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AM BARBARIAN's page

610 posts. Alias of Trinam.


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Perish Song wrote:
kestral287 wrote:
Perish Song wrote:

The text for wish/miracle is a bit murky, but I think it's fairly safe to say that Anzyr's interpretation is more likely.

And on the note of "a single task," it would be equally easy to just say, "sit there for X amount of time" and then finish off the geas'd individual while they are sitting there doing nothing.

Of course, defying a geas is only a -3 to ability scores. Which hurts, but not as much as doing nothing while a caster pokes at you with insert spell here.

"Sit there and do nothing" is perfectly legitimate-- but the geas cannot be something that would result in their certain death, so once you attack them all bets are off. And if you could finish them with a single spell anyway, why did you bother burning a Limited Wish?

The -3 is for if you can't follow the geas though, not if you're unwilling. You literally cannot simply choose not to obey the geas.

Oop, looks like you're right on the -3 thing.

As for the first part, it could always just be that you don't have the means to finish them off immediately. You're tapped out for the day, or don't have the right spells.

The "perform acts that result in certain death" part is incredibly murky, though, and is going to rely on GM interpretation. For example, if the geas caster says, "Sit there and allow the next spell I cast to affect you," is that certain death? The caster could simply cast a baleful polymorph spell, flesh to stone, dominate person or some other "non-lethal" spell that would make the geassed character a complete non-threat. What if the geas-er intends to kill the rabbit or shatter the stone?

SUPERSTITION.

CAN'T NOT SAVE.

AM SORRY FOR WRENCH IN WORKS, BARBARIAN AM TOO AWESOME TO FOLLOW ORDERS.

NO IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE THAT AM IN KINDERGARDEN. NOT TO MENTION ALL SMASHED WALLS FROM TELLING BARBARIAN 'BARBARIAN, AM NOT SMASH WALL.'


Kaouse wrote:

There's no point to discuss Explosive Runes against a Barbarian when they have no recourse for Limited Wish -> Geas.

Believe me, I've checked.

That said, if AM BARBARIAN can figure out a way to deal with standard action Geas without taking Profession (Lawyer), I would be greatly pleased to hear it.

ASSUMING BARBARIAN NOT HAVE SPELL TURNING AND AM THROWING BACK AT CASTY? (AM VERY GOOD POSSIBILITY, THIS BEEN THING FOR BARBARIAN SINCE BEFORE THREAD AM TWINKLE IN MOTHER THREAD EYE)

PUNCH SELF IN FACE, SUNDER SPELL, SMASH CASTY.

AM ABLE TO NEGATE LIMITED WISH WITH ONE PART OF FULL ATTACK. AM MORE EVIDENCE OF BARBARIAN NOT-BARBARIAN DESTRUCITY.

BESIDES, BARBARIAN AM ENGINEER. WHY NEED PROFESSION LAWYER WHEN AM ABLE SUNDER WAY OUT OF JAIL, WRECK JAIL ON WAY OUT?


ALTERNATIVELY, ROLL BARBARIAN.


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder 2.0 wrote:
Your playtest just launched. We'll see.

GOOD. LET BARBARIAN KNOW. AM NOT LIKING UNCHAINED STUFF ALL THAT MUCH, BARBARIAN MUCH PREFER CHAINS. AM ABLE TO USE CHAINS FOR SMASH, AM GETTING LIKE 10FT RANGE ON CHAINS.

KRATOS GUY CALLED WHEN BARBARIAN START USING, ASKING FOR MONEY. BARBARIAN MAKE SAVE VS LAWSUIT, THO, SO CHAINS AM STAYING. BARBARIAN AM MAKING ALL SAVES, ALWAYS.


Pathfinder 2.0 wrote:
knightnday wrote:

The wonderful thing about threads like this and others is when people point out all these grey area and/or broken spell combinations I can add to my list of "things to edit or remove in our game."

And you told me that I'd never be able to get through all the spells! :)

Not before you switch over to me, you won't. It's half the reason I'm inevitable.

...AM YOU ALLOWING BARBARIAN?

IF NOT, BARBARIAN SUNDER 2.0.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

BARBARIAN ALSO SAY BARBARIAN ALREADY DO ALL THINGS ALWAYS WITHOUT LOGICAL FALLACIES.

AM ACTUALLY SMASHING CASTY ROUND BEFORE UNITIATIVE ROLL VIA SPELL SUNDER MAZE, THEN FACE. THAT AM HOW BARBARIAN ROLLS. REALLY CASTY MISTAKES REGARDING BARBARIAN FUNCTIONS AM SUPER NUMEROUS, AM LIKE STARS IN SKY. TACTIC AM WORKING BECAUSE BARBARIAN WORKING, AND EVERYONE KNOW MANY OTHERS BEFORE AM TRYING STEP WITH BARBARIAN, AM NOT ABLE STEP LIKE BARBARIAN. SCORE AM WHAT, ELEVENTY BILLION TO POINT FIVE?

SILLY CASTY. BARBARIAN AM ALWAYS WINNER.


4 people marked this as a favorite.

YO.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
AM DR. PHIL wrote:

YOU NEED TO GET REAL AND ACCEPT AM INTO HEART!!......... THEN BUY BOOKS!! FOR 49.99!!!

