Two more item reviews up. Expect another one or two shortly...
All first names starting A & B are now done, so if your real first name begins with C, you're next for the Template Fu review. (Calder, Casey, Christopher & Clay in that order).
To all the mini game participants, here are the issues you should have found. I think from all entrants, every single item was found by at least one person, well done. 17 of you had a go at the mini competition for identifying most of the items and by a very close margin, Mikko Kallio came top with one more identified than runner up Mike Kimmel.
Here’s the list
#1 The name Tantibus Droom
The name uses Latin and Dutch to translate from English the term Nightmare Child/Dream Child. The first issue is that I am using real word languages which can cause issues should the creature end up being translated to that language. Now Latin is unlikely, but Dutch – very likely, which would result in Dutch readers viewing the creature as a dream of a Tantibus, and that is not right. The name Nightmare Child is a valid name for the creature, I should have used that.
#2 Keep the description to theme
The ululation should not be in the intro description – it is cool that its voice is an overlapping terror filled main child voices sound, but that should be in the latter description, otherwise we have a night hunter that makes loud sounds. It breaks the suspension of belief in the creature and is at odds to the theme of a hunter of sleeping humanoids.
#3 Don’t assume what the creature is doing in your descriptions
The ululation also assumes the creature is reacting to the presence of the PCs when they corner it. The creature may be unaware of the PCs, be subject to surprise attacks and so wouldn’t be ululating when encountered.
#4 Intro was too long
Some of you liked the slightly longer than normal description, some didn’t. A description should be around 50-60 words at most. This is resolved by the fix for issue #2 and issue #3, moving the sound it makes out of the introductory description.
#5 Tense should be consistent in descriptions.
Misshapen rather than Misshaped – you are describing what you are seeing (active) rather then what you have seen (past tense).
#6 Template/Technical issues
Sleep was the last entry of defensive abilities, so no trailing semi-colon.
Attacks and BAB – A 2-HD outside has a +2 BAB – note that BAB does not include an size modifier, so should be listed as +2, however attacks would be at BAB + size + Str for the melee attacks. The size modifier in this case is +1 and the Str modifier is +1, total +4 on the attacks to hit – not +1
The Will save should be +1 (base 0 + ability modifier)
CMB is correct at BAB (+2) + 1 Str – 1 Size = 2.
CMD should be 1 more - 10 + BAB (+2) + 1 Str + 2 Dex – 1 Size = 14.
Not enough skill point spend - An outsider has 6 + Int skill ranks per HD, so this creature should have 14 skill ranks. For maxed-out skills, each bonus should equal +2 (ranks) +3 (class skill) + ability modifier. Also not racial/size modifiers, in this case, a Small creature gains an addition +4 bonus on Stealth checks
The four listed skills are correctly calculated, but there should be three more. In keeping with a home infiltrating sneaky monster, the three missing were Climb (to get into upper storey bedroom windows), Disable Device (opening locks), Sleight of Hand (it seemed appropriate to the theme).
The sleep immunity should not be italicised – otherwise I am only immune to that one spell. The creature should be immune to all forms of sleep, so no italics.
Groups did not allow for a group of 3 and the term murder is from a murder of crows. This grouping should really have used a dream related word to keep in theme, something like “a trance” of them and should have a 3-6 range.
#7 Game Balance & Clarity of rules in Born of Dreams.
The fatigued condition should only be applied if awakening after all six rounds are complete. Also, for game balance, awakening before the six rounds complete should benefit the party, not make matters worse for them.
#8 Know your spells when defining new abilities.
Dream Maker should have referred to nightmare spells wording for preventing restful sleep and the save should specify that it is Charisma based, possibly with some racial bonus because the creature is born of dreams.
Similarly, Sandman Touch should simply state the creature is affected by a deep slumber spell (caster level X). The save should specify that it is Charisma based, possibly with some racial bonus because the creature is born of dreams.
#9 Keep an eye on damage formats and standard values
It is correct that the standard claw attacks are d6 based and the standard bite is d4, but with this particular small creature, I felt that I should reduce both bite and claw below this. My reasoning being that the creatures main sustenance is not what it kills to eat, but is the life giving energy of dreams. As it is also potential able to neutralise a PC in combat using Sandman Touch, so slightly less damage dealing seemed a good counter balance for game play. So in this case, although these choices are questionable, this was an attempt at keeping the damage of the creature in line with the general theme of the creature.
However, the “and” should have been a comma for bit and claw attacks.
#10 Bending rules in small ways.
The urban environment included a postfix of the particular region the creatures are encountered in the main. It is unusual to see a geographical area specified in this way, but I really wanted to emphasise that dark brooding gothic overtone that would give rise to nightmares and so create these creatures. This was a conscious choice and gamble I made.
#11 Always refer back to the rules to check you haven’t strayed.
