Gm Aest's Kingmaker: To Forge a Kingdom

Game Master Aest

Could I use Sense Motive every time Erinat says something? Lali knows the kid is shifty after all..

I love that Pathfinder book deal but darned if it isn't kicking the s$!% out of the website.

It is. I'm waiting to download my books.

So... Aren't you glad we're in this together, Lali? Girl power!

HOLY CRAP

I forgot to properly level Laliytsa up to level three; she's only halfway done *bangs head against desk*

I'm going to go do that now *hands Cyanne 'I'm with stupid' shirt*

Good thing I have Prestidigitation so that I can get rid of that awful T-Shirt message... Cyanne replaces it with: "My best friend rocks."

She can give that shirt to Rataji.

Or she can get it on a hat...

Why is everyone trying to get Rataji dressed?

Two words: Massive Nosebleeds.

I.Dont.Get.It.jpeg

Taj is a character in another game, playing aside Zohruk and an alternate universe Daen.

Short version: She's a spirit guide oracle, and her spirits are her crazy insane Mwangi ancestors. One of them, Idli, has a tendency to shed his clothes at inopportune moments.

If you follow the link, click not only that spoiler, but the one posted by Sir Daen afterwards. It's priceless.

Free the Mwangi Two!

Just, y'know, when no one else can see...

One of the problems with having a brain like mine is that there are times when an inappropriate song comes in the way of a post.

So... To the tune of Duke of Earl...

Puke, puke, puke and hurl
[repeat many times]

The Grimples smirk and twirl
Endlessly with the puke and hurl
But you, Erinat, are my girl
And no one can hurt you, oh no

Okay, I think I've both exercised and exorcised the song whim and now can do a regular old post... Gah, sometimes I hate when my brain goes off leash like this.

"Gah, sometimes I hate when my brain goes off leash like this."

As the guy who came up with "Half and Half" my sympathies are remarkably limited. Plus, I'm really kerslammered right now, so I'm more in line with those fey-thingies you guys are fighting right now.

Zoh

All I can say is that I'm really glad that prestidigitation is one of my spells. Lali's covered in beer. I'm covered in barf. We both smell like we spent time at a really bad frat party.

-- Cy

really bad frat party.

Thats not how you spell Great.

(Wakes up, feels layer of casino-mandatory cigarette smoke.)

I think I might prefer whatever those Grimple things are dealing out...

As the guy who came up with "Half and Half"

You have piqued my curiosity.

Laliytsa shoots an arrow at the grimple she just missed...

....and misses again. She scowls.

I am absolutely not making fun of Lali but I couldn't help thinking of this.

Ridiculousness and slight language warning.

Zohruk wrote:

As the guy who came up with "Half and Half"

You have piqued my curiosity.

So yeah, the first incarnation of Zoh and Taj in my head was as a pair of detectives in Eberron. Because I'm me, it also had huge doses of 70s/80s television detectives.

He's a half-orc that listens to the Binding Flame.

She's a half-elf that listens to a white cat.
Together, they fight crime.
Half and Half, a new serial appearing Thursdays, only in the Sharn Inquisitive.

(shrugs)

I need to triple, quadruple check something. The Stag Lord's keep is in the forest right? The keep's location decides my first Favored Terrain.

Well, the house is going well. Just big enough for two young women and one cocker spaniel. We have a leaky pipe and no wheelie bin, and the servo across the road from my bedroom window likes to have its skip bins emptied at 4 o'clock in the morning, but it's otherwise alright. Bills aren't too much, food costs rather little (we're slowly building up pantry basics, like flour, sugar, spices, etc), and we've found a pretty good internet plan ($89/month for 400GB of downloads at 25 mbps), so we're hoping to have that set up soon as well.

Everything's still in boxes, though. Books are bloody heavy things...

Here's hoping I'll be back to a decent posting speed soon!

So far as you can tell, the Stag Lord's keep is actually on the plains, somewhere near the shores of the Tuskwater (a big lake). That's not confirmed by any means, and I don't think anyone's been there quite yet, though.

Not been feeling well today. I'm going to try to crank out a post, but it might have to wait.

Aww feel better Cyanne!

The light green hexes and the tan hexes count as plains right? There's more of them than the forest so that seems like a good choice.

I've had a hell of a day. My foot's broken (went in on Tuesday to the doctor's office to find out why my foot's hurting, and then got a call today to tell me that I've been walking around on a broken metatarsil.

Our fridge broke.

Our vacuum broke.

I'm still sick.

Did someone curse me? Make it stop...

I put the game that I just started GMing on hold, because I suddenly couldn't handle it. Right now, I'd love to be Cyanne, even smelling like beer and barf, because I'd be able to take my rapier and lunge at all my problems until they go away.

I'm sorry to hear about all that, Cyanne. If you need to vent, my PM box is always open.

