More "real life" magic shenanigans!


Off-Topic Discussions


I'm well aware magic isn't real, but as a thought experiment I like to talk as if it is.

You find yourself with whatever kind of magic you want in whatever way you think is "most likely." I don't care about that part.

So now you have magic. Woot! So generally speaking I'd want to keep a low profile, but I also want to use my newfound power to be fantastically wealthy. How would you do that while still maintaing your cover. A few ideas about money and other just entertaining.

Money ideas

1) Theft - Assuming no one here is a sociopath you'd theoretically want to steal from the rich. If for no other reason than because they have the best stuff. Invisibility + Teleport would cover most of your bases I think with perhaps a Knock or etherealness thrown in for good measure. I wouldn't bother with peoples houses or anything so pedestrian. I think the easiest thing to do would to be to steal directly from a bank somewhere far away from where you live. They're insured anyway. That or surreptitiously find someone willing and able to buy something ridiculous, like the crown jewels, and arrange that. Of course you wouldn't want to wear your own face when you made these arrangements or do so anywhere near where you lived.

2) Theft 1.5 - Instead of stealing something you simply convince someone to give you something using dominate or other magics. In this day and age, that's probably one of the smarter ways to go about it. It's not technically illegal, though it is immoral. Convince one or more of the 1% to give you large sums of money.

3) Arrange to "win the lottery" - Lottery could be literal or it could be something akin to it. You'd have to work out the specifics, but either use divination to find out the upcoming numbers or simply and invisibly arrange for your numbers to fall out of the ball thing they use. In the latter case it could be as easy as invisibly standing off to the side in the studio and using mage hand. Methods may vary, but I imagine there's a few ways to accomplish this.

4) Fabricate - Either using something that's not valuable and making it valuable, like taking an old beat up car and fabricating it into a new and functional car. Or if you have blood money, just make diamonds out of your blood. Creepy, but with access to restoration it shouldn't pose any major problems. You could make a reasonable living while still keeping a low profile. Personally I'd sell any goods I acquired this way in a far away pawn shop using a fake name and face.

5) Discover something - With your new power I'm sure you could figure out a way to enhance your modes of transportation and senses. You could take a beach vacation and use a combination of elemental body and divination to find some long lost treasure and just pretend you stumbled across it near land.

Non-monetary, but fun ideas:

A) Life bubble + interplanetary teleport - I think for safe measure I'd make sure I had a clone body ready back home, but still. Go where no man has gone before and bring back something if you want. I hear there are (highly toxic) planets where it rains diamonds. Good luck figuring out how to survive the hostile atmosphere, but its magic so maybe you can.

B) My house is totally going to have a secret pocket dimension. It'd be the ultimate escape/safe room ever.

C) A ring of invisibility (or a constant improved version if I have the time/money) is going to be a must. I'm going to want to fly around a lot and I'd rather not have to worry about people seeing me.

Other notes

#3 seems like the smartest thing to do initially. Just saying the others could have a downside.

On world domination - I think it's over rated. At most I might be inclined to occasionally secretly use enchantment to get politicians and the like to do the right thing. Preventing the Global annihilation of the human race is not the same as world domination. Just nudging the human race in a good direction. I think it would get really boring waiting out the millennia for life to reach sentience on earth again. I guess exploring the universe and looking for other intelligent life is always an option.

What do you all think?


Probably fabricate/major creation shenanigans, using blood money/restoration as necessary. Combine teleport to reach distant locales and alter self to conceal my identity.

Honestly, the first thing I'd do if I had clone magic would be conquer my fear of flying and heights. Fly around with magic (and invisibility); descend safely before the spell ends. Have the clone just in case something goes wrong anyway.


Using magic to become wealthy is trivial. There are divination spells you can use to locate gold or jewels and then all you have to do is dig them up. You don't even have to steal or cheat to get wealthy, you just have to do a bit of work until you can hire people to do the work for you.

