So do I write / and color the runes – Stanza 158 of the Ljóðatal
Welcome all to the joint discussion thread for the twin Reign of Winter campaigns that I plan to run. I have read through the first adventure and am excited by the potential and eager to get things underway… but before then, I shall repeat our groups and give a little insight as to hows and whys:
The sluagh sídhe (fairy host)… and those that fear them:
- Hilde Alfborne - MPCampell - Paladin - Half-Fey
- Bastagar Swiftthicket - Twigs - Rogue – Gnome
- Cearb - Meowzebub - Rogue(knife master) – Gnome
- Markus Septimus Hape - SurplusRaine - Wizard - Human(Chelaxian)
- Kelgar Frostbeard - wakedown - Inquisitor(Witchhunter) - Dwarf
- Olaf Erikson - Luke_Perry - Bard(Savage Skald) - Human(Ulfen)
As I was reading through the applications I noticed the fey backgrounds of the top three and as I started rolling them over in my head it solidified into a way to colour the campaign for such a group. The seelie and unseelie nature of the fey, the way that Jim Butcher makes the summer and winter fey differ, and the roots in Slavic and Irish mythology. So that gave me a core of three: the half-fey princess, and two minor fey that could be bent to her ballad.
I knew that I wanted the Halfhand in one of the groups… and when the response to a question was More than anything, the Fey are what keep Markus up at night. They are the creatures that haunt his dreams, the fuel of his paranoia. I smirked maliciously.
Olaf was an instant fit when I read Olaf is fascinated by the heroes of the Old Sagas – and compared that to Hilde’s backstory… who just so happens to have a saga written about her. So despite Olaf’s distrust and dislike of fey, he has a reason to want to travel with Hilde from a skaldic perspective. Plus he provides an Ulfen outlook within the group.
Lastly wakedown’s grumbly Dwarven Inquisitor… I couldn’t stop a smile coming to my face thinking about the poor Dwarf shuffling to keep up with the Gnomes while shaking his head and quoting Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon.
So that is group one – half fey, and half of this world.
The Taighean Dubha (Black House):
- Skäne Ingvârssonn - Black Dow - Fighter(Viking)
- Elghund - Shifty - Ranger - Orc
- Rikka - stormraven - Sorcerer(tattooed - Draconic Bloodline) - Human(Ulfen)
- Klò Björninnsson - Eben theQuiet - Druid(Bear Shaman) - Human(Ulfen)
- Halla Ingendatter - Joana - Oracle(Possessed) - Human(Ulfen)
- Annalisa - Twilightrose - Barbarian - Human(Ulfen)
Given that I’d gone with a fey build in the other group, I knew that I wanted this one to be Northman heavy. There is less of an evolutionary story to the selection though – as I instead went down the list and segmented off the applications that I thought were good representations of Ulfen values and seemed to get the spirit best. The group is dour, it’s light on healing, it’s grim and it’s quick to anger – sounds perfect nei?
I’ll be back in later with some steer on finalization and background information for Heldren now that I’ve got the AP. I’ll also be working on the customized grab bags for those of you that graced me with some verse – they will each be different and be woven through your own backgrounds as well.
Other than that – thankyou and welcome!
Wow!
Honored and humbled by the selection. Absolutely thrilled by the vibe of our group.
Two words... TWO GNOMES!
(Yes, I am quite fond of gnome-kind and very excited to be playing alongside both Meowzebub and Twig's creations)
I am so very pleased to be one of the chosen, thanks for the opportunity to play in your campaign. I look forward to it immensely. It's about 2 AM here and I'll be headed to bed shortly. Tomorrow, I'll work on getting Annalisa's profile built and finalizing her character sheet. Thanks again!
Ohoho, so cruel. Loving the dynamic, loving the enthusiasm. I almost feel like dancing in celebration. In fact, I think I will.
I'm looking forward to playing with all you fine folks. I'm especially glad I have a chance to play alongside my good friend Twigs, as we're invariably on opposite sides of the GM screen.
I've been excited for this AP ever since I first read about it, so I'm thrilled I get to be a part of it this early on. Can't wait to see what surprises both you and the module writers have in store!
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Thrilled to bits!
Now we need to get our mechanics up and running...
Are you going to let us know what 'stuff' we qualified for, or what to do to qualify for more if we had a shortfall? :p
As far as qualifying for stuff - I'll do a spit check later, but just assume you qualified for everything that you attempted to. If you want to bolster up your app by throwing in more detail to meet more of the markers then also feel free.
