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After a lifetime of study, I have determined that there are three Universal Condiments:
I. Peanut butter*
II. Cheese**
III. Avocado***
*None of the creamy s%*+
**Any kind will do
***No, not guacamole, that is just salsa with avocado topping
There is a fabled Fourth Condiment, but I have heard . . . only tales. It is said to be found in the mysterious nation of Italy. Its name is powerful, and I will only reveal it to those who share my righteous search.
What are those of us who declare the avocado and all derivatives thereof Heresy of the Highest Degree?
I've always thought that Avocado pits would make for great sling ammunition...
I never keep the pits around long enough to watch 'em rot, but they're almost perfectly spherical and very dense. Know I wouldn't wanna be clocked by one.
Still wouldn't wanna get clocked by one.
My BFF puts ketchup on almost everything. As for myself, bring on the mustard!
Mayonnaise, though, is horrific.
There is a fabled Fourth Condiment, but I have heard . . . only tales. It is said to be found in the mysterious nation of Italy. Its name is powerful, and I will only reveal it to those who share my righteous search.
Olive oil?
The Romans loved a thing called Garum... From Wiki.
The sauce was typically made by crushing the innards of various fishes such as mackerel, tuna, and eel, and then fermenting them in brine.
Garum was produced in various grades consumed by all social classes. After the liquid garum was ladled off of the top of the mixture, the remains of the fish, called allec, was used by the poorest classes to flavour their staple porridge or polenta. The finished product—the nobile garum of Martial's epigram —was apparently mild and subtle in flavor. The best garum fetched extraordinarily high prices.
When mixed with wine (oenogarum, a popular Byzantine sauce), vinegar, black pepper, or oil, garum enhances the flavor of a wide variety of dishes, including boiled veal and steamed mussels, even pear-and-honey soufflé. Diluted with water (hydrogarum) it was distributed to Roman legions. Pliny remarked that it could be diluted to the colour of honey wine and drunk.
Huh. I didn't know the Romans made Fish sauce.
I saw Ross Byers had posted in here and thought to myself, "How did that thread get locked?!?"
Hee hee!
Anyway, mustard 4-eva!
This thread has made me desire peanut butter; luckily I had already planned on making peanut butter tofu for dinner tonight. Yay, peanut butter!
I'd add ranch dressing to the list, though.
For meat and cheese: mayonnaise and ketchup. Also garlic sauce and tartar sauce (the ones described at wiki are incomplete as they do not mention chopped mushrooms).
I don't get what you Americans see in peanut butter, it's much-much worse than cocoa/chocolate butter or good jam.
Avocado is not a condiment, it's rather unremarkable fruit.
Huh. I didn't know the Romans made Fish sauce.
It was their most favourite condiment followed by honey for sweetening things.
Wha-?! Nothing spicy? No horseradish, no wasabi, no sriracha, no tabasco sauce?! You poor bland goblin and your deprived tastebuds!
I never keep the pits around long enough to watch 'em rot, but they're almost perfectly spherical and very dense. Know I wouldn't wanna be clocked by one.
They certainly leave a nasty bruise on an eight year old's calf when they coming flying out from under a running lawnmower.
Horseradish is good. Especially with mustard.
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Wha-?! Nothing spicy? No horseradish, no wasabi, no sriracha, no tabasco sauce?! You poor bland goblin and your deprived tastebuds!
Spicy is indeed tasty but it is not universal!
Avocado pits are indeed deudly weapons they may not make good sling bullets but they are certainly good throwing stones.
Anyway I think you are all trustworthy the fourth condiment is
