Muziel starts to hear his stomach growling as he approaches the Last Stand Tavern. "I could sure use some more pie," he mumbles. But he could buy plenty of food once they got their reward.
"So . . . where do we want to put the notice?" asks Muziel from his perch atop the carriage.
Front door makes the most sense to mePenelope suggests, and will do so unless anyone objects.
Cimri frowns thoughtfully. "I spend a lot of time in there, and I don't ever remember seeing a job board in there. Front door makes sense, or perhaps even the front porch right were people come in. That way even people who aren't going in can see if if they just walk by."
"So let's do it and move on!"
Maybe you should be renamed Grumpy Penelope states then taps the notice at the front porch as Cimri suggested. Next is?
Shortly after Penelope starts hammering the notice into the Last Stand's front porch, the front door to the place bursts open. Bolgart Caggan, holding an enormous pot of hot chili and a large wooden spoon looks wildly around until he spots the source of the banging.
"Hey! HEY!" he shouts, waving his spoon at Penelope. "What the hell do ya think yer doin', hammerin' away at my porch?! I just had this thing polished!" The fuss draws the attention of what few patrons and guests of the inn are there at this hour, a few of which slip out to watch what's going on.
Get that spoon out of my face now or I'll shove it so far up... Penelope's already annoyed and this innkeeper isn't helping her mood, but stopped mid sentence trying to hold in her temper, spoiling the effect a bit
Nikolai looks out of his carriage with true disdain Commoners...how I loath them..."Official notice by order of the Archbaron. I've seen fertilizer sheds with more shine! Now go back in your hovel."
Bolgart angrily reads over the decree, his face quickly growing as red as his hair with the extent of his rage. He swings his spoon to point at Nikolai, splattering a few droplets of chili sauce on his clothes.
"You don't like my porch, you don't have to look at it," he says. "Consider yourself unwelcome here." He turns back to Penelope and the notice, swinging the spoon back to point at her. "This ain't gonna work for me. I can't run my business with such tight restrictions. You take this piece of crap back to your precious Archbaron for revision. I'll not have it on my property."
Oh yes you will you overgrown gas bag, or I'll nail it to your ugly head! Penelope shouts back.
The shouting escalates to the point where, angry beyond reason, Bolgart suddenly tries to dump the pot of boiling chili on Penelope's head. It's not a very good pour, however, and it doesn't manage to do much but splash ineffectively on her boots. There's a collective gasp from the bystanders by the door.
In the aftermath of the failed chili attack, Sister Ismene and Muziel are the first to react.
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Round 1 Initiative #10
Amused by Bolgart's angry reaction Nikolai is inspired to perform a satire
"Oh ho angry Bolgart,
Ugly face, no heart
Watch that chili bowl
Or Penelope swallows your soul
With that wooden spoon in hand
Are you ready for your Last Stand?"
Ismene watched the argument as it heated up, waiting for it to boil over and get physical. Asmodean law, labyrinthine as it could be, was unusually clear on matters of unprovoked assault. But Bolgart, the dunce, made the move Ismene had been hoping for. "Wrong move!" Grinning ferally, she lashes out with her leg in retaliation.
Round 1, Initiative 19
"Hey, that was a waste of some perfectly good chili!" cries Muziel. He doesn't intervene for now, but his perch atop the carriage is a great spot for him to zap the first person who tries to come to Bolgart's aid.
;
Bolgart sees the Asmodean monk's move coming, and tries to sock her one on the jaw before she can pull it off, but Sister Ismene is much to quick for him and she deftly sweeps the legs out from under the bartender, who hits the deck with a thud and a groan. While Muziel scans the knot of onlookers to see if any of them are planning on helping the man, he tries to return to his feet.
He grunts again from the impact which, when combined with Ismene's quick maneuvers and the fact that he's well out-numbered, seems to be enough to convince the man to back down. "Uncle," he growls, angrily, going into a defensive stance just in case his surrender isn't accepted.
I will delay.
Seeing him uncleup, Penelope won't press, just glare.
Nikolai will not change his action thanks for opportunity
Bolgart grumbles some more and begrudgingly heads for the door, leaving you to finish your business. He pauses briefly as he passes through the portal, pointing to the lot of you. "None of you are welcome here anymore. If you wanna drink, you can try the watered down swill at the Arch and Lark. You'll get no service here!" He disappears inside, followed by the knot of bystanders.
"Damn," mutters Cimri. "I really like this place. Ah, he'll probably get drunk and forget. Probably." She doesn't look too sure about that, though.