AM ALSO THERAPYING YOUR WIFE........ OR SOMEONES DOG!! AM DR. PHIL!!!

BARBARIAN POINT OUT AM AM BARBARIAN MIDDLE NAME. AM DR. BARBARIAN AM BARBARIAN, PHD. AM ALREADY IN HEART. ALSO BARBARIAN GENERALLY AVOID PURCHASE OF BOOKS. THAT SEEM LIKE GATEWAY DRUG TO BECOME CASTY.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
AngryNerdRageDemon wrote:
RAAAAAAGE?!

AM VERY GOOD QUESTION. AS GENERAL RULE, BARBARIAN PREFER 'YES.'


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Khelben "Blackstaff" Arunson wrote:

Why is Elminster so f@+~ing popular, that old piece of f*@$ing s~~@ doesn't do anything, just sits in his tower smoking pot while his gay over achieving scribe does everything for him, meanwhile he bangs all these chicks he raised from babies (ewww, by the f%%~ing way) i.... i....just don't get it, i run f!$&ing Waterdeep practically by myself, well other then that ranger guy that lures people into his well/torture dungeon..... er, sorry i mean "Undermountain"

crap forgot where i was going..... oh yeah, does this robe make me look fat.... also i think Laeral is cheating on me.....

HAVE MAYBE CONSIDERED BARBARIAN? AM GETTING SPELL SUNDER, AND CLEARLY HAVE LOT OF RAGE ISSUES. WOULD POSSIBLY BE BETTER CAREER CHANGE. BARBARIAN AM GETTING ALL THE LADIES.


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LADY FIREDOVE wrote:

LOL

I'm Tac's wife.

Am Barbarian and Am Whateverelse are recurring jokes for us in life. :)

AM HAPPY TO HEAR BARBARIAN ABLE TO BRING GREAT JOY TO LIFE. MAY SMASH ALL, SUNDER ALL OF LIFE CHALLENGES.

AM SKALD wrote:
SUP

AM LEGENDARY BARDBARIAN.

BARBARIAN NOT SURE HOW REACT TO THIS MYTHICAL CREATURE.

AM LIKE NARWHAL, ONLY CANNOT USE AS LANCE AND ALSO MOUNT IN PINCH.


Anzyr wrote:
Perish Song wrote:
Anzyr wrote:
Perish Song wrote:
Let's be honest, though. As a GM, if your solution to anything is using explosive rune cheese, I will drop an unnanounced Great Old One, Cthulu on your head and not even feel bad.
Also, not immune to Explosive Runes. Cheers!

You are completely missing the point. If a player uses something this cheesy, I see no problem with the GM using something else equally cheesy. A CR 30 monster vs. a level 20 PC is pretty durn cheesy. If all else fails, the GM can just use the same trick back at the player: anything the player can use, the GM can use.

Or are we just doing a hypothetical to show how clever the explosive rune trick is? Because C'thulu tends to win when the wizard is killed by an aura from 300ft. away.

Uh you know that aura is laughable for Wizards right? Like only fail on a 1, assuming you even need to make a save at all. And honestly, I'm much more afraid of a properly played Level 20 caster then a CR 30 monster (that isn't effectively a full caster).

BARBARIAN FIND OUT WAY FOREVER AGO THAT IN HIGHEST LEVELS OF OPTOMITRIZATION ONLY STAT THAT MATTER AM UNITIATIVE.

BARBARIAN THINK THAT AM DUMB AND FIND BETTER WAY TO PLAY. NOW PERCEPTION AM ONLY STAT MATTERS IN HIGH END OPTOMITRIZATION. AM CLASS SKILL FOR BARBARIAN. NOT SO MUCH FOR CASTY.


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Snowblind wrote:
AM BARBARIAN wrote:
IF CASTY RELYING ON BARBARIAN TO NATURAL 1 TWICE IN ROW FOR PLAN TO WORK, AM ALREADY SMASH.

And yet, casters everywhere can take comfort in the fact that some day you will luck out on that 1 in 400 chance and you will die to a level 5 cleric coup de gracing with a battleaxe.

Besides, you are too used to silly god wizards trying to SoL against a character with good saves.

Against a Kitsune tossing out DC 28 persisted Charm Monsters you are actually at serious risk of becoming the caster's sock puppet.

BARBARIAN AM USED TO GOD WIZARDS THROWING SOL AGAINST BARBARIAN WITH GOOD SAVES.

NOW WATCH AS CASTY TALK ABOUT THROWING SUPER EASY SOL SAVE AGAIN AND CLAIM AM MORE OF THREAT BECAUSE... REASONS, BARBARIAN GUESS. AM FOX TAILS, MAYBE?

BARBARIAN NOT NEED ENGINEERING DEGREE FIND FAULT IN THIS ARGUMENT. UNLESS AM TALKING ABOUT THROWING CHARMED MONSTERS, WHICH AM ASKING FOR SPELL SUNDER. BARBARIAN LIKE MORE ALLIES.


IF CASTY RELYING ON BARBARIAN TO NATURAL 1 TWICE IN ROW FOR PLAN TO WORK, AM ALREADY SMASH.


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ElterAgo wrote:
Barbarian fails save

AM DIRTY LIE. BARBARIAN AM NEVER FAILING SAVES.


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andreww wrote:
Go home AM BARBARIAN, you are clearly drunk.

