"Not the stupidest metaphor in the thread, are we?"

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Okay, it's stupid, but at least it's NEW!: This is just a game where we come up with 1001+ variants of the good old "not the [X]-est [Y] in/on/etc the [Z], are you?" genre of litotical insults. SO. Without further ado:

Not the sharpest sword in the stone, are you?

Not the wiliest coyote on the ACME mailing list, are we?

Not the stickiest remora under the shark, are ya'?

Not the smelliest cheese in all of France, n'est-ce pas?

Not the most hand-sanitizing perfume in Arabia, art thou?

Not the perkiest pair of tits in the ol' porno, now are you?

Not the very-baddest man who's ever been wished into The Cornfield, is that it?!?

[avr]

Not the luckiest die in the box, are you?

Not the smartest dog on Lassie's friend list, eh?

You're not the catchiest tune on our playlist, huh?

[YawarFiesta]

Not the fluffiest bunny in the nest, are you?

Not the baddest dude to ever save the President, are we?

12/1001+

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Not the most punctual trolley servicing the Neighborhood of Make-Believe, I presume?

Hardly the most penetrative tentacle in the hentai flick, are you?

Not exactly the crunchiest frog in the Whizzo Quality Assortment, eh what?

[avr]

Not the evilest overlord to ever wear a cape, I reckon.

Far from the worst disease in the world, yeah? Someone said this to a coronavirus once. Use with caution.

Not the fastest car to start at the traffic lights, that's for sure.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Not the most vibrantly-green fountain of slime on Nickelodeon, are you?

Not the most inherently-funny vicar amid the green and pleasant hills of England, aye?

Not the most esoteric invertebrate in The Far Side, huh?

[George Carlin]

Not the most protein-rich cake in the back of the icebox, huh?

Not quite the most lucrative toll-booth in the Tri-State Area, are ya?

Not the most spacious place for my stuff, are you?

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Not the most suspicious-looking Lite-Brite in the ol' guerilla-marketing campaign, obviously.

You're hardly the most insulting mistranslation in the whole of the Hungarian-English phrasebook, ez helyes?

Obviously not the most diabolical scheme lurking deep within the labyrinthine horrors of the Overlord's cavernous cranium, nyeeezzz?

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Not the jingliest bell on the jester's motley, are you?

Not the bluest methamphetamine in New Mexico, si?

Not the most punctual train in Mussolini's Italy, ci?

Not the most fatally-alluring will-o'-the-wisp in the swamp, huh?

Not exactly the topmost frozen corpse to still lie abandoned on the slopes of Mt. Everest, are we?

[GoatToucher]

Not the tightest sphincter at the orgy, are we?

Not the snuggest banana-hammock at the pool party, are we?

Not the least impotent fellow at the key party, are we?

[Pulg]

Not the plumpest dumpling in the stew, are we?

Not the mouldiest white dreadlock in the squat, are we?

Not the ectoest plasm at the seance, are we?

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Not the crispiest Milano in the ol' Pepperidge Farms bag, are we?

Not quite the fullest pip on the Starfleet captain's collar, huh?

Not the most powerful pellet in the PAC-MAN maze, are ya?!?