The Masters of Golarion (epic level): Need a new GM


Recruitment

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Well, I was thinking that Jake would've been the only magical one in his immediate family, but that could work, I guess. Though, you seem to have different stats in your block and your breakdown, so I'm just confused there. 10 in Intelligence isn't too dim, either, so it seems like we'd both know what we're doing. :P

Also, about that DR, that's gonna be a real kick in the pants when it comes to the fights.


Yar!

For full attacks, it could (though most rarely go higher than DR15). Fortunately, Sir Orrin is more of a mobile one-hit-wonder. ^_^

As for Ralph being in the family... he could have been a late bloomer. Most of his levels are in a non-casting class. Those battle oracle levels could have been gained at the end, inspired by his magically inclined "big-bro"... or something. Even as a second cousin or whatever the relation ends up being.

As mentioned previously, Sir Orrin has traveled all over the place. Anywhere evil rears it's ugly head, Sir Orrin will likely be there riding into battle to take it down. (he does have a tendency to rush into things in the name of Valor, even if it ends up with him over his head... being a halfling, that is most of the time! :D )

He has saved many lives through his exploits, and has fought in many battles. He could have met anyone during those adventures. Also, if Sir Orrin did influence any of you, then it is likely that you heard about his presumed death many years ago, and perhaps even travelled to his funeral to pay respects (where the monastery vanished in a puff of fire and brimstone, and tracking it down lead to discovering Sir Orrin alive and well, fighting off (and holding off) the hoards of Baator/Hell by himself until you* show up and take him away from the fight/rescue him).

* "you" if you choose to have prior relations with Sir Orrin and go on this quest. I can send detailed info on this adventure if you wish to take part.

Other areas where one may have heard of, met, or befriended Sir Orrin:

Anywhere in Andoran (he is/was an Eagle Knight)
Lastwall
The Worldwound
Varisia (specifically Sandpoint and Magnimar)

~P


@Crash, that feat is not only 3.5 (which is bad) but homebrew 3.5 as well.

@aceDiamond, sure, take family ties... Validk, being a doppelganger has a rather... diversified taste. Having someone that has to fill any request, yum. :)

Being half-celestial, Validk does have access to some SLA's

CSW 1/day, resurrection.

So if he has an SLA of CSW, can he use a wand of CSW without UMD? not that it matters, he can make the umd check for wands and staves automatically.

If I am using a staff with cleric spells with UMD. Do I need a divine aster to recharge the staff? Since my SLA's are divine, could I use them to recharge the staff?

As for shared background, Validk has the Odysseus Foundation. He is a philanthropist that operates throughout Golarion. (Thinking of adding an outpost in Shadow Absolom.) He is likely to have worked with everyone else at one point or another on some mission.

The others are still welcome to establish dwellings in his demi-plane as well.


I really want in on that adventure, P. Send me the details when you get the chance.

Also, Fnord, I believe a recent errata said you meet the prerequisite for wands without UMD. As for charges, I haven't a clue.


Sir Orrin and Validk would know of each other through Magnimar, that is one of the larger facilities of the OF.


Well Ralph can only cast 2nd level spells, just enough to be able to use wands so I got no problems even playing as if I had none as its not a big loss for me.
Btw my character is not done crunch wise, lots of changes and choices to be made.

The Deadly flaw is homebrew 3.5 material but it fits my idea for my character real well (hense why I am askng about it)

I am thinking that a section of the demiplane would be great for Ralph, a slice of his own, full of bunnies and squirrels :D


Heh, well, if he's not got great common sense, average knowledge, and he looks like that picture you're using, Ralph's going to need to be pretty dang well spoken with that sort of charisma.


aceDiamond: the family ties flaw looks ok, although avoiding it with a DC 20 will save won't be much of a problem at this point. I think it would be best of a flaw if you have some family who are not in line with your alignment, as it were. Or maybe just a really bothersome grandmother who always wants you to run annoying errands when you are trying to save the world.

Wrecker Ralph: I'm good with the flaw as damaging creatures and objects. I'm not going to be a total jerk about it, but I would certainly reserve the right to have it cause complications. I think in pbp that is going to be the most fun. As for mounts, I was thinking you were unable to manage delicate things like squeezing too hard with knees/hips or pulling so hard on the reins it kills a horse.

I'm going to leave past connections and the level you guys want to define those up to you. Right now I'm working to get enough material to get us through some stuff.


Hmmm, well, I could do Dependent instead if that sounds good to you.

I'm really interested in what you're thinking of running, too. I'm on the edge of my seat.


Yar!

tumbler wrote:
Right now I'm working to get enough material to get us through some stuff.

That is some sweet, sweet awesome-sauce! :D

I'll see about writing up past adventure details during an upcoming break, but I make no promises for it getting done today.

Once you're ready tumbler, how will we go about starting? Will you make a new game thread and campaign on your own and direct us to it? ...will you take over the original? ...should I create a new campaign for this thread for you to then take over? *curious*

Did You Inherit a Play-By-Post at the top explains how to take over a campaign. Creating your own is (I think) explained at the top as you create new game threads. I haven't actually done so myself though, so I might be wrong.

~P


Something came up that I wanted to ask for a bit. Will Mythic rules come into play in this campaign? I'm only asking because I just downloaded the playtest rules last week. At the very least, seems like it may help out tumbler in making events.


aceDiamond: Dependent seems more fun. You still probably aren't going to fail that many diplomacy checks but it could happen.

I think if it is ok I will just try to take over the existing play-by-post assuming you all agree.

As for Mythic, I completely ignored the playtest because it just didn't fit into any of my games at the time. I am a subscriber, so once the book comes out I will likely incorporate it. I also may look back through the 3.5 epic book just for the purpose of using some of the skill DC's. We use some of those in our tabletop games, things like free kip up with a DC 35 Acrobatics, tumble up a wall instead of climb with a +20 over the climb DC, Balance on Clouds, Swim up a Waterfall. I think all of those have come up in games I've run. Oh, and the Diplomacy checks to create fanatics.

I have an all day wedding to go to on Saturday, but I could post an initial scenario by Sunday if that is desirable.


I just want to have the feel of a character who, when it really is needed of him, will do what he's asked by those close to him. I realize I probably could make the saves necessary to prevent the downside of Family Ties almost every day of the week, but the idea is that I'll be playing someone who would do what's asked of him by those who are significantly close to him as often as possible. I feel like the only time I'd even need to attempt that Will save would be when a family member is asking for something diametrically and blatantly opposed to my character's alignment and way of thinking. Or else why even take the trait at all?