Once we've had a full 12 check in then I'll run through the lay of the land and start talking early motivations for the actual AP itself.
The Ulfen group will be easier to motivate... while the fey one might need a few nudges to get it rolling ;)
Fantastic! Thank you so much, sir!
Love our group, and I'm so excited to keep writing and perfecting my character, to play with everybody. I'm glad I can finally let loose now that my foot is in the door without feeling like I'm building myself up to disappointment. I am keen to get started any time.
I was hoping to work out some ties to the others, even it was just a minor conflict that gets our group together, such as relieving a fellow PC of one of a prized drinking mug or horn.
I'm also curious how Caerb would react to a fellow gnome in such an advanced state of the Bleaching. Gnomes of Golarion says that Gnomekind often shun their bleached cousins, seeing as they have, in some part, brought their fate upon themselves by losing their drive and passion. What would Caerb's stance be? I'm hoping to challenge myself and be creepy and outlandish even to HIM.
I've also still got a story to write if I want to qualify for Invoke The Vaetirr. I hadn't realised that and the verse were seperate until the other day, and I haven't had a chance to sit down and write! Aside from that I should have everything done (barring my weapon choice. I'm still totally undecided on that.)
I am really quite chuffed about this :-)
I will get to work putting together Olaf's updated profile ASAP :-D
You certainly have my axe ;-)
The Ulfen group will be easier to motivate... while the fey one might need a few nudges to get it rolling ;)
I suspect this group could be rather grim and nasty.
Excellent!
I will finish her Lay tonight and fix a small problem with her character sheet.
Hey! Thanks so much for the opportunity, VoV. I'm getting stoked.
I'll do my best to get a profile up today or tomorrow. I can definitely be working through any motivation questions necessary to move things forward in the meantime.
Again. Thanks. So excited. :)
Outstanding! I'll build Rikka's character sheet, etc. today. I'm looking forward to playing with you fine folks.
The Ulfen group will be easier to motivate... while the fey one might need a few nudges to get it rolling ;)I suspect this group could be rather grim and nasty.
Excellent!
Did I hear those magic words heh... grimmr und óþokkuligr :)
Glad to be aboard this langship Jarl O' The Voiceless - some damn good candidates - looking forward to making some red reputations with my fellow Black Housemates!
PS - Congrats Meowz for nailing a spot in the Sidhe.
Map Legend:
- 1. Armory - 30ft tower where the defence of the town is staged from when needed.
- 2. Isker's Smithy - run by Isker Euphram and his daughter Xanthippe.
- 3. General Store - run by Vivialla Steranus.
- 4. Town Hall - caretaken by Orillus Davigen, an elderly gent.
- 5. Willowbark Apothecary - tended by Tessaraea Willowback, an elf.
- 6. Barber - run by a dwarf Argus Goldtooth, who doubles as a dentist and leechery.
- 7. The Silver Stoat - only tavern in town. Husband and wife Menander and Kale Garimos run it
- 8. Livery Stable - run by Sophia Imirras.
- 9. Town Square - with a large statue of a beautiful woman in the center.
- 10. Ionnia Teppen's House - leader of the town council.
- 11. Temple of Erastil - tended by Elder Natharen Safander and his wife Zaarida.
- 12. Carpenter - operated by Tengezil Frimbocket
- 13. Heldren Sawmill - operated by Alexius Demetri and Lycio Vallant.
- 14. The Butcher of Jalrune - a butchery operated by Perkin Tarimm.
- 15. Old Mother Theodora's - resident wisewoman and midwife.
Like in most peasant communities in southern Land of the Linnorm Kings, the People of Heldren mostly keep to themselves. Far from the cities and places of politic and ever-watchful for Issirien aggression, Heldren goes on as it always has, as a relatively small and unimportant hamlet of farmers, herders, and woodcutters.
I've not had the chance to run over the names and add a bit more Norse / Scots / Oirish class to them, but that gives you an idea of potential townspeople that you may have already encountered.
And welcome, welcome all - hopefully I can come somewhere close to your expectations for the AP :)
Thanks Mark for the pick and thanks BD. There are some powerhouse players in the Ulfen group, which sets the bar high for us on the wild side.
Cearb's sheet is basically finished except possessions, but apart from his knives he probably doesn't have many. Might think about switching out one trait, too.
As to Bastagar, I am not sure Cearb would know what to think of you. Coming from Nethveil, he has no concept out a life without new discoveries. He wouldn't be prejudiced against you, he would be more curious why you look the way you do.
