*pffft* the waiting game is no fun though. If your alien race is k'zinti or klingon.
More fun to kill them all up close and personal.
This is prolly why we should get some orbital lasers going, so the aliens rigging up inertial thrusters to asteroids to drop on important cities like Darwin will have more of a challenge.
If we give them a really really good f@!&ing fight, maybe even kill a few of the scum, they'll harvest our reproductive cells and keep us as a cunning, somewhat dangerous prey species for really fun safaris.
And the species will go on. Humanity's existence will be assured.
They'll probably have a weakness of some sort. Like cane toad squirt juice kills them on contact.
Yeah. I'm pretty sure we'll do these m~&%~$%@%+%~s up like ewoks on stormtroopers.
Gnarly primates we are. Man, our ancestors hunted wooly f##@ing mammoths and cave bears with spears. Spears, man. Or,.....dropping rocks on their heads from cunning hiding places.
They didn't even have muskets. They used rocks and sticks.
They'd be ashamed at this pitiful display.
I'm sorry, Gorg.......Krooog......Eeeeegwa.........I apologize, for the pitiable state many of your progeny have shown here; I'll make it up to you some how.
Now,......bring on the extra testicals!!!!
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I am more than willing to give Spanky to our alien overlords. They will beg for mercy after a few hours.
See?
I always knew I'd have to beat back an alien invasion singlehandedly.
"meeeah.....we're gamers. we spent our entire lives preparing for something like a zombie invasion or alien attack. THIS is our FINEST HOUR!!!" what a load of bollox.
See?
I always knew I'd have to beat back an alien invasion singlehandedly.
"meeeah.....we're gamers. we spent our entire lives preparing for something like a zombie invasion or alien attack. THIS is our FINEST HOUR!!!" what a load of bollox.
Skill Monkey rolls Diplomacy at +35, okay?! >.>
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Infiltrate the humans by assuming the form of one of their common household human animal pets. Preferably a species that is known to act strange and spends much of its time "sleeping." Program its eyes to mimic the original's subtle hypnotism, and the vocalisation to drive the humans to do your bidding. Live out your retirement in comfort and luxury.
"Die" when they seem to be on to you.
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"terraform" Earth (yeah, it would be called something else really, but 'glaxnorgsixform' just sounds silly).
Seriously, why invade a planet, which has all sorts of potential environmental hazards for you when you can just modify the planet's environment to better fit your needs? An ecological invasion would be a definite means to gain a foothold subtly and would most likely go unnoticed or unrecognized for longer than an direct invasion.
Covered in David "Tribble" Gerrold's War Against the Chtorr. He even had the virus. Most annoying of all is that he is still trying to finish the heptalogy.
I guess an ecological war would take decades to write up...
Yay!! Someone got the reference!
And yeah ... I think the worms got the last 3 books ...
That might work, depending on their psychology.
I'm thinking, though, they value whacking stuff instead of acquiring material goods. I don't think the extra testicals will be humans with Star Trak masks on.
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All they have to do is lay siege to planet Earth and wait for us
to run out of food.
.
Lay siege? As in, prevent us from leaving Earth? Shouldn't exactly bother too many people, should it?
They could give us everything that we desire; our every whim and want at the touch of a button. The human race, by and large, would be utterly beholden to our alien benefactors in no time.
Depends on how they travel.
If they are infomorphs:
Then they get in through Seti, infect major communications networks and from there jump straight into out heads. We become the aliens in a matter of days. The aliens then live here for a few hundred thousand years, before using use as a relay sation to transmit them selves on to other worlds.
Solution? take down all communication systems. Nuke then carpet bomb infected cities, hope they cannot simply infect humans and animals through spoken word or graffiti.
If they are physical.
Nanite disassembler swarms.
Drop a few hundred swarms on major population centres. Humans and all human technology get turned into near piles of resources to be scooped up. Our system is strip mined for every resource imaginable, and they move on.
Solution? current tech level? None, as we are all dead before we even know there is a problem.
If they are physical.
Nanite disassembler swarms.
Drop a few hundred swarms on major population centres. Humans and all human technology get turned into near piles of resources to be scooped up. Our system is strip mined for every resource imaginable, and they move on.
Solution? current tech level? None, as we are all dead before we even know there is a problem.
Isn't this essentially the Grey Goo thing mentioned above?
Isn't this essentially the Grey Goo thing mentioned above?If they are physical.
