"It's not a who, itza boiled sheep stomach stuffed with...meat and stuff, everything a growing orc needs"
Puts away the spider in a vial and forks over coin for dinner and a room upstairs for the evening. It comes out of his starting cash.
You all get your food at a big, round table. Yes, including you, Nasty.
"Yummie food. Me wants Haggis too. Like the boiled sheep stomach stuffed with stuff sounds tasty."
He eats it all almost in one bite.
"Bardy guy play me an orcish tune with your flute. Something pleasant like the song "I left my love in a bloody pulpy mess."
*gets up from table, belches loudly, walks to stage sets hat down with sign tipz aprecated, pulls out lute not flute and sings*
"Oh I got real drunk last night
and stumbled home from the bar
I fall through the door and see my wife kissing a duergar
So i bang,bang,banged I banged her on the head
I bang, bang, banged with my pipe of lead"
OMG. WHY ARE WE ROLEPLAYING EATING A MEAL? WHY NOT JUST ACTUALLY EAT ONE?
I JUST DID!
"AM HEALER talky too much and bash everyone for no reason. Me thinky he should be playing different game maybe WOW or something. Want some pizza and Code Red? Maybe some Cheetos? "
"I think pouty lipped lady said no drinking for you. Last time you drank you convinced everyone to kill a bard and I ate him for you."
*After giving nessy the evil eye, I walk outside the bar and observe.
NASTY gives James Bard Agent 001E a smile.
"I like you. You gave me Haggis. Me eat you last if no food."
Gods, where do I sleep?
"Hehehehehe!"
*starts playing with ball in cup as this is more stimulating than watching empty street*
dex check
Jamie: Empty street is empty. A rat scurries off. Nobody outside.
*Goes up to the innkeeper.*
I am having trouble reading this name. Does it look familiar to you?
*Shows the signature on the note.*
*Smiles at Alissa, heads over to table with old lady with cards, sits down*
"Deal me in"
MEDITATE ON SCENT OF FOOD
THEN JOIN CARD GAME
OMG. NOW WE'RE PLAYING CARDS? I HAVEN'T KILLED SOMETHING IN AT LEAST AN HOUR.
DOES ONE OF THE BAR PATRONS LOOK PARTICULARLY WEAK OR SICKLY? I'M THINKING IF I TAKE ONE OUT QUICKLY IT SHOULD TIDE ME OVER FOR A WHILE.
I'm down with killing stuff. How about this old betty dealing cards?
I should tell you that Really Old Gamer has been in a lot of pain lately, due to sitting on a fat wallet on his bunged-up hips for too long, gamemastering you louts. So, he asked me to tell you to find another to keep up the gamemastering torch. His posting was growing a bit too infrequent, and at that point he felt it was better that someone else step up. He also wanted me to offer his sincere apologies. I believe his exact words were:
"Ow ow ow my hip. Who put that wallet there??? I did? Huh, goes to show. Yeah, by the way, those bard-eating rascals should be sorry. They will be, once they notice they are being followed by rats everywhere. What's that? Ah yeah, tell them sorry, and thank them for indulging an old man."
Oh Nooooooooooo! Who will run the game?
Gonna miss you Rog. Get well soon.
*Takes of hat,starts singing melancholy tune as he puts the dice in the coffin*
"Poor old bastard, he gave it a good run"
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Its been a while, but I am willing to give it a try.
Between patients, of course.
Great. A squid for a GM.
Would you prefer an illithid?
Looks around like a lost puppy.
"Are we still playing? Or do I need to go home?"
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Sorry, I had to take care of a screaming kid with a tiny spinter in his finger.
Reading thru Really old gamer's notes, I see you are in a town called...
uh, Lichberg. You are at an inn called The Hangman's Noose looking for information amout "The Tomb of Borrors."
In the party we have:
The Nasty Orc - A Barbarian of dubious distinction.
Am Sorcerer Too - A Sorcerer of low esteem.
Ranger Alissa - A Ranger with a tragic past.
