You said no drinking during gaming at your place.
That it would be for a reason.
The only reason given is that the player has demonstrated they are not responsible drinkers. Yet this applies to all players for some reason. What of those who can be responsible?
So, is drinking responsibly (urgh, political correct speak) okay? Is a bit okay, or do you ban it? Not allowing any is banning it pal.
Honestly I think this could be totally solved by your players sharing a few drinks with you during gaming, and everyone having a great time. If you say no, never, not a bit, this never has a chance to come up, and you can remain secure in your opinion but inexperienced in good gaming & drinking. Worrying too much to let these type of good times roll.
Do you drink at all Tri?
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You said no drinking during gaming at your place.
No, I didn't. But I see how you could infer that from what I said.
Do you drink at all Tri?
I do enjoy a glass of wine occasionally. Can't stand the taste of alcohol for the most part. I've tasted beer and have no desire to again. Kirth introduced me to scotch and bourbon, and I have a couple bottles on the counter, but haven't acquired the taste. Now, the drinks I had at the Bonefish Grill and Tokyo Steakhouse were quite amazing. Wonder if we still have the video...
Being "respectful and "polite" gets used rhetorically in all sorts of ways. Not everyone has to drink the same thing as you buddy, you can respect that.If I found myself in a situation where someone else was hosting and alcohol was something regularly made available at the table, I'd bring my concerns up to the host privately, try to see if arrangements can be made to have the drinking belayed during game time, relocate hosting to my place (presuming I have one, and it's suitable for guests), or otherwise work things out. If things couldn't be solved, I'd have to give my apologies to both them and the group, respectfully and regretfully (because I'm going to assume that if I'm going to these lengths to find a way to keep the game going, I like these people and am enjoying spending time with them, and would rather not have the games end), and inform them that I would be unable to continue unless new arrangements were made.
I would try to keep the situation between myself and the host as long as possible, but before completely dissolving the group (or just breaking off myself, if someone else in the group is willing/able to pick up GMing in my place) I would bring it up before the whole table to see if the group as a whole would be amenable to ceasing drinking at the table, relocating to a new host, or some other workable solution. At that point it would basically become majority vote, and if I find myself outvoted... well that's life, and I'd wish them good luck, hope they enjoy their future games, and go on my own way with no hard feelings.
And I think that's really the main point - trying to find something that works, within your limitations, and being respectful and polite about it, and accepting what comes even if you're on the losing end or it means you have to withdraw from the group. We're all (theoretically) adults here.
I can. And I can respect their desire to do so. In their own home. Not in mine.
And in someone else's home, I don't have to be around them when they do drink, and I choose not to. If that means no more gaming for me, then no more gaming. I'll either find another group, go back to online-only gaming, or simply pass. I don't like alcohol, I don't use it for nonmedicinal purposes period, and I won't spend time around people when they are drinking. Simple as that.
I have friends who drink. I don't go to bars with them. I don't go to parties where alcohol is served. I don't hang out in places where drinks are available. Why would I change that for gaming? If it's at my place, my friends know I don't drink, it never comes up. If it's at one of their places, if drinks are being consumed I say "Sorry, not interested, have fun." They have their fun drinking, I don't have to be around the stuff. Everyone (mostly) wins.
Methyphobia?
"I don't have to be around the stuff" reminded me of:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE6Z1nBqLwo
Nope, not phobia. Dislike.
I think I've made my points, so this is coming to an end, but your dislikes don't have to result in you trying to control what others drink.
After all, it is only a dislike. Not the end of the world.
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And as I've said, I'm not. I'm simply not going to be around them when they do it. If it's in my home, they are free to leave. If it's in theirs, I am.
Because in this case, likes and dislikes can be challenged by talking to people, you have to explain why your wishes are more important than their wishes in regards to what they are drinking, lol.
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I think "I am uncomfortable being in a position of authority, when your judgement is impared, if you wish to drink, that is fine, but I cannot include you in the game while you do" would be a reasonable position for DM to hold.
Similarly, "I do not wish a narcotics to be consumed in my home", is reasonable reason for a host to ban alcohol in his house.
If you as a player, I think the most reasonable positions is "I am made uncomfortable by alcohol consumption. I would rather we did not drink while gaming. It is your choice if you do, or do not, but if you do, I will have to withdraw. Your choice."
^ what he said ^
I think it's time for this thread to go away now.
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In their own homes. Not in mine.
Exactly what I've been trying to say, but less succinctly. The host has the right to make that call.
I think "I am uncomfortable being in a position of authority, when your judgement is impared, if you wish to drink, that is fine, but I cannot include you in the game while you do" would be a reasonable position for DM to hold.
Similarly, "I do not wish a narcotics to be consumed in my home", is reasonable reason for a host to ban alcohol in his house.
