Eleven Questions


Off-Topic Discussions


This sample chapter from Tribe of Mentors intrigued me, and so I figured I'd pose eleven questions of the lot of you. Feel free to answer any of them that look interesting to you, and please ignore any that don't. With any luck, we can all learn from each other.

Tim Ferris wrote:


1) What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

2) What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.

3) How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

4) If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?)

5) What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.)

6) What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

7) In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

8) What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?

9) What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

10) In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?

11) When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)


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Yeah, I'm not answering those.

Not unless I'm getting paid to.


These require thought. I'll have to get back to you.


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Here are the ones I either feel comfortable answering or think I can give a somewhat positive answer to.

4. "I try to help".
5. My 2002 Honda CR-V. I bought it in 2005 and I put over 230,000 miles on it before it died last April.
6. I love collecting RPG dice. I can't get enough of them. I have about 800 now and I want more. I want all the dice.
9. When I worked in radio more than one former DJ told me to get out of radio. Eventually, I did and it was a darned good feeling.
10. I have a couple of coping mechanisms. One is a nap. A nap as long as it will last, either 30 minutes or 3 hours. Just taking a nap helps. The other is to just turn off every distraction around me; music, put the dogs outside for a while, everything.


I have no idea why that used one of my aliases. But yeah. Those are my answers.


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:
I have no idea why that used one of my aliases. But yeah. Those are my answers.

Accidental click on the Post As field, most likely. I've done.

You can fix while the edit window is still open. Just Edit the post and submit it again with the proper alias.


Ah! Thanks!


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1) What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?
Tuf Voyaging, by George R. R. Martin, as it's one of our favorite books, and almost no one has ever heard of it.
The Lord of the Rings and Ender's Game impacted me the most.

2) What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.
Cloth diapers. When our kids were babies we had a diaper service and we used the massive number of spares as all-purpose cleaning cloths. At a chaperone event I saw one of the other chaperones using a big stack of diapers to clean up and I thought, "Wow! I need some of those!"
Having 40-50 cloth diapers in your house is a life-changer.

3) How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?
My inability to speak up for myself left me crying and snow-coneless at the Fourth of July fair one year. My father just laughed at me. Learning to self-advocate is a critical life skill.

4) If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?)
Think for yourself, and believe nothing you read or hear. Everyone is lying to you in one way or another in order to take advantage of you.

5) What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.)
Cloth diapers.
Or chaperoning the middle and high school trips these last few years.

6) What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?
Chefwear.

7) In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?
I stopped drinking.

8) What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?
Be at work on time every day and do your job. You'll be the best employee ever. Ignore all interview advice. I've been on hiring committees for 22 years now and I've never seen a broad recommendation that I'd apply to every situation.

9) What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?
Hiding what you're bad at during the job interview. If I ask you about a weakness, it's because I want to know whether I can support you in it. If you give me some pat answer or tell me you have no weaknesses, then after I hire you you have some glaring ones, I'm far more likely to just ship you out again instead of trying to help you.

10) In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?
GMing, and social events in general. You don't owe people your time.

11) When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)
Go for a walk. Introspection isn't particularly useful without action. Walking and thinking works wonders.


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1) What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

I can say with definite certainty that I haven't given the same book as a gift to multiple people.

As for influencing me, I'd guess Dragon's Egg by Robert L. Forward for introducing me to science fiction, the Xanth series by Piers Anthony for introducing me to fantasy, and The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath by H. P. Lovecraft for introducing me to surreal fantasy and cosmic horror.

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2) What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.

I bought a BlueTooth phone-to-car-radio connector back at the beginning of the year that has been quite pleasantly helpful. The brand, etc. info is all out in my car and it's currently raining. Bought at WalMart for about $30.

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3) How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

Moving to Arizona for college after high school and proceeding to fail/drop out of classes due to being unable to juggle school and work at the same time. Living there introduced me to my future sister-in-law and several friends and later roommates, all from my first D&D group. I probably wouldn't have gotten into the hobby that brought me to this very website without that original choice.

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4) If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?)

Nothing comes to mind. Probably would be something more snarky or amusing than helpful or inspiring. Or cryptic and confusing for the sake of being cryptic, to spark that "what does it MEAN?" sort of discussion/argument.