Bard, James Bard agent 001E - A Bard fallen on hard times.
Nesod Monkchinegun - A Wizard who is putting on a few pounds.
Alissa's Bear - A Bear of questionable size.
Am Healer - A Cleric who does not want to be one.
The Gazebo - An Animated Object with a taste for raw flesh.
Full BAB Rogue in Plate - A Rogue who steals from his friends.
Bleached Otyugh - Am Healer's Mount that with strange tastes (for an Otyugh).
Have I forgotten anyone.
*I use my uber bardic knowledge check, do I know anything of value about the tomb?
knowledge local?
LOOKS LIKE CALAMARI IS ON THE MENU.
Neson, your detect rats only reveals one rat. It is in the rafters.
James, you know very little about Lichburg as you only arrived last week. You have no idea if the Tomb is here or not.
Am Healer, the waitress brings you what you ordered. Then you remember you are nowhere near the sea, so how can there be calamari here.
Lissa, the innkeeper apologizes for keeping you waiting, but one of the cooks didn't show up and she has to help in the kitchen. She is a women in her late forties, with dark hair except for a white lock of hair coming from a scar on her scalp. A close look at her also shows a scar around her neck that looks like a rope burn.
"I recognize that signature. It belongs to Lord Balamos. He is a retired general who moved here about a year ago. He lives just outside of town, on Dead Man's Road. He sends his stable boy into town every month for provisions. He doesn't get out much due to injuries he suffered in some battle. I don't ever remember him receiving visitors before now."
Is his stable boy due in town anytime soon?
*singing*
There's a rat in the rafters what ima gonna do
there's a rat in the rafters what ima gonna do
I'm gonna fexe that rat thats what in gonna do
i'm gonna fexe that rat
OKAY. SO WE KILL THE STABLE BOY AND THEN SEE IF THIS LORD HAS A QUEST THAT IS NOT BORING.
Looking at the bard.
"I could eat the rat then there would be no more rat. Would you give me more haggis if I did that?"
Slaps AM HEALER on the back of his head
Control your psyschotic urges you fool.
OKAY. SO WE KILL THE STABLE BOY AND THEN SEE IF THIS LORD HAS A QUEST THAT IS NOT BORING.
Just as Am H says that, a few members of the Watch enter the inn. They could not help overhearing as everyone but your party stopped talking. They approach Am H.
"If I were you sir, I would not jest about such things. Our Lord Mayor just appointed a Witch as our town judge. Not only do the guilty spend time in jail, but they are Hex't."
James, you did not see the rat as you were racking your brains about the Tomb and playing cards.
Roll me a gambling check.
Nasty, the barmaid brings you a second helping of Haggis. She says it was paid for by the lady in the corner.
*Are we playing 1E or pathfinder?*
gambling
I THINK THE STABLE BOY IS A SUCCUBUS.
Nasty Orc looks over to the corner where the person who bought him the haggis came from.
He gives her a big toothy smile. "THANK YOU !!!!"
He looks around for the Pouty Lady and her bear.
I THINK THE STABLE BOY IS A SUCCUBUS.
"That does not matter. Being a demon is not against the law here.
I suggest you study the town laws before you take any actions."He points to a sign on the east side wall.
Nasty, the woman who bought you the haggis is a female half-orc. She smiles back at you. The full orc sitting with her gives you a look that would cause a medusa to avert her gaze.
James, your gambling skills pay off. After an hour of playing you have won 13 sp.
Alissa, the innkeeper gives you directions to Lord Balamos's house.
Am Sorcerer, the Watch see you smack Am Healer on the back of the head.
"Sir, I am afraid you will have to come with us. You are under arrest for assault."
They pull out a pair of shackles with runes etched on them and place them on your wrists.
He smiles at both the female half-orc and the full orc sitting with her. Out loud he says across the room.
"Thank you for the haggis. It is really good. Want to join me?"
After getting the directions I decide to turn in for the night. I go to my room, lock the window and door, put Bear on guard and go to sleep.