Maximo's Hideaway

Game Master Kobash

On a street at the edge of the Ivy District, just within sight of the Ascendant Court, is a tavern. Converted from a small theater, the establishment is unimpressive from the exterior, unless you consider that it still stands despite its age and a certain sagging to the foundation. Above the entrance hangs a sign.

~Maximo's Hideaway~

Inside a soft glow comes from wooden chandeliers bearing a fraction of the candles they are capable of. A haze hangs in the air from tobacco pipes and a small fire dancing within a stone hearth. The sound of a mandolin, strummed in the Taldor style, comes from a minstrel perched on a tall stool on a small stage. The ends of his long mustache are all that can be seen of his face below a wide hat.

"Greetings my young friends." Says a man from a booth nearby. In his middle years, he is handsome and distinguished, with dark hair and beard giving way to gray. He wears a well maintained military uniform common to officers in Taldor, though it is without emblem or rank and is about ten years out of style. Around his neck hangs a symbol of the goddess Shelyn. With a broad smile full of perfect teeth, he introduces himself like a performer on stage.

"I... am Maximo Interrestante. Welcome to my find establishment! Please, sit with me and share a drink." He turns to a middle-aged haggard wench and calls out. "You there, most beautiful of ladies! Yes, you, with the eyes like gleaming treasure. Be so kind as to bring to us some beverages to chase away our frightening thirst!"

"Ahhh, sometimes the vows I have made to the almighty, all powerful, all wise Shelyn are indeed hard to maintain. Such beauty, such grace," he pauses to consider the wench as she waddles away. "That must be jelly, because jam just doesn't shake like that."

Turning abruptly back to you he says, "So, my friends, you wish to hear my tale? My travels have taken me many places. I have forgotten more wonders than most will ever see! You can see I wear the symbols of Taldor, yes? That land is where I was born, many years ago. It was great once, and by my ancestors, it will be so again. It is for that purpose that I have joined the Society, to rediscover lost glory, or forge it anew with heroic deeds!"

Leaning back suddenly, he smiles at the wench returning with mugs of ale and a bottle of red wine. "Thank you, my dear!" He accepts with a wink. Filling a glass and raising it high, Maximo presents a toast.

"To the Pathfinder Society! And the Glory to Taldor!"

"To the glory of Taldor!"

The red headed regular raises a glass of wine, and takes a seat near the proprietor.

"I'll join you in that toast...or at least the first half of it." A well-muscled but somewhat androgynous man with long, fine hair tied back with a multicolored veil raises his glass.

"Woooooh!", seated at edge of the stage, an old decrepit Tian man drawls out a drunken cheer at the minstrel. Raising a mug, "Prlay some Frleebuhd!..."

A beautiful tattooed woman struts into the place cursing under her breath before taking a seat next to the red haired Taldan man.

"Stupid fragile beetle eggs, The trade prince will never understand."

"Greetings, lovely lady!" Maximo exclaims as Peri takes a seat. Somehow he manages a bow, even though seated himself.

"Do I sense trouble with your Prince, Princess?"

"No darling, I just don't do well with failing."

Alie trots in behind Peri, after seeing her more glamorous tattooed friend stride glumly into the bar.

"Chin up, Peri. We all have our goofy tasks given to us by our higher ups. I think they sometimes give us jobs they know we can't achieve, just so they can knock us down a little. I'm Alie, by the way," the gnome nods to the others.

Rowanna waltzes into the bar with a raven on her shoulder and takes a long look around before sitting at a table near the others. Pulling out some parchment and ink from a satchel, she begins writing. Once no one is looking, she draws a small dot into the table.

"Another beautiful lady!" Maximo beams as Alie arrives. "Alie, did you say? A pleasure to meet you."

Then Rowanna arrives. Perhaps she expected to avoid notice among the two beautiful sorceresses, but Maximo greets her with as much, if not more excitement. "And yet another beauty arrives! Shelyn surely smiles upon this old fool today. Please, join our table. I insist! Fair Mistress Gurtel, would you please bring more wine to celebrate such exquisite company!" He gives this last request to the ugly bar wench tending to patrons nearby. She gives a prune-like scowl at the old man, then waddles off.

A young Andoren walks in, rolling gait testifying to time spent at sea. He smiles a bit at the table of women. "Got here ahead of me, did you? Not surprising--I had to take care of a little trouble down at the docks."

"Ah, Kilian my old friend!" Maximo grins at Kilian, then turns to the women. "Kilian here is a great warrior. A veritable rock in battle! Hah!" He gives Kilian a wink, though it's a little unclear if he's poking fun at the man, or trying to talk him up to the ladies.

Kilian gives a half-smile. "I've had better days than that one. So have you, as I remember it."

"a rock in battle"...LOL! Kilian will have a hard time living that down.

It's the invincible Doorstop-Man!

"Hahaha..uh?" Apparently Maximo wasn't referring to the former assumption, and has suddenly come up to speed on his faux pas. He straightens his coat and clears his throat. "Yes, well, I should have known better than to toy with lady's cutlery. I won't make that mistake again, mind you!"

