New Monster help

[Sc00b]

Hello! First post here and I was hoping to get some feedback on a monster a I made.
This is a creature the party will see in the dreamlands as they are inside a giant beehive to collect some queen bee honey. The idea is big beefy bee guards.

Bumblebear
Creature 13
Huge Animal, Fey

AC 33
HP 180
Initiative 23

Weaknesses: Smoke Susceptibility

Fort 23 Ref 26 Will 20

Speeds: Land 20, Burrow 10, Fly 60

Str +8 Dex +8, Con +5, Int +4 Wis +5 Cha +4

Skills: Acrobatics +27, Athletics +22, Performance +24

Attacks: Claw +25 3d10+16 slashing, Stinger +23 3d10+14 (Deadly 2d10)

Actions: Buzz-by attack. 2 actions, The Bumblebear makes a stride action. At any point during the stride it may strike at an enemy and then continue moving.

Passives: Smoke Susceptibility. A Bumblebear is slowed 1 for 1 round if it starts its turn in heavy smoke.

Final Sting: When a Bumblebear dies it may make a single ranged strike with its stinger on a target within 30ft as it fires its stinger out in one last act of vengeance.

[Ascalaphus]

So, I can see you used the GM guidelines for monster creation, the numbers are overall in the normal ranges. Let's look at some details then.

Nitpick: You wrote Initiative instead of Perception.

AC is moderate, HP is low, and saves are high/moderate/low - overall this makes the creature a bit fragile.

As for attacks, you used the Moderate to hit and Moderate damage.

The buzz-by attack is probably supposed to work with its fly speed, but technically speaking, a Stride is only land movement. You might want to look at the Zephyr Hawk for how you could word the ability for flying.

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Overall, I think you might have lowballed this monster a bit. It has only moderate offense, and is a bit weak defensively. You can probably afford to make it a bit more powerful in one area.

You could use the Base Roadmaps (GM Core p. 115, or GMG p. 59) to figure out a good combination of strong and weak points.

[SuperBidi]

I'm surprised this creature doesn't have poison. I also think it's too "simple" for a level 13 creature. Also, there's nothing reminding it's a Fey and not an Animal.

As they are supposed to be guards, they should have defensive abilities. Some dodge-based one would be fitting.

[Finoan]

Another thought to consider (similar to what SuperBidi is mentioning with the defensive abilities, but more general): Is this creature intended to be a boss-type enemy that fights alone against the party, or is it going to be one of several creatures that fight as a group?

If it is a boss type where it fights alone, then it definitely needs at least one good reaction ability. Something that triggers on most rounds unless the party figures out the ability and changes their battle tactics to avoid triggering it. It could be a defensive ability like a Giant Fly has, or an offensive ability like a Grauladon has. Notice how creature level isn't what determines if a creature is intended to be a boss enemy or not.

[Captain Morgan]

I was assuming it was intended to be fought as a group, actually. Your boss would be a bumblebee queen. So I'd buff up the stats a bit but keep them pretty straightforward.

Worth noting the GMG building creature rules had some contradictory guidance on whether to default to high or moderate AC. GM Core made it a little clearer high should be the default for combat critters.

[Sc00b]

Thank you all for the input. Here is a slightly updated version with more health, slightly changed attacks with a poison effect on the sting, and a reworded buzzby actions.

Also yes! The plan is two of these with a Queen being the main boss behind them.

Bumblebear
Creature 13
Huge Animal, Fey

AC 33
HP 250
Perception 23

Weaknesses: Smoke Susceptibility

Fort 23 Ref 26 Will 20

Speeds: Land 20, Burrow 10, Fly 60

Str +8 Dex +8, Con +5, Int +4 Wis +5 Cha +4

Skills: Acrobatics +27, Athletics +22, Performance +24

Attacks:

Claw +27 3d10+16 slashing,

Stinger +27 3d18+14 (Deadly 2d8)

Actions:

Buzz-by attack. 2 actions, The Bumblebear flies up to half of its speed, makes two strikes, then may continue to fly the remainder of its fly speed. The multiple attack pentalty doesnt apply until both attacks finish.

Honeyscent: On a successful strike with the Bumblebears sting attack the enemy is subjected the effects of the Honeyscent poison.

Passives: Smoke Susceptibility. A Bumblebear is slowed 1 for 1 round if it starts its turn in heavy smoke.

Final Sting: When a Bumblebear dies it may make a single ranged strike with its stinger on a target within 30ft as it fires its stinger out in one last act of vengeance.

[Sc00b]

Ascalaphus wrote:

So, I can see you used the GM guidelines for monster creation, the numbers are overall in the normal ranges. Let's look at some details then.

Nitpick: You wrote Initiative instead of Perception.

AC is moderate, HP is low, and saves are high/moderate/low - overall this makes the creature a bit fragile.

As for attacks, you used the Moderate to hit and Moderate damage.

The buzz-by attack is probably supposed to work with its fly speed, but technically speaking, a Stride is only land movement. You might want to look at the Zephyr Hawk for how you could word the ability for flying.

---

Overall, I think you might have lowballed this monster a bit. It has only moderate offense, and is a bit weak defensively. You can probably afford to make it a bit more powerful in one area.

You could use the Base Roadmaps (GM Core p. 115, or GMG p. 59) to figure out a good combination of strong and weak points.

Does the revised creature above look more in line?