is an ugly stereotype. But I will rise above your base prejudices, Mr. Bob. I am nothing if not a gentleman."
"Ok Vicar, sounds like a plan, such as they are. Azathoth huh? I guess I may have heard of him...So many Powers to keep track of. Most of them are fine by me. Me? I just sort of worship nature and the old gods whose power is written in the runes on the old stones. I just try to keep things in balance. I suppose I could have been a druid, but it just didn't work out that way..."
"Bob, well met, those look like some fancy stabbers you have there, you don't see those kind of swords around here too often."
"What, these?"
Bob produces his two short curved blades in a quick flurry of improvised blows through the air, obviously showing off his skills.
"Well kid, you don't see warriors like me around often either..."
He gives Bartleby another grinning smile.
"Just be glad the three of us are on your side, eh?"
"Looks mighty impressive! I'm always glad to make new friends, and what better place to hang out with new friends, than, you know.. the Mana Wastes."
Bartleby wonders if he recalls anything more specific about the Mana Wastes.
"We meet again Bartleby, Let us hope this job goes as smooth as our other one" with that said we have a job to do so lets get to it.
"Indeed! Your arcane battle prowess is impressive!
Bartleby isn't aware of much concerning the Mana Wastes , but he does know a bit about Primal Magic zones. These are places where magic (sometimes arcane, sometimes divine, sometimes both) doesn't work properly - almost as if there's been a programming glitch. In one of these zones, when a spell is cast, there's a high probability of something unexpected happening in place of (or in addition to) the intended effect. A rod of wonder harnesses a small fraction of these Primal forces to work its magic.
After talking to the researchers, you also learn that the Mana Wastes is full of these Primal Magic zones. In fact, they picked this particular location because a roving storm of Primal Magic is coming this way, and it'll be a good place to observe first-hand what happens. As Erika explains, "One minute, everything's normal. Then it'll suddenly start raining centipedes. The next second, the bugs vanish, and you'll hear primeval chanting. Ten minutes later, everything turns inside-out! Then you're back to normal, but your hair turns blue. I think you get the picture."
A nearby section of desert suddenly begins to shimmer with constantly-changing colors. They're somewhat hypnotizing, but you get the sense that anyone inside the area would be stunned by their beauty. Rohkar jumps up excitedly. "Oh, look! The storm's reached us!" He and his partner quickly duck under a canvas awning and begin to scribbling furiously in large notebooks.
"I'm pleased for you, sir," says the Vicar.
He casts Shield of Faith on Erika.
"Brace yourself, who knows what is going to happen."
Leena unsheathes her longsword and casts Shield.
"Let's get this over with.
Bob prepares his two wakizashis in a combat stance.
With a quick tug Bartleby deftly undoes a large tower shield that was strapped to My Lil' War Pony, as it slides to the ground, he maneuvers his pony another 5' and lets a second tower shield slide off as well.
"Erika, Rohkar, if enemies appear, please get behind these shields and completely cover yourself, you should be totally protected from one direction. It won't totally protect you from targeted magic, which I suspect may be more of a problem, but at least it will grant some protection."
Bartleby then casts Shield of Faith on himself.
Jack draws his sword and dons his shield as he looks around.
"This is one crazy place"
The researchers look a bit confused but take Bartleby's Tower Shields. As Leena casts her protective magic, the primal area flashes and rapidly shifts through the entire color spectrum. "Ah, that's interesting," remarks Erika as the continues to take notes.
New Round
Only a moment later, both of your clients are shouting in frustration as the area surrounding you plunges into total darkness.
The Vicar walks up closer to the two researchers, and casts his other Shield of Faith on Rohkar.
Bob steps out of the fog and quickly positions himself 25 ft., behind the pillar, where he slinks into the shadows.
Recalling where everyone was before things got dark, Bartleby steers My Lil' War Pony to the northeast until he exits the darkness. Able to see, he will move to the north of the researchers and make sure his crossbow is loaded.
Leena slowly walks 10 feet south and takes a up defensive posture(total Defense).
The majority of you fumble your way free of the darkness and continue your defensive measures.
Round Three
"I say, isn't that a thing?" says the Vicar "Well, such is the nature of our business. Mr. Nutmeg are you familiar with any prayers to reverse something of this nature?"
The Vicar also tries to think of anything that could reverse his predicament.
Seeing the humanoids he sighs.
