Mark Hoover |
You hit me in a dream you better wake up and apologize
2 hits: I hit you, you hit the floor
I'm gonna hit you so hard I'm gonna kill your whole family!
Is that gasoline I smell?
Go ahead Tin Tin; you got me dead bang
Stop me if you've heard this one
Your friend shouldn't play with knives
FIRE IT UP!
This is the really REAL world!
xanthemann |
Ah ha! Ice Pirates...sneaky.
Laugh it up fuzz ball. (that could probably work for Klingons vs Tribbles)
To the pain.
I killed you too quickly the last time; a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Inconceivable!
There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. 'Twould be a pity to damage yours.
You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.
You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die.
I want my father back you son-of-a-b!+ch.
Stockvillain |
NSFW due to the battle cry being swiped from "Your Highness."
Spoilered for the sake of the childrens.
WIZZY: Alright, time to ruin their day.
GM: How do you plan to do that?
WIZZY: Magic, motherf~!+er!
NOTE- Okay, the boards will censor the swear, anywho, but you know what I'm getting at.
Icyshadow |
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And then there was a wizard player we knew, who would always use Evard's black tentacles whenever possible, uttering such things as:
"Unleash the rape tentacles!"
"I cast rape"
"I maximise rape"
Yeah, that guy was obsessed. We began to feel really bad for the enemies.
1. Those aren't really battle cries.
2. None of those lines are funny, and I feel bad for your party (except the Wizard) unless you guys find those jokes genuinely funny.
If you do, you can have some of my contempt for free.
Also, I've yet to see my players use any actual battle cries in quite a while, which is why I barely have any to share here.
Mark Hoover |
Sneak attack?
Not so much a battle cry but a question repeated OVER and OVER by me the first time I ever got a chance to play a rogue in a PF game.
A few years ago a GM ran a weekend-long one shot game and I went on these boards for advice. I showed up at the table with a rogue with animal handling, both a pair of hunting dogs AND a trained hawk (didn't realize the hawk wouldn't count as a flanker), blinding powder, a sickle and the Improved Trip dip. I maxed out stealth for first round SA's and felt like I was set to exploit every possible way to get it.
I pulled off 2 SA's in 30 hours of gaming. One was because my entire party was on the demon, and the other was an inconsequential summoned lion.
At the start of the game we left the main city by griffins so I couldn't keep any of my animals (not even the hawk). The neighboring city had NO guard dog kennels or trained animals of any kind per the GM. My 2 doses of blinding powder were useless due to made saves. I stealthed all the time but either the enemies auto-spotted me or by the time I got to the fight it was over. My fave was when we had one of the 2 elites of the BBEG prone and I moved up for a SA my weapons amazingly didn't hit even though I'd hit with worse rolls seconds before. My GM later explained the BBEG was invisible and cast a buff on the guy to keep him from dying.
That game was...challenging.
Mark Hoover |
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This is why, as a GM one of my favorite battle cries is "Yess!" (in the voice of Phil Hartman as Ed McMahon). I freaking live by the rule of yes now. As in: is this a Sneak Attack? YESS Sir! YOU...ARE CORRECT SIR!
Seriously though I say yes to a lot. I don't feel I'm a pushover but I have ruled that an owl familiar can wield a wand, I've started using a "hidden" condition kind of thing for rogue SA's and once I even just let the PC's make some initial rolls and, since the plan was airtight and their skill checks were so awesome I let them just cake walk past a hazardous trap & locked/Brown Mold infested door to ambush some kobolds.
'Course the reason I say I'm not a pushover is because then later on they fought the green dragon the kobolds were placating. That was a near TPK; the rogue was wiped before he had a chance to SA.
Still, I find it leads to much greater heights of epicness when I say yes instead of no, or having everything make its save, or having fights cleave to a script.
The first session of every new campaign I tell my players try anything. I mean it; try anything. Want to combine Acrobatics AND Climb to get to a ledge in one move so that then you can snipe the ogre? Try it. Want to do a running jump over a pit and have it count as a Charge when you land and cleave the kobolds? Try it. Wanna put Ant Haul on your Enlarged owl famliar and have it fly you around while you magic missile everyone? TRY IT!
xanthemann |
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I tried 'it' once.
We were faced with a whole bunch of undead types, a quarter of a mile worth, and we had a catapult...I had a fighter with two shields...it made sense after seeing the BBEG at a distance.