"Kilian, long time no see. How have you been?"

Rowanna takes a seat at Maximo's table at his insistence, packing her correspondence away in her satchel first. Once comfortably seated, her eyes sweep around the tavern, ”Interesting place you have here.” She offers with perfunctory politeness.

”Mmm, wine!” Her raven cries, but the young woman tsks at him.

”No wine for you, Morrey. We know what happened the last time you got drunk.” She scolds the bird.

After a few glasses of wine, a couple mugs of ale, and some decent conversation, a messenger arrives at the Hideaway, approaches the gathering of Pathfinders, and delivers a letter to both Maximo and Alie.

After reading his, Maximo looks at Alie with a grin. "Pack a kimono, we are headed to Goka!"

A tall half-elf slouches into the bar, unstrung bow over one shoulder. He sits down at the bar and, after a long awkward moment, points wordlessly at a bottle of wine behind the bar and holds up a coin. He nurses the wine, hunched over the glass and not saying anything.

"High five, Maximo! Lets get to it," Alie says excitedly, as she hops down off her chair and heads for the door. "Ive gotta pack...sounds like its going to be a cold one!"

The messenger also drops off a letter for Kilian. "Huh...the Fenwall Mountains? Could be interesting, I suppose. Safe trip, you two." With that, he's off.

The louche fellow in the fine clothes has time for one more glass of wine before he, too, receives a summons. "Well, well, well. Druma, then points north. So the rumors about Mendev are true...." He leaves a generous tip, gives the waitress a warm smile, and heads out.

Drunk on fermented tea, Mu's head lay sideways on the table, a string of old man drool escaping out the side of half-teethed mouth. Startled by the barmaid tapping him on the shoulder, he wakes with a startle. ::nugh!:: "floorlicking! -ugh no -huh?", he blinks at the woman in a slurring drawl, "-you botha my dlream... ::zZZzz:: -I was a gobrin chief..." He orders more, sending the barmaid away, then sees a sealed letter someone left for him on the table while he was passed out. "What the fluck is this?...", he says in drunken irritation and opens the parcel.

Peri opens a letter she received on the way into Maximo's she reads it and slyly smiles.

"Well it looks like that 2 Crown courtesan Amara Li is once again requesting my services. I'm going back to Goka see you later darlings."

Funny, this letter mentions nothing about Allie, I guess we have different business to attend to.

The doors to the establishment open and a road-weary, slightly disheveled, yet still handsome, Maximo enters. The normal spring in his step is noticeably lacking as he makes his way to his favorite booth, the one with a banner of Taldor hanging on the wall above. Without ceremony, he drops his pack, shortbow and quiver, and warhammer, with a thud, clang and rattle, but leans his greatsword against the seat with care. He then slides into the bench with a groan. The heavy-set serving wench appears, almost as if summoned by magic, with hands set on sturdy hips and lips set in a dissatisfied purse.

"M'lady, I have returned." Maximo forces a grin at the woman. "Have my manservant Pin Che tend to my trappings, and bring a glass of Alkenstar Ice-wine post haste!"

"You have no manservant, and we're out of Ice-wine." The woman snaps. "I'll dig up some Taldoran red." With a sniff she turns towards the bar. As she does Maximo lets out a small sigh and slumps a little in his seat, looking very old.

"HOLRY CLRAP!", Mu exclaims and checks the back of the envelope. ...Dated the 14th of last month, obviously the pace of the Absalom Parchment Service needs some Haste potions; and even more obvious that Peri's summon was even dated before his letter. "The Rlantern Rlodge is no moah?!", Mu shakes his head in disbelief and slams down the letter on the table with a litany of Tian curses, "Moo gai yang soh koi jin!"

Little halfling Shel enters the pub. "Hello everyone...anything exciting going on? I'm expecting a mission in a couple weeks, but I've got a bit of time to relax for the time being. That's not happened since I joined up to this place!"

Looking at Maximo, she can't help but utter, "Long time no see, old timer? What's got you down?"

Didn't Maximo and Shel run in mortika's adventure together?

"Yes Lady Shel, and I was there too. I believe we also went to Qadira together as well."

"James, my friend, I didn't even notice you over there! How is life treating you? Any fun adventures?"

Seated behind an impressive array of empty cups (not all of which are his by any means), Kilian waves to the halfling. "Hello, Shel. How have you been?"

James extends his hand to the halfling in a gesture of good will and appreciation

"Ahhh Kilian, with his Stoney demeanor beckons us."

"Shall we"

The Andoren shakes his head, smiling slightly. "On my deathbed, I swear, I'll still hear comments about that. It's a millstone around my neck."

Shel cracks up and moves to sit beside her friend, Killian. "To be fair, K., not many Pathfinders can honestly say they were turned to stone in one of their first missions."

Shel leaned in and whispered, "You know, people seem to forget I ended up in the same shape as you. I think it's your rock solid personality, personally."