"Yeah, well we're gonna move on to bigger and better things anyway," says Muziel, though his tone also suggests disappointment.
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Once you're sheriff he'd dare not refuse you, Cimri. Penelope points out. To the next bundle of joy? she'll jump back on the back of the wagon.
"You like this place? Why on Golarion dear girl? We have the Arch and Lark to enjoy as our own. A place of loyalty and taste, or as close as you come to in this backwater. " Nikolai sits up in the carriage and looks over the decrees. "Is it time to tell auntie shes no longer sheriff? This is going to be entertaining. "
"So who is delivering that good news?"
"But it's stuffy and boring there, and the drinks are terrible and overpriced," Cimri complains, sourly. She sighs. "We can go deal with Aunt Rhona now, if you guys really want. I've got the letter, so I can tell her, unless someone would much rather do it themselves. I'm not sure that could be any worse for me than getting cut off here. It's your carriage, so you get to say where we're going next, just don't forget about the notice post in the church square, and that we also need to put a notice up at the jail, either before or after we fire Aunt Rhona."
Festus dutifully waits the be instructed of the next destination as everyone gets back in, on, and around the carriage.
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"Pitiful fools these people are to protest the proper laws of the land. As if their opinions mean anything to the grand engine that keeps order in Cheliax. Anyhow, yes if that is the last of the deliveries then we shall head off to visit Rhona and see she is removed from her post. If she responds violently, we can handle her easily."
"Perhaps we should consider the possibilities. Does anyone want to be sheriff? If so this might be a good time to make good with the old guard so to speak. Its more of a task for Lust, Pride, Wraith or Envy. On any account I will accompany you Cimri since you have a lack of words and noble sensibility. " Nikolai says matter-of-factly and with a complete lack of empathy.
Penelope laughed Me, sheriff, I don't think so. But let's get this over with.
"While we have joked about it, all we're supposed to be doing is giving the old sheriff the boot, not anointing a new one, correct?"
"I don't know, seems like we can name an interim sheriff, right? Anyway, time to give that hag the boot!"
"Or perhaps to Church Square first?"
Sheriff, next, I think at least. With the ruckus we're causing everywhere we go, she might get word and be better prepared
With its unevenly mortared stones and barred windows, the squat structure of the jail looks like a miniature fortress. Despite the row of horseshoes hung beneath the sign, nothing can make the plain word 'jail' look welcoming. Two wooden pillories stand empty in front of the building.
Inside the building, a spacious common room contains three desks and a table with four chairs. To the north a short hallway leads to the two jail cells. To the west a waist-high railing separates an area of the common room as the sheriff's office. Rhona and her four deputies are sitting or standing around the table in the common room enjoying a morning cup of tea and grousing congenially about the minor annoyances of the day. The conversation comes to a slow halt when people arrive.
"Cimri and friends," she says, somewhat guardedly but with the smile she was wearing when you came in obviously forced to stay on her face. "Funnily enough, I was just thinking about the lot of you being here. I had no idea I had the gift of prophecy. I'm so very eager to find out what brings you this way."
Muziel stays quiet, but looks to see what weapons the sheriff and deputies are armed with, or if there are weapons lying nearby.
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Nikolai looks at the deputies "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Lord Nikolai Sarini of house Sarini. Could I ask for the four of you to follow me outside while we let Cimri and her aunt speak in private" Nikolai asks politely.
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Muziel notices that the deputies are armed with truncheons, saps and crossbows. The sheriff currently carries an ebony-handled longsword.
The deputies look to their boss for her reaction first before agreeing to anything. Rhona Staelish crosses her arms for a moment, silently assessing the situation before giving them a small nod. They wait for everyone but Cimri to exit before they follow themselves leaving the two Staelishes alone inside.
Outside, the deputies stand awkwardly waiting, watching everyone suspiciously. About a minute and a half later Rhona reappears. She's no longer wearing the black vest embroidered with the symbol of Cheliax and the longsword is missing as well, replaced with a crossbow. Cimri follows a few steps behind, looking smug.
"I've been relieved," she announces to the deputies. "As I've come to expect from him, Fex is too cowardly to do his dirty work himself. I worry for the people of this town with whatever thug he decides to put in my place." She gives each and every one of you a meaningful glare before stalking off down the street.
"This ain't right," says one of the deputies, angrily. "He can't just throw out the town's only justice. We won't let this stand. It ain't right." The other deputies mutter and nod their agreement as he starts to draw his crossbow.
