Spurred by confidence from his first success Bart once again shoves his hand in the box and comes up with a live spider this time.
Bart confidently drops it straight down his throat again, but this time it catches its self and Bart sputters and the spider quickly skitters out of Bart's mouth and onto his head.
Bart quickly squishes the spider, right on top of one of his oozing pustules. Before anybody can object to the spider now being dead, Bart pops it, pus and all into his mouth and swallows.
Torch, seeing Bart taking the lead, grabs two handfuls from the box, pulling forth a live baby spider and a greasy gob of earwax.
He downs the spider first, then tosses the ball of wax down after it. Unfortunately, the spider gets stuck halfway down and Torch chokes, hocking both objects up and spitting them into Mugmuff's face!
Embarrassed, but undaunted, Torch tries again to take a delicacy from the box, drawing a wet ball of hair, which he pops into his mouth without hesitation, only to regurgitate it seconds later.
Mugmuff tries to dodge the regurgitation....
He just manages to get out of the way, leaving the gobs of wax, spider AND hair headed right toward Agna, who it turns out was standing right behind him...
Agna tries to jump out of the way, and escapes the earwax, but is splattered by the spider and the gob of hair. The wax lands on her poor hedgehog familiar.
Nurpus continues to watch from the outskirts, keeping n eye for any sort of cheating (other than ours).
Bart finds a ball of earwax but just can't swallow it, instead puking it up.
Remembering how well it worked last time, Bart smashes the ball of wax against his head in an attempt to get some pus on it.
Before swallowing it whole on the second try.
Bart then pulls out a human baby foot.
Bart drools over it for a moment before crunching down on the tasty little toes before swallowing the rest of the foot.
The crowd of goblins continues to cheer the two heroes on, as they pound through the tasty, and untasty, bits. More than one goblin barfs all over the back of the goblin in front of him as Bart jams the pus covered ball of earwax in his mouth, a truly disgusting sight indeed!
Worried that there are still some goblins cheering for Torch Bart reaches into the box with both hands this time pulling out a wet ball of hair and a rotten eyeball.
Bart stares them down attempting to intimidate them, his left eye focused the eyeball and his right eye on the ball of hair.
Bart then attempts to swallow the hairball so that the eyeball can see what's coming before he swallows it.
What the eyeball sees it Bart choke and sputter on it sending it flying, unable to catch and pus it like some of his previous failures.
Bart stands tall though, pretending like nothing bad happened and swallows the eyeball.
At least tries to swallow the eyeball before gagging and upchucking the eyeball along with some now unrecognizable partially digested items that Bart hopes won't be counted against him.
Torch reaches into the treat box again, drawing forth a live spider and a slime-coated mushroom. This time he tries setting them alight with his torch before consuming them, but once again, he vomits them back up seconds later.
Frustrated, Torch delves into the box again and grabs two items, slamming them into his mouth without even looking at them. For a moment, it seems as though both will stay down, until the spider crawls back up Torch's throat and pops out of his nose! There is a loud snuffling noise as Torch sucks the spider back into his nose and swallows hard, managing to keep it down this time.
Bart, having found the 2 handed strategy not working so well, casually reaches one arm in and stirs a bit before pulling out the next tasty morsel...
A gooey piece of meat!
Bart pauses for a moment, remembering his gooey mother fondly before scarfing down the meat.
Losing focus at the task on hand Bart chokes on the slimy meat for almost a minute before filling expelling the gooey piece from his throat just prior to running out of air and passing out.
Bart sits a moment to catch his breath before determinedly reaching in yet again.
Bart breathes a sigh of relief, earwax. I can handle this.
Bart swallows the earwax without trouble, the wax leaving a nice soothing trail down his throat to ease the acidic burns.
The frantic scene continues as Bart and Torch take turns pulling from the box, each of them doing far more gagging than swallowing. The smell of bile and rotten bits of partially chewed morsels fills the air and the heroes notice that while the goblins surrounding them continue to cheer and shout, the distance between the crowd and the contestants has grown by a considerable amount. More than one goblin has fled the scene covered in vomit, causing those around him to retch and gag as well.
Bart, exhausted, reaches into the box, his burning throat held together only by earwax, hoping to soon be done with this.
Bart pulls out another ball of earwax, a personal favorite!
Bart just can't get it past the previous wax though.
Almost defeated Bart coughs it up, along with most of the existing wax that was holding his throat together.
Bart, just closes his eyes uses his other hand and reaches into the box once again. Not even daring to open his eyes to see what disgusting morsel he pulls out this time.