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5) What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.)

Probably, again, my D&D/Pathfinder hobby. Several years worth of entertainment and good times spent with friends gleaned as a result.

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6) What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

I have a fondness for the surreal and illogical, despite being a highly organized and logic-focused person myself.

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7) In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

Learning that asexuality was a thing, with a name and everything, that explained a lot about my own behaviors and perceptions that had either not made sense prior or caused me a great deal of frustration and trouble. Now if only the people who keep harassing me about when I'm going to have kids would learn that.

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8) What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?

You probably don't want advice from me. I'm so far out of the normal bell curve that unless your life pattern follows mine rather closely nothing I have to say or recommend in actual important contexts is going to be of any use or relevance to anyone.

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9) What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

"The customer/client is always right." No, the customer or client is usually a moron, but if we tell them that we usually lose their business because our clients are among the most stingy, twitchy, greedy, grasping people on the face of the planet, and have egos the size of Godzilla but the durability of soggy toilet paper.

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10) In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?

Nothing really. The things I've learned to beat I had down long before that, and the stuff I was struggling with five years ago I'm probably still struggling with. I'm well past the part of my life, I think, where I'm going to develop new coping mechanisms.

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11) When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)

Usually take a break or do something else for a while, clear my head. Then come back to the project when I'm in a better headspace for it.


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captain yesterday wrote:

Yeah, I'm not answering those.

Not unless I'm getting paid to.

I'll pay you in internet hugs? Except I'm not really into the hugging people scene, so maybe in internet handshakes?


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Orthos wrote:
"The customer/client is always right." No, the customer or client is usually a moron, but if we tell them that we usually lose their business because our clients are among the most stingy, twitchy, greedy, grasping people on the face of the planet, and have egos the size of Godzilla but the durability of soggy toilet paper.

My boss at the video store preferred, "The customer is always an idiot."

Dark Archive

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1) What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

I have never given a book as a gift, so that's the first version of this question out. :P

So, version 2. I'd say Even Stevens F.C., because at a time in my life where I was very reading-averse, it was the first book I enjoyed reading, and probably helped prevent me from winding up book-averse.

Then the Prince of Nothing series, by R. Scott Bakker. It was the second fantasy book series that I attempted to read, after utterly failing to get through the Lord of the Rings. It was recommended to me by a friend who wanted me to enjoy books as much as he did, and it really worked. He still reads a lot more than I do, but I try and keep up with his recommendations since then, and he hasn't let me down. And it started with the Prince of Nothing, so, I'd say it had a big influence.

I can't think of a third one, but technically the Prince of Nothing series is three books, so I've kind of cheated anyways. :P

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2) What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.

A portable mobile phone charger. Or battery pack, or whatever they're actually called. It's got no branding on it, but I bought it during the Maplin closing down sale for 50% off (wouldn't have been less than $100 otherwise :P). It's a 20,000 mAh Lithium Ion battery pack (most smartphones don't go higher than 4,000), and it's pocket sized. It's been a real handy investment, particularly for Pokémon Go. :)

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3) How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

Due to some poor decision making, I wound up with a son. He's the most magnificent bastard in the world, and I'm so proud to be his Dad. So, that, I guess? :P

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4) If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?)

Quite being dicks to each other, ya jerks. - Because more people need to hear this.

That or, Don't let others lack of gratitude take from your generosity. A good deed done is its own reward. - An ex taught me this lesson, and I've tried to make doing the right thing its own end since then. I think I needed to hear it, that good deeds aren't done for a reward, but for their own sake.

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5) What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.)

I attended a meeting of a college society my first week of college, and wound up on the committee running it during that first meeting. I worked my butt off for it, and in return made the friends that mean the world to me today. So, I'd say the investment of time and effort paid off dividends.

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6) What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

It's a good thing others posted first, because my mind went straight to the gutter on this one. :P I suppose the politeness dance. You know when two people are walking down a path, and they're both walking on the same side, and then they both go to move out of each other's way, and wind up moving into each other's way? And then they take a few moments moving back and forth trying to be the polite one and get out of the other person's way, only for them to keep moving into each other's way? I love that. It makes me feel like people are good.