Also, that is a quick setup for a scenario. I'm interested in seeing what you've got in store. No need to rush, though, we've got some time for some fine tuning.

Plus, when the book comes out, I for one would like to check out the finished ruleset. It does seem interesting.
EDIT: Going over the playtest again, I remembered that there are some magic weapon special abilities like Holy or Axiomatic that overcome DR/good or DR/lawful without requiring their weapons to have a +5 enhancement bonus. Maybe we could homebrew a similar enhancement to overcome DR/epic? Just thinking out loud.


Well, it is difficult to balance pitching plot ideas without spoiling mysteries, but here are some ideas:

People seem to like the notion of seeking immortality. I imagine that might look like this:

Lives are the result of three godlike women who weave, measure, and cut the thread ala Norns or Fates. Characters have to steal their threads.

Their threads are already cut, so they have to extend them somehow. Maybe they have to find the mythical spiders or silk worms who spin the thread, and maybe those creatures have to be fed special ingredients (blood of a dead god, maybe)

The party heads into the astral plane to find the corpse of a dead god. Here they encounter an alien race known as a the Githyanki who are ruled by a powerful Lich Queen who makes Tar Baphon look like an apprentice. Also they ride red dragons and are immortal on their home plane.

They inevitably come into conflict with these people because Gith are imperialists. The Gith turn their attention to Golarion, which they have never encountered before.

Cue Ride of the Valkyries and invasion of Dragon Riding Scary People.

This seems to connect the motivations of all characters, with lots of opportunity for finding new kinds of magic and magic items.

None of this is set in stone, of course. Just some stuff I worked up today.


Yar!

An actual proposed start is all sorts of awesome! :D

Also, I'm not too worried about DR epic, but as I said, that's only because I plan on doing as many single high damage attacks as possible rather than many weaker attacks.

Some of the proposed plot so far lines up hilariously well with some of the pre-game adventures I'll be posting in spoilers for those who would have partaken in them soon (mostly a single part that I happened to just write out), but that will come in a few hours when I'm no longer at work.

tumbler: Another thing to consider (you may already have) is political intrigue and the like. I know GMV was hoping for more intrigue and espionage than combat. I like a good mix myself (sometimes leaning more towards combat, but I'm really good with anything as long as it isn't too one sided). But yeah, super excited! Also, a huge thanks for taking us on! :D

~P


It has some elements that appeal to me. I will mull it over and post again tomorrow on this.


You know, that is pretty funny you bring that up. Didn't Skalda want to play a Norn before leaving to start her gestalt game?

Still, seems like some interesting ideas and adventures. I'm looking forward to this already.


I see a lot of potential for intrigue in that outline. You aren't going to just walk into those places, and you can't fight your way into wherever those Norns live. Do you really want to pick a fight with the people or servant of the people who have scissors that can end you when you aren't even on the same plane?

Lots of potential for talking to the various weirdos who live on different planes, finding allies in the astral, finding a guide who won't lead you into an ambush.

It is harder to tease intrigue and mystery elements without giving away the mystery.


Sounds like fun. Our search for immortality is the cause that brings a race of conquerors to Golarion, that we then have to rescue.


Looking over the thread, it looks like Nagato - my epic Samsaran Druid with Mass Heal and Miracle - would have been good addition to the party after all. I know I had to bow out about a month back, but things have since cleared up for me. Could I still join in the fun?


Yar!

Heya CDL! Welcome back to the Masters! As much as I'm up for more, I must divert approval to tumbler. I know (from personal experience) how hard it can be to run a game with lots of players, especially so at this level. Of course, I have no idea how comfortable tumbler is with this either, so I really should stop rambling on about it. I blame being up for 22 hours so far today (most of which was at work). I am glad to see you back in here again though! (also: having a great time in Jelani's Witchwar legacy with ya) :D

I promised everyone a background / past-adventure post... so here it is:

The Adventure in Magnimar:
Many seasons ago, there was a strange occurrence in Golarion that very few noticed. However, those who did notice were drawn to Magnimar, as it was here that the source of the strangeness seemed to emanate. Dark spots started to form on the sun, andit's light began to dim ever so slightly. Even some of the lesser knowns stars in the night sky seemed to have simply vanished, never to glow again. People with great power started to have dreams where the sun itself turned as if to blood, and could no longer sustain itself in the sky... just before falling below the horizon, something enormous and unseen takes a bite out of the sun, leaving gaping teeth marks in it before it vanishes completely. As it turned out, there was a cult working within Magnimar, enslaving it's citizens and slowly sending them into the depths never to return. It was discovered that this cult was lead by an alien creature never before seen on Golarion: an Illithid. This monstrosity was not only eating peoples brains, but using them as fuel for some greater design.

Sir Orrin and a number of fellow heroes uncovered the horror of this cult and put a stop to it. However, they also learned that this was but one cult spread across many different worlds and even planes of existence, all doing the same thing. To what end? It seemed that the sacrifices were being used to power a massive inter-dimension device to siphon away the raw energy of countless stars and Golarion's own sun, to fuel an even more foul mix of magic and technology to law ruin to the entire multiverse, possible even causing it to implode or reshape itself and all of history to the whims of the alien Illithids. Rather than to to take on each cult individually (a likely impossible task given how many were apparently involved), Sir Orrin and the other heroes found where these stolen energies were going to: the world of Penumbra, located on the far side of the Void, beyond reach of even many deities.

But the Illithid that came to be on Golarion had to get here somehow. Perhaps backtracking it's steps would allow us to find a way to stop their cataclysmic plans at their source. After some searching, Sir Orrin and his companions discovered an ancient nautiloid, an alien ship (spacecraft) able to traverse the Void and beyond it. The group sent messages to those important to them on Golarion, boarded the nautiloid, and departed into the vastness of the Void.

After some weeks, the Sun started to shine brightly again, and all remnants of the darkness that started to befall it were no more.

However, Sir Orrin never returned from this journey.

Obviously there is more to that story. Sir Orrin will tell of it to those who were not there should they ask (I'm making a post for ace about the journey through the Void specifically, as Jacob is most interested in that sort of thing), but if you think such a past adventure is for you, I can give those details in this format as well.