BARBARIAN AM ALWAYS DRUNK, DUE TO DRINKING AFTER EVERY VICTORY.

WHEN BARBARIAN AM ALWAYS WINNER, AM LOT OF BOOZE.

THIS WHY BARBARIAN HAVE FORT SAVE, AM KEEPING UP WITH ALL THE DRINKING. BARBARIAN LIVER BASICALLY MADE OF STEEL AND HAVE DAMAGE REDUCTION OF OWN.

WAIT.

andreww wrote:
synthesis summoner cohort

WHAT AM SAYING ABOUT BAT MOTHER??

BAT AM BAT AM BAT. SYNTHESIS AM CASTY, WHICH AM NOT BAT. CASTY AM HIGHLY RUDE.


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Anzyr wrote:

You know what square a Mazed target will return to. Simply place a stack of Explosive Runes, have minion that is guaranteed to fail to dispel them ready an action to do so when the Barbarian returns (likely many rounds later, ouch at having to make an INT check). Since the Explosive Runes are close enough to be read, there is no save. Take Xd6 force damage. or maybe just flat X damage if the caster felt like casting maximized Explosive Runes out of their slots on the downtime.

Pretty basic ya?

CLEARLY CASTY AM NEW AT THIS. IT OK, NOT ALL CAN STEP WITH BARBARIAN. THAT REASON FOR BARBARIAN NOT-BARBARIAN DESTRUCITY. AM SUNDER MAZE, AM OUT IN ONE ROUND. NOT HAVE MINUTES TO PREPARE, HAVE LESS THAN SIX SECONDS. IF CASTY AM DOING THINGS THEMSELF AND AM ANYWHERE NEAR MAZE, AM NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO AVOID REMAINING ATTACKS FROM BARBARIAN, ODDS AM 100% OF SMASH. ALSO BARBARIAN POINT OUT CASTY ALREADY RESORT TO NEED COHORT TO DEFEAT BARBARIAN, WHO AM MAN ENOUGH TO HAVE SHOWN UP MONO E MONO WITHOUT NEED FOR SHIRT. PEE-SHAW. CASTYS OF OLD AT LEAST TRY TO HIDE IN CLASS FEATURE BY SAYING 'FAMILIAR DO IT.'

NOT LIKE NEW TIMEY CASTY, ALREADY JUMP TO 'COHORT.' AM ESCALATION TO FIGHTS, AM SUPPOSED TO START WITH CLASS FEATURES, JUMP TO LEADERSHIP WHEN DESPERATE. CLEARLY, CASTY AM ALREADY DESPERATE.

MORE TO POINT, FIGHT AM GOING LIKE THIS. MAZE, SUNDER MAZE, SMASH CASTY, FLY OFF ON BATTY BAT TO NEXT FIGHT. GIVE OR TAKE MOVE ACTION FOR RANDOM GESTURES.

WAIT.

LOOT CASTY. FLY OFF ON BATTY BAT TO NEXT FIGHT. AM ALWAYS TIME FOR LOOTING.

BARBARIAN AM ALWAYS WINNER.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Strategytiger wrote:

Holy crap, it's the barbarian guy! I thought you retired.

...did the unchained barbarian pull you back in the game?

BARBARIAN NOT RETIRE. BARBARIAN MERELY HAVE EXTENDED VISIT TO DIFFERENT DEMIPLANE WHERE PEOPLE AM TALKING ABOUT 100X100 ICONS LIKE AM SOME HUGE DEAL, ALSO SOMETHING ABOUT 'TEH YAOIS.'

BARBARIAN NOT LIKE TEH YAOIS. AM SCARY STUFF.

SO BARBARIAN DECICDE SUNDER PLACE, BUT AM REALLY BIG. AM LIKE, WIDTH OF DREAMS. ALL THE DREAMS.

TOOK A WHILE, THEN TALKY MAN AM FORGETTING EMAIL FOR ACCOUNT. FUNNY STORY.

POINT AM, BARBARIAN NEVER DIE. ONLY FLY OFF TO SMASH OTHER PLACES.


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POST IN ALL CAPS ON CASTER-MARTIAL DESTRUCITY THREAD STATING BARBARIAN AM ALWAYS WINNER.

THAT DRAW PLENTY OF AGGRO. AM MAYBE BOASTING TAUNT THOUGH.


EVERYONE KNOW AM ONLY BARBARIAN NOT-BARBARIAN DESTRUCITY ANYWAY.

OR NOW BARBARIAN OTHER LESS GOOD-BARBARIAN DESTRUCITY.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

BARBARIAN ONCE HAVE SUFFICIENTLY BEEFY CASTY THAT AM ABLE SOAK ONE HIT TRY SOMETHING SIMILAR. CASTY WAVE HANDS, BARBARIAN PUNCH CASTY THROUGH FACE WITH LANCE, CASTY AM ALIVE BECAUSE BARBARIAN AM ALWAYS WINNER, BUT SOMETIMES ROLLS 1S ON DAMAGE. THEN CASTY CAST SPELL FOR REAL, BUT FAIL BECAUSE DAMAGE THAT TURN INCREASED DIFFICULTY OF CAST DEFENSIVE BY EIGHTY BECAUSE DAMAGE OCCURRED DURING CASTY TURN. SILLY CASTY NOT LEVEL EIGHTY, AM THEREFORE UNABLE TO SPELL.

