Group two: We Be Goblins (Inactive)

Game Master TheHairyAvenger

Darts,despite his lemon-yellow hide that stuck out starkly in the darkness amongst the green skinned crowd,swaggered up with a sly grin.

Darts say make this even more fun-fun, the yellow goblin declared.Two prizes.Two goblins.Darts against Slicy.Who be Sneaker of Brinestump Marsh?

Diplomacy1d20 ⇒ 14

@Korg, what you wrote is a bit out of line.

"Slicy no sneaker, Slicy killer"

Slicy laughs, gives the evil eye to Korg and the chief. Sexual favors are off the table. If the whole group, Nuggles, Korg and Darts take part in the hiding she will go. Slicy would rather continue drinking and harass Slorb.

What? Eating humanoids is totally fine but as goblins even hinting at sex is out of line? I assume you also consider the GM talking about "Nug Nug" earlier out of line then? sheesh

you implied rape or prostitution which is a bit different than sex, so sheesh yourself

"...goblins aren't people, its not cannibalism. Do what you want to do", hypocrite
Not to mention, the GM also made females run after fleeing male goblins, and you have nothing to complain about, it isn't as if Korg tried to rape you then murder you after it, he has no reason for that yet. Would you have complained if the GM would have written that males run after fleeing females? Goblins are primitive beasts, not that unlike humans, this is a campaign where chaotic and bestial things may happen, your character is all happy to eat sentient beings, mine has other preferences. All I did was to read up on goblins and take up the pace and theme/style of this RP.

Bullshit, it was not cool and you know it. You are comparing Apples and Oranges and that is a fact. Goblins eat humans because they are not humans.

"I don't see how my comment was anything bad or "not cool" considering it only hinted at something you decided that it had to be about rape , but even if it were true, my character is mine to decide what I would act and speak like with it.
If you want to kill me feel free to try, I didn't pour my points into strength because before the GM said this is just about lvl 1 I planned for advancement and life story, and my character is giantblooded and at lvl 3 would take yours over if you remain pure fighter. Anyway, I stop this discussion right here, it already irked me how you criticized that some players decided not to eat something, if you have further ooc complains about how others play like talk to the GM. I did, and I don't want this debate take up any more IC room.
EDIT: I see you deleted a part of your comment, meh"

Darts blew a raspberry at Korg and Slicy, turning around and waving his rear.He gave it a sharp slap,taunting them.

Neh neh---never gonna catch Darts! Buncha slow farts!

Before either could react, the yellow gob zipped into the undergrowth of Brinestump Marsh that sat at the edge of the village.Plants shivered and his sniggering led away into the fog-shrouded swamp.

1d20 + 17 ⇒ (10) + 17 = 27Stealth check.Awww...crud.That's what he gets for being drunk AND yellow!

Nuggle get out. He thinks while he tries to flee.

Stealth: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (14) + 16 = 30

Seems to vanish completely.

The Goblins stand several moments with there eyes closed "1...2...3...4...erm...1..." Before opening them again and charging off to find you.

The Goblins search for what they feel is hours but is actually only a few minutes. None can find you hiding. After a while Slorb shouts out "I have special ring that lets you climb real good. Come get it. This is loan from chief."

The ring is a Ring of Climbing There is one dare left now you have passed everything super easily actually :) then you can decide who gets what prize.

Last challenge is to beat the Rusty Earbiter. At his words several Goblins come running out with a strange looking assault course. Barbed wire, bent Dogslicers, Barrel Hoops, Vines and thorns all conjoin to form this strange creation. You also see 2 Goblin ears hanging from the numerous pointy objects. "Great inventor made this. Now Great Inventor high in sky...High in sky in Birds belly." Everyone pauses a moment remembering the inventor. "One Must crawl through here, to get big prize."

If you wanna crawl you have to beat three DC 15 Escape artist checks. If you fail you can try again but something naughty might happen. You can take aslong as you like to get through.

Stealth to get to course without being noticed: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (12) + 16 = 28

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12

Got caught up in the course getting the other Goblins attention.

Tries again.

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (17) + 8 = 25
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 19
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (16) + 8 = 24

Makes it through with little trouble. Turns his head and blows a rasberry at Slorb.