Ack, I'm sorry! That's an awful run of luck :(

That is quite impressively bad luck. Atleast now you can hopefully look forth to a rosy few months of nothing happening, if you believe in karma :)

Get better.

Sorry for the delay on that post. I was a bit busy yesterday and Friday.

We really do have a fey horror show going on, here, don't we???

You might. It's possible.

(As an aside, I think Gremlins are a better low-level enemy than Goblins or Kobolds. They're more interesting, unless you Tucker's Kobolds the hell out of kobolds.)

And here is proof that I have been listening to too much Hamilton... I think I just did Cyanne's first excursion into hip-hop...

That's what I thought was going on. I was imagining like, a gremlin vs. Cyanne rap-off.

A rap smack down with gremlins? Sign me up.

The following is not canon. It is, honever, ON!

From the depths of the pit, far below the basement’s floor, comes a hurried, frenzied discussion. Then, suddenly, Erinat wails, her voice carrying and echoing not unlike a siren. ”OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO0000000000000ooooooooooooo….” As her words die, no less than five separate voices begin spitting, retching, and chattering, forming a sort of a beat that coalesces into something both catchy and vulgar. Then, a voice is heard. Deep. Foreboding. Ominous.

”Well, Cyaaaaanie, my name’s Lub,
And I’m down here with my main boy Nug,
Now you’d better be scared,
Because this isn’t quite fair,
You’re totally snared,
Your predicaments rare,
You naggy old mare,
I hear you’re blue-haired,
That look’s old not bold, we’ll leave you out in the cold,
And now it’s my favorite boy Nug’s turn; behold!”

A second voice starts up, nasally and fast, and as it does, the beat behind it gets faster.

”Why you gotta think that your threats are tangible?
Just look around ya, situation’s unmanageable,
Pick and choose,
Girl or booze,
While you’re thinking about it,
Why don’t you,
And your crew,
Find the door and head out it?
And as for Laliytsa?
She won’t even miss ya,
So if you’re still thinking of coming down here, stop!
Because if you do, we’ll pound you to slop!”

As the second voice finishes, there’s a chorus of ”OH!” and ”Sick!” and cheering from below.

Beats inspired by the album Demon Days from the Gorillaz. I don't remember the song names.

I love you guys

In an alternate universe:

Cyanne takes a glance at Perli, puts a finger to her lips, and prepares to create the biggest distraction she can so that the little faerie dragon can scope the hostage situation. As Perli goes invisible, she does her best to occupy the gruesome gremlins. Nodding to Tango, she encourages her mongoose to play his drums, creating a rhythm that she can rap to, while Lali notches her bow, preparing for action. Cyanne dances, her feet creating their own complex patterns to underscore the rap.

So you think you can pinch-hit
Coverin’ up your crimes
With tired old rhymes
It’s your own hole you’ve dug
By the way, Lub and Nug?
Monosyllabic names -- how efficient!

Down in your dark little hole
You think you’re safe
Your jaded brittle souls
Surrounding one little waif
We’re in a bar; the tab's come due
We’ve sought you, caught you, fought you
And when we’re done, we’ve got you!

You guys... I am impressed.

Wow.

Thanks, all, for the appreciation. However, there won't be another of these from me because, frankly, I don't have time to write the lyrics out. That right there took me close to an hour of writing, as well as a half hour to figure out roughly what I wanted to do.

Well, it was super fun. Thank you for doing that with me.

Mine didn't take long to write, but it took a long time to process. Meaning, I went away for several hours and when I came back all of it was in my head somewhere. My subconscious does most of my song lyrics, I think.

Aest, thank you for being awesome. If you're ever in the mood to do one of those again, I'd love it.

Hmm

I have been informed by Colonel Tipper that I am no longer allowed to steal his GM for time-consuming rap-offs!

Sad, sad Hmm...

I thought I had phrased it more diplomatically than that.

I'm sure you would have felt differently had said rap-off actually been canon rather than taking place in a different universe... The problem of course is that we all treasure Aest, and want to hoard his lovely, lovely posts.

Cyanne will just have to hip-hop solo for a bit. Or embark into other hitherto unexplored musical genres.

I actually started it as a Gameplay post, but realized very quickly that it was going to break my immersion too much.

Really? Because I would have loved if that were canon! It would have been EPIC. But maybe it does not match up with the personalities you had for the gremlins.

:)

Hmm

Yeah. Gremlins aren't gangsta-rappers, although that could explain why they bully mites (the jazz-handsing backup dancers).

Grimlins got no rhythm! They think singing is all about how loud you can be.

Since we had that short break between fighting the barf beasts and the lightning guy I went ahead and put in my correct stats. Lali is a proper level 3 now, complete with things like skill points and feats and all that jazz. Wheee!

Jazz? Like Jazz Hands?

"DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

Walked right into that one Lali.