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At the City at the center of the World, Absalom, there are a great many establishments for which to eat, but after following a crowd, you see a small crimson building with a smokestack at one end, while at the front an incredibly tall Taldan man holds out a strangely shaped pastry to the passerby. "Waffles for sale!" He shouts, waving the circular "Waffle". "Good grain, good flour! Pour anything on it, from jelly to-for the adventuring types-a healing potion!" He smiles, then continues peddling his wares.
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Waffles? I like waffles. Waffles are one of my favorite foods. Not really sure why. Kind of like falafel. Falafel is phenomenally fun for me. Same with farfalle. What? Me? Oh! I'm Fast Fingers Frederick the Filch...er...my friends call me Fast Freddy. Pay? Sure. I can pay. Lemme see if I can find some funds for you, friend. Say, why is your building such a florid color?
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Five, sir. Always five. I find that four is too few, but five always fits just fine. Thank you. And seeing as it can be so florid, perhaps it could use a feathering of sapphire for effect? Even if you don't, you'll see me again. Fairly routinely, I think. Perhaps five every day would be a bit much, but every fifth day? Yep. I think I shall stop by here every fifth day for five waffles. Fair fortune, friend!
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The hellknight doffs her helmet, revealing the heavily scarred, light blue face of an otherwise pretty young tiefling.
"Making sure everything is in order here. We can't have this fine bastion of civilization descending into..." she eyes Bob and Ogre for a moment Savagery. But I really didn't have any reason to believe anyyhing was amiss either until that little evasion with the "alchemist's shop" bit. So now, good proprietor, you have my...cusiosity."
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"That's one cute Hellknight," Ogre interjects. "I can see what lured you to Cheliax.."
Bob, "Sorry Ma'am, poor Ogre is simple in his dedication to the eradication of demons...and from what I suspect, he may consider waffles demonic."
"You joined the forces of Hell, and you call me simple."
"*cough*"
"Ok OK you make nice with the Hellknight, I'll make nice with the waffles."
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Ivan, I see that you now have a competitor in the waffle business. Perhaps you are thinking to yourself, "How can I maintain my competitive edge? How can I differentiate my quality waffles from the cheap imitations that now flood the market? How can I build my humble waffle business into a waffle empire?"
Well, I am just the woman who can help you in your current predicament. With my trade contacts, you'll soon be selling waffles all across the Inner Sea Region. Perhaps you might even give your waffle shop a suitable ambitious title - International House of Waffles! I think you'll find my consulting fees very reasonable, and my ability to transport waffles across, through, around or under national borders is second to none.
I'd advise against pushing the waffle trade into Taldor, though. They eat pancakes because their esteemed ancestors, hundreds of years ago, ate pancakes and there's no reasoning with that kind of people.
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But of course, sir. (She produces a card with a flourish, although it is not entirely clear which pocket or sleeve it came from.)
I do hope this proves a more profitable than the last person with whom I shared a business card. She tried to kill me with hellfire. Rather a poor lapse in judgement on my part . . .
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<posting as Plinth Goldeneyes, gnome paladin of Iomedea and member of the Silver Crusade>
<a short, armored figure walks in, sniffs the air and removes his helmet, revealing a head of hair in various bright hues and eyes of dark blue and pale violet. The symbol of Iomedea is emblazoned on his armor.>
What is that scent? It is sweet, hints of vanilla and ... something I cannot quite put my finger on ...
Good sir, I will try one of these wiffles you are hawking.
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Valeria takes some stock of the delivery from the Osiriani. "Well, Ivan, does this settle things? I think I would like to try a waffle. With..with chocolate. That is, unless you do in fact have Kantarian doughnuts. Umm..and I shall take care of this good warrior's order as well." She motions to the gnomish paladin and offers him a casual salute, subtly pointing to the iron hairpin in her hair, a sword on a sunburst.
She regards the young Chelaxian grimly, "Me, madam? I was but part of a large force of pathfinders who repelled a massive demon incursion from the city. The hordes were led by demons and cultists possessed of legendary speed and cunning. I have never seen anything quite like it before, and it does not bode well that such creatures are clawing themselves out of the Worldwound. I'm sure that any assistance you could provide would help defend against the next attack. I'm certain there will be more coming."
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<posting as Plinth Goldeneyes, gnome paladin of Iomedea and member of the Silver Crusade>
Ah, why thank you, m'lady. A pleasure!
<turns to the transmuter>
Hm? What? Oh no no, I am preparing to go to aid the Society with any issues in that area soon ... just grabbing a bite before setting out.
<glances down at his plate ... his eyes go wide when he sees the pit covered surface of the waffle>
WHAT IS THIS!?!?! AN INFERNAL PANCAKE!!!! What devilish influence has brought the embodiment of the Pits of Damnation to the breakfast plate?!?! THIS BREAKFAST CAKE MUST BE MADE PURE!!!!!
<grabs the syrup and empties the bottle on the waffle, followed by several vials of holy water>
Hmmm ... I still sense an infernal influence, masked in a sweet veneer ... perhaps destruction is the only way to save this pancake and those it would seek to corrupt ...
<pulls out a dagger, slices up the waffle and eats it quickly>
My work here is done. Shopkeeper, I would check your grill for infernal agents seeking to corrupt your pancake wiffles.
Thank you again for the meal, fellow follower of faith. Perhaps we shall meet again.
<grabs helmet, leaves a couple gp on the counter and walks out>
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(Ogre) Demons are easy pickings Valeria. They act all crazy and wild, but lock them in a Ogre neckbreaker special and whammo..they get all quiet and orderly like. The silence of the dead.
Torchy - Bob and I just watched that ... ending? We used to follow ole Torchy here there and everywhere... guess things change.
(Bob) Now we follow Zarta here there and...
(Ogre) Yeah out of ole Torchy's flame and into the Chelaxian fire.
(Bob) She did save your life, Ogre. You should learn to be more thankful. Besides we never did get to play the Egorian circuit before we joined up.
(Ogre) Yeah, thanks.
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The tiefling nods at the departing gnome and responds, "Perhaps this episode with the waffle will teach you about judging things harshly, simply because they appear to be tainted at first glance."
The gnome has a point though. A true follower of the Lord of Law should be firm in his or her convictions.
They should never waffle.