Question, VoV. Given the strong norse flavor to the campaign, are there any preferred weapons or automatic racial weapons that we should favor?
Initially, I was thinking a handaxe for Rikka (based on the 'tale' in her backstory) would be fun. Little did I realise that a handaxe is considered a martial weapon (and out of my sorcerous league). An Ulfen (Viking) who can't handle a small axe seemed odd to me, but it is what it is.
Anyhow, any thoughts on appropriate weapons would be appreciated. I'm currently thinking a sorceress with a dagger and a long-bladed boar-spear might be worth a ballad or two. :)
I finished equipping Kelgar with his starting gear and also made some tweaks to his ability scores. Also, with just one Ulfen in our group, I've switched Kelgar to a Dwarven Waraxe (yes, burned his initial feat on MWP), since we need more axes to compete with that Ulfen group! :)
I'll be adding some creature comfort roleplay items to Kelgar's gear pilfered from his home - a knitted nightcap, a pair of slippers, a hairbrush, some arthritis medication, etc. :)
Mechanically, with the Halfhand in our group, I'm going to hope he picks up Comprehend Languages (or just knows a ton of them), so Kelgar dropped that spell in favor of Protection from Evil.
@DMVov: I'd love a PC background tie to that dwarven barber/dentist in Heldren. Perhaps Kelgar's brother-in-law or cousin through his wife? There will be beard-grooming a plenty, especially if the chairs are comfortable and there's a fire nearby.
Dotting. I haven't played with anyone in the Black House before so *waves*.
Mark, as I indicated when answering your questions, I'm totally unfamiliar with true names except for the very brief definition in UM before it rushes on to discuss how to use them to bind outsiders. Is there something I should have a look at on the subject? Or ought I to remain as ignorant as my PC for the sake of verisimilitude?
Amaryllis, I'm glad we'll have a chance to play together. ;)
Well, I had Annalisa pretty much done but when I saved the info Paizo decided that I was unworthy and did that weird thing where instead of saving it throws all your stuff away and redirects you to a promotional page instead. So, alas, most of her sheet is again blank and I have to do it again. I think I might step away from it for a little bit though, as I very nearly threw my laptop across the room when this occurred.
I normally do this as well, this certainly isn't the first time it's happened, but for whatever reason I just didn't think to do so this time!
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+ 1 on the lost profile as well - I've learned the hard way to write em up in word then import... saves burning precious rounds of PC Rage Powers...:)
Thanks for the kind words also Meowz - for the record thought your redcap was one of the coolest concepts I've seen this side of Muli ;)
Our of curiousity Valar of the Voiceless... are the two groups likely to come across each other or will they be in seperate games within the same AP?? Am curious if each groups actions could have a ripple effect on the other??
I digress... as a Ulfen Vikingr I care little for the affairs o' the sidhe und Valar of the Voiceless... and if you do not listen to me... then to Hel with you!
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:-)
For what its worth, I have Redcaps (and other fey) on the brain lately. I am writing a story (hopefully a novel), a small piece of which has Gnomes (or Nomen) serve as sentinels to the entrances of the Fairie Realm. A Redcap is a Nomen who kills their companion animal as a pact to the Unseelie Queen. You Skane, in particular, would appreciate that Bettony would not care to deal such a fate to Thistledown (although in the story he has become an large Arctic Hare) to become a Redcap.
Amaryllis, I'm glad we'll have a chance to play together. ;)
You watch your phraseology! ;)
So, Annalisa, why is your blonde Ulfen a brunette? That's one of the avatars I was looking at to portray Halla's conspicuous dark hair in a sea of blondes and redheads. ;P
Yeah, I'm not liking it either but I wanted to put something up for now. I'll be looking through them more intently later for a better match for how I see her. You're welcome to use it, I don't intend to keep it.
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There's never one that's exactly right. Try playing a gnome that doesn't look like Lini. :P
Or worse a male gnome. Both Bastagar (derro) and I (elf) had to settle on different species, although ironically, both work very well for our characters.
Indeed, one of my other characters, Bree Longfield should have a single long braid down her back but the closest picture that I felt matched the rest of her description shows her hair flowing behind her. Alana Wayworth's original appearance was something quite different, and was later altered in design to fit the icon I use for her as the one I wanted was a different picture of the same character used by another player and he was displeased that I chose it originally. This one for Annalisa now was mostly a matter of ease of use, once I finish her profile (again) I'll invest more time in finding a more suitable icon. Oh if only they would make life easier and allow us to incorporate our own icons.
