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I have a friend who has wanted to play D&D for a while but her schedule wouldn't allow it. Well, her schedule is a bit better now and she's playing for her first time tomorrow night. She wants to play a half-elf barbarian, but is a bit overwhelmed at the choices beyond that. I'm determined to give as little advice as possible because I want her to figure out her favorite way to play, and I tend to be a bit of a min-maxer at times.
What advice can you give for her for stat allocation, feats, skills, gear, etc, that I can pass on?
thanks in advance.
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If she feels overwhelmed dont hold back on advice, just hold back on decisions.
Explain to her the general idea behind the barbarian and half elves, ask her what kind of 'barbarian esq' things she would like to do. Often times a concept might be better fufilled by another class and the player isnt aware of it because the name of the class is associated with a certain concept in their head. Basically, dont start with stats and feats and such, find out what she wants her character to be able to do, then start making the character.
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1st off u should have her read the combat section. Other than that i would help her understand what each stat does for her character, what combat feat are traps, and get an overall view of what she wants to achieve as a character concept. An example is one of my players wanted to play a desperado of sorts that relies on his gun but if things come up close he can still hold his own. I suggest a switch hitter of sorts Ranger that uses a Pistol for range and Brass Knuckles for melee since he found them cool.
Perhaps this is sexist, but I prefer to give less character-build advice to a woman than I would a man. I believe that many will men will tend to give too much advice to a woman, bordering on trying to create the character for them. This is a detractor for new female players in a hobby that still male-dominated (although its better than it used to be). If she asks for advice though, then go for it.
On the issue of her being a first time player, I would tell her up front that you will allow character changes in between the first few sessions, if you are the GM.
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If she feels overwhelmed dont hold back on advice, just hold back on decisions.
I couldn't agree more with this statement. She probably has no idea of what different options she has available. One of the best things that you can do is just talk to her about the game, some different builds and ideas, and then just see where she wants to take it.
I remember building characters with my brother when I was young, and a new player, and we would just talk about what I wanted to do forever. Then he'd say something like, "you know what I think would be really cool..." I didn't have to take his idea, but it sometimes spurred another one. Also, she doesn't have to build the "best" barbarian, or "best" anything for that matter. If she wants her barbarian to have a high Int or a Cha 16...who cares? As long as she has fun with it!
Hope she has a good time! :) ...and don't stress yourself out too much!
Well, what I'd do is ask what kind of character she wants to play, then find the best mechanics for it and point it out to her, along with a nice variety of possible options.
Don't make the build for her, but show her different ways to create her PC, briefly explaining how each option affects her character.
e.g.: If she says she want to be a Berseker with a huge hammer, show her some mechanics that are reasonably effective and not too complicated.
Does she want to increase damage as much as possible? Or does she want some balance between offense and defense? Would she like to use her hammer to break the enemies weapons? Does she like the idea of a mage-hunter? What does she see her character doing out of combat?
When she asks for advice, give her, but don't make decisions for her. Show some options, explain what they do and let her decide. If she asks you what you'd choose, give her a honest answer and explain your reasoning, but don't say that's best possible choice, just that it's the one you like most.
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A thing I found to be very helpful is to offer the possibility to rebuild the character after some sessions. It might spur some hiccups in the story ("Why can't the character go into rage from now on?"), but it can greatly reduce frustration.
I had the exact thing Kolokotroni described - my player was set on playing a druid, refusing to play anything else and build a quite decent druid. Thing is, the druid wasn't what she wanted at all - she wanted to play a ranger and just didn't know it yet. (The German translation for ranger is something along the lines of "forest walker" or "forest runner", so she might have thought that those guys are mere hunters or travellers.)
So by saying "Okay, try this out, but do not hesitate to tell me if the character doesn't turn out the way you hoped he would so we can find a solution" I greatly reduced her frustration factor - as a new player it's important to have the ability to try something out without screwing him/herself with a (in his/her mind) boring character he/she is forever stuck with.
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I think that regardless of the person's sex, they will have significantly higher buy-in if they take ownership of their character. This means that they have been involved in every part of its creation.
I see that a lot of guys are trying so hard not to marginalize female players, that they end up treating them quite differently than they would male players. There are a ton of great ways to teach a new player about the game, to talk about the game, without marginalizing them, male or female.
There is some really good advice here. As a female gamer, I would just add, don't be so afraid of coming off as sexist, that you in fact do come off as sexist. Treat her like the friend that she is and you should be fine.
Hand her a character, and then talk. A lot.
Play a session, then talk some more.
You will get there, but don't get there in one step, it's too fast.