Slicy gives it a whirl.

"Me do" she coats herself in mud and brings her dagger just in case.

Escape Artist: 1d20-2 = 17-2 = 15
Escape Artist: 1d20-2 =19-2=17
Escape Artist 1d20-2 = 20-2= 18

She gets out, it looked a bit dicey at one point but she was able to get out without snagging her favorite dress on a dogslicer.

"Me do, HAHAHAHAHA" she laughs as she emerges from her ordeal and then blows the biggest snot rocket ever at Slorb ever 1d20 ranged attack against touch ac 1d20+3= 7+3=10

Escape Artist:1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28
Escape Artist:1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27
Escape Artist:1d20 + 8 ⇒ (13) + 8 = 21

Darts came charging out if the Marsh,slapping Slotb in the back of the head without slowing a step.Other goblins gasped as he dove headfirst into the rusty contraption. Somehow he slid through the hooks,knives,and bits of wire on his knees and elbows without some much as a scrape and rolled to his feet on the other side,whipping his hair back and forth.

Darts sneaker and slicker!!

Korg getting a bit tips from eating and drinking, decides to experiment a bit while the others don't look, he tries to brew some alcohol out of the stronger stuff around him, and throws them into the pot.

1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4

Obviously untrained, the result is nothing edible, and he quickly disposes of it behind a bush, the brew eats its way through the vegetation and kills a mole while Korg goes back to the large fire as if nothing happened.

Slicy listens to the chief, takes her share of the prize if she gets it. and then goes to Darts and Nuggle. "You very fast, me likes" and hands them each a goblin brew, and says "We licktoads have fun games, yes?"

"Nuggle home tribe have no games." He states as he absently swirls his drink.

Darts sipped at the so-called Goblin Brew sparingly,preferring the taste of the cider.He let out a sharp bark of a laugh at the mentioning of games.
Youse Licktoadies have okay games.Darts chew his way out of cage at three.Follow raid party.They all get themselves killed.Darts get caught by dwarves.Kept him around as baby-watcher.Dogs...BIG dogs kept him from going back to tribe.These dwarves...WIERD.Let Darts go for no reason. Darts find out entire tribe dead,lair gone. Darts alone...then came Goat....She Darts one and only chief.Darts miss.

All the drinking has made the surly yellow goblin talkative and nostalgic.He stared into the depths of his crude clay tankard and drifted off,red eyes clouded with thoughts.

Darts no games.He play sometimes but mostly trainings...

Slicy pats Darts on the back and looks out into the swamp.

"My mammy die on a night like now, She an Vorka sent by ol' chief cuz of gatir and Vorka come bak, mammy, no.

Slicy downs her tankard of brew in one gulp and then hurls it into the bonfire. She goes back to her father and her home to speak with him before bed.

"Pappy, me won Earbiter, me brave"

GM, do you want to be pappy or can I make up my own stuff

After you escape the Earbiter with a fair amount of ease, Slorb brings over a strange looking Robe and says proudly "Chief’s Personal Very Useful Robe That Is Useful." He lifts it as high as he can showing off the strange patch work robe, several bulging pockets and patches lines the robe. Inside you find A Ladder, A Three Legged Turtle, A Horseshoe and A Bullhorn.

Finally Slorb say's "Remember bring back stuff or your head will flop!!!" Before wandering away.

Everyone needs to decide who gets what now. Split it fairly so one item each.

Pappy looks at Slicy "You brave, too brave." but he then pats her on the head gently.

Slicy it is up to you to be honest. I posted that just to move it along a little but whatever you prefer really. :)

Ok I will let you guys finish up the night then we can move on to the morning :D

I already won the Dragon Breath so...but I would like the Climbing Ring.

But to make things even Mebbie we could all roll a d20 to see who gets which prize.I already got my elixir of fire breath so I'm good since I get to keep it.…Although Darts could,say,slip into Moot House after the adventure and filch some choice items for the other heroes..Looks like Nuggle has dibs on either the Climbing Ring or Gorge of Gluttons.

I've all I need. I can't use Gorge of Gluttons, and I really don't need the ring, so I'll pass on either.