"Ah, well, it seems duty calls. I seem to have lost my crossbow inside of myself and I'd rather not risk more magic at this juncture so I believe this one is yours Mr. Nutmeg."
The Vicar is going to channel energy and see what, if any, effect it has on his wonderful new deformity.
Bob realizes he is unseen, and decides to use this advantage to strike a sneaky blow on a nearby gnoll, moving 15 ft. and attacking
Leena casts Acid Splash on the gnoll to her southwest
Leena then moves 5 feet south charging her Sword with power and attacks the gnoll to the south.
Bartleby shouts, "Erika, Rohkar, get behind the shields and take cover, we have enemies here! I don't know how long the darkness will last."
"Vicar, I am afraid I have only chosen blessings that will aid our defenses here, although I will see if anything appears obvious to me at a glance."
Bartleby briefly ponders the fact that maybe the humanoids are here to just trade pelts and beads, then launches a crossbow bolt at the leader, before backing My Lil' War Pony (with his knees), around and into the cover of darkness, reloading his crossbow.
"Vicar, be careful, I think that is your liver you are dragging through the sand. I'm sorry, that looks .... uncomfortable."
Bartleby manages to keep his breakfast where it belongs.
Confused that his light spell didn't work, Jack switches to full defense and steps carefully out of the darkness .
The Vicar's channeled energy proceeds to do ... absolutely nothing . Bob shanks his target for . The Mongrelman howls in pain but remains on its feet.
Leena's acid misses the Mongrelman and puffs into a sand dune - which promptly becomes a sand valley. Her sword, however, strikes true. Although missing vital arteries, it still inflicts a nasty wound. Bartleby's crossbow bolt is dead-on accurate, but the Gnoll Leader cocks his head to the side at the last possible instant, and the shot goes wild .
The bandits retaliate with a barrage of attacks. The Vicar barely dodges the big Gnoll's battleaxe but leans right into a whack from a Mongrelman's claw . Leena gets bitten on the arm by the fellow she wounded . Bob's target slams him with a boney fist . Jake gets clobbered on the head with a club . Bartleby hears a loud and feels a tiny object whistle through his hair but is otherwise unharmed .
Round Four
"Would that I wasn't inside out."
The Vicar channels positive energy again; at least this time it will have some effect.
Leena fights defensivly (total AC 22) and attacks the mongrelman to her south
Bartleby reminds the scientists to stay put in the darkness under the safety of their shields.
He rides My Lil' War Pony to the southwest out of the darkness (using knees), using the darkness hemisphere to hide from the leader gnoll to the east. Bartleby roars his vicious war cry which sounds more like a small child shrieking at a birthday party, attempting to draw the gnoll and mongrelman off of InsideOutVicar. "Iiiiieeeaaaayaaaahh!"
He fires a crossbow bolt at the gnoll by Vicar, and reloads it. (Subtracting 4 for shooting into melee.)
Bob spits out some blood on the floor after the hit.
"That almost hurt, dog-face."
He proceeds to retaliate with both weapons.
Bartley is concerned viewing the battle.
"Guys we need to regroup and form a tighter combat cluster, to minimize the amount of attacks on us. We are outnumbered and outpowered in melee against them I think. One on one like we are trying will go poorly. We should put the wagon to our back, and/or use the darkness to snipe at them from concealment."
"Keep your pants up kid, we got this! As soon as I make a few dents in dog face here..."
"I wish I could say I shared your optimism, Mr. Bob, but I fear that we may not live long enough for your stoic bravado to pay off. With our magic unreliable we will need some manner of tactical advantage to compensate for our numbers."
Bits of viscera drip from the horrific looking inside-out man as he opines thus.
Jack stumbles out of the darkness and is relieved to have a situation he understands as he slices at the Mongrelman in front of him.
" Take that you, whatever you are! "
Leena misses her attacker. Fortunately, her enemies miss as well. Jack executes a perfect thrust with his longsword, and his opponent drops. Bob, likewise, fells his opponent with a swift stab. The Vicar releases a healing burst, curing the wounds of friends and enemies alike. Bartleby's crossbow bolt pierces the Gnoll's shoulder. It grunts in pain and charges, but the Halfling's pony's sharp hooves keep it at bay. The Vicar's other opponent stares in confusion at the hideous monstrosity in front of him - unsure of what to do. The leader Gnoll, noticing the ease at which Jack dispatches his opponent, fires a bullet that hits the human right between the eyes .
New Round
"That got me now where. Time for a change in pace."