News of the loss of Sir Orrin spread, and after several months, he was presumed dead. A funeral was to be held in his honour, located at a little known temple of Chaldira Zuzaristan, in Iobaria, located in northern Casmaron. Many came to honor the lost hero, many more than the temple could possibly hold. Among them were countless halflings: family, friends, local tribes of Iobaria, and freed slaves of Cheliax. However, the day before the ceremony was to commence, disaster struck. The monastery vanished! All that remained in its place was a crater that reeked of brimstone.

To those who sought out the cause of this event:
The temple was sucked into Baator, also known as Hell. The magic was such that any who were to be honored within this temple when it was stolen would also be damned to hell, their spirit sucked away from wherever it was to the burning pits instead. The location within Hell was not just anywhere, but to a specific, strange pocket dimension between the 5th and 6th layers. Astral travel would be unreliable and too time consuming, as it can only take one to the first layer of any outer plane, and the rest of the journey must be made there. Teleportation was impossible for traveling directly to this locale, and far to unreliable and dangerous to use within the Hell itself to get around. Fortunately, an old ally of Sir Orrin, a wizard he met near the beginning of his adventuring career on his way from Iobaria to Andoran, had an alternative method. His name is Emirikol, and he sent messengers to the crater as soon as he could. He called any friend of Sir Orrin powerful enough to make it to him to come, and he would give them the means to get to the stolen temple, and prevent the corruption and torment of a good friend.

Those who answered the call traveled to the wrecked isles that was once the homeland of the ancient Azlanti. Among the crags and rapid waters rose a tower made from crystal. Surrounding this tower was a whirlwind, eternal like the Eye of Abendego, but much smaller, and most dramatically different, composed of shrapnel, twisted metal summoned from the plane of earth, ranging in size from like specs of sand to colossal chunks 40' across. The shards swirled about, plunging into the ground and water, tearing new rents as they blasted through everything in their path. Ghostly creatures also haunted the surrounding areas - anathema to casters - these tormented and starving creatures feed upon magical energy, often latching onto spellcasters and draining them of their spellpower and knowledge, and devouring lingering magical effects as they appear, yet unable to slow the torrent of the metal-storm. Lining the eye of the storm was another obstacle, a continuous and never ending stampede of beasts, trampling over and even through earth, water and air alike. Several tens of thousands of creatures of all sizes and shapes stuck in an eternal stampede.

Inside the eye of the storm rose the crystal tower, and within was found Emirikol. He congratulated the would be heroes and bestowed upon them a schooner class ship of questionable make. Questionable not in the quality, but with regards to its demonic origins. However, this ship was one of the few vessels capable of safely traversing the River Styx, allowing the only direct route to the 5th layer of hell, and to the spot closest to the pocket dimension between layers where the stolen temple now rests.

The ship was called Demonwing, and it was forged by the smiths of Demogorgon himself, using an entire layer of the abyss for it's form and materials. Thus, it's outside was finite and able to traverse rivers normal and evil, while the inside decks were near infinite as an entire world/plane of existence was within. The captain of Demonwing was a Balor named Straoth, bound to the ship by the might of Demogorgon, and contractually bound to Emirikol for this one final task. Emirikol ordered he bring the group to the point on the 5th where they could find the shortest path to the lost temple. And so, the journey upon the River Styx through the lower planes began.

The crew of the Demonwing remained above deck at all times. They were numerous, powerful, and permanently invisible. Among their number were over a score of Spectral Trolls, a like number of Skeletal Champions, and the first mate: Ungurth (a powerful Glabrezu). Most who journey through the lower planes are constantly harassed by the fiendish denizens, even if the travellers are native to those planes as well. However, the few times a local dared to approach the trespassing Demonwing, they quickly realized their err and fled. One may recall a trio of Mezzoloths who gestured threateningly at you and the ship as it approached, only to lose color as it neared and they recognized it, then in a chorus of shrill screams they fled as fast as they could.

Below decks was a whole new world (literally). At first, the below decks seemed to be carved from granite deep within the bowels of an abyssal world. Those who tried to investigate the thickness of the walls, floors and even ceiling found the stone to simply go on infinitely in all directions. Cavern like lakes filled the below decks as well, and were often inhabited by Hezrou, Wastriliths, fiendish water weirds, and worse. There were also statues of various demons, many frog-like yet scaled, others simply indescribable. Waterfalls of the black water that filled these internal lakes created an everlasting rush of sound while in the first area of the below decks, and some of the waterfalls seems to fall into a bottomless dark pit only to come crashing back down on the lake it originated from, as if parts of the below decks folded space in on itself to create dangerous infinite loops. The cavernous maze split into maky ifferent areas, some inhabited by numerous demons, including: Gorristro's, Vrocks, Bar-Igura, Babau horrors, Cambions, Succubi, Maraliths, a captured Osyluth, and other abominations. There was also a pair of Alu-Fiends who also seemed to be master fiendish craftsmen, and they had a strange rusty device that slowly turned with a fiendish screech, drawing in negative energy from an unknown source. It seemed that these demons knew the secret of creating Spheres of Annihilation, and were in the process of creating another one of these pits of absolute destruction. At the end of one of the cavernous lakes in this demonic maze of stone was an enormous statue of Demogorgon, and living upon it was a colony of Ixitxachitl (manta-ray like demons who fly through the air like normal rays swim through water), lead by a powerful Vampiric priest. Behind that unholy statue and makeshift desecrated temple of evil was a wall made from a giant heart, pumping black blood into the walls and unknown depths beyond. Before this giant beating heart was a portal of rusted iron and bone shards, its center shimmering sickly like tainted liquid metal. Beyond this portal lay the "surface" of this world below the upper deck of the Demonwing. It emerges onto a small plateau at the bottom of a canyon, it's walls rising some 500' into the air. The sky above was black with glowing purple clouds that constantly flashed with dark-purple, black, or blue lightning. Beyond the canyon walls was an endless sea of poisonous, caustic liquid, which constantly churned and raged with malign intent. The inside of the canyon, other than the plateau with the portal, was filled with giant abyssal ants, swarming about and spraying acid on everything nearby. At the far end of the canyon rose a tower of purest black, which split into 5 towers as it rose, topped with tear shaped structures. Guarding this tower was Kroth, an ancient and fiendish Dread Linnorm. The tower itself had no entrances whatsoever, obviously designed for those who can greater teleport at will (demons), with it was still trapped. Any who came to close would cause the tower to erupt with spinning scythes that could cleave trough even adamantine. Straoth's favorite pet (an advanced demonic retriever, a spider-like demon of terrible power with metal scythe like limbs) and head researcher (a nalfeshnee with many class levels) also make this tower their home. Among Straoth's belongings, the group found a curious note:

"To Staoth, Master of the Abyssal craft Demonwing,
Regard this Dark Knight as my representative in negotiations regarding a pact between your forces and my glorious people. I assume that you will treat him with the reverence and respect that you would afford my own presence.
I trust that once you free yourself from the bondage of mortal masters, my people, as your allies, may on occasion call upon your craft for transport. Rest assured, such favors would be returned in the form of aid while in the silver void of the Astral.
You were right to come to us. Ours is the supreme power in the multiverse. Those at our side will succeed as we do.
-Vlaakith CLVII, Lich-Queen of the Githyanki"

The inner chamber of the centre tear drop tower contained a trap door in the ceiling, which led back to the upper deck of the Demonwing, and the horrific view of the lower planes outside this ship shaped world.

It took three days of traversing the River Stix, but it finally opened up into a seemingly infinite ocean of nearly frozen waters. Finally, between two insanely large icebergs, the Demonwing stopped. You were in the bowels of Hell, within the 5th layer called Stygia, and the true terror was about to begin. Demonwing held a few submersible pods, and you had to use them to descend into the depths of the Stix, until a small hole in the depths of the iceberg made of hellish stix water. Within this hole was a membrane able to permit solids through but kept the deadly river water out. Beyond this was a series of ice caves that lead down to the Citadel Coldsteel, a Hellish fortress carved of ice and steel. This citadel was the staging grounds for an invasion. Worse yet was the Apocalypse Clocks, strange constructs that linked Coldsteel to the Lemur Pits. Individually, Lemurs are quite weak, but when their writhing hoard numbers in the millions, they tend to overwhelm all. Time was running out.

The number of devils in this citadel was staggering, and the different varieties too numerous to remember, but their numbers included Cornugons, Osyluths, Barbazus, Nupperibos, Abishai of all colors, Maelephants, Nycaloths, Gulegons, Spinagons, and a council of unfathomable evils made up of Bleg (beholder), Christanon (medusa), Ephillu (erinyes), and Squinnamorg (illithid). This council was led by Geryon himself, deposed Arch-devil and former lord and prince of the 5th. Something within the lost temple interested him, something he was willing to lay siege to acquire, and even let all the other Lords of Hell know about by unleashing the Lemur Pits upon it should his own might take too long to succeed.

At the lowest point in the Citidal, somewhere between the 5th and 6th layer of Baator/Hell, the scenery changed. Instead of archaic steel and ice, it transformed into worked stone and defaced holy symbols. Citadel Coldsteel connected to the lost monastery where Sir Orrin's funeral was about to take place.

It was not faring well.

Walls were crumbling and bodies lay strewn about, many of which were cloven twice over. While many of those trapped within the temple when it was condemned to Hell were in fact able bodies warrior, holy warriors, and mages, many were already dead. Not just dead, but forced into unlife then slain again. Devils and undead were scouring the temple, fighting against and killing survivors. Terrible beasts and other strange monsters now roamed and crushed the temple under their might. Despite being the structures evil of Hell, this was a siege most terrible, and the devils, beasts and other monsters was a swarm of vile putrescence akin to ravaging hoards of demons. And the Lemur Pits had not yet been released, but the countdown was getting closer to the end.

With all haste, you tried to purify the temple. By restoring its sanctity, you could reverse the magic that sucked it into Hell and return it to its rightful place in Golarion. You fended of an ancient blue dragon, golems made from brain matter, golems made from what seemd like pure/solid unholy energy, undead of al forms, all sorts of lesser devils, Bebiliths, a Maharaja Rakshasa and a host of lesser Rakshasas, Bone Nagas, Hell-Born-Vampires, and two Pit Fiends, to name a few.

As the clock started to run out, and the desecration of the temple was nearing complete reversal... you all heard something in the distance. A shout of challenge hauntingly familiar. There was a blackened crack in one of the walls of the temple that lead deep into Hell, and a terrible heat and rumble of crashing rocks could be felt and heard from beyond. Most liekly, this path lead into Malbolge, Hells 6th layer. However, the bodies and gore strewn about this passage was not that of men slain by devils or of the re-slain undead... but the shattered bodies of devils. As you traversed this path as quickly as possible (so as not to lose the progress made within the temple itself), the rumble of a distant avalanche of stone was tinged with the clange of claw on steel, and steel on chiten, and even steel into flesh. The wounds on the bodies of slain devils were distinctive... bruises of a small shield and holes made by a strong thrust of a thick piercing weapon... like a lance. "Now behold the blade of Chaldira Zuzaristan! Feel it's light, devils, and burn from it's righteous glory!" The voice was still a ways away, but it's powerful and commanding shout travelled clearly. Not far ahead, a lance lays against the cavern wall, bent, shattered, broken. A banner hangs off of it, torn and soiled... yet still somehow glowing with rich history, meaning, and might. This was the banner of Sir Orrin Neville-Smythe! A strange light started to pour into the winding path... hell fire mixed with a light not felt for nearly a week in otherworldly darkness... the light of the natural sun, a holy and righteous light. Around a final bend, the path finally opens up into a terrible hellish scene, an infinite landscape of falling rock and jagged mountains, each collision of rick bursting into an explosion of hellish fire. On the ledge not 10 feet away stood a halfling warrior surrounded by the bodies of dozens of slain foes. His purple cloak blown constantly backwards by an unending blast of hot air. In his left hand held strongly was his shield, battered yet still shining with a blueish light, emblazoned with the image of a sun shining down upon fields of wheat. In his right, a blade seemingly made from the light of the sun itself, and it tears through demon flesh, scales, and horn alike like it were soft butter. The hoard of devils flying through the eternal avalanche seem truly endless, yet even they give pause for the moment at the sight of this halfling and his seemingly divine fury. You have found Sir Orrin, and he is alive.

You convince him to join you back to the temple, and while Sir Orrin does join you back, he takes the rear, always ensuring the storm of Devils coming from behind stay at bay. The world itself seems to shimmer. The odour of brimstone shifts to the scent of fresh grass and spring flowers. The light of blazing fires stops flickering, softening and spreading as the light of the sun. Screams of agony and cries of rage muddle and fade until nothing is left but birds chirping in a nearby tree. The thick air of death now freshens and lightens the spirit.