My character would only like the bullhorn because its funny. If I get it this happens

When seeing her father but after her words, she plays the bullhorn really loud. And laughs hysterically.

Whoa,srsly? Ill take both if Korg don't want em.

Slicy why don't you take the Robe with everything in the pockets. Maybe make a pretty dress :P

Looks like it might be your lucky day Darts ;)

My character only participated in the earbiter thing so I shouldnt be entitled to anything but a share of the fourth prize. You two completed most of the events, and in style i might add. But if youre giving away the dogslicer, my fighter could use it but she would probably stick to her battleaxe.

Darts held up his collection of prizes, standing atop a hut's roof dancing and giggling. He held up the Gorge of Gluttons,which he fully intended on stealing back if he returned to the village at all along with the Ring Of Climbing.

Down below, the crowd of Licktoad villagers cheered and jibbered in drunken excitement. The other goblin heroes stood apart from them on one side of the fire. Korg had his back turned as he sat cross-legged, seemingly half-asleep. Nuggle had pulled several somethings slimy out of his cheeks before stuffing them discreetly into a bottle, then skulked off to his hovel.

Slicy Nine-toe had skipped off home with her father,Hammy,retiring for the night after gulping down another cup of goblin brew and dashing the cup to pieces

He slipped the dull pewter ring onto one knobby yellow finger and made a fist.

A wide, maniacal grin split his face in half. Tonight he was a lucky gob!

I like it.

I would but i think we need to give it back after the adventure. Unless my companeros want to usurp the teedle chair after the adventure.

Gorge of Gluttons, I don't find the description of it, nor that teedle chair, so I don't know if I would want them or not. My char is a two-handed fighter until level 2, so I don't need a dogslicer.

Just before you all set off for your home you here Slorb shouting "Be at Moot house early morning!!!" Then he slinks off to serve his chief, as he is carried back to his home.

I assume everyone gets sleepy now. If you do anything more substantial during the night just say :D

The next morning Slorb is seen outside the Moot house, he will wait until everyone has arrived and berate those who are late. "Come on, Chief wait to see you off."

Trophies of animal heads once more stare at you as you enter the moot house. Everything has remained the same, even the way the chief slouches in his chair, but one thing. There is now a pile of fireworks sitting at the base of his chair. "Get rest of fireworks and bring them here to me." He motions to the fireworks by his feet "Take these to help on grave mission." You collect the fireworks and as you leave Slorb gives you the map to the shipwreck.

You know that to get to the shipwreck will not take long. Maybe an hour or two. I see that Dart's has the Ring of Climbing and possibly the Elixir. Does anybody want the Dogslicer or the robe. I will allow everyone to be able to be proficient with the Dogslicer, it is the Goblins primary weapon after all.

Now you have fireworks as well ;)

Slicy wakes up to her father working on something special for the chief which he says will increase the teedleness of the chair.
Slicy, give this to chief from me

Slicy takes the present with her to the chief.

Are dogslicers throwable?

Darts snorted awake as the first rays of the early dawn sun kissed his eyelids.Groggily,the yellow goblin wondered where he was.

Sitting up and peering at his surroundings,Darts discovered after the bonfire had burned itself out and everyone had either collasped where they stood or stumbled home. And apparently he had ended up in the pen of Squealy Nord,reclining on the pig's side.Either he had earned its respect so it didn't try to devour him in his sleep or it had been spent from the wild rides.

Stretching and yawning wide enough to flash all 50 teeth,the goblin slipped out of the pen and tramped over to bucket of water that was clean enough.Taking of his clothing,uncaring if he's seen,the yellow gob takes out a lump of lye soap and started to scrub at the mud and filth he'd squires during the night.Then he washed his hair,the black locks forming a sodden curtain that reached his waist once freed from its topknot.

He took the time to wash his clothing and wring them dry.Donning them and his wet leathers,he re-tied his topknot and made his way towards Moot House.He checked that he still had his prizes,the Gorge of Gluttons,the Ring of Climbing,and the Elixir of Fire Breath.

Still dripping wet but clean,the yellow goblin approached Moot House to where Sloth awaited anxiously.