What do we sidhe think of our party composition? We have a bard, a wizard AND a rogue, so I fear a lot of my tricks will already be covered. Though playing such a stealthy party is exciting in itself! We'll just have to adjust our tactics somewhat.
Initially, I was thinking a handaxe for Rikka (based on the 'tale' in her backstory) would be fun. Little did I realise that a handaxe is considered a martial weapon (and out of my sorcerous league). An Ulfen (Viking) who can't handle a small axe seemed odd to me, but it is what it is.
Anyhow, any thoughts on appropriate weapons would be appreciated. I'm currently thinking a sorceress with a dagger and a long-bladed boar-spear might be worth a ballad or two. :)
I'm having much the same trouble. At first I'd hoped for a club/walking stick/shillelagh, but I can't finesse one! I was thinking a handaxe next, but martial proficiency is too expensive. I'll be mostly making one handed sneak attacks rather than two-weapon-fighting, so I'm looking for something flavorful and effective. A rapier just doesnt seem to fit the setting, and a shortsword is perhaps too boring, however appropriate. I'm toying with the idea of a sickle, now.
Or worse a male gnome. Both Bastagar (derro) and I (elf) had to settle on different species, although ironically, both work very well for our characters.
Yeah, no kidding. (Good eye, by the way). I often have to change my characters description (or my submission outright) to find an avatar that suits him. I was fairly impressed weith Caerb's red cap, I'd never thought of using that avatar like that. There's also a fantastic avatar for halflings with a huge crooked nose and shifty, beady eyes that works great for gnomes, though I've yet to play one that suits it. (Or one at all, since about 5 years ago.)
Recently I've just gone straight to the avatar list til I found something that grabs me.
Rikka: the wiki has some general information on what sort of weaponry the Norse or Oirish or Scots used to wield in anger, though I'll not be enforcing any hard and fast rules.
On the topic of the handaxe - I don't see any harm in letting you have proficiency for that. Weapon proficiency costs are an interesting topic to me as the cost rarely equates with the benefit.
Kelgar: taking dwarven waraxe is fine - though no need to spend a feat on it. I'd suggest you drop one of the thin and flimsy weapons that Inquisitors are proficient with and swap dwarven waraxe in for it.
A tie to the barber is fine and dandy - let's say he's a cousin on your wife's side and you are in town either visiting or stocking up on one of his herbal remedies for the ravages of old age.
Joana: in the context of the question it was more indistinct wording on my part. I meant more their actual names, rather than something with an esoteric condition.
As to true-names, the basic idea is that by knowing your actual name as well as how it is said a spellcaster gains greater power over you and is able to affect you more easily. (ie. witch learns your name and you get a penalty to saves vs her evil eye, etc.)
I'm yet to decide if I'll tie it to a mechanical in-game effect... but it is something I'm considering.
Skane: the parties are unlikely to cross each other's path in game. Although it is a great idea in theory (and has a place in the latter parts of the AP) it falls down in practice when the groups will likely progress at slightly different paces, etc.
Twigs: I'll have a look and see if I can't rustle up a flavorful one handed bludgeon that's finesseable.
And the party composition is negative and positive. I purposefully cut down on the upfront muscle to force you to potentially play a bit differently than the Ulfen group who'll tend more to a direct and heavy handed approach.
On avatars - Mwangi are another sorely under-represented group.
Alright, I think she's ready for DM approval.
Olaf is essentially ready for review.
I don't suppose I could have Greataxe proficiency for free, in the same way Kelgar was able to get Waraxe proficiency? :-)
I was planning to spend my 1st level feat on it, otherwise, as I refuse to play a viking who can't use an axe :-/
Should be a 'regional weapon' sort of like how the Shoanti get earthbreakers :p
Kelgar: taking dwarven waraxe is fine - though no need to spend a feat on it. I'd suggest you drop one of the thin and flimsy weapons that Inquisitors are proficient with and swap dwarven waraxe in for it.
Not sure there's thin and flimsy weapons on the inquisitor's weapon list... I just see every crossbow and bow under the sun in addition to simple weapons.
