The easiest way to keep your equipment from melding is to not be wearing it when you shift form. Pick it up again once you're changed. If you need a weapon to change to huge size with you, say, I'd look at shrink item as the spell to base a magic item for that on.
I can't think of an answer to Q1. There are ways for spells (energy attunement, a reservoir tattoo) but not for SLAs.
Max your UMD and get a wand of Squeeze and now you can solve the dungeon issue in round one of the fight. If you can get a familiar and have it use wands, it doesn't even cost your action. Also, you might buy a Corset of the Vishkanya in case you can't get the wand off in time.
Also, drop all your non-passive gear before shifting, and pick it back up.
Apparently there's a resizing property for weapons in the Giant Hunter's Handbook.
While it's not designed for this exactly, in a home game you might talk your GM into allowing you to use this (also mentioned by avr)
Tattoo, Reservoir
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th Slot none; Price 10,000 gp
DESCRIPTION
Once per day as a standard action, the bearer can transfer into the tattoo an ongoing single-target spell (of up to 3rd level). The spell must be one the bearer cast on itself. While stored in the tattoo, the spell’s effects are suppressed, and the spell’s duration is similarly suspended. As a standard action, the bearer can bring the spell back into effect on itself. Spells stored in reservoir tattoos are lost when the bearer next prepares spells.
CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS
Inscribe Magical Tattoo; Cost 5,000 gp
As your Revelation uses a spell to explain what happens when you shift, you could make the argument to your GM that the tattoo would store it, but it likely wouldn't pass in Pathfinder Society.
It would only work once a day per tattoo and only for spell effects up to 3rd level, though you could work with your GM to create and item/tattoo based on this to work with your Revelation.
In regards to your weapon, the rules for Polymorph spells says:
If your new form does not cause your equipment to meld into your form, the equipment resizes to match your new size.
Whether your sword would meld into your elemental form is also a discussion you need to have with your GM.
I do not know if Pathfinder Society ever answered that question.
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The feat Abundant Revelations gives you one more use per day. So does a Ring of Revelation.
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The polymorphic pouch gives you an easy place to store small items like wands for later grabbing.
Also, you can use elemental body to take the shape of smaller sized forms and still gain most of the scaling benefits if it becomes really necessary. Your damage dice and movement won't scale as well, but you still get the better stat boosts as you level even if you turn into a small elemental from how I understand the spell?
Here's the item:
http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic-items/wondrous-items/wondrous-items/m-p/polym orphic-pouch/