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7) In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

Making my bed every morning before heading out for work. It's such a small thing, but I've found it makes a surprising difference to my mental health.

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8) What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?

Maintain a healthy work life balance. People will tell you you have to work overtime or that it's normal. Total BS. You need time for you and for living, and don't let anyone tell you that that's not important.

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9) What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

Tax evasion isn't that big of a deal, and everyone does it to a certain extent. Just fudge the numbers a bit. Yes it is, no they don't, and don't you dare! >:(

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10) In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?

I haven't. In some ways, I feel like I've gotten worse. So, no realisations or approaches to share here. :P

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11) When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)

Depends on the circumstance, but either listening to some music, or playing a round of some game or another. Both can provide me with something temporary to focus on, which leaves me re-focused when it's over.


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1. Book I've given away the most.

The Starfinder Core Rulebook. Between getting three defective copies and the PDF being super cheap I bet I've given out at least ten of them.

1.A what books have influenced my life most.

The Basketball Diaries taught me drugs were bad, m'kay.

Fear And Loathing In Los Vegas taught me not all drugs were bad, m'kay.

Fear And Loathing On The Campaign Trail '72 taught me ALL politics were bad, m'kay. And definitely shouldn't be mixed with drugs.


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2. Purchase of $100 or less that has positively impacted blah blah blah.

The lingerie I bought my wife for Christmas (or Valentine's Day).

Now, now, it's not sexist, she enjoys it just as much as I do, It turns out I have an eye for this sort of thing.

And it might have cost a bit more than $100 but it's a lot more fun than a phone charger. :-D

3. Epic fails.

When Toys R Us closed I had all sorts of people stopping in to see if I needed a job and thus was able to pick the job that worked best for me and the family (and employed three of the people I respect most in my profession).


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NobodysHome wrote:

1) What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

Tuf Voyaging, by George R. R. Martin, as it's one of our favorite books, and almost no one has ever heard of it.

That was such a fun book. I would have loved a sequel.


4. If I had a billboard.

Oh gosh, so many slogans I could come up with! One of my favorites is "Turtle wins the race!" but then, I'm also a favorite of "Seize your moment!" or "Life is 90% confidence and 10% knowledge, it doesn't matter if you can do something as long as you believe you can!".

I really should start a sports drink company.


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5. Most worthwhile investment of time, energy, and/or money.

Completing Fallout New Vegas! Best ten dollars I ever spent! First video game I completed in 20 years!

Oh right, my marriage and children! they've turned out pretty great so far.

6. Weird or absurd habits?

Um, you're looking at it! If you have something more weird and absurd then having 490 aliases I'd like to hear it!


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7. New behavior or routine that's improved my life.

Letting things go.

8. Advice for young people entering the work force.

"Watch your back!"

You may be young but you're not stealing my job, you little f$+@ers!.

Advice young people entering the work force should ignore.

"Watch your back!"

I'm kidding, we're cool, here, let me check the break lines on your car for you...


I can't really answer 9 because I work in a profession that in my area is largely filled with the young or uneducated so you wouldn't believe the stupid s&@! people say or have said.


10. What have I gotten better at saying no to.

My extended family. I no longer worry about the family reunions I find out about with a week to spare (if I'm lucky) because I'm not wired into Facebook, I say "thank you, but I already had plans".

11. How to combat the doldrums or when s%~# gets crazy.

I step back and take a moment to think through the situation.


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Tim Ferris wrote:


1) What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

Interestingly enough, I came into two first edition copies of game of thrones. And gave them away. Amazing read. F&~& the TV show. The manga is always, always better.

Book 1- Blade of the Poisoner. My first fantasy novel.

Book 2- Green Lantern Mosaic #1 and 5- The most important comics I have ever read. Ever.

Book 3- Werewolf The Apocalypse 2nd edition- The first roleplaying book I ever owned(didnt borrow from a friend or get a photocopy of), bought for me by my father, who has recently passed.

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2) What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.

The tile tracking system I have subtly installed on my new bike. I will know where it is if it is ever stolen, and I can track where I have been.

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3) How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

Not becoming a physical chemist. Went into psychology instead and never looked back.

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4) If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?)