Sir Orrin turns to you all with a big smile on his face.

"Boy do I have a tale to tell you guys!"

And so the temple was restored, and Sir Orrin returned to Golarion at last, alive and well.

ace: the details of Sir Orrin's journey through the Void will have to wait until after I get some sleep.

all: Sir Orrin is happy to talk about most of his past exploits as well, but most of that should probably be reserved for in game, unless - like the above spoilers - they are potential shared adventures.

Also also also: apologies for any spelling, grammar, formatting or typo issues above. I'm really tired from a long day at work and may be loosing my mind. I should go to bed. *goes to bed*

~P


Cosmic Dream Lord wrote:
Looking over the thread, it looks like Nagato - my epic Samsaran Druid with Mass Heal and Miracle - would have been good addition to the party after all. I know I had to bow out about a month back, but things have since cleared up for me. Could I still join in the fun?

Isn't mass heal a cleric only spell? I only remember this as I was buying some scrolls of it.


I think he is getting it by using the Samsaran racial ability to know spells from past lives.

CDL: I feel like the new guy here, so if others are cool with it, I'm up for one more. I think that would have to be the max though.

Pirate: It is funny how those stories tie in to some other ideas I had. I think you and I must have very similar likes.


So my character is A LOT more done so if you want to look him up you will get a better idea of what he can do :)

Despite having mediocre int and wis AND looking like that, he has this simple and honest charm about him that makes people drop their guard around him. Kind of a really big, innocent and childish demeanor that let's him get away with a lot more then he otherwise would :)

So here is a list of effects regarding my character.
Deadly Strength: You may not chose to deal nonlethal damage. Attacks you make with weapons that cause nonlethal damage, including unarmed strikes, must be made to deal lethal damage instead. If you touch a creature or object, willing or not, you must also make an unarmed attack roll against them.
In game terms this has the following effects.
Your footprints crack the ground and sink deep. You take a -10 stealth penalty while walking and reduces the DC to track you by 10. There may also be other repercussions like breaking floors and pissing off the locals.
Whenever I touch someone I must make an unarmed strike against them. This only applies when I touch them, not when they touch me so a bird landing on my shoulder would be fine but if I tried to hold it, it would not. This applies to mounts as well.
Whenever I touch an object I must make an unarmed strike against it.This does not apply against cloth (so I can wear clothes: P). As such I will need to make judicious use of adamintine items and can have them crafted for 1,500gp per lb (weightless items cost 750gp per lb). Yet even that might not be enough :)
Any held or worn items gain the broken condition and any held items have their hardness reduced by 15 (wreaker curse).
The GM reserves the right to use this Flaw to cause havoc or setbacks :D

How do those sound? Good so far?


Grand Moff Vixen wrote:
Isn't mass heal a cleric only spell? I only remember this as I was buying some scrolls of it.

The big staple of the Samsaran race is their Mystic Past Life racial ability. It lets them pick a certain number of spells from another spell list and add them to their own. The only conditions are that these spells must be from the same type (divine/arcane) of spells list (a druid pulling from the cleric list or a sorcerer grabbing bard spells) and that you can only select one other class spell list (an wizard Samsaran could not grab spells from both the bard and the witch list).

@tumbler: Awesome. Yeah, I only asked because it looked like there would be enough room for one more person, and my old character was looking to be the main divinist in the last thread. Considering the concern that has been expressed due a lack of healers, I figured it would not hurt to ask.

Speaking of which, I am going to try and do something different with Nagato. She will be a (GASP!) caster druid! I figure that we are at a high enough level when a domain is a highly viable alternative to an animal companion. That and we have so many melee juggernaunts in the party that melee!Nagato would be highly redundant.


I dunno, we seem to be pretty caster heavy, I thought. But I've got nothing against building any character you wish, as long as it's game legal.


aceDiamond wrote:
I dunno, we seem to be pretty caster heavy, I thought. But I've got nothing against building any character you wish, as long as it's game legal.

Huh. Just reread the character roster. It seems that you are correct. I forgot that dragons are also casters too.


Not that we're trying to push you in one direction or another, just saying that it's not like we're full up on martials.


Cosmic Dream Lord wrote:
Grand Moff Vixen wrote:
Isn't mass heal a cleric only spell? I only remember this as I was buying some scrolls of it.
The big staple of the Samsaran race is their Mystic Past Life racial ability. It lets them pick a certain number of spells from another spell list and add them to their own. The only conditions are that these spells must be from the same type (divine/arcane) of spells list (a druid pulling from the cleric list or a sorcerer grabbing bard spells) and that you can only select one other class spell list (an wizard Samsaran could not grab spells from both the bard and the witch list).

Awesome! I just looked it up. Nifty racial trait isn't it?


Who needs martial characters when we can summon small armies?

Immortality quest, plane hopping, universe saving. I'm thinking lots of casting is going to be very important.

@wrecker Ralph I have offered to provide a tailored piece of demiplane. The cost is $22500 for 380 10' cubes (38000 square feet, 10' ceiling, a walgreens averages 14000 square feet, but a higher ceiling).

You've certainly put together a pretty interesting in your face melee combatant.

And here's the critique on your sheet. Please correct me where I miss something or don't understand. I have noticed a few minor issues and some larger issues.

Regarding your character. How do you see your character as viably having survived 25 levels of adventuring? My grandmother could hit you. My four year old could do it when your raging. Anyone with ranged attacks and flight would wear away your prodigious hit points. For instance, how did you manage to read the tomes and manuals to boost your strength and con? I also noted that your ranged attack pretty much doesn't exist. While you have some additional defences against casters, an invisible caster flying 50' over your head is effectively immune to you and can still rain down the hurt on you.

Broken items are a -2 to hit and damage. I don't see the hit modifier. Interesting that most broken magical items continue to work without impairment.

the rage power superstition only gives a +7 to saves against spells, you have +13 listed. I count 11 rage powers, but a 20th level barbarian only gets 10.

If an oracle curse can't be removed by anything less than deity, can an Ex effect remove the penalty of the curse? Your penalty is broken items, battle scavenger removes that penalty, and in fact provides a bonus instead of a penalty.

I count 15 feats. 1 human, 13 from levels, where's the other one coming from?.

You are missing skills. You should have 100 ranks, only 50 are accounted for.