FOR RECORD, CASTY THEN USE SWIFT ACTION TO CRY AND BEG FORGIVENESS.

NOT END SO WELL FOR CASTY.


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BARBARIAN HAVE SIMPLE QUESTION FOR CLEAVING KOBOLD:

AM YOU BARBARIAN?

IF NOT, WHY?


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Bob Bob Bob wrote:

So finally had a look at the Unchained rage powers. I'm... not impressed. It looks like they went out of their way to screw over AM BARBARIAN specifically, for reasons I can only presume involve hating fun. The nerf on two-handed damage (and therefore dual-wielding lances) is just the start.


  • Eater of Magic dropped the reroll (with free Evasion/Stalwart/Mettle).
  • Smasher is now ignore 1 hardness/level instead of just ignore hardness.
  • Strength Stance is just not a replacement for Strength Surge. It's, at best, better until level 8... for a very specific subset of Strength checks. And never for CMB/CMD.
  • Superstition drops SU, because apparently you just hate spells (and spell accessories).
  • Unexpected Strike now only works if they're the only one you threaten. Actually, was that one of his things?

Then there's the omissions. Spell Sunder (and no, the rider on Witch Hunter is not the same thing at all). Greater Elemental Blood, Raging Flier, or even Dragon Totem Wings. The other Dragon Totem stuff is there so it's not even because it's newer, just @#$% you if you want in-class flight (even the really awful ones). Then there's some newer stuff like Ultimate Clarity and the Bloodline rage powers.

ALL SAY TOGETHER WITH BARBARIAN:

AM. DIRTY. FIAT.

BARABRIAN NOT REALLY SEE PROBLEM WITH REMOVAL LESSER TOTEM POWERS, AM NEVER REASON NOT USE BEAST TOTEM. POUNCE AM ONLY POWER THAT MATTER. AM IN THE NAME OF ALPHA STRIKE, FOR SAKE OF PETE.

...HOW AM PETE, ANYWAY?


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BARBARIAN SUMMARIZE IN THREE WORDS: AM CRAPPY BARBARIAN.

BETTER FOR PLAYING WITHOUT DEGREE IN ENGINEERING, BUT TRADE OFF IMMENSE VERSIMILITUDE FOR SIMPLICITY. BARBARIAN STILL FIND IT HILARIOUS THAT GODS OF UNIVERSE NERFING BARBARIAN SO CASTYS ABLE TO KEEP UP.

STILL, MIGHT BE FUN TO TRY. BARBARIAN CONSIDER TAKING UP TAI CHI. STANCE AM SAME KIND OF IDEA, RIGHT?

OMMM.

OMMM.


6 people marked this as a favorite.

YO.


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Roberta Yang wrote:
Mortuum wrote:
There has to be a most powerful Nth level spell a most powerful weapon property for barbarians.
Why? Why does there have to be a "hey barbarians this weapon property is strictly superior to everything else and if you don't take this then you're hurting yourself for no reason" property?

BECAUSE AM WHAT SEPARATE CRAPPY BARBARIANS FROM NON-CRAPPY BARBARIANS.

NON-CRAPPY BARBARIANS AM WRECK ALL, AM SMASH ALL, AM SUNDER ALL.

CRAPPY BARBARIAN AM MORE IN LINE WITH OPTOMITRIZED CLASS OF OTHER TYPE.

BARBARIAN NOT SAYING ALL ASPIRING BARBARIAN NEED +5 FURIOUS COURAGEOUS LANCE FOR OPTOMITRIZATION OF DAMAGE OUTPUT.

BARBARIAN JUST SAYING ASPIRING BARBARIAN WITHOUT LANCE AM NOT NEARLY AS AWESOME AS BARBARIAN.

BARBARIAN ALSO NOT SAYING NEED RAGING VITALITY.

BARBARIAN JUST SAYING NOT TAKING RAGING VITALITY GENERALLY LEADS TO BEING DEAD.

THAT AM GAME.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
StreamOfTheSky wrote:

I'm actually curious on AM BARBARIAN's opinion on this idea....

Someone pointed out to me that if all of your natural weapons are the same kind, they are primary by default, even if they'd normally be secondary. So, the pincers evolution, while normally crap b/c it's 2ndary weapons, can be primary if you get rid of any other kind of nat weapon the eidolon has. Sadly, you can't get rid of a bite attack, so the only viable option is biped base form, to swap out the claws. But then you can get a massive reach, higher damage than w/ claws, and Grab on all of your pincer attacks with a significant bonus on the grapple checks from grab and the pincers. And it looks like a badass eldritch horror.

Would AM BARBARIAN say such an eidolon is still crap, or no? On the one hand, no pounce. On the other, it can give out lots and lots of hugs!

BARBARIAN ONCE HAVE OLD FRIEND WHO AM CRAZY GRAPPLETHING. PROBLEM WITH GRAPPLETHINGS AM THAT THERE AM LITTLE WAY TO KEEP HOLD OF THING THAT AM GRABBED ONTO, BETWEEN GREASE AND ESCAPE ARTIST AND TELEPORTY STUFF. GENERALLY, BARBARIAN HOLD TO TETORI BEING PROPER MEANS OF BEING CRAZY GRAPPLETHING. HOWEVER, PINCER SYNTHESIST SEEM PLAUSABLE ALTERNATIVE IF CONSESSIONS AM MADE AT HIGH LEVEL PLAY FOR THINGS LIKE TELEPORTYNESS AND OTHER SUCH METHODS COMMONLY USED FOR GRAPPLE ESCAPE.