Not sure about the waraxe proficiency. I know everyone gets to use a dwarven waraxe with two-hands as a martial weapon. I'm unsure if RAW that means a dwarf can use it 2H with their racial proficiency without a feat. To make things simple, I just picked up the feat so he could also use it 1H. So unsure if you're just suggesting by RAW he can use it 2H because he's a dwarf, or you're granting it's 1H use as well -- perhaps as a favored weapon of the "Dwarven Pantheon"? :)
If there were only a dwarven deity that granted it as a favored weapon, it would all be moot... I was sorely tempted by the dorn-dergar, but that feels more duergar than Kasgardian. :)
Shifty, you know, you play in all of my campaigns. That's kinda awesome.
Kelgar: my bad - just swap it out for the deity's favored weapon that you'd usually get and I'd be happy.
Olaf: now you can swap in the greataxe for one of the flimsy bard weapons :P
Motivations:
For the Ulfen party I'm going to essentially spin it as a predominately mercenary task - though I am aware that a few characters may need a bit more of a jolt. I'm going to get that nailed out later today and spoiler up some thoughts.
For the Fey group - here is my rough outline:
Hilde will be present in the town for a reason of her own making - and will respond to the call for aid (which will make sense IC when you see it). Olaf will go along curious of a few lines in a ancient skaldic verse that imply that great deeds will take place. Kelgar will be driven to go also based on the rumors around the events.
For Caerb I'm thinking that the motivation will be based on his remembrance of Hilde from Nithveil potentially? - or out of either a curiosity towards Hilde... or a debt that his redcap father owed Hilde's ancestors.
Bastagar I'm thinking whispers of the Lantern King will drive him to join them.
Halfhand is a little bit more troublesome... and one idea I have is heavy handed and cruel. Please let me know if you have any thoughts - otherwise I'll ponder on my idea and put it forward later once I've been able to consolidate it.
Looks good to me! Both the shillelagh and the motivation. I feel very spoiled. I've spun a short tale for my Invoke the Vaetirr feat, based heavily on a bbc.uk article on Scandanavian daily life.
The harvest had come, and the snows would soon follow after. The two worked tirelessly to fill the cart with great sheathes of wheat, rye and barley. The guardian stayed hidden among the corns. It would not touch their iron tools, but it too did its part, coaxing away the birds and wolves that would feed on their grains and flock, and by night away from watchful eyes, he tilled the fields anew. The humans had yet to notice him, curiously unobservant creatures that they were. None but the newborn had the second sight.. … and so it watched over them, as he had for many moons now, watching with envious eyes those that did not hear the Fairies songs.
The lamb still needed to be slaughtered, and the guardian watched as they stunned the animal and slit it’s throat, hanging it in the boughs of the great oak tree and spilling it’s lifeblood onto the grass. In time, they hoisted the animal off of its perch and carried it back to the storehouse. When they were long gone, the guardian slipped from its hiding place. It stood barely three feet from the ground, with the features of an old man, skin as gnarled and crooked as the now blood-red oak, and wiry white hair that stuck out in all directions. It clasped its hands behind its back, and took long sweeping steps toward the tree. It ran a crooked finger down the blood-drenched tree, popped its finger into its mouth and tasted the lamb’s lifeblood before bounding away toward the house.
He started at the thundering knock on the door, and watched icily from the smoky ceiling as the stranger walked in. He embraced the father as a brother, and the children flocked to him. He bore with him fresh caught salmon, straight from the net, and they repaid his generosity with salted bacon and the last of the venison from the harvest day hunt. They laughed and joked and traded stories as Bastagar watched from the rafters, and in time the children went to their beds and the embers died in the fire.
“This is not a creature of the forest or woods.” the stranger said, drinking deeply from his horn and swaying slightly in it’s seat. ”They call it the Wight of Whistledown. A terrible creature half the size of a man with glowing eyes. They say it preys on farmsteads and livestock, demanding food and tribute…” he says, wiping his beard and lowering his voice to a somber whisper. ”They say he even steals newborn babes from their cribs, stealing them for his fairie masters.”
Bastagar glowered down at the rafters, spitting silent curses at this stranger who insulted him so. They would not wake to find their fields tilled, and the house protected. They would wake to find their fences broken, their milk spoiled, buckets overturned, their cows tails tied together. Crows would eat their harvest and wolves their flocks, and the spiteful gnome would leave the village to the encroaching winter, the bundle in his gnarled hands payment for his service.
Heh. I will take it instead of Rapier proficiency, then. After all, what sort of Viking would use a Rapier? ;-)
The motivations sound fine to me.
VoV, this seems like a good time to revisit my request i had in the recruitment thread about swapping the Druid scimitar prof for a broadsword (Longsword) one. That alright?
