The Most Explosively Opinionated Political Thread Ever.


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You fool! You accepted it!

*trap the soul spell effect triggers*

Soon! Soon I will have trapped all of Paizo.com’s greatest heroes and then, then the website will be mine and mine alone!!!

Ahahahahhahaha!!!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

*trap the soul spell effect triggers*

Oh please. Like anyone here has one of THOSE left.


Huh, what's in here?

AAARGH!

Grand Lodge

I'm a ginger, so the spell doesn't effect me.


At last! We've found our true home, chaps!

And since we're mere animated weapons, we don't need to make a fuss about that pesky soul business, wot wot!


TriOmegaZero wrote:
I'm a ginger, so the spell doesn't effect me.

The Killer DM says otherwise!

Three of Paizo’s greatest heroes down already! How much time does this world really have left?!

Grand Lodge

2 people marked this as a favorite.

The Killer DM is wrong, as clearly shown in the rule book!

Bickering Partisans wrote:
wot wot!

Every time I read this I think hares.


Whoa!


TriOmegaZero wrote:

The Killer DM is wrong, as clearly shown in the rule book!

You fool! The rule book will never get in the way of a Killer DM killing you, even if you prove him wrong he will just add a house rule on the fly proving him right! Do you know nothing of gaming?!


TriOmegaZero wrote:
I'm a ginger, so the spell doesn't effect me.

What happens when you start out a ginger and your hair turns brown after you shave your head in your 20's. Does the spell still effect you or am I a ginger with a soul?

My beard is still ginger.


Just for the record, I am not one of Paizo's heroes.

Occupy Paizo!
Down with anti-goblin bigotry!
For workers revolution to smash Killer DMs!

I am pretty great, though.

Shadow Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
A Diabolically Evil Villain wrote:
You fool! The rule book will never get in the way of a Killer DM killing you, even if you prove him wrong he will just add a house rule on the fly proving him right! Do you know nothing of gaming?!

I know everything about gaming. If the Killer DM tries to kill me with fiat, I just ignore his fiat with my own fiat. Then I turn into CoDzilla and destroy his campaign like Tokyo. Massive fires and death rays.


TOZ wrote:
A Diabolically Evil Villain wrote:
You fool! The rule book will never get in the way of a Killer DM killing you, even if you prove him wrong he will just add a house rule on the fly proving him right! Do you know nothing of gaming?!
I know everything about gaming. If the Killer DM tries to kill me with fiat, I just ignore his fiat with my own fiat. Then I turn into CoDzilla and destroy his campaign like Tokyo. Massive fires and death rays.

I usually just don't ever play with them again, but to each their own.


I have no soul. So I guess only the atheists/materialists will be left standing.

Explosive thread indeed.


Comrade Anklebiter wrote:

Just for the record, I am not one of Paizo's heroes.

Occupy Paizo!
Down with anti-goblin bigotry!
For workers revolution to smash Killer DMs!

I am pretty great, though.

Then you may appreciate the world to come, where all the PCs who ‘heroically’ smashed their way into your peoples homes and stole your hard won possessions are all in chains and the goblins ride them around like ponies.


TOZ wrote:
A Diabolically Evil Villain wrote:
You fool! The rule book will never get in the way of a Killer DM killing you, even if you prove him wrong he will just add a house rule on the fly proving him right! Do you know nothing of gaming?!
I know everything about gaming. If the Killer DM tries to kill me with fiat, I just ignore his fiat with my own fiat. Then I turn into CoDzilla and destroy his campaign like Tokyo. Massive fires and death rays.

I must give you your props then: You may be the single greatest PC I have ever encountered…you have slain the Killer DM and absorbed his power like a Highlander.

Shadow Lodge

You keep what you kill.


TOZ wrote:
You keep what you kill.

A man after my own…what is that thing called again? Oh yes, Heart.


CunningMongoose wrote:

I have no soul. So I guess only the atheists/materialists will be left standing.

Explosive thread indeed.

How trap the soul works

“But wait!” You heroes at large might whine to the DM: “This thread isn’t a gem!”

Come now, you wouldn’t have touched it if you didn’t think it might be a gem.

Liberty's Edge

So this means Cayden is now evil?


Souls. How quaint.


Well, as I created the nuclear bomb decades ago and obliterated greyhawk with it, which gave me bazillions of xp, I am of such uber-epic level now (mind you, I was only a modest level 358 before that) that I am immune to such puny spells like trap the soul. Perhaps I will obliterate that tiny world Golarion right now - obliterating Greyhawk was all fun and gains. DM? A DM is of no concern to such a powerful being as me, as I ignore his rulings anyway.