STILL NOT LIKELY EVER GRAPPLE BARBARIAN WITH STRENGTH SURGE, THOUGH.


StreamOfTheSky wrote:
Synthesist has pounce available at level 1 (or never ever ever if he chooses one of the inferior base forms ;) ), barbarian has it at 10. That is hardly "about the same time."

BARBARIAN POINT OUT THAT BARBARIAN GET GOOD POUNCE AT LEVEL 10 AND SYNTHESIST GET GOOD POUNCE NEVER BECAUSE AM NOT BARBARIAN.

BARBARIAN AM IN AGREEMENT ABOUT SYNTHESIST FORMS HOWEVER, NONPOUNCE AM CRAPPY SYNTHESIST.


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Captain Sir Hexen Ineptus wrote:
Trinam wrote:
Captain Sir Hexen Ineptus wrote:
Trinam wrote:
Pounce 1/day at low levels only matters at around level 6+. Doing it only 1/day is lackluster. Doing it 1/day for 1000 gp and using a swift action on an item that has a slot so you can't easily stack it seems perfectly fair.
Except if you change shirts after combat. 1k at higher levels are not that much, especially if you can make it yourself.
And by that point you're level 10 and a Barbarian can do it every turn. I still don't see the problem.
But that is the thing, your spending 10 levels getting the ability, not just 1k per use you want a day, but once per combat. I remember when I first saw the barbarian pounce ability, and I was fearful of it, but the fact that it took 10 levels to get made okay. This is pounce at level 1 once per combat at 1k per us a day.

OH GOD. AM END OF WORLD. STOP PRESSES. THAT ALMOST FRIGHTENING AS POWER PEARL LEVEL 1, AM GETTING NEW SPELL ONCE COMBAT ONCE DAY PER 1000 GOLD.

WHICH AM TO SAY, NOT FRIGHTENING AT ALL, AS ANYTHING MAKING CASTY BETTER AM USELESS.

AM SIMPLY WAY FOR NON-BARBARIAN GET CLOSER TO BARBARIAN, CLOSE BARBARIAN NOT-BARBARIAN DESTRUCITY. AM SOMETHING CELEBRATE, NOT SOMETHING DISPARAGE.

NATURALLY, STILL NOT NEARLY GOOD AS BARBARIAN, BUT TAKE WHAT CAN GET.

BARBARIAN HEARTILY RECCOMEND ALL FIGHTYS CONSIDER WEARING FIVE OF SHIRT, TAKE OFF ONE AFTER NOTHER AFTER NOTHER.

MAYBE THEN BE 20% AS GOOD AS BARBARIAN.


RuyanVe wrote:
And the barbarian does what? Damage - that's his shtick, that's (the only thing) what he is good at.

BARBARIAN RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE, PUT LANCE THROUGH FACE.

...

WAIT. BARBARIAN SENSE TRAP.


Umbral Reaver wrote:

What's next?

AM THERAPIST?

BARBARIAN TRY THERAPIST ONCE, BUT BARBARIAN ONLY HAVE INTIMIDATE, NOT BOTHER WITH DIPLOMACY. ALSO BARBARIAN HAVE STANDING RULE REGARDING CONVERSATIONS OVER 50 SECONDS AND STABBING.

TURNS OUT INTIMIDATION AND STABBING MAKE FOR VERY BAD THERAPIST, BARBARIAN ONLY ABLE GET REPEAT BUSINESS FROM CREEPY GUY NAMED NILES WHO WANT TALK ABOUT MOTHER, NOT CARE WHO GET IN WAY.

BARBARIAN SHUDDER THINKING ABOUT IT SOMETIMES. AM VERY DARK TIME IN BARBARIAN PAST. GUYS NAMED NILES AM SERIOUSLY CREEPY.


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GUY WIGGLEFACE, BARBARIAN APPRECIATE WHAT AM TRYING TO DO, BUT CASTY NERF GUY AM HAVING PERSECUTION COMPLEX SO TRANSPARENT AM INVISIBLE LIKE CASTYS BARBARIAN AM SMASHING SO OFTEN. AM MAYBE STEMMING FROM HAVING AVATAR WHO DIET AM PRIMARILY SNAKES. BARBARIAN GET SICK AND TIRED OF MOTHERFLIPPING SNAKES ON MOTHERFLIPPING MENU, SO BARBARIAN CERTAIN CASTY NERF GUY AM TOO.

BARBARIAN ALSO STATE FOR RECORD THAT THERAPIST NOT WEAR PANTIES, ALL THERAPIST AM REQUIRED BY LAW WEAR BOXERS. EVEN LADYTHERAPISTS.

WHAT BARBARIAN AM TRYING TO SAY HERE AM THAT MAGI NOT TO POWERFUL, AM DYING TO LANCE TO FACE MUCH SAME AS OTHER SQUISHY CASTYS. JUST TAKE LIKE ONE MORE LANCE HIT. JEEZ.


johnlocke90 wrote:
Rage Lance Pounce with a mount?