Halfhand is a little bit more troublesome... and one idea I have is heavy handed and cruel. Please let me know if you have any thoughts - otherwise I'll ponder on my idea and put it forward later once I've been able to consolidate it.
Well, if that idea lets me summon fiends without getting smote by the paladin, then fire away. Hape has suffered much, what's a little more on top?
But yeah, survival is paramount to this character. If there's a rising threat that could consume him, he might find it prudent to nip it in the bud before it can be realized.
There's also his drive for knowledge: He fears the fey because he does not understand them. A quest or journey with them could be a chance to confront this fear, learn their secrets and ultimately, master them. Experience has been his teacher throughout his exile, I don't see why this couldn't be another lesson.
Or on a more general scale, he could simply want to investigate it for knowledge's own sake. He wants to conquer all the threats of the north by understanding it works. If something mysterious is happening, there would be no doubt the Halfhand would be watching and waiting, his keen mind ready to break apart and analyze the events that unfold.
But yeah, I don't mind if your idea is something involving coercion (magical or otherwise). It would be fun to see how he responds (given his superiority complex) to having to obey orders.
Edit: Is it fine if I reskin some spells to have a more wintery or less flashy effect? Like 'grease' as a 'flashfrost' sort of effect, covering an area in slippery ice? Or uh, refluffing 'colour spray' into a shadow spell that blinds and stuns with darkness instead of light?
Apologies in advance for double-post.
Is it worth investing a point or two in Kn (Nobility) or (Geography) for this AP?
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Or, Color Spray re-skinned as "Northern Lights"!
I will finish her Lay tonight and fix a small problem with her character sheet.
I have finished The Hagcursed Deed and posted it under this profile. I was at a bit of a loss as to what special item to give her as I couldn't afford mastercrafted anything and didn't want to pick a piece of equipment she'd eventually throw away. I therefore made it a penon - a banner - made of cloth spun from the essence of summer in the First World. It has no specific properties or anything, it's just a cool banner that her mother gave her. It's part of the Deed now.
I've changed her avatar because the old one wasn't clicking with me. This one is better I think.
I owe you one more story, something told by her. I will write it tomorrow and it will be about the first Wild Hunt she ever saw. My first vision of this character was an elven knight on a giant white stag and so this will foreshadow her eventual paladin's mount.
I'm pretty much finished with Hilde, or at least I will be tomorrow.
Apologies in advance for double-post. (ooc)Too late to edit(/ooc)
Is it worth investing a point or two in Kn (Nobility) or (Geography) for this AP?
I have Geography covered (traits are awesome), and over the levels can begin to amass points in nature, local and history as they become class skills (and arcana is a requirement for an arcane trickster). Nothing wrong with a bit of overlap, but we do have a bard as well. Do Skalds trade out bardic knowledge?
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Shifty, you know, you play in all of my campaigns. That's kinda awesome.
Well its always nice to know I am noticed and appreciated :p
I'm sure we will continue to have much fun!
Shifty, you know, you play in all of my campaigns. That's kinda awesome.Well its always nice to know I am noticed and appreciated :p
I'm sure we will continue to have much fun!
But of course you are, and yes we will!
Skalds keep Bardic Knowledge, Loremaster, and Versatile Performance :-)
Realistically, the changes provided by the archetype are mostly flavor.
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Think I'm ready to be looked at.
Just gotta go to the shop for stuff.
I got asked about 'alignment' and I sed that I was always a bit bent on the left side and its perfectly normal to stand that way.
They asked about my 'skills' too, and I had to fill the sheet out, think I got it ok.
Acrobatics: Might do it later. Just ate.
Appraise: Huh?
Bluff: "No really, I wont stab yer" - HA who'd believe an Orc?
Climb: I can. Sometimes.
Diplomacy: "Trust me, Im a Orc". 'sif that's gonna work.
Disguise: "No really, I is NOT a Orc, honest" No one believes.
Escape artist: I can't hardly paint, no.
Handle Animal: Is that a type of beer?
Heal: Thats what I sed to the dog, but he walked off.
Intimidate: Talk for ages, and they might get scared, or stab them in the face for quicker and immediate result.
Knowledge (Nature): Yep.
Perception: I see what you did there.
Stealth: Better without my armour on, and then Im good!
Sense Motive: Sense what?
Survival: Yes I can.
Tracking: Pretty good, even when drunk.
Swim: No thanks, its freezing outside, are you mental?