Winning the lottery through divination is at least an option that isn't overtly stealing from others, but it still is diverting wealth instead of creating it. I would prefer to create wealth, and there are plenty of ways to do that.

My first approach would probably be to use magic to greatly accelerate the world's ability to build a deep space capability to mine asteroids and begin building true interplanetary fleets of spaceships. Then I'd start working on how to develop interstellar capabilities. Then I'd get fabulously wealthy while advancing human technology and reducing the chance that all known life would get wiped out by a random asteroid or something.


Adamantine Dragon wrote:

Using magic to become wealthy is trivial. There are divination spells you can use to locate gold or jewels and then all you have to do is dig them up. You don't even have to steal or cheat to get wealthy, you just have to do a bit of work until you can hire people to do the work for you.

Winning the lottery through divination is at least an option that isn't overtly stealing from others, but it still is diverting wealth instead of creating it. I would prefer to create wealth, and there are plenty of ways to do that.

My first approach would probably be to use magic to greatly accelerate the world's ability to build a deep space capability to mine asteroids and begin building true interplanetary fleets of spaceships. Then I'd start working on how to develop interstellar capabilities. Then I'd get fabulously wealthy while advancing human technology and reducing the chance that all known life would get wiped out by a random asteroid or something.

Interesting view, though I personally have no qualms about arranging to win the lottery. It doesn't hurt anybody and you now have a legitimate reason to have piles of cash. I don't think I'd do so more than once, mind you, but otherwise that would probably be one of my first steps.

I think I'd want at least 5 levels of reincarnated druid for the "auto reincarnate." Then you're effectively immortal, but you still grow old and die regularly. Actually dying every 100 years or so makes it much less likely anyone will catch on and it'll give you a chance to start anew. Given that nothing on the reincarnate list actually exists save humans, I imagine you'd be human ever time. Of course mixing "real" and fantasy you never know.

Edit: I guess clone would work, but auto-reincarnate is not something you'd have to maintain.


I just don't have the mindset required to take levels in druid =)

Sovereign Court

Hmmm ... life bubble plus interplanetary teleport plus alien costume equals great prank when you hop over to Mars and pose for the rover's cameras ...

Sovereign Court

You could also become the best private investigator of all time ...

Lost your family dohickey? Locate object.

Need to tail someone? Invisibility is your friend ... or alter self or disguise self ...

Need to hear what's going on in that meeting? Claraudience/Clairvoyance FTW

Bad guys find out about you? Charm person comes in quite handy

Bad guys trying to kill you? Fireball, lightning bolt, maximized quickened magic missiles ... the list goes on and on ...


Orthos wrote:
I just don't have the mindset required to take levels in druid =)

I think I do, but it's hard to say. If I had even low level magic I think I'd quite like being outside more.

Endure elements comes to mind.


zylphryx wrote:

You could also become the best private investigator of all time ...

Lost your family dohickey? Locate object.

Need to tail someone? Invisibility is your friend ... or alter self or disguise self ...

Need to hear what's going on in that meeting? Claraudience/Clairvoyance FTW

Bad guys find out about you? Charm person comes in quite handy

Bad guys trying to kill you? Fireball, lightning bolt, maximized quickened magic missiles ... the list goes on and on ...

That's actually a good plan. Just become the best private investigator ever and charge out the nose.

On a related note
I have this fantasy where I have telepathy. Just that and I'd market myself as a negotiation consultant. I wouldn't do the negotiating. I'd just give insight into what the other person is thinking. Of course I'd lie and say I was using a combination of observation and research. Like a mentalist, only with magic. It's be for company mergers, lawyers, etc.


Another way of earning your money with magic? Remove disease, restoration, regeneration and heal if you are a witch or oracle. Reviving the dead could be problematic depending what would be real world threshold for diamond required to cast life-returning magic.

Polymorph any object used to reassign sex of transgendered people and as a non-invasive plastic surgery.

