Bazaar of Sails subplot - I need to not do this

[Mikaze]

PCs visiting Magnimar's Bazaar may come across Golarion analogues of Billy Mays and Vince Offer in an escalating rivalry, with both having their own offers of work and rewards for PCs willing to bring them something that gives them the edge of the competition.

I know I shouldn't do this.

But the idea won't leave my head.

I'm thinking about a Barry Scott analogue as a wild card third party...

And an insanely high charisma Isiah Mustafa-figure as a figure outside the conflict that could give the players some perspective on how the marketing game is played.

I really don't want to overshadow Sabriyya though, and this absolutely has to be kept just subtle enough to not break the feel of the campaign. Maybe just a one/two-use aside during downtime. Maybe the possibly disruptive rivalry could be something Sabriyya would mention in passing as something she'd like sorted out sooner rather than later. Maybe the edge the Mays and Offer analogues are seeking could come in the form of additional goods from the Mushfens along with the herbs Sabriyya wants.

Seriously, imagine Billy Mays promoting sovereign glue. Or Vince Offer selling mithril cooking ware from Ultimate Equipment. This has to be done.

Damn you, Internet memes.

Spoiler:

I still miss Billy Mays.

edit-OH GOD. Sabriyya, being Qadiran, could futher complicate this. The Mays and Offer analogues might both be two of her husbands, adding a new layer to the rivalry. I want to do this even more now.

[Mark Sweetman]

I'd humbly suggest that you need a Shouty Man as well.

[Tarondor]

There exists someone more shouty than was Billy Mays? The man had no indoor voice whatsoever!

[Mikaze]

Oh I better actually try to keep this relatively grounded.

I already came dangerously close to statting up one of those flailing fan-tube men as an aberration from the Plane of Air already.

edit-Ah, airdancers, they actually have a name for those horrors.

[ANebulousMistress]

I approve of this. I approve of this so hard.

It's a fine balance to keep things grounded enough that they don't derail but fantastic enough that your players (and their PCs) are left standing there staring at the spectacle as the scene works them over and immerses them to a level they didn't know could exist. It's a careful balance but it can be done.

I wouldn't stat out the airdancers tho. But a trained exotic animal prancing in place, waving a sign about? Maybe a halfling with a bored look on his face? Think those dudes on the corner with a car wash sign, headphones in their ears, dancing in place just because they can.