GENERALLY YES.


Rynjin wrote:
CunningMongoose wrote:


Anyway, have it your way, man, your holier-than-thou attitude ensure I will stay away from this board, and you'll be free to spread your gaming religion all you want.
We don't like non-believers around here anyway.

BARBARIAN POINT OUT BARBARIAN AM ATHEIST. NOT BELIEVE IN GODS AFTER LAST TIME CLERIC TRY CASTING MIRACLE STOP BARBARIAN.

TAKE LIKE THREE WEEKS CLEAN UP ALL DEAD SOLAR BITS, MAN. BARBARIAN NOT REMEMBER FONDLY.


5 people marked this as a favorite.

BARBARIAN AM INSULTED.

AM SUGGESTING THAT BECAUSE BARBARIAN AM DUMPING CHA AND LIKE MAYBE DUMPING PART OF INT (BARBARIAN NOT REMEMBER, MAYBE BECAUSE OF INT DUMP, MAYBE BECAUSE BARBARIAN SPEND MOST NIGHTS DRINKING OUT OF FLASK MADE OF CASTY SKULL) THAT BARBARIAN NOT ABLE GET DECENT PRICES ON MAGIC ITEMS AND TREATED LIKE MORON?

BARBARIAN DOUBLE DOG DARE ANY PERSON ANYWHERE AM GIVING BARBARIAN RAW DEAL. BARBARIAN KNOW PRICES. PRICES AM WISDOM, AND BARBARIAN NEVER DUMP WISDOM, AM PART OF PROFESSION (ENGINEER) AND BARBARIAN HAVE DEGREE. AM ABLE ENGINEER ENTIRE DEVICES/WEAPONS IN BRAIN, AM ABLE DETERMINE APPROXIMATE PRICE OF RAW MATERIALS.

THEN BARBARIAN USE MAGIC (NOT CASTY MAGIC, BETTER MAGIC. AM NUMBERS MAGIC): MULTIPLY BY TWO. BARBARIAN AWARE AM DIFFICULT CONCEPT, SOMETIMES BARBARIAN USE FINGERS.

THEN BARBARIAN USE MORE NOT CASTY BUT BETTER NUMBERS MAGIC: DETERMINE STRUCTURAL WEAKPOINT OF BUILDING, CASUALLY POINT OUT WITH LANCE THROUGH STRUCTURAL WEAKPOINT, USE LACK OF WEAKPOINT AS LEVERAGE IN CURRENT PRICING DEBATE AFTER SURVIVING CAVING BUILDING BY BEING AWESOME. GENERALLY GET ITEM FOR FREE AFTER BUILDING DROPPED ON PERSON TRYING CHEAT BARBARIAN.

UNRELATED NOTE, AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATION TACTIC MAYBE PISS OFF IMPORTANT PEOPLE. AM WHY BARBARIAN NOT CURRENTLY ALLOWED LAND ANYWHERE IN WESTERN CHELIAX. BARBARIAN RECOMMEND SAVE FOR IMPORTANT ITEM, ALSO RECOMMEND MAKING SURE CAN CARRY OFF ALL STUFF SURVIVE FALLING BUILDING. (THIS NOT PROBLEM FOR BARBARIAN, BUT MAYBE PROBLEM FOR SQUISHY CASTY WITH 7 STRENGTH. SILLY CASTY, WHO DUMP STRENGTH, NOT THINK BE RECKONING FROM GM?)


BARBARIAN GENERALLY FIND LANCE TO FACE PERFECTLY GOOD WAY TO NERF CASTYS. NOT NEED MULTICLASS TO BE BARBARIAN, AM STILL PUNCHING SPELLS SO HARD AM EXPLODING UNDER FORCE OF AWESOME.

WHY AM THIS NECESSARY? BARBARIAN AM CONFUSED.

1d100 ⇒ 23

AM OKAY THOUGH, BARBARIAN MUDDLE THRU SOMEHOW.


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EVERYONE KNOW CASTY PARTIES AM TERRIBLE PARTIES. AM ALL FOR EGGHEADS AND RELIGIOUS NUTS. WHEN HALF OF PEOPLE AM IN CORNER BEING CREEPY AND OTHER HALF AM PRAYING TO GOD, REALLY WHAT AM POINT OF PARTY IN FIRST PLACE? BRING MELEE CLASSES, AM HAVING FULL BAB TO HIT THAT. BRING ROGUE, AT LEAST PROBABLY END UP WITH GOOD STORY ABOUT BREAKING INTO MUSEUM OR SOMETHING. BRING BARD FOR GORUM SAKE, AT LEAST AM ABLE TO PROVIDE MUSIC. AM DOWN TO EARTH ENOUGH TO DRINK BEER, GET WOMEN, WAKE UP SIX DAYS LATER WITH LAMPSHADE ON HEAD IN GUTTER OF SKETCHY BAR.

FOR OPTIMAL PARTY, BARBARIAN/BARBARIAN/BARBARIAN/BARBARIAN.

FAILING THAT, BARBARIAN/BARBARIAN/BARBARIAN/BARD TO CAST CREATE MORE BOOZE, AND SING ROWDY SONGS.


DID BARBARIAN MISS LOUD VOICES PARTY? BARBARIAN WANTED TO PLAY.


doctor_wu wrote:
Also spell sunder can work on getting rid of a harmful spell on your allies.