Penelope smiles, feeling the blood rising, puts her hand on her sword hilt, thinking she'll go for that one's throat... but doesn't voice her desire in case one of the others choose words over much more fun bloodshed.
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Amanda goes up to the agitated deputes and says, "My dear deputies of the watch, your role in the bureaucracy that runs this city is important. I am sure the Baron wishes to maintain law and order in this city but has another person better suited for the job at hand. You would not want to jepordise your pay, families and livelihood by betraying your oath to protect this city by doing anything rash would you? After all if you can't trust those who enforce law of this city to do their jobs, then you have nothing but anarchy do you not?"
Nikolai adds, in kind of an awkward and self-centered way "Sorry about the Sheriff, but I am performing at the Arch and Lark exclusively now and I would like to invite you as my personal guests to see the performance. Please tell your friends to come too."
"It would certainly vindicate the wisdom of the sheriff's removal, if the deputies were to engage in lawlessness following her lawful removal. One could definitely be expected to draw the conclusion that she old sheriff had been a cancer among the lawbringers of the city who needed to be removed. And those who begat lawlessness would also need removed, presumably."
Ismene smiles wickedly, winking at Cimri, but suppresses the urge to laugh in Rhona's face. "If you feel like drowning your sorrows, the Last Stand should be open for a few more hours!"
Cimri returns Ismene's wink as the deputies glance incredulously at Nikolai and his timing, but otherwise the message seems to be understood, as does all the other attempts at defusing the foursome's ire.
"Not the time or the place," says Ertha quietly, putting a hand on Curtwyn's crossbow before he can load it. She turns to the rest of you pointing off down the road where Rhona went. "There is nobody better for this town than she was, and I will work for none other." She takes off her own, deputy's vest and throws it in the mud at her feet.
"Aye," agrees Curtwyn immediately, doing the same after putting away his crossbow. Ashel and Saster nod and follow suit. "Tell the Archbaron that his new sheriff is going to need a new staff as well." The four of them turn to leave in disgust.
"That went well," says Cimri without waiting for the ex-deputies to get any distance. Even from behind, Curtwyn can be seen to visibly wince. "So who's got those decrees? We need to put one here, then move on to the church square, then get paid!" She seems to have regained all of the enthusiasm she had lost after Caggan had declared the Last Stand off closed to her.
Aw Sense and Logic, the destroyers of fun. Penelope musses, and taps up the next to last notice on the wall.
Kolaiah nodded, "aye, that could not have gone better."
"A bit bitter aren't they? Perhaps for the best they left too, will make it easier for a new Sheriff to take command with a crew of their own. Too bad they didn't want to witness my greatness at the Arch and Lark it is going to be a magnificent show, much better than that non-sense they are peddling at that last stop." Nikolai adds as he gets back in the carriage.
Still a little upset at losing the Last Stand, Ismene scoffs at Nikolai as she climbs into the carriage. "Y'know Sarini, you're a real class act." The prospect of posting the Archbaron's decree on the door of the church cheers her up. It's about time we get to stick it to those smug Iomedaens. "Dibs on posting the last one!"
"Thank you Sister Ismene, I take it as a compliment even if you meant it otherwise. These cretins get what's coming to them in this town. I look forward to giving it to them." Nikolai smiles sadistically for a moment, once everyone is in the carriage he calls to Festus
"Festus, we have more of these to hang I am afraid. Make haste, I am losing beauty sleep." He looks into his mirror and sighs "This sun will be the death of my soft skin."
"Sure, you can have dibs," Cimri says, shrugging. "I don't see what's so exciting about nailing something to the notice post, but I guess you monastic types get your jollies where you can find 'em, eh?" She chuckles as she, too, takes a seat ready to go.
Festus nods wordlessly and the carriage once again springs into motion, soon pulling into the church square. The place is much as you left it last, with the exception of the large blackened spot in the middle of the square where yesterday there had been a massive fire. In the square, near the corner of the church yard's fence, stands a fifteen foot tall wooden post, scarred by nails and plastered with faded bills and pronouncements. It rises from the bed of posies that grow along the entire outer edge of the church's fence, but not so deeply in as to make it difficult to reach. A verdigris-stained copper archer swivels atop a a squeaky weather vane at the post's summit.
"You're up, Is," says Cimri, elbowing Sister Ismene in the side in a friendly manner before getting out and stretching a little. A decent number of people who had been passing through the square stand around watching the fancy carriage and the people coming out of it.
Kolaiah shrugs and acts innocent as he points at the scorched earth, "looks like something unfortunate happened over there."