A modest rules question

[Plausible Pseudonym]

Situation: An invisible Succubus in a grapple successfully makes her concentration DC to cast Windy Escape to escape the grapple, while 20' away a Paladin wearing full plate dragon armor, and not directly engaged in combat, is trying to take 10 to UMD a wand of Infernal Healing on a construct without natural fast healing. He's being supported by a Bard simultaneously using a masterpiece and a bardic performance while a commoner, also not in combat, tries to sell him some milk cows while engaging in the total defense action. It is dark (partial concealment) and he's nervous, so the commoner is also trying to stealth.

Questions:

1. Can anyone see the manifestations of the Succubus' spellcasting?
2. Does she escape the grapple?
3. Can the Paladin take 10?
4. What's the minimum size dragon the Paladin's armor must have come from? Is that really fair?!
5. Does the construct get healed?
6. Can the Bard do both simultaneously?
7. Can the Commoner stealth in the darkness?
8. Can he use total defense, and what penalty does that and his negotiating impose on his stealth check?
9. How many milk cows can you get if you traded them for the Infernal Healing wand (25 charges, crafted with "dose of unholy water" component rather than the devil's blood)?
10. List every reason (minimum 5) the Paladin falls.

Please FAQ this post so we can get answers to all of these in one efficient bundle. Thanks.

[Jayder22]

Plausible Pseudonym wrote:

a Paladin wearing full plate dragon armor, and not directly engaged in combat, is trying to take 10 to UMD a wand of Infernal Healing

3. Can the Paladin take 10?

I know this is a joke post, but still...

UMD wrote:

You cannot take 10 with this skill.

[Plausible Pseudonym]

Trying to break that rule is the first reason the Paladin falls.

[Tyinyk]

Let's not forget that he falls just because he had the audacity to play a paladin.

[Create Mr. Pitt]

Plausible Pseudonym wrote:

6. Can the Bard do both simultaneously?

This is already in the FAQ. "Bards do everything simultaneously."

[Cevah]

Plausible Pseudonym wrote:

Situation: An invisible Succubus in a grapple successfully makes her concentration DC to cast Windy Escape to escape the grapple, while 20' away a Paladin wearing full plate dragon armor, and not directly engaged in combat, is trying to take 10 to UMD a wand of Infernal Healing on a construct without natural fast healing. He's being supported by a Bard simultaneously using a masterpiece and a bardic performance while a commoner, also not in combat, tries to sell him some milk cows while engaging in the total defense action. It is dark (partial concealment) and he's nervous, so the commoner is also trying to stealth.

Questions:

1. Can anyone see the manifestations of the Succubus' spellcasting? Yes
2. Does she escape the grapple? No, but why would she want to?
3. Can the Paladin take 10? No
4. What's the minimum size dragon the Paladin's armor must have come from? Is that really fair?! First tell me what size paladin.
5. Does the construct get healed? Yes
6. Can the Bard do both simultaneously? Yes, with the right skills/traits/feats
7. Can the Commoner stealth in the darkness? Yes
8. Can he use total defense, and what penalty does that and his negotiating impose on his stealth check? Yes, at no mod to the DC
9. How many milk cows can you get if you traded them for the Infernal Healing wand (25 charges, crafted with "dose of unholy water" component rather than the devil's blood)? Wand is same price, either way it is crafted. Cow is 10 gp, and a half charge wand is 325 gp, so 32 cows, and one calf.
10. List every reason (minimum 5) the Paladin falls. He tripped over the commoner 'cause he failed his perception check. He fell when the cow stepped on to his booted foot. Afterwards, he slipped in a pile of s*** left by the cow. After cleaning up, he stood up and bumped his head on the construct. Waking up later, he falls because the succubus drained him so much.

Please FAQ this post so we can get answers to all of these in one efficient bundle. Thanks.

How's that?

/cevah

[Nicos]

Where was the bear shaped druidess again?

[Java Man]

Nicos wrote:

Where was the bear shaped druidess again?

Grappling with the succubus, clearly.

[Cevah]

She's the one making out grappling with the succubus.

/cevah

EDIT: Ninja's by 12 seconds.

[TOZ]

what have you done

[Cevah]

TOZ wrote:

what have you done

Wasn't me. I was ninja'd.

/cevah

[Nicos]

Java Man wrote:

Nicos wrote:

Where was the bear shaped druidess again?

Grappling with the succubus, clearly.

No, no. I mean, was she on top or what?

[Bandw2]

what is modest about anything that involves a succubus?

[Bwang]

Don't ask me, I'm still lost back with the juggler and the butter churn!