What's the weirdest thing you've turned someone into with baleful polymorph / polymorph any object?

[Yqatuba]

I like the idea of polymorphing someone into a rat turd or some other gross object, mainly for humiliation.

[BigNorseWolf]

Turtles.

Hard to be dangerous with a movement of five

[avr]

A little blue penguin. It's like a duckling that never grew up.

[Darigaaz the Igniter]

A hedgehog, so they couldn't ditch us on a dangerous mission.

[Evilserran]

I turned a Ice Devil into a tortoise last weekend

[Zepheri]

My arcanist like 3 months ago transform a cleric of asmodeus in a chiwawa

[BigNorseWolf]

the wizard had cast mirror image and fire shield on themselves and freedom of movement from a cleric budy.

They were turned into a turtle. So.. they were turned into 5 turtles.

And began the march into the pond that could not be stopped by our mightiest grapple checks.

Once there they heated the water to boiling and when the fire shield wore off, turned themselves into soup.

Delicious. Delicious soup.

[Agénor]

A big tortoise.

Slow to the point of immobility, useless and preventing the door he was in front of from being opened by his friends while we did what we had to do in this small cramped room.

@BigNorseWolf, I like your turtles story^^

[Darigaaz the Igniter]

I'm seeing a pattern of turtles being a favorite.

[blahpers]

Shrimp.

/c-c-c-combo breaker

[Jeff Morse]

BigNorseWolf wrote:

Turtles.

Hard to be dangerous with a movement of five

And easier to catch.

[Claxon]

How about the stately sloth?

[Kayerloth]

LOL, favorites indeed.

Turtles and not teenage mutant or accidental Giant Snappers either!

Had a 2E Assassin who turned her foes into Turtles. She had a several terrarium's in a room for them.

[Val'bryn2]

It all depends on what my mage has a taste for. It isn't cannabalism if you aren't humanoid anymore.

[Weka Kakapo]

Dodo birds! Everyone needs feathers!

[Dracovar]

I always liked turning a cow into a goldfish. Well, a herd of cows into goldfish.

Then taking them to a tavern and sponsoring a goldfish swallowing contest.

Dispel Magic and/or death of the polymorphed critter (usually via acid damage in the stomach) would, at least back in previous editions, cause the creature to revert back to original size.

Making for quite the Alien-esque "cowpocalypse" in the tavern.

[Merellin]

It wasent me but a guy in my group. He went and turned the boss, One of the generals to the big bad, And married to the big bads daughter, Into a Platypus. The Platypus no longer cared about leading armies for the big bad and spent the rest of his life just being a lazy platypus.

[Wirni]

Some thugs interrupted us while we were at dinner. I wasn't really prepared for a fight, so I turned one into a statue. Then animated the statue to pose it better, and put it near the door holding a sign that says 'This is what happens if you interupt dinner in this establishment.'

[blahpers]

Dracovar wrote:

I always liked turning a cow into a goldfish. Well, a herd of cows into goldfish.

Then taking them to a tavern and sponsoring a goldfish swallowing contest.

Dispel Magic and/or death of the polymorphed critter (usually via acid damage in the stomach) would, at least back in previous editions, cause the creature to revert back to original size.

Making for quite the Alien-esque "cowpocalypse" in the tavern.

Ah, I love variants on the ol' "throw a feather token (tree) in its mouth" strategy.

[Dracovar]

blahpers wrote:

Dracovar wrote:

I always liked turning a cow into a goldfish. Well, a herd of cows into goldfish.

Then taking them to a tavern and sponsoring a goldfish swallowing contest.

Dispel Magic and/or death of the polymorphed critter (usually via acid damage in the stomach) would, at least back in previous editions, cause the creature to revert back to original size.

Making for quite the Alien-esque "cowpocalypse" in the tavern.

Ah, I love variants on the ol' "throw a feather token (tree) in its mouth" strategy.

Used a feather token (tree) placed dead center of a railway track once, right before a bridge over a very high chasm and timed so the train couldn't slow down enough to save itself...

Then the item was banned... :-(

[Bahamut]

With Polymorph Any Object I had a Wizard in a game always threaten to "Turn the air, into Bears." He ended up turning the air in an enemies' lungs into bees. That wasn't craziest thing though. In one encounter he turned an enemy into butter. Then the party's token evil character took said butter and sold it to various food vendors in town and then gleefully waited until the spell's duration ran out.

[Bahamut]

Dracovar wrote:

blahpers wrote:

Dracovar wrote:

I always liked turning a cow into a goldfish. Well, a herd of cows into goldfish.

Then taking them to a tavern and sponsoring a goldfish swallowing contest.

Dispel Magic and/or death of the polymorphed critter (usually via acid damage in the stomach) would, at least back in previous editions, cause the creature to revert back to original size.

Making for quite the Alien-esque "cowpocalypse" in the tavern.

Ah, I love variants on the ol' "throw a feather token (tree) in its mouth" strategy.

Used a feather token (tree) placed dead center of a railway track once, right before a bridge over a very high chasm and timed so the train couldn't slow down enough to save itself...

Then the item was banned... :-(

I had a player once place a feather token in the hull of a Chellish warship during Skull and Shackles and then nonchalantly ask how much XP the ship was worth as it sank from the enormous hole in its bottom hull.

[cyandb]

My DM use to have a thing for the swallow whole ability. I once polymorphed some kind of aberration that ate another party member into a fish. The player Kool-Aid Manned out of it's stomach as it shrank and we haven't had to put up with that ability since.

[Lunatic Barghest]

Another tortoise answer here, but it's noteworthy not solely because of the animal, but the reasoning accompanying it.

It was a hobgoblin fanatic who had been following and spying on my party for a while. We finally captured her and interrogated her. A true fanatic, she did little but spew how much of a glorious honor it was to die in service to her terrible, evil deity and how eager she was to serve it in her afterlife.

Then she insulted a party member who died on an earlier adventure.

She now has 100+ years to regret that course of action, if she still has the capacity to regret. Gonna have to wait for the whole service-after-death thing, though.

[Kayerloth]

Not into a creature but used polymorph any object to turn a guard into a chair. Ran into the guard in a necromancy classroom while sneaking about and needed to get rid of the body so the turned the guard into another classroom chair.