I have also assumed that everyone thinks of Ustalav as dark, broody and gothic, a place filled with night terrors, fears and bad dreams. So the Golarion tie in is weak on this creature, and would likely fail on the Golarion specific NOT GENERIC requirement of the round.
#12 Nightmare plagued – needs defining?
The description nightmare plagued should be hyphenated and is intending to describe someone deep in the throes of a nightmare filled sleep. I was attempting to portray this in a few evocative words, but by missing the hyphen, it looks like a game term. Be very wary of descriptive terms – a plague has a very specific meaning.
#13 Be aware of your requirements.
A couple of people mentioned BAB +3 was missing from the Melee entry. The rules required we use a particular template, targeting the original bestiary style of entry. There is already a Base Atk entry in the template (which equals BAB), and checking Bestiary 1 entries, BAB is not in the melee line. In this case, I followed the template.
#14 More theme musings and making the GM job easier
Be wary of specifying exact numbers. In this case it's unwise to give solid numbers on how many sleeping people are required to create this creature. Suggestive language keeps them mysterious and frees GMs up to drop them in wherever they like.
Once round 2 is complete, I will post the real version of my creation – it had most of the above fixed, I just need to revisit the nightmare wording one last time. I will turn it loose on the general forum public to see if they can spot anything I missed, but for now, let them concentrate on your entries :)
I hope you enjoyed the fun challenge.
Congrats, Mikko. :)
8 hours to go! *dun dun duu*
7.5 hours now. Getting both nervous and excited!
I'll be away from a computer for a while and won't be able to see the monsters until later tonight. Suspense!
It's -17°F where I live right now, with wind chills approaching -35°F. Lots of places are closed, including my place of employment, leaving me with nothing to do except prep for round 3, except I have no monsters with which to begin such preparations. It's going to be a long day.
I'm very anxious to see the results of the reveal.
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Anthony, thanks for the fun challenge. :)
I don't know how other people reacted to the Ustalav reference, but here are some of my thoughts about it. I may be completely wrong, but I think Ustalav is about gothic horror, i.e. something like the stories of Poe, Stoker or Shelley. Tragic monsters who might actually have feelings. Dark secrets. And so on.
This monster gave me more of a psychological horror vibe, a more modern genre. Silent Hill, J-horror, Jacob's Ladder, etc. The psychological horror genre is about facing your own fears and nightmares. Your own mind created the monster and it's going to get you... perhaps these monster too have a place in Ustalav, I do not know.
Btw, I was going to suggest that Dream Eater would be a cool name for this monster, but googled it and got lots of hits related to Pokemon, ... :D
Ustalav can do other types of horror as well. It has Cthulhu elements with the Dark Tapestry, and the Carrion Crown AP has a whole outside "dungeon" inspired by Silent Hill.
I agree, the central genre is Gothic though.
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Well yes, you're right, many kinds of horror can probably be encountered in Ustalav. But it's also true that horror can be encountered anywhere in Golarion. I think this creature should have a stronger thematical connection to Ustalav and its culture + history than "it's horror" to earn the (Ustalav) tag, that's all. :) But that is just my opinion, of course.
Now going to the radio silence mode. Best of luck to all of you! :)
Anthony, thanks for the fun challenge. :)
I don't know how other people reacted to the Ustalav reference, but here are some of my thoughts about it. I may be completely wrong, but I think Ustalav is about gothic horror, i.e. something like the stories of Poe, Stoker or Shelley. Tragic monsters who might actually have feelings. Dark secrets. And so on.
This monster gave me more of a psychological horror vibe, a more modern genre. Silent Hill, J-horror, Jacob's Ladder, etc. The psychological horror genre is about facing your own fears and nightmares. Your own mind created the monster and it's going to get you... perhaps these monster too have a place in Ustalav, I do not know.
Btw, I was going to suggest that Dream Eater would be a cool name for this monster, but googled it and got lots of hits related to Pokemon, ... :D
Yeah, that was my original name, and I hit the same google search :D
Well yes, you're right, many kinds of horror can probably be encountered in Ustalav. But it's also true that horror can be encountered anywhere in Golarion. I think this creature should have a stronger thematical connection to Ustalav and its culture + history than "it's horror" to earn the (Ustalav) tag, that's all. :) But that is just my opinion, of course.
Now going to the radio silence mode. Best of luck to all of you! :)
I totally agree, which is why I put on number 11 that as it stands it would probably be dinged as too generic.
I am sure the public, when they get to see it, will have all sorts of feedback to add >.<
Good luck everyone on your monster designs, I expect to see some really flawless mechanics and stat blocks based on how well you found my deliberately placed errors in that little game.
No pressure now :P
Man, the waiting is KILLING me! I'm so excited to see what the devs thought of my monster!
I also really wish that the rules allowed us to use creatures and rules elements from Player Companion books, since there are so many great things in those books. C'est la vie.
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I also really wish that the rules allowed us to use creatures and rules elements from Player Companion books, since there are so many great things in those books. C'est la vie.