Using regular polymorph on people wishing to experience world from the point of another species. Or for those with appropriate interest experience sex as a member of opposite gender... I think that the last option alone could earn millions.


Drejk wrote:

Another way of earning your money with magic? Remove disease, restoration, regeneration and heal if you are a witch or oracle. Reviving the dead could be problematic depending what would be real world threshold for diamond required to cast life-returning magic.

Polymorph any object used to reassign sex of transgendered people and as a non-invasive plastic surgery.

Using regular polymorph on people wishing to experience world from the point of another species. Or for those with appropriate interest experience sex as a member of opposite gender... I think that the last option alone could earn millions.

You may have missed the "keep a low profile" part. If you start regenerating people they're likely to think something is up.


But what if it wasn't "you" doing the "surgeries"...could that maitain your cover?


Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Drejk wrote:

Another way of earning your money with magic? Remove disease, restoration, regeneration and heal if you are a witch or oracle. Reviving the dead could be problematic depending what would be real world threshold for diamond required to cast life-returning magic.

Polymorph any object used to reassign sex of transgendered people and as a non-invasive plastic surgery.

Using regular polymorph on people wishing to experience world from the point of another species. Or for those with appropriate interest experience sex as a member of opposite gender... I think that the last option alone could earn millions.

You may have missed the "keep a low profile" part. If you start regenerating people they're likely to think something is up.

Pick people who will be interested in remaining silent. Convince them that the permanency of your magic depends upon their silence. Add geas to your spell list.


Calas Dermain wrote:
But what if it wasn't "you" doing the "surgeries"...could that maitain your cover?

Surgery can't regrow body parts, though maybe soon. [url=http://io9.com/humans-may-soon-regenerate-damaged-body-parts-like-sala-509269956]Science may be able to regenerate humans without magic.[/b]


Drejk wrote:
Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Drejk wrote:

Another way of earning your money with magic? Remove disease, restoration, regeneration and heal if you are a witch or oracle. Reviving the dead could be problematic depending what would be real world threshold for diamond required to cast life-returning magic.

Polymorph any object used to reassign sex of transgendered people and as a non-invasive plastic surgery.

Using regular polymorph on people wishing to experience world from the point of another species. Or for those with appropriate interest experience sex as a member of opposite gender... I think that the last option alone could earn millions.

You may have missed the "keep a low profile" part. If you start regenerating people they're likely to think something is up.
Pick people who will be interested in remaining silent. Convince them that the permanency of your magic depends upon their silence. Add geas to your spell list.

Seems risky, but I suppose it could work.


Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Drejk wrote:
Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Drejk wrote:

Another way of earning your money with magic? Remove disease, restoration, regeneration and heal if you are a witch or oracle. Reviving the dead could be problematic depending what would be real world threshold for diamond required to cast life-returning magic.

Polymorph any object used to reassign sex of transgendered people and as a non-invasive plastic surgery.

Using regular polymorph on people wishing to experience world from the point of another species. Or for those with appropriate interest experience sex as a member of opposite gender... I think that the last option alone could earn millions.

You may have missed the "keep a low profile" part. If you start regenerating people they're likely to think something is up.
Pick people who will be interested in remaining silent. Convince them that the permanency of your magic depends upon their silence. Add geas to your spell list.
Seems risky, but I suppose it could work.

Also, cast spells only while using disguise self/alter self/polymorphy.


Drejk wrote:
Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Drejk wrote:
Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Drejk wrote:

Another way of earning your money with magic? Remove disease, restoration, regeneration and heal if you are a witch or oracle. Reviving the dead could be problematic depending what would be real world threshold for diamond required to cast life-returning magic.

Polymorph any object used to reassign sex of transgendered people and as a non-invasive plastic surgery.

Using regular polymorph on people wishing to experience world from the point of another species. Or for those with appropriate interest experience sex as a member of opposite gender... I think that the last option alone could earn millions.