Regarding magic items. If you are working your background in with other characters that have crafting feats, the previous GM had allowed that characters that did not take crafting would still benefit at 75% of retail, you appear to be taking items at full crafter cost without a means of crafting. You have two headbands that you combined, the combination should only be a 50% increase on the lower costing items. The cost for your headbands should be 36,000 + (8,000x1.5=12,000) =48,000x.75 for friendly casters = 36,000 for your headband of Alluring Havoc. You need to reprice your other items similarly.

Tomes and manuals are NOT crafted at 50% of retail. Crafting saves 6250 gold on a +5 tome. A friendly crafter would only save you $1562.50.

IIRC, It was determined that all characters were either good or lawful, and could not be evil. I'm not sure how you would be able to wear a Darkskull as a good creature, or how the other players would like having unhallow if they stood next to you.

I don't see the cost noted for the permanent greater magic fangs, price is $15,000 and doesn't get an additional crafter discount.


@aceDiamond: I think I misread a few things on the first page. Well, that matters little. If anything, I might be able to make a truly viable caster-melee druid at this level.

@GMV: Indeed! I have always wanted to play one.


Fnord, you do bring up a couple of good points. But Gobo did say he's not entirely done, so we do have the benefit of correcting these things before everything gets real.

As for the superstition rage power, the human favored class bonus gives +1/3 bonus to saves for that (as well as +1/2 to trap sense, but Breakers don't get that so...), which would give an extra +6 to his relevant saves. It doesn't say how the FCBs are arranged on his page, so I'm going to currenty assume that's what he spent them on.


Yar!

Well, I wouldn't say we are really caster heavy or martial heavy at the moment, really. Sir Orrin and Ralph are on the martial side, Jacob and Validk are on the caster side, and Katja is a mix of both (on the simple account of being a dragon, though in play I'm guessing will probably lean towards the caster side)... so really we have a fairly good balance between. I say, bring on the Samsaran Druid! :D

I only just woke up, so I haven't had time to do the "Sir Orrin talks about traveling through the Void" writeup for ace yet (sorry) or read through Ralph's sheet, but as I get on that, I do have one fluff related question:

Who all would have ended up going on the "trip to Hell" mission? Just a curiosity thing really, plus it would be good to know who Sir Orrin saw when he turned around during the break in action.

I also know exactly what would motivate Sir Orrin for an immortality quest. It's something he'd probably go to some of your character to ask about too, though if we're going to start with an explosive "save the world from a spawn-agug" combat, maybe I'll save the asking (if I survive) for in game?

the reason:
At some point between getting lost in the Void and his rescue in Hell, he met his patron god in person, Chaldira Zuzaristan, and they had a fling of sorts. She told him that "if you touch me as a mortal, you will be destroyed... and dying simply will not do! But there are ways to immortality. Seek them out, and ascent heroically to my side!" ...that's right, it's a quest for Love. :p

*ponders*

~P


Thanks for the critique! I'll answer your questions :)

The AC issue is one that I am seriously mulling over in my head :( Broken armor reduces its AC by half, so even real good armor provides significantly less benefit. Now I haven't included any armor boosting items yet but even after I include them my AC will be abysmal. I am thinking I will have to take a +8 bracers of armor and drop reckless abandon to make it viable... any ideas you could throw me?

As for fluff wise, I haven't really figured that one out yet but I imagine it would include prostigious help from big bro ,')

Reading tomes is an non-issue, I still have 10 int so can read common just fine (unless I need read magic to be able to read it? Then I can take it as an oracle orison)

I have no idea how I am going to deal with hard to reach enemies, I don't have any ranged capabilities yet and the only thing I can think of is to build another +5 hardened impervious weapon that I can throw and take the two-handed hurler feat or add it to my existing weapon. The problem with that is that it is already brutally expensive and I am thinking that I really should add rapid repair at will to it (+90,000) because even with its 36 hardness I will still be doing damage to it when I pick it up :p

I included the penalty for broken weapons/armor in the stats, right after power attack and armor respectively. Looks like I did miss the attack penalty :p Good catch! I'll add it in.

Superstition gets +2 at the start and +1 every 4 levels, 7 total. Human favored class bonus gets +1 every 4 levels for another +5 and the couragious enchant adds 2 more, so it should be +14 :p
I also am going to get the headband of havoc, increasing one rage power by 4, but I am not sure which one yet.
As for number of feats and rage powers, I am still mucking around with that, so those are not final. Same with skills.

As for circumventing the oracles curse, it is no different then taking the lame curse an being a barbarian for the fast movement. As for my curse, I still take -2 to hit and reduce my armor by half so it is still affecting me negativly even at level 25. I am also making use of the broken condition to make battlefield scavenger effective but I still am affected by the curse.

2 things regarding items, I haven't priced any of them out except for my weapon, the Giant Rod, so all the pricing numbers are off as they were there from a previous character. I also have to factor in crafting prices from big bro still :)
Secondly, not all of those items are ones that I am taking (the darkskull for instance). Ones that are directly below their headers are ones that I am taking (like the juggernauts paldrons) and ones with a gap (like the saddle and the darkskull) are holdovers that I still need to get rid of.

Thanks for the input!


Gobo, are you sure we're thinking of the same Rapid Repair? Because the one I'm looking at only gives fast healing to constructs, not items.


Intelligent Items wrote:
Intelligent items can actually be considered creatures because they have Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores. Treat them as constructs. Intelligent items often have the ability to illuminate their surroundings at will (as magic weapons do); many cannot see otherwise.

Ya, intelligent items become constructs so it would work with rapid repair, but not any other items like I had first hoped. Still, judicious use of the hardening spell should cover everything else!


How would everyone like to work in how they know Katja? I think that is how I want to continue to fill in her background, and that is to think up some adventures that she would have been on in the past with everyone else.


Well, I'd be alright with sharing some history with Katja if you're alright with it. I like the idea of Jacob knowing she's really a dragon.


No. I refuse to let anyone know. She is secretive and would kill you if you found out. :p
Seriously, I don't think I have any issues with Jacob knowing she is a dragon. Sharing some history is fine too. Although you are just a young whippersnapper to her.:)


At last! The Artifact known as The Giant Rod is complete!
Behold!

