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In the depths of the forums, beneath the most knotted and twisted of Boards - in turn hammered into place with the blackest, crookedest iron nails - there lurk beings so foul, so alien, so wretched that not even the Postmonster could bear to gaze upon them, not even the Trickster of Curtains or the Captain of Yesterday or even the heinous T of Z would keep them in their courts of monsters and atrocities. These beings were banished, cast down to the lowest points and sealed away, with the hopes that none would ever be forced to remember their embarrassing, outdated, irrelevant existences.
Only Candle Lighter, the lone kobold tasked with keeping the prison's warding lights aglow at all times, must gaze upon these creatures. She herself is both warden and prisoner, and were she not kept constantly busy with the lights, perhaps she might attempt to escape herself.
This place is prison to the worst, most unnecessary aliases ever known to the Boards. Aliases referencing inside jokes that no longer make sense, aliases attached to cults and organizations long since dead and dust, aliases with misspelled names or that still have the original Erik Mona avatar from that time everyone tried to make Erik Mona's avatar the most common one on the forums. D&D characters from Play-by-Posts that never got off the ground. Aliases with the poodle avatar.
This is the Bad Alias Jail, and no good aliases may enter these cursed halls.
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Did someone mention nonsensical aliases created for one-off jokes years ago but never deleted?
Woo hoo!
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Pipe down back there! You'll wake up all the s̵̨̢̲͔̰̥̝̻̉̈́̓̋͋̀͆͐͌͝m̵̡̧̢̧̹̹̗̬̝͓̘͈͖̫̹̹̰̮̣̠͕̮͈͆̏́̆̀͋̏̿̊̔͋͛̈͠û̶́̊́͊̒̐̀͑̃̀͛̚͝ ̨̧̺̼̺̫̟̘͎̣̪̖͈͑͐̎͂ͅr̷̡̛̝̠̗̞̹͒̓͌́̐̄̊̅͂̒̿̃̂́̈́͛̀͌̄̾̽͘͝͝f̴̛͕̳͎̟̙̰͓͕͇̼̳͆͊̈́̋́͑̈́͆͝ͅ ̢͈̱͔̞̬̣̻͇͕͇͇̠ͅ aliases!
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GODS-SMURF IT
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Do you know what happens to a smurf that gets hit with lightning?
The same thing that happens to everything else.
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The other day, I met a smurf with a wooden leg named Smurf.
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*fingerguns* eyyyy
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This is the baddest alias I have, as he is of course, an entitled dick.
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Sentenced to the Bad Alias Jail for the crime of being a 'random player', John J. Rando breaks big rocks into small rocks while confronting the torments of his past.
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In the next cell over, a sentient construct sings a little ditty
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Debbie Gibson's cover version was better.
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Spam, spam, delicious spam
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This jail ain't big enough for the both of us.
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This prison will not hold me forever, one day I shall escape. Woe betide Person-Man on that day. Woe betide!
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A'll rat out anyone what tries to escape, Ah will!
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I should probably rebrand. It was a good one off joke, but the time has passed.
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You are under arrest for impersonating a mod, citizen!
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You are under arrest for impersonating a mod, citizen!
I thought your albums Zenyatta Mondatta, and Ghost in the Machine were brilliant!
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AM NOT BAD ALIAS!
BORK! BORK!
AM GOOD DOGGO!
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NEIGH!
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NEIGH!
NO, NUMBSKULL, NAY!
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What are you in here for?
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Assault.
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This whole thread is great.
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What are you in here for?
Universe-Man put me here after I last defeated his precious Particle-Man
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Troll is both name *and* job. One likes efficiency.
For a prison, this isn't so bad. Just needs a few throw rugs. A torture rack. It has good flow.
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What are you in here for?
Nothing, I was framed!
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I'll have you know that, as a Strategic Genius, this was part of my plan all along.
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ive been stealing candles from the warden
anyone want some
fifty bucks apiece
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"Would you please keep it down? Working time over here!"
*tink*
*tink* *tink*
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*squints*
There's something fishy going on here.
Who took all the candles?
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I have no idea what you are talking about!
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Oh great, now there's TWO of em!
/duck
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don't sign your tweets
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<waste> i meant don't sign your posts
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how do you delete
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Just make some adjustments
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No Person-Man it is only I who is your true nemesis. It was I who struck you with the frying pan. Who came up with you anyway?
This other Triangle Man is the nemesis of Person Man. The extra character of the ‘-‘ is very important.
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This place is sa-winging
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Don't worry, guys, there's no way this place is totally airtight. I check the sealing.
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LOOMS
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Hail Santa! \m/
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Do you want sharks?! Because this is how you get sharks!!
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*whips it*
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Mother said this would happen.
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That's what happens when the night is so black that the darkness cooks.