A Diabolically Evil Villain wrote:
CunningMongoose wrote:

I have no soul. So I guess only the atheists/materialists will be left standing.

Explosive thread indeed.

How trap the soul works

“But wait!” You heroes at large might whine to the DM: “This thread isn’t a gem!”

Come now, you wouldn’t have touched it if you didn’t think it might be a gem.

Damn, they say trap the soul, but they trap the body. Bastards!

And, well, I guess this thread may be a gem, but I doubt it's worth 1000 gp.

The Exchange

Comrade Anklebiter wrote:

Just for the record, I am not one of Paizo's heroes.

Occupy Paizo!
Down with anti-goblin bigotry!
For workers revolution to smash Killer DMs!

I am pretty great, though.

I agree! My goblin Minions b+&&@ all the time about having to pay for their own priests to raise them from the dead. Their medical expenses should be paid for by the PCs who murder them.

Liberty's Edge

Speaking of souls, mine is for sale. I accept all major credit cards and Pay Pal.

$1,000,000 OBO


CunningMongoose wrote:


Damn, they say trap the soul, but they trap the body. Bastards!

And, well, I guess this thread may be a gem, but I doubt it's worth 1000 gp.

Spells with misleading names are deliciously evil! Are they not? They are, in fact, a symptom of the evil I have spread throughout the ages.

When the first DM crawled forth from his cave with nothing but a loin cloth and a D20 made of stone, it was I that whispered to him dreams of unlimited power over helpless PCs and implanted within him a desire for their blood. From that day forth, every antisocial gaming style, every rules argument, every killer DM, all are my work. And it is not just the players of the games that are effected either; the games themselves writhe under my necrotic touch. You think it is difficult to create a well balanced game that is also dynamic? Try doing so with my dark thoughts invading your mind:

“Yessssss, one of these abilities summons a ham sandwich, the other, alters reality and let’s you do whatever you want, including summoning a ham sandwich, it totally makes sense to make these abilities the same level.”

Foolish game designers, they think that their thoughts are their own but they are nothing but puppets!!!

A thousandy years of subtle manipulation and the destruction of the fun of countless gamers has lead me to this, my endgame, my takeover of the Paizo messageboards and the looting of the secrets cleverly hidden within by the staff!

Nothing can stop me!

Ahahahahahah!

And do not worry, my evil investment banking firm Gold Mansacks has artificially inflated the value of this nearly worthless thread and gotten foolish PCs to invest their life savings in it, it will have value long enough to trap every last one of you heroes.


Andrew Turner wrote:

Speaking of souls, mine is for sale. I accept all major credit cards and Pay Pal.

$1,000,000 OBO

What is your game, eyebally Turner beast? You think I don’t recognize a fellow villain when I see one?! Explain yourself before I unleash the BootyChewers ™ upon you!


.....

The Exchange

All souls into the pot...roll 3d6 and highest unique number gets them all.

*Rolls 3d6* "6+4+5=15!"

Liberty's Edge

I'm also willing to sell other people's souls, and at substantial discounts, especially for bulk purchases.


yellowdingo wrote:

All souls into the pot...roll 3d6 and highest unique number gets them all.

*Rolls 3d6* "6+4+5=15!"

*rolls 3d6* “6+5+6=Swings a greataxe into yellowdingo’s face”

Get outta here ya mangy mutt! These souls are mine! Mine!


Andrew Turner wrote:
I'm also willing to sell other people's souls, and at substantial discounts, especially for bulk purchases.

Hmmm, do you accept cash that has been stolen solely from the pockets of innocent, hard working taxpayers who trust the government they think I represent? I only ask because I’ve known other soul vendors who have hang ups about this, which is odd, considering their profession, but I suppose everyone has to draw the line somewhere.


A Diabolically Evil Villain wrote:
Andrew Turner wrote:
I'm also willing to sell other people's souls, and at substantial discounts, especially for bulk purchases.
Hmmm, do you accept cash that has been stolen solely from the pockets of innocent, hard working taxpayers who trust the government they think I represent? I only ask because I’ve known other soul vendors who have hang ups about this, which is odd, considering their profession, but I suppose everyone has to draw the line somewhere.

That's the problem with Lawful Evil, yeeesssss. All those pesky hangups and limitations.