Nuggle awakes in his 'hovel' with a bit of a stomach ache after eating some of the more 'exotic' foods last night. He gets himself ready and heads to the chief's hut.

I don't think Dogslicers are throw-able. It's kinda like a holy evil looking longsword but goblin size.

So you guys have fireworks and the map to the ship. Would you like to set off now or mess about in town.

Slicy wants to get killing

Nuggle say go.

The party sets off on their quest. You leave the confines of the makeshift camp and step onto the boggy ground of the marsh, you pick your way though difficult terrain. Stinging nettles snatch at your legs and deep pools of stagnant water bar your path. You eventually take a break about halfway through your journey. You rest next to a small creek with large trees stretching above you.

Need a Perception from everyone please :D

Darts picked his way nimbly through the Marsh undergrowth,keeping low and alert.His ears stood up muck like a rabbit's when a sound caught his attention.

1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13Perception!

Nuggle seems nervous as the group moves through the marsh, as if the slightest loud noise is about to send him running for dear life. When they stop at the creek, his eyes don't stop darting around wildly.

Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 = 22

I love it when a build-up works out mechanics wise. :)

Slicy with battleaxe at the ready moves through the underbrush, deftly moving her eyes left to right staying aware.

Hate to get all army style but who's got point?

Perception =1d20= 11.

Korg hasn't posted for nearly a week so I don't know if he is still interested. I will control his character to keep things moving. Korg if you come back just take over from me.

Korg's Perception: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (19) + 5 = 24

Everyone is surprised.

You relax under the trees, you can hear the creek water running past gently. Suddenly a Giant spider lands in the middle of you all, its fangs glisten with poison its slides its huge body across the ground and immediately strikes out at Slicy.

Spider Bite attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 = 12

It pulls up close and bites down but Slicy is quick to react and dodges easily.

Right so everyone take their turns in any order up to the spider. Then I will take the spiders turn, then it is Slicy's turn. Make sense?

Evil Spider pic ;)

Nuggle hops to his feet, gets behind the spider, and stabs at it with his shortsword.

Attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9

And in his haste, missed completely.

Darts was startled badly by the spider's sudden appearance,recoiling violently as it snapped its mandibles at Slicy,who snatched herself away.She screeched at it and raised her axe.It made a thump as all eight legs hit the muddy ground,which h Darts could feel reverberating through the bottoms of his feet.

He saw Nuggle nearly jump out of his pallid green-gray skin and stab at its multitude of beady black eyes with his dogslicer and miss due to closing his eyes.He shuddered in place.

Darts bawled at the massive arachnid in horror,That's Lots Legs Eats Goblin Babies Many?!?

It was easily the size of a donkey! Its swollen thorax loomed over him as it swiveled in a slow circle,taking in all 4 goblins before it with cold calculation.It was clearly trying to decide which one of them in took first.

Hissing,he steeled himself and struck out with the Gorge of Gluttons in a vicious sideways slash at the spider's face.

1d20 + 1 ⇒ (20) + 1 = 21Attack
1d20 ⇒ 12Critical confirm ...nope.
1d4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2 Damage aww motherf--! °^°

I hate it when the dice fail to deliver such a buildup. And I'm actually behind the spider, btw.

I guess Im in its face and where is Darts and Korg located?

I just realized I forgot the flanking bonus. Lol, would have mattered much.

Here is a map ;)

Hope the map helps.

Yeah I was going to say Nuggle is flanking but wouldn't make a difference really :P

Should I take Korg's turn to speed it up or wait a day or two.

I am here, need to read up and have time to think a bit to make my action choice, sorry am a bit busy lately.

Korg watches as the spider attacks, and prepares his Executioner's Blade. With a battlecry he swoops down upon the enemy.
Yep, swooping down is good.

Perception 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18 (to avoid further spiders swarm them unprepared)
Attack 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15 (to attack with cutlass in two hands, charging if possible to get the "2 on attacks, remember +1 AC against medium or larger enemies and -2 on AC if charging, what is the spider's AC anyway? Your choice if Korg also gets a flanking bonus or not from his angle of attack.)
Crit 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21 (if critical zone, the recheck)
damage 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7 (cutlass in 2 hands)