Bart sniffs it before eating it, his eyes still closed. Oh that smells like rancid vegetables. I never did like vegetables, here goes nothing!
Bart uses the last of his strength to drop the pickle in his mouth, pausing to chew for a moment before swallowing the slimy chunks.
More to Bart's surprise than anybody else's he's able to keep it down!
Torch, seeing time running out, makes two more grabs from the box.
He forces the ball of hair down first, choking a bit, then follows with the earwax. The earwax will not go down, however, and Torch vomits it back up. With a sigh, he admits defeat.
Torch tries once more to delve into the box, plucking out a now ubiquitous live baby spider and a human baby's foot. He downs the tasty foot easily, then slurps up the spider, only to choke on it and spit it back out.
I'll be out of town this weekend (Canadian holiday). I'll be back Monday night, but likely wont be able to post until Tuesday.
As the final morsel goes down Torch's throat, only to be spit back up, Crazyeye approaches the box and grabs Bart's hand, raising it high into the air and declaring him the winner of the challenge. The gathered goblins cheer and hoot, some still dripping with bits of barf and regurgitation on account of the horrible sights during the eating contest.
Once the noise dies down to a managable level the shaman once again calls out above the noise. "Dem gobs have shown that dey me tough, and we knows they be quick! Now dems face da final challenge, to sees who is da strongest gob!" he shouts above the screaming and howling goblin forces gathered at the scene. "A bestest chieftain must be strong at mighty, able to smash faces in da name of da tribe!"
Leading the goblins away once more, the heroes and the following crowd find themselves at the main square once more, where two makeshift dummies have been erected where the giant statue of Ripnugget once stood. Composed of wood, straw, metal, and stones, the dummies are both shaped to the size of a very large human. Bits and pieces of human sized armor and leather have been fastened to each dummy, and a crude spear of wood runs through the "hands" of each one. Each dummy stands on a crude spring that shakes and wobbles as it is moved into position.
"Yous eaches must smash and burn your longshanks to bits and pieces. Nothing is off limits other than no messing with da other gob's longshanks! Boom them to bits!" the shaman shouts, and the contest begins!
Torch immediately draws a pair of vials from his belt pouch and mixes the two, pouring one into the other and shaking vigorously. Closing to 15 feet, he hurls the vial at his target.
and the target is on fire
Bart whistles for Flappy and makes a hugging motion at Torch
but Flappy is unresponsive.
Irritated Bart will fling a javelin at his dummy as he steps closer.
Missing though
Bart whistles to Flappy again to give Torch a hug.
This time Flappy responds and swoops down to grapple Torch.
In the mean time Bart finishes closing with his dummy, quickdrawing ihs ludicrously oversized bastard sword and gives it a good swipe.
Missing again however.
The effigy burns as Flappy attempts to hug Torch.
Torch, for his part, tries to keep Flappy at bay without hurting the bat.
nonlethal
nonlethal
Torch starts the competition by lobbing a flaming concoction at the dummy, the bomb bursting into flame and blossoming into a massive fireball, consuming the straw and wood of the target. Goblins all around give an excited scream of joy followed by many "Ooohs" and "Ahhhs" at the sight of the brilliant flames. Bart, not being one for playing fair, signals Flappy to prevent Torch from completely annihilating his target with fire. The bat stares at the goblin incredulously, refusing to be a part of his shenanigans. Bart grumbles and tosses a javelin at the target, but the weapon skips off of the hard outer armor without damaging the dummy itself. Many of the goblins jeer at Bart for his dirty tricks, while just as many others laugh and cheer the bat on.
Bart, undaunted, hurts some threats and harsh words at Flappy, the creature finally giving in to its master's commands and hurling itself at Torch, who swings at the bat and thunks it in the head solidly. Giggling to himself at Torch's state of affairs, slashes at the target with a sword far too big for him to handle, but once again fails to connect while Torch's target continues to burn.
Rather than go for the downed bat, Torch instead moves in close to the "longshanks" and takes a swing.
Bart screams as Flappy goes down but chooses to focus on the dummy.
Torch moves in and tries to hit the effigy.
[dice=Torch vs. "longshanks"]1d20+3[/dice]
and the opponent is remains on fire
Bart stares down his strawshanks and hacks away, delusinal that Flappy will take care of Torch.
Bart then takes a step back.
Finally he takes one more step and throws a flurry of javelins at his fakeshanks.