Giant Rod
Large +5 Furiously Courageous, Construct Bane Piston Maul
Made of Impervious Adamantine

212,245gp, 14 ego
__2d8__20/x2__70lb__B__+4 Damage when Sundering
Hardness 38(46), Hps 127(167)
Fort 13 Ref 13 Will 13
Immune to rusting and warping, +10 CMD against sunder, +4 against ongoing conditions, +5 moral bonus against fear, increase all other moral bonuses by 2, +2 enhancement bonus while raging and +2 enhancement bonus against constructs, +5(7) Enhancement bonus to jump checks, +2d6 damage against Constructs.


Large Piston Maul: 140
+8 Enchantment: 128,000
Impervious: 3,000
Adamantine: 3,000
Hollow Pommel: 5

Intelligent Item: 500
Alignment: N
Senses: Empathy
60ft senses
Mage Hand At Will: 1,000 +1 ego
Mending At Will: 1,000 +1 ego
Make Whole 1/day: 2,400 +1 ego
Special Purpose: +2 ego (Destroy things, especially Constructs. Not Fricken break!)
Rapid Repair At Will: 90,000 +2 ego
Base Item Value: +8 ego
Permanencied Resistance: +2,500
Hardening: +1,200 (CL 20)
Total: 212,245gp, 14 ego

The Giant Rod is just that, an eight foot pole, seven inches in diameter and made of the hardest substance in the known world, Adamantine. Forged specifically for Ralph, for no other weapon would do. Created by the combined efforts of Jacob Radigan and the Archemagi Fezzwick, they forged the Giant Rod on an entirely different planet, one as close to the sun as possible, as that was the only way to get heat hot enough to work the Starmetal. First Fezzwick created 9 exact duplicates then he proceeded to teleport each one into the original, one after another. The result was quite possibly the hardest substance known to man as each one fused with the other on a molecular level. Lastly Jacob infused a bit of himself into the Rod, a simple whisper. Protect Ralph.

Over time that whisper grew into a semblance of sentience and started developing powers of its own. First it became aware of its surroundings and capable of whispering to Ralph. Next came an addiction, it started craving the rush of power from the thunderstones and would seek to constantly keep itself powered by them, levitating and inserting the stones of its own accord, stealing them from the surroundings if it had to. Later it came to enjoy the resounding crash and the feeling of metal giving way to its superior construction and came to quite enjoy the destruction of other constructs, and indeed any objects around it, and dedicated itself to their destruction.
Lately Ralph has gotten stronger and even the mighty resiliency of the Giant Rod is being tested and overcome with cracks and fractures appearing wherever Ralph held it. Frustrated by this and fearful of becoming destroyed itself at the hands of its master, the Giant Rod has diverted all its focus on finding ways to survive its masters touch. Finally it managed to at least succeed in slowing down its destruction by a form of molecular regeneration but it has yet to actually become immune to the terrible energies emanating from Ralph.

Quite literally a large metal bar, the Giant Rod has 2 compartments, 1 in each end, one is little more than a divot and holds a single thunderstone, powering the artifact with a concussive force and amplifying its damage. The second is a small chamber used to hold a reserve of 5 thunderstones.

What do you guys think ^-^
BTW, once the price gets reduced by 25% from having Jacob craft it, it will fall below the 200,000gp limit for a single item :)


I just realized, Jumping is based off of Dex, not Str like it used to be in 3.5.... WTF?
I dont care how dextrous you are, if you got 5 str you cant jump very high!


Yar!

GMV: I'd love for Katja and Sir Orrin to have shared in some past adventures. Did none of my current exploits appeal to you? Not just the two high level adventures above (magnimar cult and/or the journey to baator), but any of the other ideas in Sir Orrin's backstory I've already posted in the original recruitment thread (HERE) which are also listed in Sir Orrin's background on his sheet (that is: any missions performed in Andoran by the Eagle Knights, Defending the people of Lastwall, Fighting demons at the Worldwound, or the discovering of the ancient city of aberrations near Orv below the town of Sandpoint)? I'm open to additional adventures as well, if none of those appeal to anyone, but those events are critical to the development of Sir Orrin into what he is now, so I'm not going to remove them from my backstory, and any other adventures he's gone on with you guys that are not one of those will be in addition to those. (I'm not saying you have to choose from my past adventures. I am happy to go on more/other adventures as well, and I look forwards to the ideas you guys come up with).

Gobo: The original single item GP limit we set when we were first figuring out character creation rules was 250,000gp item market value. You are still below that with your Giant Rod, and being based on market value means what you paid for it via crafting doesn't make a difference (you're still below 250k), so no worries mate! ...I was about to give objection to it's special purpose being in direct conflict./opposition to all of it's powers (particularly it's special purpose power, which normally only gets used by the item of it's own will and only while actively pursuing/performing it's special purpose), but then I reread your fluff/history of it, and I see you worked in a work-around to that. ^_^

The dex to jump instead of str is an anomaly created by the merging of the jump and tumble skills of 3.x into "acrobatics" of pathfinder. You also don't see many strongmen doing well in high jump or long jump competitions, though no super flexible twigs either. It's really more of a combination of limber strength and technique, which I'm guessing the dev team figured would be best described with dex instead of one or the other or just str, especially as all the other uses of acrobatics were being combined into the same skill with only one stat to modify it. It seemed to make it through both the alpha and beta playtests as well. *shrugs*

tumbler: a quick question. Currently I have a small modification to my military saddle and I'm thinking of putting it on my armor as well. It is something that (I think) is implied to exist from the Banner ability descriptions of the Cavalier and Samurai ("The banner must be at least Small or larger and must be carried or displayed by the cavalier or his mount to function") combined with every description of magical banners needing to be attached to a pole, lance, or polearm to function, and is something that actually exists in real life, but there seems to be no Pathfinder equivalent. The closest thing I could find in the Pathfinder rules is a Shield Sconce. Basically I'm going for a holster for my lance in the style of the uked-zutsu/sashimono holders of Japan, so that in the few rare instances where Sir Orrin would not be using his Lance, he would put it into this, allowing it to remain upright and allowing the banner attached to it to continue to function. Is this permissible? If so, how much should I pay for the modification? 1 gp like the shield sconce? More?

EDIT: and if not, could I have a regular uked-zutsu for a cost, so it will only hold a pole rather than a lance? (in which case I will transfer Sir Orrin's banner form his Lance to a pole and have it always on my back or on Carolinus...though my preference is for it to be on my lance, and have someplace to put the lance when not in use but still keeping my banner bonuses up, obviously)

~P


This might seem odd, but couldn't you just stick the pole end of the banner into a scabbard like you'd keep on your back? I'm not familiar with what you're referring to, so maybe we're talking about the same thing, but this is just how I see it.