'FIRE!' is what my character said. The next thing I know I am rolling 2D6 for nonlethal damage and 17D6 for damage to me and to the bad guy + 1d6 for my attack. It did 100 points of damage to the bad guy and 25 points to my character leaving my character with 1 point.
xanthemann |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
That was dealing with those 'angels' wasn't it Aranna?
Sounds like I have to make another 'Prestige Class Mark...you didn't see the Duke prestige class did you?
"I am the Doctor and you are the Daleks!"
Alright - it's a Jammie Dodger! But I was promised tea!
“A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.”
Captain Jack: "Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks 'Oooh, this could be a little more sonic'?"
The Doctor: "What? you never been bored? Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?"
Not really battle cries, but cool quotes all the same.
Mark Hoover |
Has the Doctor ever had an honest battle to cry for?
I suppose he did in the Time War against the Dalek, and then again when he found the last of them with Rose. Nothing leaps out and screams "battle cry" though.
Calling his quips battle cries would be just as valid as saying "Hallo I.T. Have you tried turning it off and on then?" as a rebel yell.
Oh, and Xan: consider a "redshirts" prestige or archetype...
xanthemann |
Red Shirt done I hope you like it Mark.
I am the Doctor and you are the Daleks!" counts as a battle cry, doesn't it?
Besides I think it was really cool when he held them off with a biscuit.
I can't leave without typing a new one though, so...
"Engage!"
As long as there is injustice, whenever a Targathian baby cries out, wherever a distress signal sounds among the stars, we'll be there. This fine ship, this fine crew. Never give up... and never surrender. (said by the self proclaimed leader of the crew)
I'm just jazzed about being on the show, man. (said by the noob Bard)
by Grabthar's hammer... by the Sons of Warvan... you shall be... avenged. (said by the Barbarian as he began to rage)
Am I too late for Alexander's panic attack? (just before the Barbarian raged)
That was a hell of a thing. (said after the battle)
It's like throwing gasoline on a flame. (advice given in battle)
I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm just "Crewman Number Six." I'm expendable. I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove how serious the situation is. I've gotta get outta here.(said by the Bard)
I remember that sound. That's a bad sound. (said when the Wizard was about to use Fireball)
Are we there yet? (said by everyone at some point in time, just before a random encounter)
You know, with all that makeup and stuff, I actually thought you were SMART for a second. (said when the 'leader's' plan failed)
Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy. (said by the Cleric)
It's "Scene-Stealing Hack," thank you. (said when the battle plan was salvaged by the fighter)
I avoided capture by using your Mak'tar stealth haze. (said by the Rogue after a sneak attack)
I'm just a glorified extra, Fred. I'm a dead man anyway. If I'm gonna die, I'd rather go out a hero than a coward. (said by the bard before the battle turned to our favor)
Whoever wrote this episode should DIE. (said when the poo hit the fan)
Does the rolling *help*? (said to one player who kept playing with his dice)
Oh *that's* not right! No... (said after the fighter turned an orc into a red mist...covering the bard)
CAW! CAW! (signal the bard gave for when the poo hit the fan)
Sure, they're cute now, but in a second they're gonna get mean, and they're gonna get ugly somehow, and there's gonna be a million more of them. (said by the bard when viewing goblins that were 'disguised' as teddy bears)
It's a rock! It doesn't have any vulnerable spots! (said by the fighter when faced by an earth elemental)
Could you possibly try NOT to hit EVERY SINGLE ONE? (said by the Monk to the fighter, seeing as how the monk had yet to kill anything)
xanthemann |
The one I used today was against Razmir the living god. It is something of a long story, but it is covered in another thread here.
My character has a spell like ability of ventriloquism and whispered in Raz's ear,
'So you are a living god? Watch this.' just as I launched my attack.
Mark Hoover |
The one I used today was against Razmir the living god. It is something of a long story, but it is covered in another thread here.
My character has a spell like ability of ventriloquism and whispered in Raz's ear,
'So you are a living god? Watch this.' just as I launched my attack.
You have a last name guy. (response of character) DO I?
Look around, see if you can make some kind of rudimentarly lathe...
Aranna you're right; they're all just quotes.
However here's one a buddy of mine reminded me of:
Fly my pretties!
This was uttered by said buddy playing a witchy sorceress in a 3.5 game. The character was caught in a net trap and Entangled but made his concentration check. The only spell left hurled stones from someone's hand as if they'd been slung. 3 rolls; 2 natural 20's.
It. Was. Awesome!
3 hits, 2 of them confirmed crits, to the bbeg by the squishiest character ended up turning the tide of the fight so that the summoner's monsters could surround and outflank the ogre magi. I didn't even think she'd get the spell off, let alone inflict any damage!