Deep Magic Rune: Ilraz, the Rune of Darkness

[TheDisgaean]

Of all the new additions Kobold Press' Deep Magic brings to the table, the Rune Magic system has to be one of my favorites. So I thought I'd try my hand at homebrewing a rune of my own.

Ilraz
Meaning: Darkness, night, the unknown; the gods Charun and Sarastra.

Mastery Bonus: +1 insight bonus to Stealth. This skill becomes a class skill.

Associated Spells: Spells that affect or utilize shadows and darkness.

Powers: Mastery of ilraz grants the following powers as you increase in level:

3rd Level: When invoked on an object, it radiates darkness as per the spell.

8th Level: When invoked on a slashing melee weapon, the rune master may attempt a sunder maneuver, using their Wisdom modifier in place of Strength, to cut off a creature's shadow, temporarily severing the connection between body and soul. If successful, the creature falls unconscious for 1d4 + half the rune master's Wisdom modifier (minimum 1) rounds. Once a creature has been made a target of this power, regardless of whether they were affected, that creature is immune to that rune master's power for 24 hours.

13th Level: When placed on yourself, you may summon a shadowy replica of yourself. The replica can only be summoned in areas of dim light or brighter and functions as if created by shadowself, except it has half your class levels or HD (minimum 1 class level or HD), half your HP, can not be disguised, and only remains for a number of minutes equal to half your class level or HD (minimum 1), is reduced to zero hit points, you fall unconscious, or until it's dismissed, whichever comes first. The replica will also dissipate if it moves 100 ft. beyond you or enters an area of complete darkness.

Constructive criticism is much appreciated.

[UsagiTaicho]

Unfortunately, I cannot yet purchase the book as I have no money. Which means I have nothing to compare it to. But this seems really cool.

[Utarga]

What's the sunder against? How much HP and hardness do a user's shadow have? I'd say that rather than wording the 8th level ability as a sunder check, that you word it as some sort of check against their caster level / hit dice/ something else.

[TheDisgaean]

The latest version of the Rune of Darkness.

-Altered function of the level 8 ability.
-Fixed several grammatical errors and wording issues.

Ilraz (V2)
Meaning: Darkness, night, the unknown; the gods Charun and Sarastra.

Mastery Bonus: +1 insight bonus to Stealth. This skill becomes a class skill.

Associated Spells: Spells that affect or utilize shadows and darkness.

Powers: Mastery of ilraz grants the following powers as you increase in level:

3rd Level: When invoked on an object, it radiates darkness as per the spell.

8th Level: When invoked on a slashing melee weapon, the rune master may attempt to cut off a single creature's shadow as a standard action, severing the connection between body and soul and rendering them unconscious for 1d4 + the rune master's Wisdom modifier (minimum 1) rounds. A successful Will saving throw (DC 10 + rune master's HD) negates this effect. Regardless of success, once a creature has been made a target of this power, they are immune to that rune master's power for 24 hours.

13th Level: When placed on yourself, you may manifest your own shadow as a ghostly replica. The replica can only be summoned in areas of dim light or brighter and functions as if created by shadowself, except it has half your class levels or HD (minimum 1 class level or HD), half your HP, can not be disguised, and only remains for a number of minutes equal to half your HD (minimum 1), is reduced to zero hit points, you fall unconscious, or until it's dismissed, whichever comes first. The replica will also dissipate if it moves 100 ft. beyond you or enters an area of complete darkness.

Hope this clears things up a little bit, and as always, constructive criticism is appreciated.