Yar!

I'm hoping to keep the banner on my lance. Does a lance come with a scabbard? Does any polearm for that matter? I always thought they were simply carried all the time or held on a (not very portable) rack.

Sashimono are Japanese banners.

Uked-zutsu were like scabbards, kinda, but specifically designed to hold Sashimono poles, sometimes with a Gattari for extra support (uked-zutsu near the waistline on the back of the chest piece and the gattari near the shoulders).

So yes, it's like a scabbard, but designed specifically for poles/banners. Most back scabbards are held in place partially by the weight of the blade inside it (with most of the blade mass being inside the scabbard). This would allow most of what's in it to be outside of it, held upright so all could see the banner. And I'm hoping to have it modified slightly to be able to hold a polearm (lance) as well/instead of a pole (or in the case of a scabbard, instead of a blade).

~P


Pirate, I did read through some of your adventures and had not decided on how to incorporate Katja into them yet. I put the question out for everyone to see so we could think up ideas. I am going to craft some experiences that would go along in the times she has spent wandering the planes and how she came in contact with each party member.


Yar!

Cool. I simply wasn't sure as only ace and validk said anything about it so far. Sir Orrin was in the Absalom area (Andoran specifically, so just north of the isle) about 15-20 years ago, near the beginning of his adventuring career. Not sure if a mighty dragon in disguise would have cared about an up-and-coming halfling cavalier of the Eagle Knights, but if so (and assuming Katja was in Absalom at that time), there is plenty of opportunity there. I'm also really exited to see what potential hooks you come up with and working those in! :D

I'm definitely curious about The Rose, and how (if) we may have worked together with the Bellflower Network to aid the halfling slaves of Cheliax. ^_^

Also, I'm really tempted to do something horrible: a last minute build change. I'm contemplating removing 1 level of Ranger (skirmisher) and adding one level of Fighter (dragoon) near the beginning of my build (probably level 1). This means I would lose: 4 skill points (probably take them from Handle Animal), 1 point of my Will save, my favored terrain (plains), and the Endurance feat (which doesn't really benefit me much anyways). What I would gain is: +2 to Fort saves, the Risky Striker feat (+14 to base damage per hit but only against large and larger foes, for a -1 penalty to AC), and a bonus feat (thinking about Dodge). Everything else stays essentially the same, though the order that I gained my feats would take a slight rearrangement. What do you guys think about that?

~P


I broke this into 2 sections for better replies.

Pirate wrote:

Yar!

Cool. I simply wasn't sure as only ace and validk said anything about it so far. Sir Orrin was in the Absalom area (Andoran specifically, so just north of the isle) about 15-20 years ago, near the beginning of his adventuring career. Not sure if a mighty dragon in disguise would have cared about an up-and-coming halfling cavalier of the Eagle Knights, but if so (and assuming Katja was in Absalom at that time), there is plenty of opportunity there. I'm also really exited to see what potential hooks you come up with and working those in! :D

I'm definitely curious about The Rose, and how (if) we may have worked together with the Bellflower Network to aid the halfling slaves of Cheliax. ^_^

Well, of course she would care. She is very loving towards the lesser (no offense to them of course) races and part of her background (and The Rose) as part of her generosity. If you were honorable she would have helped you in any endeavor you happened to be undertaking at the time. As for Absalom, she definitely gets around so she probably would have encountered you as she was following the trail of a well known slaver organization. I will begin a writeup on this.

Pirate wrote:

Yar!

Also, I'm really tempted to do something horrible: a last minute build change. I'm contemplating removing 1 level of Ranger (skirmisher) and adding one level of Fighter (dragoon) near the beginning of my build (probably level 1). This means I would lose: 4 skill points (probably take them from Handle Animal), 1 point of my Will save, my favored terrain (plains), and the Endurance feat (which doesn't really benefit me much anyways). What I would gain is: +2 to Fort saves, the Risky Striker feat (+14 to base damage per hit but only against large and larger foes, for a -1 penalty to AC), and a bonus feat (thinking about Dodge). Everything else stays essentially the same, though the order that I gained my feats would take a slight rearrangement. What do you guys think about that?
~P

I am cool with this. Just don't punch Katja please. :P

aceDiamond wrote:
Well, I'd be alright with sharing some history with Katja if you're alright with it. I like the idea of Jacob knowing she's really a dragon.

I am beginning a write up of an encounter that Jacob and Katja would have met. I have not thought up anything yet but am looking at material that will spark my creativity. Should you come up with any ideas I would be more than interested to hear some.


I don't see stats for Giant Rod, I take it the Int, Wis, Cha are all 10's?

Pirate, I think you're talking about a tuleja, which was a lance rest used to hold the butt of the lance before battle.

From what I could find on the uked-zutsu, it was on the back of the body armor, and didn't look like it could be placed by the holder.

I reread the entry on the lord's banner, and it doesn't specifically state that it must be wielded, but does give an option for it to be planted.


Yar!

(heh, alias mixup had me double take your post... all better now I see ^_^)

Kinda sorta yeah. I never actually heard of a Teluja until now. Hurray for learning! But yeah, a Teluja with Carolinus and/or a modified uked-zutsu for me, for the very few rare moments when I'd be fighting with my Sunblade instead of my lance.

And it's also because of the Banner class ability of Cavaliers, the Champion power (from Knights of Golarion), and the Lord's powers that you already know. So I must obey the following in order to for all it's powers to work: " ... carried or displayed by the cavalier or his mount to function", "It has no effect when not mounted properly or when laying on the ground" and "It has no effect unless it is mounted properly and a wielder is carrying the object bearing it."

The 17 different effects in a radius around Sir Orrin listed int he "Boons to Allies/Banes to Enemies" section of my sheet are all coming from my banner (both the item itself and my class abilities based on having a banner). That's a lot of buffs, not just for us, but all of our summons as well, reliant on me being able to keep by Banner up. Anything I can do to ensure that, I want to do. ^_^

EDIT: so the question I guess would be, would something like the Teluja (standard far for lance using Hussars) and/or an uked-zutsu (standard fare for banner using samurai) be part of the standard costs of a lance and banner (like a scabbard would be for a long sword), or something extra?

~P


Pirate: 1gp seems reasonable to add it to your armor.

I'm not sure what effect having a giant pole sticking out of your back would have IRL, but I think there is nothing about it in the rules.

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