Alea iacta est. Sang et gloria.

or

人不能有太多好友

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5) What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.)

Learning martial arts. Miss it every day.

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6) What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

People find my love, study, and encouragement of erotic practices to be strange.

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7) In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

Starting riding my bike again. Even as the bike that easy refurbished was stole from outside my job and a friend helped me to get another one to replace it.

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8) What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?

Everything you know is wrong, either in theory, practice, or both, with a few exceptions. Study independently from two sources you like and one you do not. Learning never ends, ignore those who would attempt to make money remedying your ignorance.

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9) What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

That someone can quite literally do anything, and it is only stigma that holds someone back. Expectation management is incredibly important, as is learning to define and redefine success.

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10) In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?

Trying to get others to see my point of view. An inability to get my point across does not make me less of a person or my point less valid.

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11) When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)

Take a break, sometimes to attack a problem from a different perspective. Especially if in an area where taking a break/walking away/coming up with another way of doing things is frowned upon. Forcing someone to work without rest is a recipe for disaster.


I've been really negative of late. Going to try and fix that.


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Asmodeus' Advocate wrote:

This sample chapter from Tribe of Mentors intrigued me, and so I figured I'd pose eleven questions of the lot of you. Feel free to answer any of them that look interesting to you, and please ignore any that don't. With any luck, we can all learn from each other.

Tim Ferris wrote:


1) What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

When I was in my 20's, it was usually a second-hand copy of Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet". I used it in place of greeting cards. Much too often. Then I got over it.

Over the past ten years, the book that I've given the most as a gift has been Christopher Moore's "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal". So. Darned. Funny.

2) What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.

In the last six months?

a) The $35 mp3 player we bought Teensy Valeros for his birthday this week. We loaded the entirety of Weird Al onto it, plus a whole bunch of Austin Lounge Lizards (socio-political bluegrass, also very funny) and he thinks it's the best present anyone could have ever given him.

b) $29 for the registration fee for my first 5k run in almost 30 years, next month, as motivation to stick to my training plan and work towards a fitness goal.

3) How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

Giving up on California and throwing in the towel on our life there. We were miserable and it was never going to get any better, and it was SO DAMNED HARD TO LEAVE. We're still broke, but I'm in the best job I've had in over 13 years, absolutely loving it. Parts of it are still REALLY rough. But it's looking up for the first time in longer than I can remember.

4) If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?)

Hey, you. Yes, you, dumbass. That thing you're worrying about that's making you question your place in the universe? Making you feel like crap? F**k it. It's not more important than your peace of mind. Rise above that s**t. And, here, have a cookie. (And there would be a fresh, warm cookie dispenser.)

5) What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.)

My Montessori teacher training program. Hardest year of my life; it was a full-time, year-long masters equivalent program that I did commuting 1.5 hours each way, while still working a 20+ hour/week job. I wanted to give up and die at least twice a week. I didn't sleep much and I went a little crazy.

6) What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

I love it when my kids set me impossible challenges "Mommy, can you make..." and then trying to live up to it. Like knitting Hermione's Star Trek TOS dress and making her M'Ress costume last year.

7) In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

Last month, starting running 4x/week and starting writing again. Just doing it, without excuses, without second-guessing or over-thinking it, no matter what.

8) What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?

Do the hard stuff first. Do your own taxes. Keep your checkbook balanced. Don't let others pressure you into going out or spending money you don't want to spend. Don't accept a credit card unless your life and soul depend on it. Don't go to bed at night with the kitchen still dirty. And all those elderly relatives who love you but aren't on social media? Call or write them a few times a year, just to let them know they matter.

9) What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

a) Anything that encourages Sneetches-like elitism between the different factions of Montessori;
b) Anything that encourages teachers to think of parents as bad/lazy/stupid/the enemy.

10) In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?

Nothing. I am HORRIBLE at saying no.

11) When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)

I take 20 minutes to make something (like make a batch of bread dough and really knead it properly), or knit a few rows of whatever project is currently in my knitting basket, or take the pruning shears or weeding gloves out to the yard and really attack the overgrowth.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

1) What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why?

While I give books as gifts on the regular, I seldom give the same book twice. I don't believe in panaceas, and try to tailor my book gifts to what the recipient seems like to enjoy or need.

Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

Dune by Frank Herbert
The Art of War by Sun Tzu/Sunzi/however you wanna Romanize it these days
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

2) What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.

I tend to nickel and dime myself to death... so I'll say the Krombacher Pils, salami and mushroom pizza, and bottle of water at some little eatery in Wiesbaden back in November. But really, any number of small but delicious meals I picked up during my six-week European jaunt.

3) How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

I got nothing. My failures have typically led to more failure. I can't think of one that made things turn out better in the long run.

4) If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph.

"If you see something that gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling of validation of your worldview, question it immediately."

5) What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made?

Plunking down the dough to make it to Verdun for the centennial of the end of the First World War.

6) What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

I talk to ravens- not expecting them to understand my English, exactly, just talking to them.

7) In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

I have not noticeably improved in the last five years. I guess I'll say that kayaking more often has been good for me, but that was purely a function of being able to afford my own kayak.

8) What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?

My advice: Have a backup plan for when life kicks you in the grill. Because it will.

Advice to ignore: Literally anything a paid employee of the college tells you about your future.

9) What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

In emergency management, there's a really sad tendency to fall into the NIMS stovepipe and assume that the essentially paramilitary command structure utilized in NIMS is genuinely the best approach for any and all emergency situations- despite the fact that its hierarchical approach flies in the face of the idea of mutual cooperation and preparing areas of responsibility ahead of time.

10) In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?

Again, I have not become a noticeably better person in the last five years- and I've been working more on saying yes to invitations than turning them down.

11) When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do?

Depends. I usually find something else- doesn't really matter what- that I can easily crush (like, a simple crossword puzzle, the first level of a video game, whatever) and utterly demolish it to sort of clear my anxieities


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Quote wrote:
What are one to three books that have influenced your life?

Hmm... When I was a toddler I grew up hearing English, Spanish, and Danish simultaneously. It was very confusing and unlike my sister I couldn't handle of it, so when I was around five I focused on just English. The following books are the ones I remember reading enthusiastically and helped me with my English.

- Harry Potter (Earliest novels I can remember reading. It's been so long but I recall enjoying it)

- Skullduggery Pleasant (A series my sister got me hooked on. It's fantasy but less childish than most YA novels. It's also written with remarkable wit and originality. These are the first long books I can remember reading)

- Phantom of the Opera. (I read this a couple times. Way back in Elementary school I tried it because I liked the Musical and couldn't understand anything. I've reread it a couple times and it's been a good benchmark for how much I've learned and improved. This got me interested in old books, like stuff by Victor Hugo, but I segued this into great sci fi ones like H.G. Wells, Aldous Huxley, and Isaac Aasimov)

Quote wrote:
What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.

I had a smoothie yesterday with a friend on campus. I had a rough week, and spending positive time with another person, and relaxing without worry for just 20 minutes really made a difference.

Quote wrote:
How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

My high school GPA honor roll got ruined by a low score in a ceramics class I had. I decided to accept stuff like that, and not let it bother me too much.

Quote wrote:
If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph.

If there's something you really want to do, it's usually as simple as doing it. It can still be ridiculously hard, but you need to self-start. Motivation from others doesn't really help if you don't act on it.

Quote wrote:
What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made?

A literal razor blade. Infinitely more comfortable and effective than the electric one I was using before.

Quote wrote:
What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

I really like pickles with chile powder.

Quote wrote:
In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

I don't most most, but I picked up guitar again and I'm loving it. It's a part of my brain I haven't used in a while and it's very satisfying.

[I'm going to skip 8 and 9 because I'm the type of naive college student that should take this advice rather than give it.]

Quote wrote:
In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?

I'm gonna cheat and say I got better at saying yes to things. I've been always been anxious and nervous about pretty much everything, but now I'm getting better with being more social, asking for help, and being kinder. I suppose it's a 'Practice makes Perfect' kind of deal.

Quote wrote:
When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do?

I walk and think. I try to keep doing this until my heart rates goes down and I'm calm. Then I make myself at peace, and try to solve my problem accepting what happens with the understanding I'll try my best.


