Conversational phrases

[Randarak]

"Everybody is running with their choke out"

"Its like a monkey F@&#ing a football"

[Simon Legrande]

"Another #%/^ing goat rodeo"

"It's like trying to herd cats"

[Aberzombie]

Not a phrase, but a word....

....clicktivists.

[Pillbug Toenibbler]

"(This) sucks wet farts out of dead pigeons."

[Archpaladin Zousha]

Just heard this from my brother:

"To those new in the audience, I'm not just strangling an octopus."

[Aberzombie]

"....like a unicorn that craps iPhones..."

[Archpaladin Zousha]

"This sucks, I'm gonna go smoke a beer!"

[Krensky]

Since there's a marked ignorance of the classics...

"Yo mamma!"

[Crazy Harry III]

Krensky wrote:

Since there's a marked ignorance of the classics...

"Yo mamma!"

Who you calling ignorant of the classics, Willis?

[Krensky]

Crazy Harry III wrote:

Krensky wrote:

Since there's a marked ignorance of the classics...

"Yo mamma!"

Who you calling ignorant of the classics, Willis?

Yo mamma.

Haven't you been paying attention?

[Aberzombie]

"He (or she) stores nuts in a hollow tree..."

"...bring tears to a glass eye."

"It looks like an octopus having sex with a plate of spaghetti."

[Aberzombie]

Whilst reading a story about the latest Taylor Swift video, I came across this gem of an acronym:

SOPOs - Society of the Perpetually Offended.

[Aberzombie]

Been awhile, but this is glorious....

".....if you’re referencing a distant planet inhabited by an advanced race of super-intelligent grizzlies who figured out millennia ago how to genetically design salmon that crap butter-scotch-flavored ice cream."

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

"Jesus Christ on a bicycle!"

"That takes SKILL!" *spoken in response to someone doing something extraordinarily stupid/clumsy/inept*

"Praise Allah!" *circumstance need not be religious, speaker need not be Muslim*

"Can you say that into the microphone, please?" *spoken in response to somebody finally saying/admitting to something they almost never say/admit to, much as you want them to*

"Person X doesn't know Person Y from Adam."

"It's okay, I'm a doctor." *meant for use by people with Ph.D.s that are not M.D.s to say they know what they're doing - even if what they're doing has nothing to do with the field of their degree*

"FOR GREAT JUSTICE!"

"*disguised as a coughing noise* B!%#&*$$! B@@++#*#! B#$!+#~%!"

"He doesn't know his ass from page 8!" *reportedly a favorite phrase of President Gerald Ford when upset with someone*

[Aberzombie]

"Like a baby sea otter on MDMA...."

[Crusinos]

"It's like he's redlining Red Bull and crystal meth."

"About the only way that could be more offensive is if it were Bill Cosby slapping a feminist."

"Some days you're the bird, some days you're the anti-air flak cannon."

[Aberzombie]

"...trying to elude a monkey that escaped from a cocaine study."

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

"Ph.D. camera" *a sort of camera so complex it takes a Ph.D. to operate it - and 'Ph.D.', of course, stands for "Push here, dummy!"*

"pure, weapons-grade Baloneyium"

"Suck it up your ass!" *something an annoying old friend of mine was known to say to people who were giving him a hard time - he was very much the sort of person who would and could synthesize a neologism from the slag of various old standbys without realizing that was what he was doing*

[MageHunter]

Ain't no party without a porta potty.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

"fondon't" *anything one ought to avoid when having fondue*

[Aberzombie]

It’s been five(ish) long years, and I could probably fill an entire page with new phrases. One, however, that I’ve seen used more and more in recent days….

“It’s been a minute.” Seems to often be referring to an amount of time (typically much longer than a minute) since you’ve last seen someone or done something.

For me, that applies on many levels.

[quibblemuch]

I have an Australian Shepherd. Whenever anyone says they're thinking of getting one because: "Your dog is so beautiful" I say:

"So's a coked-up supermodel with a switchblade and a Ph.D. You don't invite her to live on your couch."

[Theconiel]

"F*** me gently with a chainsaw!" (I don't know where that came from.)

A frutescent intellect

Caught between Scylla and Charybdis

Credam cum videam. (Latin: "I'll believe it when I see it." Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur.)

[Theconiel]

I don't know the source of this one either.

"Hurting you is the last thing I want to do. But it is on the list."

[quibblemuch]

"This is not what Josiah Bluetooth had in mind!"

Said whenever a Bluetooth device refuses to function properly.

[Mokmurian the Great]

"By Tolkien's bloated appendices!" - General expression of surprise, inspired when I threw out my back trying to reference my copy of the Lord of the Rings series for notes on the phonetic pronunciation of the Angerthas script while creating a dwarf merchant NPC (having just finished a five-hour-long research session into medieval economic theory).

Something tells me I put much more effort than I need to in the creation of my characters...

[Wish I'd Created Larry Groznic]

Don't come crying to me when you need someone who speaks Elvish.

[DungeonmasterCal]

"Welp, it swallered its own ass."

"I've got eefus of the blowhole."

"Spinnin' like the button on a sh*thouse door."

"Crazier'n a sh*thouse rat."

"You couldn't hit a bull in the a$$ with a bass fiddle."

"Runnin' faster'n a scalded monkey."

"Well, f**k a duck."

"F**k me runnin'."

"On him like a chicken on a June bug."

"Meaner'n a cross-eyed snake."

"Madder'n than a wet hen."

"Grinnin' like a 'possum eatin' sh*t."

"If you had what you want and I had a feather up my a$$ we'd both be tickled."

Can you tell I grew up in a very rural area of my state? LOL

[Cole Deschain]

"Incompetent sh*theel." (a dismissive description of another)

"Well, that sure narrows the hell out of your life." (in cases where someone had expressed something they won't do or try)

"My deterioration continues apace." (a response to "how are you doing?")

"I could complain, but who'd listen?" (ibid)

"Living the dream. One of these days I'll wake up, and then I'll be in trouble." (ibid)

"If you ever hit/shoot/stab me with that and I find out about it, I'm going to be very annoyed." (a not-at-all-veiled critique of the physical strength or material potency of a weapon or individual)

[Ed Reppert]

I had a friend who used to say "Any time you're feelin' froggish, you just commence to jumpin'". :-)

[DungeonmasterCal]

Ed Reppert wrote:

I had a friend who used to say "Any time you're feelin' froggish, you just commence to jumpin'". :-)

Our variant of that is "If you're feeling froggy". The "commence to jumpin'" part is new to me, but I love it.

[Aberzombie]

I heard a new (to me) phrase for chicken - “Yard Pimp”. I believe my coworker said he got in from an influencer. Whatever that is….

[David M Mallon]

I recently heard a guy use the phrase "a whole lot of sailboat fuel" to mean "nothing."

[Holy Orphaned Slaadling Trust]

Ed Reppert wrote:

I had a friend who used to say "Any time you're feelin' froggish, you just commence to jumpin'". :-)

If your response to "feeling froggish" is to commence jumpin'...

...you might be a slaadneck. </Foxworthy>

[DungeonmasterCal]

Holy Orphaned Slaadling Trust wrote:

Ed Reppert wrote:

I had a friend who used to say "Any time you're feelin' froggish, you just commence to jumpin'". :-)

If your response to "feeling froggish" is to commence jumpin'...

...you might be a slaadneck. </Foxworthy>

Bravo!