You may have missed the "keep a low profile" part. If you start regenerating people they're likely to think something is up.
Pick people who will be interested in remaining silent. Convince them that the permanency of your magic depends upon their silence. Add geas to your spell list.
Seems risky, but I suppose it could work.
Also, cast spells only while using disguise self/alter self/polymorphy.

Also may want to wait until they're unconscious or not paying attention.


Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Calas Dermain wrote:
But what if it wasn't "you" doing the "surgeries"...could that maitain your cover?
Surgery can't regrow body parts, though maybe soon. [url=http://io9.com/humans-may-soon-regenerate-damaged-body-parts-like-sala-509269956]Science may be able to regenerate humans without magic.[/b]

Speaking of tech- with satelites having almost block-to-block level seeing scope now and technology constantly evolving- the effort one would go through to avoid being noticed could be extreme- not that a wizard couldn't do it... but it would have to be extensively prepared. Humans don't just disappear/reappear in two different spots for example... or become different people in a literal second. Even small thing add up over time.

EDIT just pointing out complications...


Calas Dermain wrote:
Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Calas Dermain wrote:
But what if it wasn't "you" doing the "surgeries"...could that maitain your cover?
Surgery can't regrow body parts, though maybe soon. [url=http://io9.com/humans-may-soon-regenerate-damaged-body-parts-like-sala-509269956]Science may be able to regenerate humans without magic.[/b]
Speaking of tech- with satelites having almost block-to-block level seeing scope now and technology constantly evolving- the effort one would go through to avoid being noticed could be extreme- not that a wizard couldn't do it... but it would have to be extensively prepared. Humans don't just disappear/reappear in two different spots for example... or become different people in a literal second. Even small thing add up over time.

That would depend on how tech and magic interact. It's "possible" that anything that keeps you from being remotely viewed would prevent technology from "seeing" you. Mindblank would probably do the trick. Maybe even a lesser spell.

Sovereign Court

spell research, man, spell research.

Invisibility to Constructs is now on my research list ;)


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Stealing from the poor is easier.

Get rich quick schemes, religion and politics are the three easiest means of theft in the world.

Also 3 ways to get praised while stealing.


Abraham spalding wrote:

Stealing from the poor is easier.

Get rich quick schemes, religion and politics are the three easiest means of theft in the world.

Also 3 ways to get praised while stealing.

That single-handedly made my day.

EDIT: I would help people- unseen of course.

Dark Archive

zylphryx wrote:

You could also become the best private investigator of all time ...

Lost your family dohickey? Locate object.

Need to tail someone? Invisibility is your friend ... or alter self or disguise self ...

Need to hear what's going on in that meeting? Claraudience/Clairvoyance FTW

Bad guys find out about you? Charm person comes in quite handy

Bad guys trying to kill you? Fireball, lightning bolt, maximized quickened magic missiles ... the list goes on and on ...

Alright there Harry Dresden all execpt the charm part lol.


Ok, who has 10 million dollars and wants to be cured of aids first?

Congratulations, you just funded my african tour. Line em up for the cure spells.


Calas Dermain wrote:
Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Calas Dermain wrote:
But what if it wasn't "you" doing the "surgeries"...could that maitain your cover?
Surgery can't regrow body parts, though maybe soon. [url=http://io9.com/humans-may-soon-regenerate-damaged-body-parts-like-sala-509269956]Science may be able to regenerate humans without magic.[/b]

Speaking of tech- with satelites having almost block-to-block level seeing scope now and technology constantly evolving- the effort one would go through to avoid being noticed could be extreme- not that a wizard couldn't do it... but it would have to be extensively prepared. Humans don't just disappear/reappear in two different spots for example... or become different people in a literal second. Even small thing add up over time.

EDIT just pointing out complications...

If you disguise/polymorph yourself at your home, teleport far outside, do your business and teleport back before disguise/polymorph ends there is nothing to connect what you done with you (assuming you left no significant traces).