"People tend to remember the large boulders they encounter, not so much the pebbles Lady Shel."

"From what you told me, though, there was enough blood to fix you up right away. I was a stumbling block for the party until you were done."

Maximo doesn't respond to Shel, and after a moment a snore escapes his lips. Apparently whatever is ailing him demands a good nap.

[hours later]

::zZzZZzz:: Huh?, Mu wakes up from another nudging envelope, seemingly falling out of nowhere. (But he knows there's a ninja around) He breaks open the seal and reads, "An innveetation to join the-, he continues silently, then creaks off the chair and grabs this hat and cane, "Okay, I go."

Kilian follows the wizened Tien out of the bar, smiling. "They're actually sending me home!"

The sound of conversation outside the bar grows louder, as if the speakers are walking towards the entrance. The door opens, revealing a trio of regulars and a dwarf with a greatsword. Kilian's voice continues, clearer now. "...the *hell* did it move so fast on those short little legs, anyway? I still feel like a pincushion. Anyway, the mission isn't over with until we're through at least two rounds, and the first round's on me."

[]"I hope I never see a damned quickling again, that's for sure!"[/b] The dwarf walks on in, looking for a place to place an order.

James swaggers into the room with the others.

"Where in the nine hells is everybody at?"

Maximo's head pops up at the sound of a fellow countryman's voice.

"Is that the glorious sound of a noble Taldan I hear!" He looks about, slightly disoriented for a moment before finding James and Kilian. "Aha! Sit down my young friends, the first round is on the house!"

"如果我的舌头，我的眼睛，我会很盲目!"

"This taste like yeti testicle!" The old Tien gnome exclaims, scowling with one eye wider than the other at the old man nearby. Short even by the standards of his race, he wears a simple hooded hanfu made from a material of the deepest black. "When you say you are great kook I thought you mean maker of food! This is like rotten egg seasoned with spell component! Look! Even Pu think it awful!"

A white-furred monkey sits on a chair next to the gnome, pawing desperately at its tongue.

"What fool give you job here?" The gnome looks around Maximo's Hideaway as if seeking an enemy to challenge.

”You would kno what that taste rlike!” (yeti testicles), Mu takes back the squarely folded palm-leaf container, moderately hurt at his failed recipe. ”It not bad!!”. He takes a bite of the gelatinous morsel, but could bearly contain the convulsion and tear at the corner of his eyes. Mu Ping storms back into the kitchen and shouts to the crew, "Throw it out! The Emperor don't rlike it!!"

A few weeks later...

Shu pokes his head into the Hideaway, peering about with his lopsided glare before scurrying across the room and popping up at a table. A second later his monkey Pu pops up next to him. Shu waves over a server and orders some food and drink then produces a arcane book and buries his nose in it.

When the food arrives he takes a small bite without even looking at it. A moment later he stops chewing and takes a moment to contemplate. When the server passes he waves him over.

"This not bad! Good thing you get rid of old cook, eh?"

He reaches into his pouch for a tip.

A sudden crash of skittering pots and pans precedes a kitchen door swinging open. ”Get out, get out!”, Mu chases a young Ulfen cook,”Nobody want to eat your defrlated blread with nightshade sauce! And take this cookbook with you!”. He hurls a pamphlet at the chef dressed in white and threatens him with a block cleaver as he marches back to the kitchen, "Don't let me catch you heah again Woofgang Phuc!"

Shu's smile melts as Mu's tirade dooms the poor kitchen. Taking his plate, he slides down in his seat to avoid the old man's notice while he eats his final good meal at Maximo's.

"Pardon me, are you the Pathfinder called Shu?"
The young voice spins the old gnome's head around to find a porter from the Grand Lodge addressing Pu with a letter held forth.
Shu sits up and snatches the letter from the boy.
"I am the great Shu. He is monkey! You must be idiot!"
Opening the letter he reads for a moment and smiles at the prospect of another chance to travel the world, meet interesting people, and insult their pitiful intelligence.
"Come Pu! I am needed!"
He shovels a few bites into his mouth, stuffs the book back into his bag, and prepares for another adventure.

His trappings in order Shu chuckles and makes for a stealthy exit before Mu notices him. His chuckle cracks as he reaches the door and looks around.

"Pu?" He tries to whisper, not realizing the sneaky monkey is riding on his pack.

Shu Stealth: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (4) + 11 = 15
Pu Stealth: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (13) + 10 = 23

Back in the kitchen. "Hoi, monkey, what's this?", Mu sees Pu holding out a letter, addressed to the two Lantern refugee members of the Grand Lodge. "Wheahs yuah quack mastah?", he asks as he reads "-mission...Valrisia...Heidmach...".

When Pu gives the he left gesture, Mu looks out the door port just time to the old gnome tip-toeing out. "Wheah you think yuah going?! Get killed by yuahself?!, Mu grabs his barely settled gear, sets the abacus board to number of days he'll be gone, and dashes after Shu.