Best / most fun intelligent items you've ever made / seen?

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

As the title says. Just looking for some fun ideas.

[Joshua029]

The Bardic Magnum Opus: This is a large, leather-bound songbook, with panpipes set into the front cover. Placing one hand on a page or singing one stanza of one of the songs contained causes the pan-pipes to play the rest of the song, causing the related magical affects as if a Bard of the user's character-level were performing it.(Full-Round action)

If a Bard is in possession of the Bardic Magnum Opus, the Bard may cause the book to make one Bardic Performance, while the Bard holding the book makes another simultaneously, with the effects of both Bardic Performances applying.

Regarding the intelligence, The Bard who made it poured so much of his power into the book (along with help from a Sorcerer) that the book began to exhibit a personality that was a duplicate of his own. This usually only manifests when the wielder is asleep with the book in his/her possession, in which case their dreams are interrupted by the Bard, who may be talked to, though he seems more interested in learning about the person holding his book than in giving information.

If an Evil creature holds the book, it reverses the intended effects of songs coaxed out of it, buffing enemies, and harming the evil creature's allies, depending on the song.

(I put it as the prize at the end of a story arc for my first campaign, but the party didn't make it there.)

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

Bump

[Tyrant Lizard King]

I had a player who was a Bladebound Magus. His blade had a fun personality quirk that frequently made threats that it could not back up. Additionally, it never revealed to him that they could communicate telepathically and frequently caused him to look insane by arguing with his sword in public!

I once made a magic cloak that had the voice of that really feminine guy with the lisp from Family Guy. It was fun messing with the player wearing it, saying things like "Oh, you're stho sthtrong!" or "Don't worry friend, I'll keep you warm." :)

[Dosgamer]

I devised an intelligent, flying sword as an NPC for an old Forgotten Realms campaign. The sword communicated telepathically and eventually became a duke up in Vaasa. It had some additional personality quirks that made my players cringe a little whenever they recognized its distinct voice in their heads. "Hulloooo, fleshlings! I see you are looking older and more worse for wear today. I, however, am as pristine as the day I was forged!"

[blood_kite]

I picked up an intelligent Rod of Splendor, since no one else in the party wanted it. It seemed to think that it was quite the smooth operator and was always ready to give advice on wooing the ladies.

I became much less interested in keeping it after I lost an ego contest with it and it decided to activate the apparel function of the rod.

This consisted of a royal purple outfit with bell bottom pants, fur-trimmed coat, wide brimmed hat with a peacock feather, and platform shoes with gold fish in them.

Dressing up like a pimp didn't really help me with the ladies.

[Deoloth]

The Helm of Confidence. Which would compel someone handling it to put it on, but... besides huge reluctance of the character was not forced on like a normal cursed item.

Wearer's would believe that they were capable of doing anything that came up as long as they had it on, and would attempt all challenges. Once, before the party knew what it was, a character made a joke about taking on a cave full of gnolls and other beastkin barehanded.

The equipped player threw his weapon and shield down, and ran into the cave without a word. He survived thanks to a ton of focused healing by the cleric and oracle. The party held him down later and forced off the helmet... Which the Oracle promptly put on. Cue a few days of travel and they get outside of a city. A few ill-spoken comments by a party member almost had the mage attempt to fistfight a few rude soldiers leaving a town on patrol.

This leads to a great moment where 4 members of the party keep trying to remove the helm, failing their will save (DC 16 guys!) and putting it on, while the dwarven cleric stood off to the side trying to not giggle (the player then loaded up some benny hill on his phone as this was going on). Eventually, the alchemist made his will save and tossed it as hard as he could off the cliff overlooking the shore... All while two guards watched from the gate confused.

[Dastis]

Helm of Paranoid Insight. +6 int and gave immunity to mind affecting effects along with all mind reading effects. It was also gifted with the ability to automatically discern any conspiracy or plot in the area with 10% accuracy.....

[haremlord]

Twoflower, my intelligent folding boat.

It had:
Another form (a stagecoach)
3/day: Major Image
1/day: Unseen Crew, Phantom Steed, Snapdragon Fireworks
powers of a Rod of Splendor

It was the ultimate party boat!

Personality-wise, it was "manic pixie dream girl" (patterned to look like Lwaxana Troy the first time she used her Major Image to create a form, then Zooey Deschanel in a lady bug dress with wings)