Corrupt the Wish

[lucky7]

Granted.

I wish to be a nicer person.

[Little Skylark]

You become a very nice person, the people around you become the worst jerks on earth.

I wish I'd never have to meet any of those jerks.

[lucky7]

Granted. peace in death.

I wish for lich powers.

[14 sided die]

granted; but there's a massive bounty on your skull- and a ton of adventurers on your tail.

"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat"-Edgar Allen Poe

[Conman the Bardbarian]

'Granted,' quoth the raven, 'nevermore.'

I wish I had the day off tomorrow.

[SnowJade]

Granted. You have tomorrow off. It's Saturday. See you back at work on Monday!

I wish that stuff didn't taste so utterly vile.

[Trinite]

Granted, it tastes ever so slightly less utterly vile, and ever so slightly more like apple-cinnamon. Still pretty utterly vile, though.

I wish I could visit the ocean next summer.

[Conman the Bardbarian]

Granted, you visit the Southern Ocean, you think maybe you didn't pick the most opportune time.

I wish service wasn't temporarily unavailable.

[SnowJade]

Granted. The aliens kidnap you and install an app which brings all 5,451 channels directly into your head. 24/7. You cannot turn them off. Ever.

I wish I could remember the title of that song.

[Trinite]

Granted. It's called "Friday".

I wish I could go home after lunch.

[Little Skylark]

You can go home after lunch, but you'll never get back after that again. Not because you got fired, you got eating by the tiger that snuck into your home.

I wish I had pool.

[Trinite]

Granted! You have a pool -- filled with urine from the neighborhood kids sneaking in at night.

I wish my students' papers would grade themselves.

[Sissyl]

Granted! They now have nice, soft corners.

I wish something nice would happen.

[Little Skylark]

Something nice happened, to me. I found a euro. Hurray!

I wish I owned a lot of money.

[SnowJade]

Trinite wrote:

Granted. It's called "Friday".

I wish I could go home after lunch.

[headbonk]Oh, you poor guy/gal. Been there, done that.[/headbonk] Midterms really suck, don't they? What subject are you trying to wedge into their little heads?

Skylark, the money ends up owning you.

I wish that the windstorm we're going to get tomorrow night would be over quickly. They always freak my poor cats out.

[Charles Scholz]

The winstorm only last for 5 minutes before turning into a tornado and demolishing your house. Your cats hide in the clothes you are wearing with claws fully extended and hangin on for dear life.

I wish the national parks would open before I leave on my vacation.

[Thomas, A]

the national parks are open because the government is now dealing with a civil war

i wish i had 4 clones of my self to play PFRPG with

[Sissyl]

Granted! You discover, to your everlasting horror, that they are the worst players you ever had.

I wish something nice would happen TO ME.

[SnowJade]

I headbonk you. There, something nice happened to you, even if it's in a virtual sort of way.

I wish I could mount a tank gun on my shopping cart so I could blow away the people who stop to have conversations right in front of me in the supermarket.

[Thomas, A]

granted but you now have a firm understanding of Newton's 2nd and 3rd laws

i wish i had some medicated lotion for that sick burn Sissyl dished out.

[Sissyl]

Granted! Have some twelve-year whisky. It's traditional.

I wish, hmmm, last I checked, the stirges were still in occupancy and the elephants did not get them out. So, I wish for the pest control people to come deal with the stirges. Without harming my apartment.

[lucky7]

Granted. They harm you.

I wish for my Zen Archer to get to 3rd level this Saturday. (At that point, I'll make my own luck.)

[Trinite]

Snowjade: I have two Library Science classes to teach. Good times.

Granted! Your Zen Archer runs afoul of a cleric of Mammon, and ends up transported to Erebus, the Third Level of Hell. Hope you can make a whole lot of luck...

I wish I didn't have three hours of work, a wedding, and a house party to go to on Saturday.

[lucky7]

Granted, but the thing that replaces it is even worse.

I wish to know if I can hock Gamin the Misforged?

[Tim Statler]

You start coughing and gagging until you spit up a sword.

I wish that everyone would just go away.

[SnowJade]

Trinite wrote:

Snowjade: I have two Library Science classes to teach. Good times.

Anthro. And I TA'd for the craziest prof in the department. Twice.

Tim: Granted. You are in your own little space, all by yourself. The rest of us are at the bar. Feel free to join us when you're ready.

The next poster knows how a cat likes her 'nip julip.

[Trinite]

Granted! I do indeed know that -- and you realize with horror that you've gotten your forum games confused.

I wish my new computer monitor would arrive today.

[SnowJade]

It arrives, but it's an ancient screen for an Apple IIC.

I wish I didn't still have that memory.

[Little Skylark]

Granted, you have no memory at all, except one about a seahorse in a tuxedo, sadly you have also lost the memory what that was all about.

I wish I had a seahorse in a tux.

[lucky7]

Granted, but it can't survive out of water. The tux is ruined.

I wish for the sweet, sweet bliss of ignorance.

[Belphegor]

Granted. You never remember anything bad that happens to you. Now someone kicks the snot out of you everyday and you have no idea what happened.

I wish it wouldn't rain on Halloween.

[SnowJade]

Granted, but it pours for the entire week afterwards.

I wish the grocery store would get the better kind of shrimp back in stock.

[Sissyl]

Granted! They are very cheap too! The day after the shrimp feast, you start getting these extremely painful stomach cramps...

I wish there would be no disasters in my future.

[lucky7]

Granted, but the rest of your life gives you minor annoyances.

I wish for cool hip swagger...or whatever the kids call it these days.

[SnowJade]

Granted! You are made of cool, hip swagger - until you dislocate a hip.

I wish for plenty of rain this year.

[Little Skylark]

Granted! It all falls in one week and all of it on you.

I wish I wouldn't get cold.

[Captain Spalding]

Granted, but you have to spend all your time inside an oven.

I wish for customers who know what they want before they order it.

[Gruumash .]

"Granted but since they now have telepathy they know what you really think and no longer shop with you."

[Schism]

psst - Your wish?

[The Plutocat]

"Oh right ... he is so awesome he does not need to wish for stuff. Me on the other hand, I wish for world peace and stuff like that man."

[lucky7]

Granted! You are now the world's bottom...well...you know.

I wish for there to be a (peaceful) sign that we are or are not alone in the universe.

[Sissyl]

Granted! The collective of world leaders get a notice of eviction from Earth from the Galactic Emperor, effective from last of December 2013. No specific reason is given.

I wish I could convince people of whatever I felt like by merely talking for a short while.

[lucky7]

Granted, but you quickly get tired and bored of it.

I wish I had a constant *true seeing*.

[Little Skylark]

Granted! Now you're so fascinated by the mirror you can't go ten seconds without looking at yourself.

I wish I could make up my mind.

[El Dios De Los Almas Perdidas]

Granted! You decided to necro this thread and got someone to do it for you.

I wish things would get better.

[SnowJade]

Granted! Everything gets better - for everyone but you.

I wish I could reach the top shelf without a stepstool.

[El Dios De Los Almas Perdidas]

Granted! You grow to a freakishly huge size and end up wrestling Godzilla.

I wish I knew what I wanted to eat.

[lucky7]

Granted, but it's not to your liking.

I wish for nothing this time. Try to corrupt THAT!!!

[El Dios De Los Almas Perdidas]

Granted! You are now floating in limbo with nothing around you.

I wish the holiday decorations would put themselves up.

[SnowJade]

Granted! Your neighbors are, um, intrigued by the activities that Rudolph and Vixen appear to be pursuing. On your roof.

I wish this headache would go away.