Insult Guide For Ailabiens 21:2


Dead Suns


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So thankfully as i'm not the best as when it comes to being a complete and total ass I figured I might struggle when portraying Ailabiens 21:2 from book 2 on the fly.

So I made myself a little reference sheet for the encounter that I gleaned from gathering insults on the internet and thought I'd share in case its helpful to others.

Upon entering :

“Ohhh..Come in, it’s not like like I’ll be permitted to get even a scrap of work done today so by small means enter, and waste my time with your undoubtedly petty concerns and questions.”

When they enter:

“Oh don’t you lot look like a sorry bunch, bet your going to make my day even more intolerable, go on then open your mouths and get it over with it, Statistically speaking if you keep talking you might eventually say something intelligent.”

Comebacks if called rude:

Well I could say nice things about you, but I’d rather tell the truth
No, no, I’m not insulting you I’m describing you.
It’s not that I’m not being condescending, it’s just I’m too busy thinking about far more important things that you wouldn’t understand.
Oh no, I’m not being rude, you’re just insignificant.
Believe me, I wouldn’t dream of insulting you, as the I’d only have to explain it afterwards, and I don’t have all day.

If told they are are starfinders:

Ah yes, starfinders, tell me, is your job devoted to spreading ignorance or is that just a side effect.

Asked to explain

I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain it to you.
Aww, it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.

General Insults

Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology
Tell me do you still love nature, despite what it did to you
If opposites attract, then I hope you meet someone who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured
You know you strike me as just the the kind of creature that one could use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people.
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.
I don’t know what makes you so dumb but its really working
I’m often told brains aren’t everything and it seems in your case they’re most likely nothing.
You possess a rare confidence in your abilities, albeit entirely unfounded.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.


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That is very awesome, i'll definetly take some ideas of yours when running that encounter, if you don't mind of course! :)

For the meme i'd add: '' To be fair you need to have an incredibly high IQ to grasp the meaning of ... ''

It could also be really cool to think of some nerdy/tsunderee compliment that Ailabiens 21:2 could use if some PCs impress him with displays of high intellect.

Things like:

''Oh you're not a complete waste of time after all.''

''You're tolerable for a x (Insert PC race)''

''You're a statistical anomally among your kind, it is a welcome surprise.''

That might come out as a little racist, but considering why that NPC is in trouble i think it would add to his character.


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Starfinder Superscriber

For insults:

"Did you just come out of the Gap, or are you just incapable of remembering what I just said?"

"It seems someone only recently arrived on a heavy cargo freighter."

For backhanded compliments:

"It appears that one of you attended a reputable university and paid attention in class. I'm shocked you were capable of it, but joyous that it worked."

"I am glad that your professors were not total failures."


Perfect. I'm prepping for this session and all I could think for him to say was "I am a Giant Brain!"

I'd offer up: "It seems like the main connection between your problems and my problems is - you."


I didn't go so much that route when I portrayed him - I went more of the route of the Internet poster who has a kooky theory that is horribly racist, but sincerely believes it and that they have an obligation to "spread the truth" no matter how inappropriate it is or how many people it hurts.

This was accompanied, by extension, with righteous indignation that he was being PUNISHED for something that was an actual truth that should have been practically self-evident. To my players, this made him even the more insufferable while not actually being insulting; in the end, they were happy to fleece him for every thing they could, because as earnest as he was, they couldn't stand his beliefs. :)

Radiant Oath

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
ENHenry wrote:

I didn't go so much that route when I portrayed him - I went more of the route of the Internet poster who has a kooky theory that is horribly racist, but sincerely believes it and that they have an obligation to "spread the truth" no matter how inappropriate it is or how many people it hurts.

This was accompanied, by extension, with righteous indignation that he was being PUNISHED for something that was an actual truth that should have been practically self-evident. To my players, this made him even the more insufferable while not actually being insulting; in the end, they were happy to fleece him for every thing they could, because as earnest as he was, they couldn't stand his beliefs. :)

Yeah, this is the vibe I got from reading about him too. Plus a dash of "YouTube Skeptic/Ayn Rand" arrogance that his perception of the situation is 100% rational and objective.

Algarik wrote:
For the meme i'd add: '' To be fair you need to have an incredibly high IQ to grasp the meaning of ... ''

Heck, some of the things Rick has said in the show sound like they could have come from Alabiens. The show makes it abundantly clear multiple times how arrogant and callous Rick is, ESPECIALLY with his inability to admit when he's wrong. Fans like the ones that meme is mocking didn't see Rick and say "he's cool, I want to be like that." They were ALREADY like that, and like Rick himself, they refuse to acknowledge when they're wrong about the show and the consequences of their own actions...


Archpaladin Zousha wrote:
Heck, some of the things Rick has said in the show sound like they could have come from Alabiens. The show makes it abundantly clear multiple times how arrogant and callous Rick is, ESPECIALLY with his inability to admit when he's wrong. Fans like the ones that meme is mocking didn't see Rick and say "he's cool, I want to be like that." They were ALREADY like that, and like Rick himself, they refuse to acknowledge when they're wrong about the show and the consequences of their own actions...

I haven't watched Rick and Morty, but i thought the meme would be appropriate for someone showing off his intellect and telling everyone how intelligent he is compared to the lesser mind.

As for the fan, i don't know. I may be wrong, but to me it just feel like a cringy way of trying to bully others on their intellect so they can feel like they are part of some intellectual elite.

Radiant Oath

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

That is it exactly, and it's definitely a vibe I get from Alaibiens as a character.

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