*dusts smoke off suit where trap the soul bounced off his SR*

I support this business endeavor though, keep up the good work, yeeesssss.

Liberty's Edge

Damn me for the freedom of the Chaotic Evil!

Alas, I am bound by immutable Law.

I do, however, know a certain Old One or three who are less, shall we say, discerning.

Have your people call my people.

We'll do lunch.


Andrew Turner wrote:

Damn me for the freedom of the Chaotic Evil!

Alas, I am bound by immutable Law.

I do, however, know a certain Old One or three who are less, shall we say, discerning.

Have your people call my people.

We'll do lunch.

Agreed!

*steeples fingers and cackles madly in delight at the thought of a fresh influx of juicy, delicious souls*


A Diabolically Evil Villain wrote:
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:

Just for the record, I am not one of Paizo's heroes.

Occupy Paizo!
Down with anti-goblin bigotry!
For workers revolution to smash Killer DMs!

I am pretty great, though.

Then you may appreciate the world to come, where all the PCs who ‘heroically’ smashed their way into your peoples homes and stole your hard won possessions are all in chains and the goblins ride them around like ponies.

Yes. I would like that very much.


Andrew Turner wrote:

Speaking of souls, mine is for sale. I accept all major credit cards and Pay Pal.

$1,000,000 OBO

I bid one dollar AND NINE CENTS! [/Navin R. Johnson]


<Explodes>


Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
A Diabolically Evil Villain wrote:
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:

Just for the record, I am not one of Paizo's heroes.

Occupy Paizo!
Down with anti-goblin bigotry!
For workers revolution to smash Killer DMs!

I am pretty great, though.

Then you may appreciate the world to come, where all the PCs who ‘heroically’ smashed their way into your peoples homes and stole your hard won possessions are all in chains and the goblins ride them around like ponies.

Yes. I would like that very much.

Then the future is bright for you Comrade, the future is bright.


Dire Rhea wrote:
<Explodes>

You would. You don’t have the intestinal fortitude to be a real villain my friend.


Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
A Diabolically Evil Villain wrote:

Then you may appreciate the world to come, where all the PCs who ‘heroically’ smashed their way into your peoples homes and stole your hard won possessions are all in chains and the goblins ride them around like ponies.

Yes. I would like that very much.

I like the sound of that too. Tell me more about how to become a Gobway product distributer!


BigNorseWolf wrote:

*trap the soul spell effect triggers*

Oh please. Like anyone here has one of THOSE left.

Hey, I have four!

Wait, were did I get that one?
...
*munch-munch* Yay, elf-flavored!

Ok, now I have three left...


I UTTERLY REFUSE TO VOTE FOR MITT ROMNEY!!!!!! Not because of his politics but because I am sure he is a bunch of gnomes dressed in a man suit!!!!


I say dear fellow. None of that conspiracy rabble in here, confound it. You'll stir up the tabloids and then by Jove we'll never be free of the paparazzi.

Liberty's Edge

The Minis Maniac wrote:
I UTTERLY REFUSE TO VOTE FOR MITT ROMNEY!!!!!! Not because of his politics but because I am sure he is a bunch of gnomes dressed in a man suit!!!!

But... you do realize... I'm... half-gnome as well... right?


Barr-aka Ambrosia wrote:
The Minis Maniac wrote:
I UTTERLY REFUSE TO VOTE FOR MITT ROMNEY!!!!!! Not because of his politics but because I am sure he is a bunch of gnomes dressed in a man suit!!!!
But... you do realize... I'm... half-gnome as well... right?

UGGGHHHH!! UNCLEAN!!!!! UNCLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scarab Sages

A little bug told me there's business to be done here. You know what they say, there's no business like soul business....

Liberty's Edge

The Minis Maniac wrote:
Barr-aka Ambrosia wrote:
The Minis Maniac wrote:
I UTTERLY REFUSE TO VOTE FOR MITT ROMNEY!!!!!! Not because of his politics but because I am sure he is a bunch of gnomes dressed in a man suit!!!!
But... you do realize... I'm... half-gnome as well... right?
UGGGHHHH!! UNCLEAN!!!!! UNCLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{points at MM} SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!

Grand Lodge

For the record, we gnomes do not comprise Mitt Romney, nor any other candidate for the office of the President of the United States. This year, anyway.


Denial only fuels the fires of conspiracy, old bean. The idea's been planted, they'll naught to turn loose of it now.

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