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Asmodeus' Advocate wrote:

This sample chapter from Tribe of Mentors intrigued me, and so I figured I'd pose eleven questions of the lot of you. Feel free to answer any of them that look interesting to you, and please ignore any that don't. With any luck, we can all learn from each other.

Tim Ferris wrote:


1) What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

2) What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.

3) How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

4) If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?)

5) What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.)

6) What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

7) In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

8) What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?

9) What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

10) In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?

11) When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)

1. I've filled my home to the brim with books and I'll give any one to friends that ask. Reading is a gift that keeps on giving. Books that most influenced my life? Probably any of the books by Alan Watts.

2. A small Super Nintendo preloaded with games, awesome!

3. Don't know, I like never succeed.

4. "Life is like butt stuff", with a big picture of Riley Reid taking it. Why? Because I like causing car accidents.

5. Loving my friends and family.

6. Taking it in the butt, obviously.

7. Making a concentrated effort to empathize with others, especially if they are being unpleasant as there is often a reason, compassion heals.

8. I dunno, never made it to college.

9. "play Diablo 3 on hardcore mode, don't worry, internet lag won't kill you."

10. Just be as kind as you can, we are all in this world together and it can be rough.

11. Go to sleep, I'll feel a bit better when I wake up.


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I'm going to cheat and add one more piece of advice to college students: Don't go to a big-name school as an undergrad.

You're cattle feeding money into their research program; you will not get as good of an education as you would at a smaller, more education-focused school. And as I mentioned, having been on hiring committees for 22 years now, we've never cared about the name of the school someone attended, as long as it was accredited.

EDIT: True story: The worst interview we ever conducted (to the point that within 10 minutes we knew the guy was a no-go) was with an M.I.T. grad. He was utterly incapable of communicating clearly. It was amazing.


1) What are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

Marx & Engels - selected works
Schools and Masters of Fence, by Egerton Castle
Michael Moorcock's Elric stories

2) What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.

A proper solid sack truck.

3) How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

Can't answer that one.

4) If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?)

Don't Believe Everything You Read On Billboards

5) What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.)

Taking up HEMA.

6) What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

Very, very bad books, especially ultra low quality Conan ripoffs.

7) In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

Taking up HEMA.

8) What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”?

Learn to budget.

9) What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

'We'll just pilot it and see how it goes'

10) In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped?

Realising that I have a limited amount of time and don't need to cram stuff into every waking moment.

11) When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)

Get up, walk about and have a cup of tea.


What is HEMA?


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:
What is HEMA?

Historical

European

Martial

Arts.


Aaaaaah... That sounds great!


1) What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

I don't tend to give books as gifts. Books that have greatly influenced me? The Complete Works of Voltaire, The Art of War by Sun Tzu, The Tao of Jeet Kune Do by Bruce Lee, The Complete History of the Far Side by Gary Larson, Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson, and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

2) What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.

ingenuiTEA

3) How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

The failure of my first marriage.

4) If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?)

Don't Panic.

5) What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.)

Time spent with my wife, my girlfriend, my step-kid, my girlfriend's kids...

6) What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

Getting paid by my company to use the bathroom.

7) In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

The understanding that people's belief in a higher power, god, whatever isn't the biggest issue in the world - it's the organized religions that twist messages, ideas, and set agendas that cause more problems in the world than what most individuals would come up with on their own.

8) What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?

Show up on time. Learn the work environment before you start trying to change the environment. Some places have legit reasons for doing things the way they do.

As far as advice to ignore - pretty much anything I've ever read about interviewing and applying for that first job.

9) What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

"Always be available at all hours." This is ridiculous, and expected more often than not in IT. Yes, there are things that have to be done during maintenance windows and after regular hours. But get some sleep. Spend time with friends and family. Get out of the office, and get away from your home computer for a while. Work/life balance matters.

10) In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?

What am I better at saying no to? Easy. People as a general whole.

11) When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)

While at work? Stop, take a breath, slow down. Take a quick walk if the situation allows.

When I get home though and all the responsibilities have been dispatched? Change into a warm, soft, bathrobe. Get a glass of good scotch. Sit in my chair. Watch a good show.

Another good option...get in my car, pick a direction, and drive. Find a good winding road and turn on some music.

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