GREATEST. RAGE. POWER. EVER.


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Darksol the Painbringer wrote:
I liked it better when AM BARBARIAN posted (even though I know they're the same guy and he does this on purpose), because a Barbarian is more inclined to be stupid and has no reason to act smart or rational. All they see is big axe of cutty-cut-ness, and tiny skull to crack. That, and the post is more funny coming from a character class that is supposed to act that way.

BARBARIAN APPRECIATE DEEP ANALYSIS OF BARBARIAN VS PALADIN DIALECTIC, BUT AM REGRETFUL TO INFORM TALKY PERSON THAT PALADIN AM BROTHER. AM NOT SAME PERSON, AM CLEARLY DIFFERENT. MOM AM ONLY SIMILARITY

HAVE DIFFERENT PORTRAITS, SUBTLY DIFFERENT TALKY PATTERNS AND EVERYTHING. ALSO PALADIN PROBABLY NOT SMASH IF TALKING FOR 50 SECONDS. RELIGION AM LIKE, ALL ABOUT THE TALKING FOR 50 SECONDS.


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AM NOT LICH MERELY ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING CASTY?

AM NEVER ILLEGAL SMASH CASTY WHO AM GETTING IN WAY BY BEING SMELLY AND DEAD. AT LEAST, SHOULD NOT BE ILLEGAL EVER. AM PROBABLY GOOD ACT TO KEEP PHYSICS RUNNING AT RATE AM SUPPOSED TO RUN AT. CASTYS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WHOLE CALL THINGS OUT OF NOTHING AM DOING TO LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS. BARBARIAN GIVE HINT: AM NOT GOOD THINGS.

BARBARIAN RECOMMEND LIBERAL USE OF SMASH ON PRINCIPLE. MAYBE USE PHYLACTERY OF FAITHFULNESS IF REALLY UNSURE. SEEMS BEST WAY FOR PALADIN TO COVER ALL GROUNDS AND KNOW IF SMASH AM VIOLATION.


12 people marked this as a favorite.
JrK wrote:
as if he just suggested to give Fighters infinite Time Stop or something.

FIGHTYS GIVE ANYBODY PERMANENCIED TIME STOP AT WILL AS PRIMARY CLASS ABILITY.

AM CALLED STAB THEM TO DEATH. TIME PRETTY STOPPED.


DayneTheWickman wrote:

So instead of going casty, Red should go barbie?

Er...um...that didn't come out right...

BARBARIAN AM GREATEST CLASS. IF POSSIBLE, CONSIDER RETRAINING; TRADE ALL FIGHTY LEVELS FOR BARBARIAN LEVELS.

DWARF AM OK FIGHTY THOUGH, AM HAVING ABILITY TO TAKE SPELL SUNDER AS FEET INSTEAD OF RAGE POWER. BUT NOT AS GOOD BECAUSE LIMIT ON USES AND STANDARD ACTION. BUT STILL GOOD, BECAUSE SPELL SUNDER.

EITHER WAY, MAYBE TALK WITH LADYFRIEND, CONVINCE THAT DWARF AM NOT SO BAD AS FIGHTY PERSON? SEEMS LIKE COMMUNICATION PROBLEM TO BARBARIAN.

MAYBE NOT TALK MORE THAN 50 SECONDS, THOUGH. MIGHT END BADLY.


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BARBARIAN AM OCCASIONALLY PICKING BRAINS OF CASTYS WHO AM NOT SEEMING TO HAVE GREAT PROBLEM WITH MAGIC.

CASTY BRAINS KEEP BEING STUCK IN BARBARIAN LANCE GROOVES AFTER HIT IN HEAD WITH LANCE. AM MILDLY ANNOYING TO BE PICKING.

MORE INPORTANTLY, MOST SYSTEMS AM NEEDING TO BE BALANCED SOMEHOW. IN CASE OF PATHFINDER, BALANCE AM GENERALLY PLACED BY PUTTING LIMITS ON NUMBER OF SPELLS.

BARBARIAN DOES RECOMMEND NOT MIX FIGHTY LEVELS WITH CASTY LEVELS. CASTY LEVEL AM GOD OR SOMETHING, OTHERWISE CASTY AM SUPER GIMPED, NOT EVEN HAVE CHANCE WHEN NEED CAST SPELL ON THING THAT AM TRYING RAGELANCEPOUNCE. NOT THAT CASTY HAVE CHANCE ANYWAY, BUT FULL CASTY LEVEL AM AT LEAST SPORTING.


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BARBARIAN NOT HAVE BATTLE CRY. IT AM POINTLESS TO CRY ANYTHING WHEN ENEMY AM ALREADY FINE BLOOD MIST BEHIND BARBARIAN BY TIME ENEMY ABLE TO HEAR BARBARIAN.