Hmmm...

Actually, with planar binding and decent guide to extraplanar beings you do not have to expose yourself to anything. Just conjure a creature with an ability to use greater teleport of a type that won't be bent of twisting your commands and screwing you and you're golden.

Ah, heck. Make it a creature that can provide mortals with wish. Even less problems...


Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

I would probably be a greed magic transmuter. Not a big fan of faking things or manipulating others to ones will. But would use my power to make myself super awesome, produce enough wealth to give myself a modest lifestyle and fund every charity and medical/green energy program in the world. If I find a need for violence..........well just try to kill me. :)


Decanter of endless water. Move to the desert and start a water company. Make more decanters as needed.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

The plan:

I think really when you get into what my goals would be with real world magic, simply adressing my primary nemesis would be the fastest path to contentment... Happy is goal number 2.

What's the most personally and globally profitable nemesis for someone with magical power? Why time itself. The undefeatable foe. Not like Doctor Who time conquering... I don't think I care much for that...

For that we need epic transmutation... I'm looking for the ability to change anything about my form and anything about the forms of anything I touch at will. Replace all my old fat me cells with young strong cells so that I can live forever in a young strong healthy body with a mind that will never age or falter as well.... Cancer? Gone. Blood clots? never. Clogged arteries? (wrinkels nose...) not anymore! Mechanical screws in my right knee? Nah. Pop them puppies out and I'm gonna get me a stem cell replacement that rivals the power of modern science... Put in some fresh genetically perfect teeth and voila.Now I'm 'who I want to be'.... The ageless, healthy perfect version of myself.

Step 2... How to get rich... Divination lottery is fun but kinda boring... The touchy transmutation power though can turn a profit as well by being used to fight the ravages of time and, as the OP puts it, stay low key and under the radar... I'm going to go into car repair... Head to the junkyard and pick me out a crapped out old muscle car like a 67 gto (my personal favorite).... Grab maybe a totalled Lotus esprit, acura nsx, any ferrari's they've got lying around that still have matching vins and PHS certification... Go barnyard hunting for some rusted abandoned cars from the 1930-1970s... Take them to my secluded garage, close the door, close my eyes, wave of the hand and in my mind I mutter the words 'the day it came off the showroom floor'... Then I keep the cars I like and sell the one's I don't... Use that money to buy a machine shop so that the business looks legit, and do it whenever i'm feeling bored. Need a headliner replaced? It'll be ready by tomorrow. (waves hand and its done in 6 seconds...) you want me to chrome your fender? ready by tomorrow (waves hand and its done in 6 seconds...) Money and fun at the same time. Maybe win some car shows just to get out of the house and meet someone...

Inevitably, boredom sets in... Time to grab a 67 impala and restore it to showroom floor. But this winchester brother has a different mission... THis is where Divination magic kicks in to find all those kidnapped children I see on the news all the time or find ways to determine if and where aliens exist... Figure out how to make a functional enterprise e... Haven't quite worked out the particulars of how i'd keep that 'low key and under the radar' but it seems like I could fill the hole in the now wowbaggeringly prolonged lifespan I have to work with... Solving mysteries and saving kids.

If we're talking about serious epic level magic my old nemesis time rears it's ugly head once more... so I'd also want a spell that allows me to summon historical figures so that I can ask them about their life experiences, get some first class martial art instruction from all the true masters, and if nothing else.. Just keep me company and kick back with, since time has taken many and will eventually take all, all the while trying to avoid death by time myself...

Infinite money, infinite time, infinite health, infinite companionship... meeting aliens and rescuing children... what more can you ask for?


Polymorphing people, not permanently, for LARGE sums of cash, and demands for doing good things. Plastic surgery is secret enough as it is, this won't be seen as weird. New customers through recommendation. First one is free. Paperwork in order.

...

PROFIT! Plus, get the wealthy to do good stuff.

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