If you as a player, I think the most reasonable positions is "I am made uncomfortable by alcohol consumption. I would rather we did not drink while gaming. It is your choice if you do, or do not, but if you do, I will have to withdraw. Your choice."
Ha! I knew someone would jump to narcotics.
Big news, big I tell you! Drinking a few ales over hours of gaming does not leave you impaired. Shocking I know.
It can also invigorate, since alcohol in small doses is actually a stimulant, you know, like coffee or red bull.
I will tell you what can leave you impaired, eating a huge amount of chocolate, sweets, take-away or soft drink. That can make you sick to your stomach. Others news dangerous in what it reveals: enjoying a bit of the fine things won't ruin or impair, and that includes chocolate, cakes, spirits, all manner of alcohol and even fizzy drink.
Moderation people, and maybe a bit of indulgence, and our little worlds do not end. You can even find enjoyment and develop your appreciation of new things, new inclusions into your tastes as Toz demonstrated above.
This isn't about impairment, this is about over-reacting. Impairment and narcotics, lol. I was wondering if some here were from the Temperance movement for a while there.
On social contracts, being a part of a large group at uni, we have been lucky enough to calm a few awkwards down and turn them into better players, over time.
So an un-official contract, was that we wouldn't give some of the loons too much of a hard time, but we would prevent them from laughing like jackals or being so damn loud. Teach them slowly how to act with people, without blustering like children. We are philanthropists one and all.
It turned out well after many months.
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Any amount of alcohol in blood impairs you, albeit as long as you don't drink too much, you won't notice, and neither will people around you. Alcohol in blood takes oxygen into itself, and then the brain starves for oxygen, and that is why people get drunk.
As for narcotics, i consider tobacco a narcotic, and have for a while called people who smoke junkies, until i grew up a little and realized that it wasn't nice. I still think of them that way.
Of course, no smoking at my place.
But i would like to ask: Who is the intolerant one here? You or the person who doesn't like alcohol, finds it disgusting and doesn't want to look at people drinking during their favorite pastime, and then asks for you not to drink around him, and leaves if you refuse to do so because nobody is going to tell you what you can drink or can't drink.
Also, if i were the host and told you that there is no alcohol in my house, and you started questioning me, i would simply show you the door.
What a hero.
And if it is not your house, and you can not fall back on that, it is totally not your place at all to come down on what others drink when they game.
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What a hero.
And if it is not your house, and you can not fall back on that, it is totally not your place at all to come down on what others drink when they game.
Nope, it is my place, however, to request that they don't drink on account of it bothering me, just like i would leave the room to fart outside or in the toilet in order for the smell not to reach them. If they said that they would still drink, i would bow out. It's very simple.
I don't think you have a clue what you are talking about. This sounds like a phobia or an exaggeration all in your mind, tied to your disgust, which backs up your sense that you are right on this.
You know the intensity and taste of "the smell" varies a lot right? Beer is nothing at all like a dark rum, some have almost no smell, some will smell fruity, really pleasant, others drinks hide the smell of alcohol really well. Mixing it in like grappa in Italian coffee, well, it doesn't smell like alcohol, it smells like coffee because that has a more powerful aroma.
Chill, have a cold one. lol.
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Oh, please, psychoanalyze me. I just hate alcohol. Ethanol is ethanol, and even a whiff of it is unpleasant to me.
People respect me enough not to drink when i game with them. It was the same when we gamed with a guy allergic to chocolate. We bought only salty snacks. Because we respected the fact that he couldn't imbibe chocolate, and that the scent of chocolate bothered him.
It's called being considerate.
And, several others and myself have repeatedly stated that we respect the choice of others to drink, but that we will also bow out of the game if they choose to drink, even if it is stated that it bothers me.
It only means that they don't respect me enough or don't care for my feelings enough. Or think that they are more important then me (which is true in a sense).
All good man, from enforced contractual rules on drinking, to kicking people out if they don't imbibe what you like when they come round to game, to your "feelings" as a reason to push people around because they aren't sensitive enough, sure sure. You will try anything to justify telling people what to do.
That is unpleasant.
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It’s nice if you let the GM and host know if you can’t make it.
Bring a little something snackwise.
Try not to make too many Monty Python references.
Have fun...
If you fall asleep at the table we can draw on your face.
Farting is fine the louder the better and own it.
A few drinks are fine - getting smashed is not, arriving smashed is not.
Thank the Host and Hostess.
B~$%#%~# session should not last more than 45 mins.
If you are running late you are being NPCed until you arrive.
I knew another group that was very much over monty python.
For me it has never got old, but don't re-use the same material.