BARBARIAN GUESS IF DID EVER CALL ANYTHING, AM PROBABLY 'RAAAAAAAAAAAAGH' OR SOMETHING. BARBARIAN NOT PARTICULARLY ELEPHANT.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Sangalor wrote:
@AM BARBARIAN: HOW FEEL AFTER DISCOVER CAN FLY WHILE FIGHTY NOT CAN? AM GREATEST, TOTEM GREATEST, LAUGH AT CASTY AND FIGHTY NOW TOO? :-P

BARBARIAN FLYING TOTEM POWER AM ONLY USED ON CRAPPY BARBARIAN, BECAUSE NON-CRAPPY BARBARIAN RAGE CYCLE. FLYING DRAGON TOTEM POWER CAUSE WINGS TO DISAPPEAR ON RAGE CYCLE, SUDDENLY FALLING THROUGH AIR INSTEAD OF FLYING. CRAPPY DRAGON BARBARIAN GO SPLAT, ROLL LESS CRAPPY BARBARIAN NEXT TIME.

BARBARIAN JUST USE GOOD OPTION FOR FLYING INSTEAD, LIKE ARMOR. OR BOOTS. OR DIRE BAT. DIRE BAT AM PROBABLY BEST OPTION.

BESIDES, NOT LIKE AM SURPRISE THAT FIGHTY AM NOT ABLE TO BEAT BARBARIAN. AM CLEAR BARBARIAN NOT-BARBARIAN DESTRUCITY IN GAME, ANYONE NOT ABLE SEE THAT AM GETTING 50% MISS CHANCE VS ALL OPPONENTS AND AM EFFECTIVELY ALWAYS FLAT-FOOTED, IF CATCH BARBARIAN MEANING.

ALSO, BARBARIAN AM ABLE READ NORMAL FONT JUST FINE. BARBARIAN JUST TALK LIKE BARBARIAN DUE TO INABILITY TO GRASP DELICATE INTRICACIES OF SOCIAL INTERACTION DUE TO ALWAYS SMASHING AFTER TALKING 50 SECONDS. ALSO BARBARIAN AM LOUD.


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THIS AM ANCIENT STORY FROM LONG AGO. ONCE THERE AM THIS CASTY WHO AM ALL LIKE, 'HEY BARBARIAN, YOUR BARBARIMOM AM ORC!' AND BARBARIAN AM HIGHLY INSULTED, BECAUSE ORC BLOOD COME FROM FATHER'S SIDE OF FAMILY. CASTY DECIDED WANT TO STEP TO BARBARIAN. BARBARIAN AM ONLY LEVEL 5 AT THIS TIME, AND AM NEW TO CAREER. BARBARIAN CHARGE CASTY, BUT CASTY AM LIKE LEVEL 10 AND AM GOING ALL 'CONTINGENCY! I HAS A WALL!' ON BARBARIAN AND BARBARIAN AM LIKE 'OW, FACE AM NOT ABLE SUNDER WALL YET' AND CASTY AM LAUGHING, RIDING OFF ON HORSE.

BARBARIAN SWEAR GET REVENGANCE ON CASTY, BUT NOT SEE CASTY AGAIN FOR MANY YEARS. NOT UNTIL BARBARIAN AM BIG, BEEFY PILE OF AWESOMENESS ON FORUMS NOW. FINALLY SEE CASTY IN TOWN, CASTY DECIDING GO 'NICE MOUNT. THAT AM SOMETHING BARBARIMOM BIRTH TOO? AM LOOKING LIKE ORC.'

BARBARIAN CHARGE AGAIN. CASTY AM ALL LIKE 'CONTINGENCY! I HAS A WALL!' ON BARBARIAN AND BARBARIAN AM LIKE 'I HAS A LANCE THAT PIERCE FACES!' AND CASTY AM ALL LIKE 'OH CRAP' AND THEN LANCE GO THROUGH CASTY. CASTY'S FACE SO RED, LOOK ON CASTY'S FACE PRICELESS.

MORAL OF STORY AM NOT TO PICK ON CHARACTERS HALF YOUR LEVEL, UNLESS AM BARBARIAN.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Evil Lincoln wrote:
If AM BARBARIAN had a higher wisdom he would have seen this thread for what it was by reading the title.

BARBARIAN NOT TAKE SENSE MOTIVE, GENERALLY JUST SMASH AFTER 50 SECONDS OF TALKING.

BARBARIAN MAYBE GET IOUN STONE +2 INT FOR SKILL BEFORE READING THREAD NEXT TIME.


ASPIRING BARBARIAN FORGETTING SPELL SUNDER.

PUNCH SPELL WITH CLAW, AM NO MORE SPELL. AM THAT GOOD, FOR SERIOUS.

ALSO PERHAPS CONSIDER URBAN BARBARIAN. LACK OF HP MAKES LIKELY THAT BARBARIAN SUDDENLY DIE WHEN KNOCKED BELOW 0, URBAN BARBARIAN AVOID PROBLEM AND STACK WITH INVULNERABLE RAGER.

OUTSIDE OF THAT SEEM RELATIVELY SOLID, AND FIEND TOTEM FINAL POWER AM OK, BUT AM NOT POUNCE. SEEMS BEST FOR IF CHANGELING FIGHTING LOTS OF GOOD AND NEUTRAL CHARACTERS, AM MAYBE NOT SO GOOD FOR HERO FIGHTING EVIL. MAYBE LATER GET TERRIFYING HOWL FOR USE WITH AUTO-SHAKEN POWER OF TOTEM.

THESE BARBARIAN INSTINCTS ON SUBJECT ANYWAYS.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

WAIT. AM THIS SUDDENLY CASTY-MARTIAL THRED?

BARBARIAN WANT READY ACTION FOR RAGELANCEPOUNCE.

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