I'd bet that those sources are restricted because they're not as freely available; voters (and contestants) aren't as likely to have them or be able to look up the elements that you might use from them.
I also really wish that the rules allowed us to use creatures and rules elements from Player Companion books, since there are so many great things in those books. C'est la vie.I'd bet that those sources are restricted because they're not as freely available; voters (and contestants) aren't as likely to have them or be able to look up the elements that you might use from them.
Yeah, I guess it's not surprising, but I don't have to like it. :-P
"Here lizard, lizard, lizard....I think we're going to need a bigger box."
And the next review is up for Calder - including an interesting musing on hand based items - with that teasing snippet, I'll let you go discover :P
It should keep you diverted from reveal countdown for a minute or two :D
Well, I have been wholly unavailable over the last week to say much to the guild hall. My sincerest apologies, I figure a late introduction is better than none at all, though it seems some was taken care of in my absence.
Greetings, my name is Tyler Cowart, I am from Owasso, Oklahoma, age 27, from the same city as Clay Clouser and within earshot of Steve Helt often enough. I'm happy to be participating this year, with little excuse to have not entered before. Our gaming group has plenty of diversity so while I am GMing currently, we switch openly.
I have appreciated reading everything so far, from the posts of previous years, to the incessant praise and ramblings, and this thread as well. I look forward to participating a bit more in full!
Well...I'm leaving work and won't be in front of a computer for at least a couple of hours. I'll just have to wait and see.
Good luck all!
Good luck, everyone!
We who are about to be killed by monsters salute you. :)
Good luck!
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Good luck all!
And remember, negative comments are often a reflection of the individual. It's science! (haters gonna hate study link)
yeah, good luck everyone
Here we go! Good luck to all contestants! :D
And the clock on the wall says.....
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Woohoo, two of the judges liked my monster! One didn't, but I think his criticisms are all valid. In any case, I think I have a decent shot :-)
Are the round 3 rules not posted yet? I don't see them on the main RPG Superstar landing page.
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Hey, congrats to Rich Malena, who's now in the Top 32 (not sure who we lost)! His magic item's now posted to if people want to go give it some love (since he hasn't had a week of that like the rest of us).
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Hey, congrats to Rich Malena, who's now in the Top 32 (not sure who we lost)! His magic item's now posted to if people want to go give it some love (since he hasn't had a week of that like the rest of us).
Thanks Jacob! I got my email just before 2pm, so my plans for a nice, quiet, stress-free evening are going to be completely thrown out. But I'm glad I've been studying up on encounters, just in case.
And honestly, I got a good bit of feedback on my item since I posted it in the Critique thread. I won't say no to more criticism, but don't feel like you have to comment!
So with the monster round nderway, does that mean we can now acknowledge and thank everyone for their comments on our items? Or do we still need to maintain radio silence?
I certainly don't want to get myself eliminated, but I feel so horrid for not saying anything in gratitude...! :<
You can say whatever you want about your item now. Just don't say *anything* that would elaborate on any part of your monster design.
You can say whatever you want about your item now. Just don't say *anything* that would elaborate on any part of your monster design.
Great! So glad to have a veteran answer this for me too...!
Great job, everyone on the monster round. I was very impressed and it's going to be tough just picking 8. I think it's going to be a tight race.
So with the monster round nderway, does that mean we can now acknowledge and thank everyone for their comments on our items? Or do we still need to maintain radio silence?
I certainly don't want to get myself eliminated, but I feel so horrid for not saying anything in gratitude...! :<
Even though you can comment on your items, I wouldn't recommend it, for several reasons.
1. You should be focusing all your energy on making a super encounter for round three - ESPECIALLY if the comments from the judges and voters leave you with little hope of advancing. If you advance despite a shaky effort in the monster round, you need to come out all guns blazing. Don't make the mistake of believing that anything is settled. Ask Mike Welham about what a tough round 2 means for your overall chances of winning. On the flip side, don't take your foot off the gas just because the voters love your monster. You are only as good as your latest submission.
2. You really don't want to accidentally say something that gets you disqualified, even if you are not commenting directly on your monster.
3. Ignoring the burning desire to talk about your work will serve you well, not just in this contest, but also later on, when you have written something really cool for a publisher, but can't tell anyone about it until the publisher announces the product, which may be weeks or months after you hand in your work.
Much sage advice.
Aww, curses, I'm afraid it's too late to even go back and remove the comment. I made no mention whatsoever regarding Round 2 or even discussed my item; just thanked the judges and voters for their critiques. I can't imagine that I'd be guilty of any transgression for that (at least, I hope not...). :/
But Jacob, you're right, from here on out: full steam ahead! That goes for all of us!
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Don't sweat it, Mikael. I read what you posted in your item thread, and it looks perfectly fine to me.
The gist of my advice is really: "it's hard to go full throttle forward if you keep looking behind you. Focus on the task ahead".