It may also be worth noting the legal implications of folks drinking at your house and then leaving- even if they are providing their own drink. While very few jurisdictions are going so far as to find liability to the home owner when a guest leaves drunk and injures someone, it Is happening and if it starts to trend then it'll be something to look out for.
Check into the "Social Host Liability" laws in your area. Whether you think its right or wrong to tell sommeone else to drink at your house, your decision on whether or not to do so can seriously impact you.
As for general social contracts:
Ask the group. The group usually makes decisions rather than any one person, excepting the host. (the aforementioned "don't drink the milk" issue, or the "hey I'm allergic to X, please don't bring X.).
Be on time, or as close to "on time" as the group permits. (my own group's start time is relatively flexible).
Let the group know if you can't make it. Maybe you can get skype'd in.
(had this happen once with a gaming friend. it turned out alot better than I expected it would. Just turn the camera towards the gaming mat.)
Don't be a jerk.
I think the Alcohol thing largely falls under Jerk status.
Why? Because Jerk behavior is defined by the group.
Some groups allow it, others do it heavily, others abstain completely. As evidenced by this thread: some folks love to drink and game and even find the game enhanced by it. Others find the game hindered by it to the extent of leaving if its involved.
I don't think there is "one" true answer other than to talk to the group about it and act accordingly.
-S
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There may also be cases where you put in a "No drinking" rule when what you really want is a "No drinking for Bob" rule, but it'll be easier not to single him out.
And it might not be actual problem drinking, he might just get a little too silly and unfocused. We had one guy for awhile who'd start nodding off if he had a drink or two at the game. He worked a weird schedule, so gaming hours were past his bedtime. And none of us really cared about drinking so it wasn't a big deal.
Did you draw on his face or swap his character sheet for a goblin character sheet and wake him up and tell him combat was on....
My table has been friends since Uni so I suppose we can get away with stuff like that....
When we were in highschool we had the Coffee of doom.... We would start play on Friday night and go through until Sunday afternoon with breaks only for food or a swim in the creek... Anybody caught sleeping had to drink a mixture of 10 spoonst of instant coffee, chillies and Tabasco sauce.
Hmmm. My table welcomes substance abuse issues of all kinds!
[bubble bubble bubble]
Hmmm. My table welcomes substance abuse issues of all kinds!
[bubble bubble bubble]
Hmm played Rifts with some dudes at Uni... A bucket bong sat in the middle of the table...
lulz RPGing while high...I can't imagine that getting very far..
"You walk into a tavern. There's loud music and dancing in the corner and crowded tables."
"Oh cool a tavern"
"So what do you do?"
"About what?"
"The tavern"
"Wait where's a tavern?"
"You're in it"
"Oh cool I hope there's music"
"Ya there's music and uh...uh...uh...go fish?"
"No dude we're playing DnD"
"Oh yeah heheheh"
"I hope we find a tavern soon my char is thirsty."
Yep...
"Hey mate, I am hungry"
"It's cool we ordered Pizza"
"Cool what were we doing again, when is that Pizza getting here.... Anybody wanna make me some veggiemite on Toast?"
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Pfft. Amateurs...
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As I've got older I've turned away from soft drinks and potato chips, so I don't get into those at the table. I find them pleasant no longer; and no dm or player has a foot to stand on telling me or another what I can and cannot drink or eat--be it ale, cucumber sandwiches with bbq sauce, prawn noodles or delicious local pizza.
Whether I'm GM or not, or the host or not, whether there's a rule in place about what can be eaten at the game, or not, I can make my own rule who's allowed to touch my books.
And it won't be the guy with the Cheeto-fingers.
Or the guy who dropped a lasagne onto my Magus double-page spread.
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I once was bored and wrote out rules of etiquette for gaming...
But nobody paid them any attention... :(
I had them neatly divided into four sets of etiquette (GM, Player, Host, and Guest). It neatly spelled out what I expected out of each. Our group was a Player/Host, GM/Guest, and various numbers of Player/Guests. But my input is often ignored in real life... :(
When I host I DO ban alcohol and send you outside to sleep it off (weather permitting). I once had a player that LOVED drinking. At one game he was SO drunk that he couldn't follow the game... later he passed out and puked all over the floor... So NO more booze during the game and if you drink before hand be sure you are NOT drunk. That is one memory I wish I didn't have.
Whether I'm GM or not, or the host or not, whether there's a rule in place about what can be eaten at the game, or not, I can make my own rule who's allowed to touch my books.
And it won't be the guy with the Cheeto-fingers.
Or the guy who dropped a lasagne onto my Magus double-page spread.
Ooh - that sounds like what I did. I felt really bad about it. Honest! I didn't know you still think on it, but I guess if you see it every time the book is opened...
If I had the UM book I'd swap it with you. If I ever buy that book I will swap it for yours - bloomin' italian food!