Nanite disassembler swarms.
Drop a few hundred swarms on major population centres. Humans and all human technology get turned into near piles of resources to be scooped up. Our system is strip mined for every resource imaginable, and they move on.
Solution? current tech level? None, as we are all dead before we even know there is a problem.
On reading it, yet it is. I congratulate tiny coffee golem for thinking it through :D
If I was the Alien Overlord Earth Obliteration Counselor, I'd go with the following options:
1.- KAL-KTP (Kill All Life - Keep the Planet): Position a massively innefficient nuclear reactor somewhere safe, perhaps beyond the Moon, and shower the planet with extreme radiation for some time. Sure, cocroaches and those tiny bear-like amoeba things will survive, but shouldn't be much of a problem.
2.- DEFG (Destroy Everything For Giggles): Just start blasting rocks off the Asteroid Belt and send them on Earth's way. Space billiard. This time, though, aim for more than just Buenos Aires. Best thing they'll notice will be strange phenomena happening beyond Mars that they will somehow find a way to explain, before big rocks start killing everyone.
3.- IFOWONAO (I For One Welcome Our New Alien Overlords): Contact big companies and offer them technology that puts them slightly forward the rest. Do so in all key aspects of society, such as power generation, water supply, computers, food production, etc. Keep the information strictly one way, so that they don't know they are dealing with aliens. Maybe create tiny false companies that "develop" said inventions and then either sell them to the big guys or lure them in so they buy the companies directly. Make sure the jumps are at the same time significative enough to give the company an edge yet not impressive enough to cause widespread awe. Once you get the flow going, start implementing sensitive tech that helps you take a hold of those key industries, until you are left having all the fundamental sectors in hand; make people, other companies, and governments depend on your tech. Once the mood sets in, you can start pushing wonder-tech a bit faster, trying to hit that "universal component" spot where you can use relatively few base products to create a wide variety of things, which means you start controlling the fundamental supply. Go all Edison on the competition if you can, showing the dangers of using regular smartphones rathern that awephones or how buying marvelmeat doesn't require cows to be slaughtered. After that, best scenario is to keep it secret and have humans think they are just controlled by big corporations, which is likely easier to digest than deep-space tentacle monsters. Or make a big display and suck the brains of the opposition. That's cool too.
If I was the Alien Overlord Earth Obliteration Counselor, I'd go with the following options:
1.- KAL-KTP (Kill All Life - Keep the Planet): Position a massively innefficient nuclear reactor somewhere safe, perhaps beyond the Moon, and shower the planet with extreme radiation for some time. Sure, cocroaches and those tiny bear-like amoeba things will survive, but shouldn't be much of a problem.
2.- DEFG (Destroy Everything For Giggles): Just start blasting rocks off the Asteroid Belt and send them on Earth's way. Space billiard. This time, though, aim for more than just Buenos Aires. Best thing they'll notice will be strange phenomena happening beyond Mars that they will somehow find a way to explain, before big rocks start killing everyone.
3.- IFOWONAO (I For One Welcome Our New Alien Overlords): Contact big companies and offer them technology that puts them slightly forward the rest. Do so in all key aspects of society, such as power generation, water supply, computers, food production, etc. Keep the information strictly one way, so that they don't know they are dealing with aliens. Maybe create tiny false companies that "develop" said inventions and then either sell them to the big guys or lure them in so they buy the companies directly. Make sure the jumps are at the same time significative enough to give the company an edge yet not impressive enough to cause widespread awe. Once you get the flow going, start implementing sensitive tech that helps you take a hold of those key industries, until you are left having all the fundamental sectors in hand; make people, other companies, and governments depend on your tech. Once the mood sets in, you can start pushing wonder-tech a bit faster, trying to hit that "universal component" spot where you can use relatively few base products to create a wide variety of things, which means you start controlling the fundamental supply. Go all Edison on the competition if you can, showing the dangers of using regular smartphones rathern that awephones or how buying...
1. space has a lot of those already, they are called stars. Earth has built in defences that stop far worse radiation sources than a fission reactors.
2. Is a collosal waste of time, and there are closer sources if you want to use asteroid bombardment, such as our various L's
3. Why give a technological leg up to a species if you want to control them? Far better to tactically strike existing key infrastructure, and offer replacements you control
Humans did it to them and now it is revenge time. Infect their Macs and PCs with a virus to take down the network.