Emboldened by his previous successes, Torch continues his assault.
and the opponent is still on fire
Torch and Bart furiously work against the dummies, with Torch having a sure upper hand as his longshanks target burns and smoulders, while Bart's shows only a few hacks and slices to show for most of his effort. The surrounding goblins cheer and shout for their preferred hero as the simulated fighting continues, some even making wagers while others emulating one of the champions.
Suddenly there is a bellowing roar nearby, and the pained screams of goblins can be heard just outside of the amassed crowd. Several goblins suddenly can be seen flying through the air overhead, sailing high above the makeshift dummies and our heroes before falling and landing with hard thuds onto the ground behind the circled goblins. As if on queue, a goblin stampede begins, with dozens of the creatures stomping and clambering over each other in an attempt to get away from the invisible threat. The area clears almost instantly, leaving the heroes standing alone with the dummies as several very large humanoids round the corner of one of the buildings to the north, backed up by another towering creature measuring at least six goblins in height!
Agna uses the confusion to summon small fire elementals using 3 points from her arcane reservoir. Then she begins to cast summon minor monster to summon rats.
Her elemental appears about 20 feet away from her and she says "KILLS THEM BIG GUYS!" The elemental readies a slam attack on the first ogre or orc to get within melee range.
Bart grabs Flappy and drags the bat to safety, out of any carnage from flying ogre debris and misplaced bombs.
Mugmuff slips into some shadows and waits for a surprise strike opportunity.
Torch throws together a foul admixture from his many pouches of ingredients, shakes well, and tosses the bottle to Bart. "You drink dis," he says, "Gets bigger!"
Bart catches the infusion, ready to drink it as soon as the Tripian time gods think fit to allow him to act again.
Nurpus surveys the area for danger.
Then looks for a good place to hide and snipe.
Agna calls forth an elemental servant and begins chanting again, reading another spell. Torch throws together a quick concoction before tossing it towards Bart, who quickly drags his unconscious mount to safety. Nurpus and Mugmuff both take up sneaky positions in hopes of a surprise attack against the much larger foes.
The orcs charge forward, their axes held high as they scream and howl at the amassed goblins, sending them scattering in all directions. Further behind them, the ogre rips off a large section of railing from a fence and wades into combat.
Agna finishes casting her spell and the rats appear. She picks up one of the two rats, readying to cast a spell and toss the rat at the first orc to get close enough.
Her fire elemental moves up to the nearest enemy and slams at it
Mugmuff continues to hide.. waiting... IF any of the foes get near him this round, he's got a ready action to attack..
Torch moves forward slightly and readies a bomb. If the ogre comes within range (20 feet), he will hurl the bomb.
Bart drinks the tasty baby flavored elixir and steps forward, reaching for his hammer, only to not find it, having sacrificed it to buy time against ripmuppet.
Bart does however find his old trusty horsechopper and draws that instead.
Nurpus moves up and takes a shot at the left human.
The tiny but dangerously blazing elemental glides forward, lashing out with one of its burning hands at an orc, slamming into the creature with surprising force. Mugmuff continues to wait in the shadows for his opportunity to strike as Bart strides forward, chugging the concoction handed to him by Torch and suddenly expanding in size to that of a normal human, or orc. From the rear ranks Nurpus takes aim and blasts one of the advancing orcs with Purpus, the shot nearly taking off the creature's head and sending him crashing to the ground with a heavy thud. Torch holds a bomb in his hand, letting it fly as the ogre advances and hitting the monstrosity square in the nose, the flames of the bomb blossoming outward to engulf the creature and instantly burning all of the hair from its otherwise hairy body.
Both orcs sweep their axes viciously in front of them in hopes of killing the burning elemental quickly. The first connects with the living flame, scoring a minor hit as his companion misses the creature with an unbalanced swing. The ogre roars in anger, still burning from the bomb, and tosses the wooden rail aside in favor of the spear slung across his back. As he nears Bart, the goblin lashes out with his horsechopper but misses his mark completely. Drawing the weapon forth, the ogre stabs at the evil goblin with the burning fire, skewering Torch with a massive strike that plunges the blade deep into his abdomen.
Seeing that the ogre is definitely the most dangerous foe, Agna casts excruciating deformation and tosses one of the rats at him.
Unfortunately, Agna's aim is significantly off and the rat flies right past the ogre, landing a few feet away with a thud.
Meanwhile, Agna's friend the fire elemental slams at the nearest orc again.
fire plus
Mugmuff spends a ki point to turn invisible (swift action) and slips across the road to near the ogre so he can attack next time.